Jaeyoung returned to the tent and packed up his belongings. He took some group photos and headed to the car after saying goodbye to his hoobaes.
âWhy am I acting like somethingâs disappointed me?â
He stood in front of the parking lot and smoked three cigarettes in a row.
Who the hell was Chu Sangwoo anyway? He had followed that bastard around and harassed him, ripped his own laptop apart in order to get a favor from him, become a slave and worked day and night, kept track of him like a stalker, and even gone out to entertainment events he had no interest in.
âI was doomed from the day I left my house wearing a red padded jacket, a red jersey, a red beanie, and red underwear. Itâs a fucking mess.â
Whatâs disappointing? Everything was disappointing. Back then, it was disappointing that Chu Sangwoo didnât know about his existence or his name. After a while, it was disappointing how that guy didnât get how cool he was. Now, it was disappointing that he didnât regard him as a romantic partner.
He put the cigarette out. When he looked up at the black sky, he sighed involuntarily. He couldnât come up with an answer even if he were to ruminate forever over what he was so obsessed with when they werenât even in a position to be dating, and why he was wasting his energy.
Jaeyoung put aside the half-stubbed out cigarette butt and opened the car door. As soon as he pushed himself into the car, he was mortally wounded.
ââŚâ
Sangwoo was sleeping with his head lying against the door. Because of that, Jaeyoungâs weakness (to be honest, it would have been the case even if it werenât for this), that guyâs long white neck, was exposed to the front of his field of view. His fist was clenched and he was out of breath. He had an idea in his head that Sangwoo could sue him if he were caught, but he still closed his eyes and chose to breathe. Thatâs because no matter how urgent it was, he wasnât a barbaric beast who would attack a drunk and sleeping kid.
âLetâs get it together.â
When he opened his eyes again, he had calmed down a bit. Jaeyoung took a deep breath and looked at Sangwoo again. He extended his hand and thought of an excuse.
âIâm just going to fasten his seatbelt. I donât have an ulterior motive.â
He approached Sangwoo, extended his arms, grabbed the seatbelt, and pulled it all the way down. Sangwooâs hand was right next to the red button. His fingernails were cut short, as if he had just trimmed them the day before, and his bones were prominent.
Click.
He fastened the seatbelt and raised his upper body turning his head on purpose. The slightly open mouth was 10cm away. Since when had the smell of alcohol been so erotic? He got dizzy. He licked the white neck with his eyes and returned to his seat very slowly. He had gotten exhausted from fastening a seatbelt.
Jaeyoung took a deep breath and started the engine. As soon as he had gotten seated, he hadnât known how to calm down the state of his goods that were ready to go. He suspected he was wearing a spring on his groin these fucking days. It seemed like all objects in the world were either male or female, so he always felt as if he had reverted back to his middle school days when he had first opened his eyes to sex.
He stepped on the accelerator without looking to his right. He didnât know what was going to happen, so he headed towards Sangwooâs house, which was nearby. He randomly parked his car in front of the studio building that had no parking spots and turned off the engine.
âChu Sangwoo, get up.â
âItâs time to have sex, you trashy bastard.â
He skipped the last part. He sat still for a few seconds while calming down and then loosened his seatbelt in a calm state. He took a deep breath and turned to his side.
ââŚâ
That neck was once again the problem. Jaeyoung squinted and shook Sangwooâs shoulders, but he didnât wake up.
âThe belt⌠Iâll unfasten it.â He muttered as his conscience was pricked, but for no reason, because his opponent couldnât even hear him. He then wrapped his right arm around his back. His left hand extended all the way to grab the door handle. He needlessly pushed his chest forward. His nose was about to touch Sangwooâs cheek.
In the darkness, his luminous skin looked pale under the moonlight. Things were just as if they were in a black-and-white movie with everything being monochromatic. Jaeyoung removed his cap and threw it onto the back seat, because he had the urge to see Sangwooâs face.
The contrasting picture made his heart pound. From the shapes of the shadows his nose, eyelashes, and lips created, to the dark pattern of the window projected onto his cheeks, everything made Sangwoo the main character. Jaeyoung felt guilty as he smacked his lips, because his sleeping face looked a lot more innocent than when he had his eyes open.