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Beyond Suffering
–It is impossible to change Ryuzaki.
Just after I thought that, I suddenly opened my eyes.
(I’m about to give up again…!)
This is what happens to me as soon as I let my guard down.
Whenever I’m faced with a challenge, a fog always hangs over my thoughts.
My thinking becomes sluggish, and I always come to conclusions that make me give up thinking.
Don’t forget that as a result of continually giving up in this way, I became despicable and began to think of myself as a mob character.
I’m tired of that development.
If I keep making excuses for being a mob character and repeating the process of taking three steps forward and two steps back, I’m just the same as I’ve always been.
(Think… how can I change Ryuzaki?)
This distorted human nature.
What kind of process can transform the worldview of the protagonist, whose world has become twisted because he was born with the gift of being loved and has been loved without doing anything about it?
(The protagonist’s awakening… it is beyond hardship.)
After thinking about it with my signature meta-thoughts, I finally came to a conclusion.
Good. My thinking has not yet stopped.
here is still a fog blocking my thoughts, but it seems that I managed to find a path thanks to my forceful pushing forward.
All that remains is to continue on this path.
I can’t see what lies ahead, but I just have to trust myself and take the first step.
In the past, I could not take that first step.
I was unable to fully believe in myself and kept cowering in place.
But if I keep doing that, I won’t be able to advance my relationship with … Shiho.
To break the past and the ties that bind.
Ryoma Ryuzaki had to have an awakening after all.
(Still … short.)
To awaken this guy, hardship is still not enough.
Ryoma Ryuzaki will show his true potential only when he is thoroughly pushed, inflicted with pain until he is on the verge of breaking, and pushed to the bottom of a cliff.
Because he is the protagonist.
That is my role this time.
I needed to stand in front of him as a “hardship” that would promote his awakening.
So, I continued to say more.
“Hand-me-down… huh. Yuzuki has never been my property.”
“Shut up. I don’t want to hear another word from you. … After all, you just want to feel superior, don’t you?　Not only did you take my childhood friend, but you gave me your own childhood friend as a hand-me-down… and by far, I’m ‘lower’ than you, is that what you’re trying to say?”
“… I guess nothing I say is going to work.”
Oh, it’s disgusting.
People suffering from a sense of inferiority complex and being sneaky are still irritating to watch.
I suddenly feel ashamed to think that I was once like that.
I don’t want to see Ryuzaki like this.
I’m sure Yuzuki and the others feel the same way.
(There is no point in leaving it as it is…)
Not enough suffering.
We need to drive Ryuzaki to the brink of extinction even more.
That’s why I dared to tell him.
“Well, you know what, if you’re shocked just by … Yuzuki, wouldn’t you be even more surprised to find out that Azusa is my stepsister and Kirari was my friend from middle school?”
And the relationships with Azusa and Kirari.
I tell him the fact that I have been keeping it a secret until now.
Then Ryuzaki bit his lip in frustration.
“So, then… you mean I’ve always been handed down from you? Do you mean to say that I’ve been enjoying the company of the girls that you’ve been messing around with?”
“I didn’t touch them. I spent time with them as a family and shared time with them as friends, but that’s it.”
“…That means you’ve got your hands on them, right?”
It seems that Ryuzaki no longer has enough time to accept my words.
He twisted the facts based only on his assumptions.
I have often interpreted the facts in a way that suited me.
This time, that assumption seems to be working against me and interpreted in a bad way.
guess Ryuzaki is a coward after all.
If he knew more about our relationships, he would realize that his interpretation is a misunderstanding, but since he doesn’t want to know more about …, he can’t understand that.
I’ve tried to explain it to him, but I can’t reach him now.
If so, that’s enough.
Until his awakening is accomplished, let him think whatever he wants.
The only thing I can do right now is to push Ryuzaki as hard as I can…