She had a fight with Ryuzaki. There was something unforgivable. Because of that, Yuzuki was hurt to the point of not being able to be normal.
I want to know how to save her from that.
As a childhood friend, I donāt think itās onlyā¦
Both Yuzuki and I have low self-esteem and can only confirm our own value by being recognized by others. As a kindred spirit, I see myself in her.
I wanted to see her saved.
Otherwise, I am afraid that I will become rotten like her.
This is not for Yuzukiās sake.
I want to save Yuzuki for my sake.
But what can I do to save her?
āYuzukiā¦ this is not right.ā
There is no clear answer.
Iām not sure how to play this kind of āroleā.
āI think itās strange that Yuzuki would go so crazy over something as trivial as āloveā.ā
I chose to play the role of a āhateful personā.
The same way, I scoffed at Kirari and urged her to get up the courage.
This time, too, I tried to regenerate Yuzukiās heart in the same way.
In the furnace of her heart, which was on the verge of dying out, she kindled the fire of anger. By doing so, Kirari stood up once again.
I decided on this option in the hope that Yuzuki would do the same.
āYou and Ryuzaki had a bit of a fight, didnāt you? Disagreements are nothing unusual. Itās normal, so why are you being so desperate? Your dirty clothes, your filthy living environment, ā¦ this kind of thing is not normal.ā
I wonder if this kind of thing could possibly be described as ārough treatmentā?
I know this is a terrible thing to say. Iām sure Yuzuki understands that I donāt need to tell her every little thing.
But I dared to put it into words because I wanted to shake Yuzukiās heart.
āā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā
But she said nothing.
She seemed to have heard me and was looking straight at me, but her ā¦ expression didnāt move the slightest bit.
I canāt tell if she is angry or sad.
Are the words still weak? If so,ā¦ Iām disheartened, but Iāll have to say something a little stronger.
āYou keep falling down, and your body is covered in scars, but ā¦ thatās like self-injury. Are you trying to say that your mind is hurting so much that you physically hurt yourself? Please donāt do that kind ofā¦ act. It makes me sick to look at you.ā
After saying that, I again looked for Yuzukiās reaction.
I wanted her to be angry.
I wanted her to slap me on the cheek like Kirari did.
āWhat do you know about me!?ā
I was waiting for those words.
I wanted her to show me that much passion.
āAhahaā¦ Certainly, yes.ā
But Yuzuki just smiled bitterly, as if she had given upā¦
āItās really strange to get so hurt over something as trivial as love. Moreover, itās not that we had a fight, ā¦ itās just that I was disappointed. Ryoma-san didnāt do anything wrongā¦ā
āNot true.
Such āaffirmationā was not what I was looking for.
But Yuzuki was still a very good listening girl.
For better or worse, she really is a āconvenientā girl for men.
She easily gives in, humbles herself, and reflects vehemently that she was wrong to be so lowly.
She expresses my superiority with her attitude, tickles my self-esteem, and encourages my pride.
Those are the things that are wrong.
Yuzukiā¦ We fail because we are always passive like that.
Why canāt you see that?
Why canāt I make you ā¦ aware of that?
āIām sorry I made you feel uncomfortable. When I saw Kotaro-sanās face, I felt nostalgic ā¦ and remembered memories of when my mother was alive a long time ago. Thatās why I called out to you.ā
āI couldnāt reach her.
My words and thoughts still donāt resonate with Yuzuki.
Itās not that I wanted words of apology.
I didnāt want her to care about me.
I wanted her to think more about herself since she was hurting so much.
But I guess Yuzuki canāt do that.
I know this because I am a coward just like her. The most difficult thing for people like us to do is to āprotectā ourselves.
Yuzuki is again despising herself.
And I canāt change her, can I?
After all, I canāt save Yuzuki.
Because I am not the protagonist.
For Yuzuki, Kotaro Nakayama is a childhood friend, but Iām is just a ā¦ āmob character.
There is only one person who can change herā¦ and save her.