I saw it. I saw it. I didnāt want to see it, but I saw it.
(Shihoā¦ should at least close the curtains properly.)
Itās usually closed properly. Even if I wanted to, I couldnāt see her face, but only today ā¦ it was open just a little bit.
Through the thinly opened gap, I could slightly see Shihoās room.
There was this guy there who I hated. And he was patting ā¦ Shihoās head.
(Why you ā¦ā¦! You donāt have anything, youāre inferior to me ā¦ā¦ why are you the one chosen by Shiho? Nakayama!)
I canāt see Nakayamaās face. But I could see Shihoās happy face.
She never made a face like that at me. I didnāt know she could smile like that.
(Why am I not there ā¦ā¦? Why is Nakayama there? I donāt know ā¦ā¦ am I that much of a lesser human being???)
No. I canāt stop being annoyed. I canāt stop being frustrated. But I canāt take my eyes off Shihoās room.
What are you two talking about? Hey, Nakayamaā¦ā¦, what are you saying to Shiho to trick her?
Iām curious. I donāt want to care, but I canāt help but care.
Thatās why I canāt help but look at it. Because of that, Iā¦ I witnessed the moment when Shiho pushed Nakayama down.
āā¦ā¦ā
I was speechless.
I couldnāt say anything and almost collapsed unexpectedly.
(My childhood friend is mine, and yet ā¦ā¦)
Even though we live so close to each other, so close that we can go back and forth to ā¦ our rooms whenever we want to!
We were born in the same hospital, grew up in the same kindergarten, attended the same preschool, studied in the same elementary school, went to the same middle school, and entered the same high school!
(Why wasnāt it me? ā¦)
I still havenāt healed from the wounds of my first love.
Iāve been chasing Shiho for a long time.
I want to be recognized by her.
I want to repay Nakayama for taking Shiho away from me.
Otherwiseā¦, I was not going to be able to recover myself.
Shall I just collapse? As a loser who was robbed of a childhood friend, will I never be able to fall in love again in the future? ā¦ā¦ I didnāt think it would drag on this long even though I was only dumped by one girlā¦
Itās regrettable. Just so frustrating.
But I didnāt know what to do, so I ā¦ā¦ was about to give up on everything right then and there ā¦ā¦. that moment.
āHey, RyomaāŖ! Dinnertime pizza and a coke! Even if I canāt cook, I can do anything if I have enough money!ā
Mary came to my room.
I remember she said something like, āWait in your room while I prepare dinner for you tonight.ā I had forgotten all about that because I was looking at Shihoās roomā¦
āRyoma? Whatās wrong? You look so gloomy!ā
āā¦Itās nothing.ā
āReally? Then, itās nothing!ā
Mary laughed.
She tapped me on the shoulder with a bright smile on her face, just as she always does.
āRyoma? Iām on your side no matter what, okay? I will be there for you when you have a hard time. Iāll be there for you until you get better. So ā¦ā¦ donāt be too hard on yourself, okay?ā
ā¦Maybe Mary is aware of my change of heart.
Yet, she is there for me without saying a word. Without doing anything unnecessary, she just stood by me.
Thanks to her, I somehow managed not to fall apart.
I no longer have a childhood friend, but instead I have Mary. A girl who is just as pretty as Shiho, can do everything better than Shiho, and comes from a better family, but she cares about me so much.
I am happy to know that, perhaps even more than Nakayama.
āIām so grateful to Mary. Mary has really lifted my spirits.ā
Iām not very sensitive about love.
But I know how Mary feels about ā¦ā¦ me.
I understand that she likes me somehow.
Then thatās all right.
If not Shiho, then if Mary is next to me, thatās fine.
If thatās the case,ā¦ itās time for me to make up my mind.
(Okayā¦, Iāll confess my feelings after the school festival.)
Iām going to make Mary my girlfriend.
Then I will finally ā¦ be able to stop feeling inferior to Nakayama.