It was right after the afternoon classes which focused on simple learning, and a sense of lazy release filled the air.
âKagami.â
To pass the time, I had slowly and deliberately packed up my things, pointlessly gone to the bathroom to check my face in the emirror and to wash my hands, and in general just stood idly around.
But the person I was waiting for â Kagami â showed absolutely no signs of wanting to go home. In fact, she was sprawled out on her desk and in a death-like sleep, so I finally decided to gather up my courage and walk up to her.
I wish she wouldâve gone home right after class. Then I couldâve just used the excuse âAhh, itâd be wrong of me to bother her when sheâs in such a hurry, so Iâll wait until tomorrow to talk with her.â
How inconsiderate of her, ugh.
âKagami, Kagami.â
ââŠâŠ?â
I shook her by the shoulders as she slept there like a doll, and she finally lifted her head up and looked at me suspiciously.
She looked horribly sleepy⊠although she always looked like that.
âFunyaa. What is it, Sasami-san? I was quite happily sleeping just a minute ago.â
âAh, sorry sorry. I had something to ask you.â
Considering my communication skills were a bit lacking, I tended to cower whenever somebody gave me a scary look.
âBy the way, why exactly is Kagami sleeping all the time? Arenât you sleeping at home? Or maybe thereâs too much going on at home for you to sleep?â
âAt home? I do sleep at home.â
Ugh, wake up, dammit.
âDid you interrupt my sleep just to ask me that?â
Kagami continued to grumble about being sleepy, but at least sat up enough that she could properly listen to me.
âYou do realize that Iâm also busy, yes? If this is something trivial then Iâll get angry.â
Busy people donât sleep that much.
âUmm, well⊠uhh, itâs not that big of a deal, butâŠâ
I twiddled my fingers as I began to speak. Geez, even for me, that sounded really timid.
My face blushed bright red as Kagami just looked more and more suspicious.
âWellâŠâ
I blurted it out to the world.
â
âPlease become my friend!â
â
âŠâŠâŠ
ââŠâŠâŠâ
A hellish silence filled the room.
Kagami looked at me with tremendously doubtful eyes, like I was really an alien in disguise or something. After that, she took a really fancy-looking pillow out from her desk drawer and buried her face in it.
Once I saw that she had begun to lightly snore again, I desperately grabbed and pulled her ear.
âDonât sleep! Please donât! Just listen to me! Iâm being serious here!â
âFunyaa⊠I can feel some intense negativity in the air⊠just let me sleep⊠I donât want to get involved with this at all.â
Kagami seemed like she couldnât be bothered to help. I began to get desperate, tears forming in my eyes.
Well, Iâve come this far already. Might as well go all the way. Iâll explain everything to her!
âThink about it! I started school in February, which is a really random time, right?! And on top of that, not only is it pretty sketchy that Iâm the homeroom teacherâs sister, but that idiot oniichan of mine introduced me on the first day with âSasami-san was always a hikikomori⊠sheâs a very sad, sad girlâ and now everyoneâs totally avoiding me!â
Everything was my brotherâs fault.
âItâs not like theyâre bullying me⊠itâs more like everyoneâs being way too considerate. They treat me like Iâm some kind of tumor or something⊠just standing far off to the side and watching me from there⊠and everyone uses formal Japanese when they talk to me! I canât make friends like this! People answer me when I talk to them, but itâs like I canât do anything but make small talk⊠everyoneâs just way too nice! Itâs unnatural!â
I knew I was being selfish, but I couldnât take this anymore!
I wasnât some poor little girl everyone had to watch out for!
âI-I want to have a normal school life! Iâve always wanted something like that⊠to make friends, to join a club after school⊠to laugh and cry⊠you get it?! But everyone just acts so distant from me⊠so the dream is still way too much of a dream!â
I mean, today the only conversation I had outside of class was with a class representative. âUmm, Iâve filled out this careers questionnaire⊠i-is this okay?â (I was trying my very best to get her to talk to me here) âAh, yes. Thank you very muchâ (Two seconds, conversation over). That was it!
Itâs not like I was some frightened bunny or something, but I was seriously about to die from loneliness here!
âSighâŠâ
Kagami looked at me through sleepy, half-lidded eyes, and cocked her head slightly to the side.
âWell, I understand what youâre saying, and I can sympathize⊠however, I still do not know why you are asking me to be your friend.â
Kagami sounded as indifferent as ever.
âEveryone still just doesnât know how to talk with Sasami-san, I think. If you continue to try to talk with everyone, then itâs only a matter of time before you make friends.â
âI donât have that much time! Itâs already March, you know! I only have around a month left of my first year!â
It was probably some alteration (my desire to not be held back a year probably warped the world in some way), but it seemed Iâd at least be able to advance a year next semester.
I wasnât quite sure, but I think you changed classes when you got to your second year. But rather than starting from zero, wouldnât it be better to already be close to a few people and then use that chance to expand your circle of friends?
It was absolutely necessary for me to make friends. For the sake of my happy school life.
But if I stumbled and messed up from square one, then Iâd be alone until I graduated.
I really didnât want that.
âAnyways, for now, people are taking pity on me or something, so no matter how much time passes I donât think I can break the ice with people⊠so first, Iâll become friends with someone like Kagami or whatever and we can laugh and talk together! Not only would it be practice for being a normal high schooler, but everyone will think Iâm a cheerful girl who smiles a lot and theyâll stop being afraid to talk to me!â
âNot only is that roundabout, but I noticed you referred to me as âKagami or whateverââŠâ
Kagami did not look very agreeable right now, but I gripped her hand in mine with tears leaking from my eyes.
âItâs fine if itâs all just an act, but please just be my friend! Iâm begging you! I donât want to eat alone at lunch anymore! When we pair up in English and gym, I donât want my partner to look at me anymore and go âU-Umm, Tsukuyomi-san, n-nice to meet youâŠâ like theyâre going to hurt me by breathing on me or something!â
Having no friends made it hard to breathe⊠to the point where I almost didnât want to come to school anymore.
âI want to sell myself as someone bright and cheerful from now on! I donât want to be the center of attention, but I just want to be a super normal high school girl whoâs leading a normal but fun high school life!â
Yes, this was the first step to that goal.
I would live a happy, completely normal life.
âBut I really donât know what to do⊠I havenât had a single friend before today either! So I want to make this kind of a rehearsal with Kagami, and learn how to be ânormalâ! Kagami knows about my life, and I wonât cause too much trouble, so I think itâll be a good chance to practice! Youâll be like a loaner friend before I get a real one!â
âAre you aware of whatâs coming out of your mouth right now? To hear a human say thatâŠâ
Kagami let out a deep sigh and gloomily brushed my hand off.
âWell, I suppose school is a place for people to learn how to function in groups. I might be an adult who can accomplish everything perfectly fine by myself, but for an immature child like Sasami-san, being alone may very well be difficult.â
Was she trying to pick a fight with me?
âNeesan also gave me strict orders to keep watch over you since Iâm in the same class, so I suppose if we become âfriends,â then we can do things together and thatâs convenient for me as well.â
Kagami then puzzled for a bit.
âYou still have the power of the Supreme God, right? If you wanted to, you could just alter the hearts of everyone around you and make them into your friends. Would that not be much simpler than going through the pain of trying and failing to talk with them?â
âYeah, but I canât do that.â
Although, that was pretty tempting. I was lazy at heart, after all.
But the power of the Supreme God was not âmyself.â
It was something forced into me at the Tsukuyomi Shrine⊠at that awful place.
The Tsukuyomi miko was entrusted with these powers, and it was her duty and right to use them.
But I had chosen the path of laziness, and so the normal Tsukuyomi Sasami could not use these powers for her own convenience.
âI have to grow myself, or nothing will have changed.â
ââŠâŠâ
Kagami just gave me a blank stare. As usual, I had no idea what this girl could be thinking.
âFunyaa.â
She finally let out a yawn, and buried her head again in her pillow.
âWell, I understand⊠letâs just make the best of it then. I look forward to our friendship, Sasami-san. And you should be considerate of your new friendâs feelings⊠and let her sleep.â
âO-Okay! Ehehe⊠weâre friends, got it! Good night!â
âSo loud. Be quiet.â
âOkay! Ehehe~~âŠâ
And thus,
On that day, I made my first friend.
It was the next day.
Our lunch break had begun⊠the laughing voices of students with empty stomachs who had finished a hard morningâs worth of work filled the classroom air.
âKagami, Kagami.â
By the time I saw Kagami, she was already asleep. I just waited for the right time before speaking up.
I watched Kagamiâs completely unremarkable black hair wave back and forth, while trying to send out a âHey! Look at how cheerful I am! Iâm not a gloomy girl with a dark past at all!â aura all around the classroom.
Kagami looked annoyed as she lifted her head, and stared at me as I almost jumped up and down with excitement.
âAhh⊠right, we were âfriends,â was it? What an unnecessarily heavy burden this has turned out to be⊠lunch, did you say?â
Kagami words were devoid of almost any sense of friendship. She blinked a few times.
âTo be honest, I can sustain my bodily functions without eating. So I would prefer to take lunch break as an opportunity to have a nice nap without anybody getting angry at me.â
Now that I thought about it, Kagami was kind of a spiritual robot or something like that, right?
âUmm, Sasami-san brought lunch from home, right? Iâm going to sleep⊠so just please go ahead and eat. Here, you can push our desks up to each other and we can sit on opposite sides and face each other⊠itâll be like the real thing.â
âOne person eating and the other person is already asleep⊠that just sounds lonelyâŠâ
But hah.
I had expected Kagami to give me this kind of response.
âI didnât bring any lunch today. Thereâs a cafeteria at this school, right? Letâs go together. Itâs not like Kagami canât eat anything, right? Letâs go eat together~~.â
âUwah youâre so anno-⊠ah, letâs go together then. Weâre friends, after all.â
I get the feeling she had started to say something really mean thereâŠ
We got up and went out of the together, side by side.
Our school was pretty old, but it was built during good times, so the building itself was really beautiful.
The design was a bit old-fashioned, but there was plenty of light flowing in, and it was a comfortable place to be.
The first year, right-hand-side classroom and the cafeteria were both on the first floor, so they were pretty close together.
However, Kagami still swayed back and forth as she walked, seeming to have a hard time walking even that far.
âJust thinking that Iâll have to go to the cafeteria every day is making me nauseousâŠâ
âIn that case, what if I go and buy some sandwiches every day instead? Iâll buy Kagamiâs portion too, of course! Or maybe I should bring lunch from home? Iâll make oniichan make some for Kagami too!â
âYou sure donât mind working sensei hard, Sasami-san⊠ahh, that strangely fancy-looking lunch that Sasami-san brings every day was made by sensei, wasnât itâŠ? Sensei might have a servant mentality, but if you exploit him too much someday his love for you might run out, you know? Heâll start to dislike you, you know?â
âAhaha, thereâs no way oniichan would ever not like me.â
âBut, making your biological older brother prepare lunch for you everyday isnât really normal, is it? Werenât you the one who wanted to live a normal life?â
Ouch. She hit a sore spot there.
âHow about picking up after yourself once in a while? I can teach you how to cook, if you want⊠donât always be a burden, and maybe even make sensei lunch sometimes. Iâm sure that will make him happy.â
âEh? Kagami can cook?â
âIâm in charge of all the housework in our house.â
âAhh, I guess I canât really see Tama or Tsurugi doing housework⊠but, thatâs pretty amazing. Really have to respect you here. Laundry, cleaning the house⊠Iâve always depended on other people to do those things. I canât do any of that myself. Canât do any of those ordinary thingsâŠâ
âI was like that in the past too.â
Kagami still looked pretty detached, but I couldâve sworn I saw just a faint trace of emotion in her eyes.
âI was a doll. Just a doll without a will of her own. And I was used like that⊠to efficiently exterminate irregularities. I was nothing more than a tool used for the purpose of humanity and the world. â
Kagami was a lump cut off from the Supreme God, and had been taken in by an evil human organization.
She was a spiritual weapon.
Now that I thought about it, Kagami wasnât unlike me. After all, I had been raised for the sole purpose of being the Tsukuyomi miko and making the world a better place for humans.
âBut, neesan took me in⊠and I began a life that was so busy that I couldnât even find the time to be bored anymore. In the midst of that, I discovered my own emerging humanity. It still is far from perfect, but for the first time inside of me, I found emotions and a heart. I was so happy⊠it was almost like a miracle. A simple doll like me had found happiness.â
Kagami smiled, and I noticed how pretty she looked when she did that.
It was the beauty of a doll that had been painstakingly crafted.
Or no, it was the beauty of a girl who had struggled with all her might every day to survive.
âIâm sure Sasami-san is the same. After all, sheâs been blessed with much more than I have been. Youâre a human overflowing with emotions, and youâre trying hard to improve yourself. Your happiness⊠your salvation⊠it will naturally come. And in the near future.â
At that point, Kagami coughed, and awkwardly turned away from me.
âThat was quite out-of-character for me⊠my tongue must be rotting. I want to vomit.â
Wow, way to ruin the moment.
âIs this the cafeteria?â
We found ourselves arriving at our destination as we talked.
I was surprised how much time could fly when you werenât alone.
The Konohana Sakuya Academy cafeteria felt like a modern eating hall and was quite stylishly designed.
A bunch of seats were lined up in a row.
The menu was written in classy cursive.
We could see the neatly-trimmed garden outside the huge windows, and also the cheerful faces of a lot of students in their reddish-pink school uniforms.
âUmm⊠what should we do?â
âYou buy a food ticket from this vending machine here, and hand it to that woman over there.â
Kagami didnât hesitate at all as she led me around. Had she eaten in the cafeteria before?
I nonchalantly followed after here, when I suddenly realized something.
There was a wall of people in the middle of the cafeteria, and I could hear a ruckus coming from over there.
âCome on, come on!â âUgh, my little Cosmo (i.e. stomach)âŠ!â âDonât lose! This isnât happening! You canât let this happen!â âItâs ten against one⊠why canât we win?! Is our schoolâs chibi teacher a complete monsterâŠ?!â âN-No moreâŠ!â It was a bunch of teachers.
It looked like they were having an eating contest.
Gulp gulp gulp.
Tsurugi was at the center of it all, scarfing down her beef rice bowl like it was water.
âFwahh~~! Old woman, I need more over here!â
Tsurugi was ecstatic, a few grains of rice still stuck to her cheek.
There were an uncountable number of bowls heaped up in front of her, hiding the aftermath of what was a fierce battle.
Heaps of groaning teachers with their full bellies exposed to open air were crumbled next to her, while my brother was tearing into a beef rice bowl while using the bowl to hide his face.
But, no matter how weird he was, my brother was still a normal human and had a stomach with a finite volume, and he soon flopped down onto the floor, face up. The bowl was still stuck to his face.
âAhh, Tsukuyomi sunk!â âY-You idiot! Tsurugi-chan promised to kiss us on the cheek if we won!â âFufu⊠you fools⊠everything will be mine!â âAgh! The bowls that Tsurugi-sensei finished with! You want to go for an indirect kiss, donât you?!â âYou bastard! Do you intend to violate the Tsurugi Love Alliance Treaty?!â âChibi-senseiâs saliva would be wasted on you lot! Give it to me!â âI donât like to fight. I just like to win!!â The teachers began another ugly battle over the bowls.
âAhh, Iâm so full.â
Tsurugi ignored the chaos developing around her and just picked her teeth with a toothpick like some middle-aged man.
Kagami and I just stood there, watching with sad, sad eyes as our schoolâs fun-loving teachers screwed around as usual. Tsurugi finally seemed to notice us, and happily raised her hand in greeting.
âFufufufu! My my, isnât this an odd pair to behold! You guys eating in the cafeteria today too? Let your sister treat you! All the other teachers promised to pay for my meals from now on if I won this eating conte-â
Tsurugi was happily going on and on, but then her eyes widened.
âKagami, watch out! Behind you!â
But the very split second before Tsurugi could finish that sentenceâŠ
A young-looking cafeteria employee (the one Tsurugi had nevertheless been calling âold womanâ) came over carrying the extra helping of food that Tsurugi had asked for. But she suddenly seemed to trip on pure air.
It was unnatural.
It was almost like something had pulled her leg from under herâŠ
âUhyah?!â
The old woman let out a scream, while the tray she was holding, as well as the beef rice bowl, miso soup, and pickled vegetables on top of it went flying into the air.
Swwshhh.
And of all places, everything poured right onto Kagami.
ââŠâŠâ
Kagamiâs face and uniform were completely soiled by the beef, rice, raw egg, and all the other food. She fell as silent as a ghost, and turned to look at the old lady who was pale and shaking on the floor.
âU-Umm⊠s-sorryâŠâ
The old lady was cowering, but itâs not like she had any ill intent, so Kagami let out a sigh.
âNo need to apologize. It was an accident⊠please excuse me Sasami-san, but I have to go wash this uniform and change into my jersey⊠please eat lunch by yourself.â
After leaving off with that, Kagami walked off in her usual indifferent way, devoid of even the faintest traces of emotion.
ââŠâŠâ
Tsurugi watched her little sister, a rare look of grimness in her eyes.
Â
TRANSLATORâS NOTES
(1) A sacred mirror in Japanese folklore. The same mirror used to lure Amaterasu (in this series, Tsurugi) out of hiding from her cave.\n