A lot of things happened, and I finally started going to school after having been confined to my room as a hikikomori (2) for a long time. But itās not like I could just adapt to normal society that easily, and just going to class and returning home took everything out of me. At the end of the day I was always reduced to a state of semi-unconsciousness, teetering back and forth in exhaustion.
āIā¦ just canātā¦ try hard anymoreā¦ā
Today was especially bad, and a heavy weariness filled every corner of my body. I didnāt even want to try to remember what had gotten me so tired.
I couldnāt even muster up the strength to go up the stairs to my room, and just desperately wanted a place to collapse and sleep. So, I found myself standing in front of my brotherās room, which was on the first floor.
āOniichan~~.ā
I knocked and called out to my brother.
There was no response.
My brother loved me, so if he was in the room he would have definitely shouted out āWhat do you need from me, Sasami-san?! I should strip, yes?!ā and have come bounding out of the room while taking off his clothes.
āI guess heās still not backā¦ā
Feeling a bit disappointed, I opened the door to his room.
It was fairly dark inside.
I turned on the lights, and my brotherās plain room filled my vision.
It was an adultās room with absolutely nothing remarkable about it.
There wasnāt even anything to play around with, so to a kid like me this room was pretty boring.
He didnāt even have a TVā¦ what exactly did he do in his free time?
Yawnnnnā¦
But enough about that incomprehensible brother of mine. I lay down on top of his soft bed.
For now, I really didnāt want to move anymore.
Everything now was so fun and exciting, and every day was filled with new experiences.
But living as a normal human was really pretty tiring.
āOniichanā¦ā
Burying my head into my pillow made it almost feel like I was being hugged by my brother.
His scent was there too.
I flapped my feet up and down as I lay there, as if I was sucking up some kind of energy from the space around me. But suddenly, I noticed something.
There was something next to the laptop computer on my brotherās desk.
At a glance, it seemed like a suspicious-looking DVD.
āā¦?!ā
I jumped a bit and got off the bed, walking towards the desk.
My heart pounded as I picked up that DVD and set it at eye level.
āWhat the hell is thisā¦?ā
I go to my brotherās room a lot, so I pretty much knew where everything was placed.
But Iād never seen this DVD before.
It didnāt look like a DVD he had bought from a store, and there wasnāt a label either.
It seemed more like a DVD he had burned himself or something.
All I saw were some messy letters scribbled on the front in what looked like permanent marker.
ā
Top Secret
ā
āā¦ā¦?ā
Suspiciousā¦
I just couldnāt stop thinking about what was on this DVD, so I went over and locked the door and booted up my brotherās laptop.
This laptop should be able to read DVDsā¦
āDonāt tell meā¦ā
I sat myself down in the computer chair, uneasily teasing my hair with a finger as I mumbled to myself.
āThatās justā¦ butā¦ well, oniichan is an adult, so I guess thereās no helping it. But what kind of porn is thisā¦?ā
I had already made up my mind about what was on that DVD.
āBut, oniichan, that idiotā¦ to think heās interested in other girlsā¦ even though heās supposed to love only meā¦ what kind of girl is he lusting after hereā¦?ā
I felt myself getting increasingly annoyed.
My brother was an adult, so itās not like it was illegal for him to go buy porn or make a porn DVDā¦ but heās always going on and on about āSasami-san, I love you~~~ā so it was just unacceptable that he would have feelings for anyone else.
This was pure infidelity.
So, it was obvious that I had the right to investigate what kind of porn DVD he bought, and find out whether he had watched it already or not.
Yup, that was true. I nodded, and inserted the DVD into the laptop.
A new window meant for displaying a video popped up on the laptop screen.
āHmā¦?ā
I was perplexed.
There should have been a video or something playing in that windowā¦ but right now all I saw was a black screen with a few lines of noise running across it. I couldnāt make any sense out of it.
āHuhā¦?ā
I couldnāt help but feel uneasy at the sight of this gloomy screen, which was far from the erotic image I had been expecting.
Seconds passed, and then a minuteā¦ I just sat there stiff, without moving.
Suddenly, the noise disappeared.
Little swirls began to appear on the black display, almost as if drops of ink were landing on the screen. And then, in the middle of the screenā¦
Without a sound, words appeared in a cold-looking font.
ā
Sasami Watch Project.
ā
āā¦ā¦?ā
I cocked my head to the side at the sight of those words that just showed up with absolutely no context.
āWhat is thisā¦? Sasami? Is it talking about me?ā
My name was Tsukuyomi Sasami.
I felt my heart jump.
For some reason, I had a deathly bad feeling about this.
I really shouldnāt watch this any further.
But even as my instincts were sending out all kinds of alarms, I could no longer pretend to not watch and get away from the computer. All I could do was gulp and stare at the screenā¦
Ā
TRANSLATORāS NOTES
(1) Two brothers in Japanese Myth. The actual myth is a bit too long to put in a footnote, but if you are interested you canĀ read about it here.
(2) Iām only going to footnote this once per volume. A hikikomori is a shut-in, someone who doesnāt leave their room for anything. In Japan it is generally considered a social disease.\n