The moment he saw Sangwoo change his clothes from behind, he had realized that he was doomed. When nobody was around and was watching, he observed him walking down the hallway with perfect posture. Jaeyoungâs heart fluttered.
He was dressed in a worn out-looking collared navy shirt , black slacks cuffed at the ankles, and that black ball cap that should be burned.
Just by looking at the description, there was nothing to be excited about, but it really did make his heart flutter. Jaeyoung felt embarrassed envisioning himself as the main character of a romantic movie despite wearing a bald wig with pigtails.
Things had blown up after they had successfully finished their skit, so he had thought that Sangwoo would have opened up to him a little bit. He wanted to be near him, so he had asked him to go watch a movie only to be brutally rejected. As Sangwoo had guessed, Jaeyoung didnât have any intention of harassing or hurting him. He just wanted to watch Sangwooâs profile in the darkness of a movie theater, imagining his emotionless expression as he looked at the screen. He honestly thought that Sangwoo would allow that much, which is why he had confidently asked him to watch a movie with him. But, how much had he really invested in this?
Why would guys go watch a movie together?, he had asked. Being near each other is exhausting. His words made sense. Even if heâd often wanted to hit Sangwoo for being so rude, he had never heard him say anything wrong. Jaeyoung had laughed off being repeatedly rejected, but he just couldnât do so at that time. He made such a big effort, but he still hadnât been able to convince him. He had just flipped out instead.
Jaeyoung had started arguing with him on the spot thereby ruining the carefully-constructed facade of a good sunbae. He was so good at acting that anyone who met him would regard him as an angel but merely whispering in front of Chu Sangwoo wasnât easy for him.
He went back home and mulled it over. He had two pleasing thoughts that were confronting each other. On the one hand, he thought âfucker, he said that he hates it that much, so I need to back off.â On the other hand, he also thought âstill, I want to end our acquaintance on good terms.â
In the battle between the devil and the angel, the devil ultimately won.
âStill, ending it this way isnât the case.â
It was a devil who hid his dark desires to see Chu Sangwooâs face just once more.
The following day, right before the âEmbedded Systemsâ class, Jaeyoung had imagined himself walking away from Sangwooâs classroom with his typical swagger, seemingly aloof and just shrugging things off as if they didnât matter.He thought that he could build his confidence by imagining something like that, even if he was actually nervous inside. However, no matter how long he waited, Sangwoo didnât show up for class.
That bastard Chu Sangwoo was probably the most obsessed student with attending classes at Hanguk University. Sangwoo not attending class was beyond his wildest expectations, which is why he felt such intense betrayal when he actually didnât appear. Did he hate the idea to that extent? It wasnât as if he meant for them to hold hands. He just wanted them to watch a movie together. Jaeyoung, whose pride had been crushed, ran all the way to Sangwooâs place and acted nastily and cursed at him.
Ultimately, Jaeyoung hadnât been able to be a good sunbae to Chu Sangwoo. This was just like that first face-to-face encounter, when he had told Sangwoo that they shouldnât ever run into each other again. Browbeating him had been the only way to hide his disappointment and hurt pride. He stopped trying to be a good sunbae and completely gave up on Sangwoo.
Since then, Jaeyoung hadnât taken a single step onto campus apart from on Wednesdays, when he went to the âHanguk University Student Personality Educationâ class, which were words he didnât even want to say. Even on the days he had class, he avoided the routes Sangwoo usually took.
Two Wednesdays passed between drinking all night, playing pool, bowling, going to clubs, gaming, and taking female friends he had casual relationships with to the movies. He looked at the selfies the two of them had taken together for about 15 times, but he thought that at the rate he was going, he could probably get rid of the uncomfortable feelings associated with Sangwoo. He just had to keep going. If only Sangwoo hadnât reappeared at the restaurant where he works.