(Epilogue) I Love You So Much I Want to Mess You Up
The end of October. It was the weekend, and Shiho and I visited a cell phone store in a shopping mall. The purpose, of course, was to buy a smartphone.
I had promised to buy it as soon as the festival was over, but the timing with my parents did not work out, so I was not able to buy it. Today, the timing was finally right and I was able to buy it successfully.
My aunt left quickly after signing the contract, but this is usual. She was so used to it that she basically did the bare minimum as a guardian.
Shiho was accompanying us, but she didnāt say anything after all, and she was still the same person.
Well, thatās beside the point.
Shiho, who was shy around my aunt and quiet until a while ago, suddenly became energetic.
āUfufuāŖ Iām so happy that Kotaro-kun finally got a smartphoneā¦, and itās the same model and color as mine, isnāt it wonderful? Itās like a dream⦠I finally accomplished number 63 on my list of things I want to do with my friends.ā
ā⦠Are you even keeping track of that list of accomplishments?ā
I have a feeling that the number is so huge that she probably doesnāt even keep track of it.
However, I donāt care if it makes her happy or not. Iāll stay with her until all the items on her to-do list are filled up.
āOh, Kotaro-kun. Can I borrow your phone? I want to be the first to register my contact information.ā
āAh, here you go.ā
I offered it to her honestly, since I still didnāt know how to use it well. Then she stood still and started playing around with it.
āThanks. All right, Iāll need an address, GPS, a logging app, andā¦ā
āJust the ⦠address, okay?ā
Iām afraid something extra is being done to me.
Well, I donāt care if Shiho does anything to me.
āā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā
Iām going to be silent for a while and wait until Shiho is satisfied.
The shopping mall where the cell phone store is located is crowded with people because it is a holiday. I think Iāll pull Shiho to the end of the aisle so she doesnāt get in the way of people passing by.
āShiho, come here?ā
I grab her hand lightly and pull her along.
As I do so, she leans her body against me, so I gently take her in. Both of her hands are blocked by the phone, so she would have fallen if I hadnāt supported her⦠This girl seems to trust me quite a bit.
As it was, I supported her as if I was hugging her from behind.
I was still thrilled to be in contact with her warm, soft, and nice smell ⦠I still couldnāt believe that I could be intimate with such an alluring girl.
I guess I must really love Shiho.
If I didnāt, I wouldnāt be so thrilled⦠Yeah, Iām growing up a little bit, too. Iām not an emotionless mob character.
So I suppose itās time to let it go.
āShiho⦠itās about time you heard me say āI love youā?ā
We are such close friends, but our relationship is still āfriendsā.
In the past, Shiho did not accept my confession of love, saying that it was not enough. It seems that my feelings of āI love youā at that time were too weak for Shiho.
But I have grown up a little.
I am not just a despicable person like I was then.
Iām not sure if I love myself or not, but ⦠at least the feeling of loving Shiho is real.
To be honest, I am embarrassed.
My desire to officially date Shiho was growing.
āCan you let me say, āI want to go out with youā?ā
So I gathered my courage and asked for her opinion.
But Shiho seems⦠to have a love far beyond my expectations, after all.
āā¦I want to mess up Kotaro-kun, you know.ā
āā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦Eh?ā
I was taken aback by this unexpected comment.
What does it mean? ⦠When I tilted my head, Shiho smiled and squeezed my hand.
āI want to mess you up. I want to be so ⦠loved by you, Kotaro-kun, so much ⦠that youāll break with just one word I say.ā
-In a way, it could be described as decadent.
Because, you donāt usually have the desire to destroy someone you love.
But she does. Thatās how much she loves me.
āKotaro-kun, you care about me, donāt you? So you donāt want to destroy me, right?ćThat makes me happy, though, doesnāt it? If you love me that much, Iām sure youāll break. My love is very heavy.ā
The desire to break it is there, but we donāt wish it to be broken.
So Shiho shook her head.
āWeāve reached a point where itās not so bad, but we shouldnāt be in such a hurry to ⦠get there, okay? Our life is long. Letās hold out a little longer, okay? At least until Kotaro-kun likes me enough to endure my affection⦠right?ā
Shiho is not fooled by temporary desires.
Shiho was looking far ahead.
āThatās how much I love you, Kotaro-kun. So, Iāll hold out until youāre strong enough not to break down ⦠a little more.ā
Even Shiho is patient.
Iām still immature, so sheās waiting for me to grow into that.
If thatās the case, I guess itās not the right⦠time yet.
āI see. Then wait a little longer. I am still making you wait.ā
āNo? I donāt dislike this frustrating relationship. Sometimes my desire gets out of control and I almost attack Kotaro-kun, but Iām not going to let that happen.ćBut I have to hold back because it would destroy the fragile Kotaro-kun.ā
ā⦠Hey, isnāt that a line from the guyās side of the argument? Shiho, you treat me like a little princess.ā
āIs it similar? Because you are my precious treasureāŖ.ā
We walked slowly, exchanging such words.
Our hands have been linked, all along.
ā¦As I said, the romantic comedy between me and Shiho is a bad one.
Itās hard to find a story that progresses so slowly.
(TLN: Yeah⦠yours is still only about 130 chapters⦠so no, itās not that hard to find one that is longer smh)
But thatās okay.
We donāt need dramatic drama in our romantic comedy.
We will be in a state of happiness for a long, long time.