Kurumizawa-san released me sooner than I expected.
The embrace must have lasted only a few seconds. It was nice that she pulled away so quickly, but I didnāt feel so good with her fresh touch stuck to my back.
āIām just kidding, ā¦ donāt get too mad at me, okay?ā
I think itās unfair because I feel like Iām poor at being angry when people talk to me like theyāre trying to stir me up.
āā¦ Iām not good atā¦ this kind of thing.ā
It was a weak statement on my part.
I couldnāt control it now. If I put more emotion into it, I would have said things that I didnāt need to say.
For example, āDonāt touch me so casually.ā
I donāt like to use such strong words because I would definitely regret it.
It was the same just the other day. I was excessively cold to Kurumizawa-san and was tormented by regret and self-loathing afterward.
When I start to deny myself, itās not a good thing.
I know this, so I suppress my emotions. To grip my frustration and anger, I put the meat in front of me in my mouth.
āReally, itās deliciousā¦ā
Food is a stress reliever.
The tastier the food, the more fulfillment I felt.
Each time I chewed, my disgust and frustration were squashed.
Perhaps Kurumoizawa-san had calculated that much.
I wonder if it was my pride in my ability to control my emotions that made me more daring than usual.
āā¦Human beings are a mystery, arenāt they? No matter how hard things are for us, we feel refreshed after eating a good meal. Well, if we become dependent on food, we may end up overeating or even rejecting it, which is not a good thing.ā
Smiling elegantly, Kurumizawa-san sat down next to me.
There are plenty of seats available, but the fact that she went out of her way to sit next to me was a bit of a surprise.
āBy the way, this is a dish made with āfoie grasā. The name is ā¦ I wonderā¦ I canāt remember the name of French cuisine because it sounds like an incantation.ā
āOh, Iāve heard of itā¦, but Iāve never had it before.ā
āIt was a good experience, wasnāt it?ā
Sure, it might be a good experience.
Iām not that particular about food, and I donāt go out of my way to pay a lot of money to eat this kind of food.
Therefore, I probably wouldnāt have encountered this kind of taste if I had lived a normal life.
āI donāt know the exact amount either, but it sounds pretty priceyā¦ Well, I donāt think it hurts or bothers my father, and thereās no need for me to be reserved or concerned about itā¦ I just want you to understand that it is my presence that is giving it to you.ā
āā¦ So youāre saying you want me to forgive you for a little hug?ā
I think I understand what she is trying to say.
Looking into her eyes, reading her facial expressions, and unraveling the emotions in her words, I naturally understood Kurumizawa-sanās thoughts as wellā¦
āThatās the way it is. Nakayamaā¦ Iām not that greedyāŖā
Is it because my intentions were conveyed to her?
Kurumizawa-san was in a very good mood.
āI donāt even want to monopolize your love. I just want you to share some of that feeling ā¦ and in return, I will make you happy a lot. Iāll feed you as many delicious meals as you want, give you anything you want, and serve you in any way I can.ā
The pure, clear, and straightforward feelings were ā¦ conversely, scary.
āā¦ā
Is this really a spontaneous and āgenuineā feeling?
No, no.
The real thing is murkier. Various emotions are jostled, mixed, and stirred up, and that is why it is imbued with a unique color that cannot be imitated.
Like Shiho Shimotsuki, for example.
If the love was so violent that it wanted to destroy me, that it was not satisfied with mere affection, I would say it was very human.
But Kurumizawa-sanās affection was ā¦ too artificial.
Not a greedy person?
That is absurd. There is no such thing as a person who is not greedy.