Chapter 3

“Ya ya1, it’s over.”

Ji Seok said urgently, as soon as he walked into the classroom on Monday. He sat down next to me and spoke with a look of worried intrigue.

“It’s my brother’s business…”

Ji Seok lowered his voice as he took out his textbooks.

“On his left ring finger, there’s a ring.”

‘You don’t have to stretch out your left hand and point at your ring finger, I already know. That’s right, me too.’

My mouth felt dry and my fingertips numb. I tried to erase the feeling by clenching my fists, but the pain of my fingernails digging into my palm only reminded me of the prickling feeling in my chest. I secretly forced myself to swallow, hiding my nervousness from Kang Ji Seok

“He’s been dying these past few days because he couldn’t find his partner. I think he can’t sleep.”

My shoulders flinched. Unlike me, he must’ve met a lot of people because he’s a busy person. I could guess that he hadn’t asked Ji Seok about me over the weekend but I was still nervous to hear about it myself.

“There’s a real ring?”

Pretending not to know, I spoke calmly. Ji Seok sighed and looked up at me from where he rested his head on the desk.

“I’ve been uncertain about it, but I didn’t think it would happen to my brother. What should I do, Woo Seo? I looked it up and it seemed romantic but also very scary.”

I could only tell him one thing.

“Find someone…quickly.”

I slipped my left hand under the desk. There was still a distinct red band on the ring finger of the hand on my thigh.

That day, like the day before, I couldn’t do anything but feel exhausted from the insomnia.

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The insomnia brought on by the ring was worse than I thought. Clearly, this insomnia was different from what I’ve been experiencing before as I couldn’t sleep at all.

Since I’ve been suffering from insomnia, I could manage to sleep for at least three or four hours if I persisted. But now, it’s ten to twenty minutes at most before suddenly waking up; close my eyes and waking up again. My body was even affected, the frequent anemia and headaches caused my nerves to be completely on edge.

‘I’m really gonna die like this.’

For the first time, I thought I might actually die from insomnia. My heart felt heavy thinking that Ji Seok’s brother was suffering from the same experience.

According to Kang Ji Seok, after that day, the house was completely like it was covered in a sheet of ice. Ji Geon-hyung, who was agitated, said he was searching for all the people he met the day before the fever broke out. There were more than a hundred people he saw and shook hands with that day. On top of that, there was no way to count those with whom he had the slightest physical contact.

For Ji Geon-hyung, it was only so frustrating.

‘I’ll just tell you after we meet.’

It was the same suffering for me too.

However, it was not easy to meet with Ji Geon-hyung and tell him the truth.

‘What are you going to do if you meet and show him the ring? Tell him to marry you?’

I shook my head at the thought as soon as it came.

The manifestation of this ring, which disregards gender, and the trend of the times has made the world’s views on same-sex marriage and homosexuality extremely tolerant. On the streets, you will often see same-sex couples holding hands confidently, and it’s been years since people have become indifferent to seeing them.

‘Am I lagging behind the times?’

The fact that I’m a man and still liked my friend became a source of guilt to me, I couldn’t even smile, let alone admit the brother of my friend and my fated partner were the same person. There couldn’t be anything as dramatic as this.

The thought of hugging or holding hands with someone I disliked, who was the brother of a friend I like, made me feel reluctant. When I was in high school, I didn’t feel uncomfortable because Ji Seok would be in the middle, and I’d get along with Ji Geon-hyung like we were brothers. But now, his aura has completely changed and coupled with an increasing psychological distance, it made it even more difficult to say anything.

The stifling feeling didn’t go away even after standing in front of Ji Seok’s home. More and more, it built up.

I lowered my gaze, looking at my hands before pressing the doorbell. The shopping bag in my right hand contained warm beef and vegetable congee from the nearby congee shop, and inside the black bag in my left hand was an all-in-one cold medicine from the pharmacy in front of the apartment, and two bottles of warm ssanghwatang2.

I wondered if I should’ve bought an ice pack or poultice, and pressed the doorbell as I worried about it. I pressed it a few times but couldn’t feel the presence of anyone inside.

‘Is he asleep?’

‘On a warm sunny spring day, you caught a cold and was lying alone, so I brought congee and medicine, but if you can’t get up because you’re asleep, how do I tell you this? I can’t just enter in the password of this house, which I still remember.’

Just when my cell phone vibrated, I took it out and checked it to see that Ji Seok sent me a message saying that he was asleep.

[I can t getupp. Passwor l d 0319]

And with typos.

‘And the password is 0316, not 0319.’

I clicked my tongue, punched in the password I memorized, and the door opened smoothly with a cheerful mechanical sound.

It seemed fine to go inside but I really didn’t know which room was Ji Seok’s. Beyond one of the tightly closed bedroom doors, as if it had been through telepathy, I could hear Ji Seok calling feebly. It was right next to Ji Geon-hyung’s room.

Secretly glancing at Ji Geon-hyung’s bedroom door, I headed towards Ji Seok’s room. After knocking on the door and going inside, I saw Ji Seok on the bed breathing heavily.

“You came…”

He smiled with a fever red face and struggled, squirming to raise his upper body. I had a load in both hands, so I hit his chest with my elbow instead, and watched him lie back on his own.

“Dude, elbowing a patient…”

“I’ll help you when you want to sit up. Just lie down and shut up.”

I set the baggage in my hand on the desk and started taking out what was inside.

“You didn’t have lunch yet, right? You always skip meals when you have a cold.”

“What could I do if I didn’t skip it? I don’t even have the strength to grab a meal…”

“Thought so. It’s still warm, so you can eat this right now.”

I was reluctant to take Ji Seok out to the table in the kitchen, so I went and got a tray to put on his lap. I unwrapped the congee, side dishes, spoons and chopsticks, placed them on the tray and helped him sit up. I placed a pillow behind his back to lean on, and the tray of food on his outstretched thighs.

“Eat as much as you can. Then you can take medicine.”

“Iiyaa3…my mom is too busy to do all this, you should just be my mom, then…?”

“Again, with the nonsense.”

I turned around with a smirk and this time, prepared the medicine. I took a look at the bottle of ssanghwatang and thought it was still warm enough to be taken after eating.

So that he could take medicine right after the meal, I prepared the pill, then placed my hand on Ji Seok’s forehead who was still trying to scoop a bit of congee. It felt quite hot, and he seemed to be in a daze with his eyes unfocused.

‘I should bring an ice pack and then a poultice when he’s done taking medicine.’

The ice packs I couldn’t buy kept lingering in my thoughts.

Ji Seok, who had three or four bites of the congee, looked up at me with a sorry expression.

“Sorry about this, ah.”

“For what?”

“Group project…”

‘Me too, what am I doing…’

Like the other group members who made various excuses, he seemed to be sorry that he couldn’t prepare the assignment together.

“Don’t worry and just get better soon. Your body’s so big but once you get a cold, you say it hurts so much.”

“En… but since you took care of me, I think I’ll get better soon. Thanks.”

Seeing that smiling face, I felt as if something was lightly beating on my chest. The corners of my mouth lifted slightly as my mood was better.

“But are you sure you’re sleeping well? You’re about to become a panda.”

The rising of my lips suddenly stopped as Ji Seok spoke.

“No matter how many assignments there are or how difficult, you should sleep well. When I look at my brother, there seems to be nothing as painful as sleep deprivation.”

I couldn’t say anything and just quietly listened. Instead, for fear of being too obvious, I pressed the area beneath my eyes.

“Ah, come to think of it, my brother said he’d be back as soon as he gets off work…”

I flinched at Ji Seok’s words. I took out my cell phone and checked the time, it was a bit past six o’clock. My sense of time must’ve been dull because it was still sunny out as summer was approaching.

My mind started racing. I felt an illusionary prickling on my left ring finger, as if I was aware of Ji Geon-hyung coming back from work. I wanted to go but I couldn’t leave Ji Seok, who just started eating. How could I just leave a tray of food on the thighs of a man who barely has the strength to lift a spoon?

Between moments of hesitation.

I heard the familiar mechanical sound of the lock coming from the front door. Soon the door opened and I heard someone entering the house.

“Hyung, you’re here?”

Unlike Ji Seok, who stretched his head to look out towards the half-closed door, I couldn’t turn my head. Before I knew it, I lodged my left hand into my pants pocket and my shoulders stiffened; I was nervous.

Soon enough, the sound of footsteps approached and the other side opened the door to Ji Seok’s room wider.