CH 7.5

“But can’t I do that? Everyone calls you that.”

Sangwoo looked at him with defiant eyes as he raised his head again. Jaeyoung threw his cigarette to the ground and stomped it with his foot while pretending he was fine, but his palms were sweaty and his heart was pounding.

“No. You can’t.”

‘My heart can’t handle it, you bastard.’

“Got it.”

An awkward silence followed. Sangwoo pouted while staring at the wall. If he seemed cute to him even in a situation like this, it really wasn’t normal. Jaeyoung fixed his gaze on the ground and reconsidered why Sangwoo might have come to find him again.

‘I guess he needs me.’

He envisioned Chu Sangwoo to be like a teacher or better yet, a computer with a highly-efficient processing system. Using this analogy, Sangwoo could easily ignore superfluous data, like having a huge fight with someone and collaborate with them all for the sake of successfully running his program to completion. So on that level, you could say that Sangwoo doesn’t hold any grudges. However, Jaeyoung, who was only human, didn’t have the confidence that he could create a game with Chu Sangwoo.

His pride had been so hurt it was as if his very flesh had been wounded and infected so that it started to seethe with maggots. It didn’t matter how much Sangwoo had corrected his way of speaking to him. It didn’t matter that he had acted as if he had no part in avoiding and ignoring Jaeyoung, because Jaeyoung had already been dealt a fatal blow.

In addition to not ‘crossing the line’ with Sangwoo over these past two weeks, Jaeyoung had kept his emotions and sometimes guilty and dirty desires in check. Jaeyoung didn’t want to prolong such a thing. That’s why he needed to reject his offer, but…

“Are you confident that you can finish it within this semester?”

It was the first time Chu Sangwoo had asked for a favor. For that reason, Jaeyoung couldn’t immediately refuse him. Had he already forgotten about being humiliated by Sangwoo every time? What a pathetic reason for him to accept, just because Sangwoo had come to find him first. Jaeyoung didn’t understand himself.

On the other hand, however, it was extremely touching that a robot who only knew how to slap someone’s cheek, came to talk to him one day. Thinking about it, Jaeyoung thought that he deserved to be nominated for the next Nobel Peace Prize.

“I know that you’re planning to study abroad. Just give me four months until vacation. I’ll finish it no matter what.”

“That development period is too short, though. You have to study at the same time as well.”

“I’ll reduce the amount of hard coding and actively use game engines. I only take a few classes anyway.”

Where did the direct driving force, shamelessness, and dependence come from? Sangwoo didn’t seem to have any worries whatsoever. He spoke in a way as if determined to attempt the impossible, while still pointing out the hard truth that things still wouldn’t be easy. Jaeyoung seemed to have already fallen for that tactless proposal.

He thought about his duty as a sunbae, guilt, greed for his portfolio, and his anticipation of working with a skilled developer. He didn’t need all of that, he just needed a reason to keep seeing Chu Sangwoo.

“O…kay. Got it.”

Jaeyoung regretted it as soon as he uttered his acceptance. He had done something without any countermeasure.

Sangwoo nodded as he had been waiting for those words. He couldn’t see it properly, but it even seemed like he smiled a little.

“I’ll be in touch, hyung.”

The confident expression on his face and his tone of voice made him seem like the protagonist of a movie. Jaeyoung only looked at his figure from the back while standing as still as a statue. He kept getting goosebumps on his arms. It was really hard to believe. He was lucky that it was dark, because he felt terrified of how Sangwoo would’ve reacted in broad daylight. Something stuck out from beneath his black apron, so even if someone were similar to a machine with AI, they would understand what that meant.

‘Hearing Chu Sangwoo calling me ‘hyung’ is something I got twisted, right?’

Everything turned blue in front of his eyes.

‘I’m going crazy. Fu…ck.’

He felt as though his computer had frozen, displaying the dreaded blue screen of death, while he was in the middle of working on a design.

Jang Jaeyoung – broken.