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“What are you talking about!”
“Just
 Just thank you for not giving up and living.”
“
Who wants to hear that?”
“Yes. I wanted to hear that.”
Perhaps it was an unexpected remark, but my brother, who had been huffing until now, only twitched his lips. It was very strange. We met for the first time today, but I felt my brother’s feelings as if I had known him for a long time.
He wants to hate me but he can’t.
“I wanted to hear it a lot, so thank you for living. You held out well.”
“Hypocrite.”
“You can call me a hypocrite.”
I strode up to my brother and stroked his head.
The disheveled hair moved in chunks, but it was still good.
“Don’t!”
“If you don’t want me to, will you listen? I didn’t even know I had an older brother.”
He wasn’t talking to give answers. I just brought it up because there was one more person in the world who could understand me.”
“
What? You must have lived well!”
“You can’t believe it, but
 you know, Brother, I’ve died a couple of times.”
“You’re telling a story. It must have been a dream!”
I smiled at my brother, who didn’t trust me.
“Maybe it is a dream, but I’ve died many times. One time, I lived up to nine years old. Another time, I died faster. The emperor of this country made me that way.”
Contrary to the expectation that he would refute anything this time too, my brother looked at me with a much calmer expression than before.
“It sounds very absurd
 Heh
 Actually, I felt like a kid
 Maybe the dream felt real. But Brother, I was really sad.”
“
Hey.”
“I
 didn’t even know I had an older brother. It was only my mom in the world. The one you saw earlier. I lived my life thinking that she’s my mother, and she would continue being my mother. She protected me. Every time the Emperor hit me and abused me, my mom protected me.”
I thought I couldn’t tell anyone because they’re words no one would believe.
However, my brother was born at the same time as me and lived at a different time, but had the same expression and heart, words came out strangely yet fluently.
“I
 I guess I had a really hard time.”
He must have wanted to tell anyone because he was tired. I couldn’t even tell my mom my story.
“Why are you crying?”
My brother, who listened to me, put his hand on my head.
His rough hand, which ruffled my hair, was friendly, and tears dripped thanks to it.
“I’m not crying. I’m just
 just
 I had a hard time
 You know, so my mom
 she died. My mom died again and again. No matter how hard I tried to save her
 I couldn’t save her. I wanted to give up
 but I couldn’t.”
“
”
“I just
 I just want to live with my mom
 but it was very hard.”
What I wanted wasn’t even big; living like others, wearing nice clothes and eating good food. All I wanted was to be with my mother, yet it was so hard.
“
Is that so?”
“Yeah, and
 my mom died and I died. Then, time went back
 not long before she died, it kept doing that. But now I finally saved my mother.”
But even though I saved her, she was not happy at all. I already heard that she could die because of her body.
The thought of losing my mom made me cry. Even though I tried to hold back tears, tears continued to flow. When I dropped my head to the floor without making a sound, my brother held me in his arms.
“
You dummy.”
“
”
“You did it. So why are you crying?”
“I mean
 this is
”
I felt strange. My mom once hugged me, and others once hugged me, but my brother’s hug made my chest feel ticklish.
“You did a great job. You lived a good life. Thank you for not giving up and living
 Sister.”
Tears shed even more because my brother told me what I wanted to hear.
The tears that I held back finally broke out. My brother, whose edges of his lips twitched slightly as if he had noticed what I wanted to hear, was friendly and had a soft touch.
Not even a tic in his voice.
“Why are you crying like that?”
“I’m
 I’m
 Aren’t I bad
 I tried to save my mom.”