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A Healthy Prayer
Kurumizawa-san was lying on the bed where I was supposed to sleep.
The bed was sinking under her weight, and my body was slightly tilted toward her. I was afraid that at any moment I might fall over too.
“…”
I dared to exert myself excessively and be conscious not to lose my posture.
Otherwise, I thought I was going to lay on top of her.
Under the current circumstances, it would not be surprising if that happened. It’s what’s called a ‘lucky play’.
Now that the god of romantic comedies is misbehaving, I must be on my utmost alert.
“Nakayama, you know…, this past week has been fun.”
Unlike me, who had no time to spare, Kurumizawa-san was calm.
It’s not normalcy or calm … no, it’s not. This feeling could be described as ‘preparedness’.
It felt like she was prepared.
It seemed to me that Kurumizawa-san was approaching this situation thinking that now was the last chance.
“Nakayama is not very good at getting to the point, but you study hard, and I admired that about you. I was so happy just watching you work so hard.”
As she laid there, she leaned over and looked at me.
“It was like a dream.”
One by one, she weaves her thoughts, punctuating each sentence.
It’s a monotonous line, as if she were reading straight from a book report. But the heat of the emotions that reside in those words is so great that they cannot be described as mechanical words, which is strange.
“So, thank you … first of all, can I say thank you? You made me so happy, you gave me so much joy.”
I don’t want to be thanked.
I didn’t do it for Kurumizawa-san’s sake.
I did it because it was the only thing I could do, because things had gone wrong and I had no choice but to do it.
But I guess she didn’t care about that.
Anyway, she was able to spend time with me – that alone made her happy.
It’s hard to believe, but apparently, she was “happy”.
“It breaks my heart to think that this time will never come again.”
Isn’t it … praying?
Kurumizawa-san said this in an attitude as if praying for something.
“So… I’d be happy to share a little … Nakayama love with me.”
At the last moment, she puts her heart and soul into it.
“I don’t care if I’m not the best. Second, third, it’s okay. Just a little piece of … Nakayama’s heart and let me be there.”
I couldn’t respond immediately to her words.
“…………”
I shut my mouth and gritted my teeth.
Oh, I knew it was true.
The affection that I had felt thinly, Kurumizawa-san’s love was distorted after all…
It is a pure, unadulterated, untainted feeling, but the direction of the thought is unusual.
Can she be second?
Is third okay?
That’s not right.
If you are not the first to be loved, then what is the point?
At least, in my favorite form of love, there is only one object of love.
But if there is only one form of love that … I detest, love can be ordered.
It’s what is called a ‘harem’.
Kururi Kurumizawa is trying to become a harem heroine herself.
That seems to be what love looks like to her.
It doesn’t matter what number you are. It doesn’t matter if the return on your love is not worth it. It doesn’t matter if your feelings are not reciprocated.
If she can be loved even a little bit, she will give her all.
I felt her determination and unconsciously held my chest.
Just like Azusa and Kirari in the past, I couldn’t watch the current Kurumizawa-san – I just couldn’t.