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The short vacation was quickly over. Before leaving, I talked to the doctor in charge of my mother and then finally stopped by the hospital room to greet my mother.
It was time to go but my mother’s face kept holding me back. Initially, my mother was a person on the thinner side and thought it was probably because of that but I had to admit the truth in the end. My mother looked thinner than before.
Even after I grabbed my bag, I hesitated standing next to the bed and barely could leave the hospital room.
“Go ahead, Hakyung. Mother will be doing well with Gunwoo. What are you worried about when I’m receiving such good treatment? Mom is still strong enough to work.”
“Still, don’t work. Even after you’re discharged, I’m going to make a lot of money for you.”
“Yes, I see. I’ll wait since my son will make me live in luxury . Hurry up and go before Gunwoo comes. Once Gunwoo comes here, you won’t be able to leave.”
“Okay.”
“Hurry up.”
When I couldn’t even move even after nodding, my mom tapped me on the back and urged me. Only then could I take my steps slowly as if the spell had been lifted.
Before leaving the hospital, I stopped by the bathroom and wore Jang Yoonsung’s clothes and put on a wig. I felt a glare but I wasn’t in the mood to care about that. Finally, I put on the hat and waited for the bus to go to the place where I was supposed to meet Jang Yoonsung, while I thought about meaningless things. I thought it would be nice to live with my family and see Chairman Jang and Jang Yoonsung too.
For a very, very long time, until I was as old as Chairman Jang.
When we made an appointment to meet, I answered ‘anything’ when Jang Yoonsung asked me what I wanted to eat. After hearing the same answer about three times, Jang Yoonsung asked me to meet at a hotel in downtown Seoul.
As promised, Jang Yoonsung, was standing by the entrance of the hotel and approached as if he were running from a distance.
“How was your vacation?”
“Just…”
It was complicated to explain. It felt good to see my mother and Gunwoo but it was a time when I just couldn’t be happy. But when I tried to articulate it, it would be an insincere answer to the person who tried his best for my vacation.
“…Good.”
So I added a short word and pulled the corners of my mouth.
I sat at a restaurant located on the high floor of the hotel, a window table with a good view and nodded at everything Jang Yoonsung asked as the tall order was finally concluded. When the employee left the table, Jang Yoonsung asked me with a strange expression.
“Is there something going on at home?”
“No.”
“Then why do you look so sullen? Perhaps, is it because you don’t want to go back to the villa?”
I couldn’t readily deny that I didn’t. I wanted to go back to the villa but I also didn’t. Jang Yoonsung, who was looking at me with a worried face, changed his expression slightly.
“If that’s the case…”
“No, it’s nothing like that.”
I shook my head quickly because I was afraid that jang Yoonsung would be nosy again. I had to go back to the villa. There was no better option other than that. At the sound of no, Jang Yoonsung gave a clear cut expression and no longer persisted.
There was a long silence until the ordered dish was served. It is possible that he might not like someone who would make faces while grabbing a meal together but Jang Yoonsung didn’t really ask or say anything bad. It was impossible to reveal the subdued feelings without being able to tell what the circumstances were. I emptied the dishes on the first plate and expressed my feelings with a muffled voice.
“This is delicious.”
Jang Yoonsung, who was watching me eat, pushed the plate towards me.
“Eat this too, then.”
I didn’t want to eat someone else’s food but I had it anyway because I wanted the atmosphere to settle down. Fortunately, Jang Yoonsung quickly returned to his usual face as if efforts were not in vain. I breathed a sigh of relief because I didn’t have to tell him what I had done the last two days and thought all I had to do was return to the villa.
I would be restless for a while but I would soon be immersed in the tranquility of the villa. Yes, it would be like that.
The words that encouraged me were successful. When we left the restaurant, I was able to return to my usual self.
“Ah, right! I was supposed to buy you dinner.”
I was preoccupied with this and that, and only after taking the elevator, I remembered I didn’t foot the bill.
“How much did it cost? I will…”
I was rummaging through my bag with the intention of paying him back and I realized that I didn’t have much cash left in my wallet so I looked up. I put the money given by Chairman Jang in my back account earlier because it was scary to hold it as it was and I couldn’t afford to pay for the meals at those types of restaurants with the sum of cash I carried with me.
Jang Yoonsung who was watching me, tilting his head, opened his mouth as if he was annoyed.
“Nevermind about that but since we are here, do you want some drinks?”
“Drinks?”
I only asked like that because of the sudden talk about drinks but Jang Yoonsung pressed the elevator button without hearing my answer.
“There’s a nice bar here.”
“Won’t you drive?”
“What’s the problem? This is a hotel, so we can just spend the night here.”
I opened my eyes wide without realizing when I heard that I was sleeping at the hotel. There was no way to stop the spontaneous flow of my thoughts. I asked with my head so that he couldn’t catch my trembling gaze.
“The…we are using the rooms separately, right?”
Jang Yoonsung’s mouth went up when I accepted to drink. Meanwhile the elevator announced its arrival with a loud noise. Jang Yoonsung replied, gently pushing my back with his hand.
“If you are okay by then, that is.”
There was a reason why I drank after hearing that. The biggest reason was because I wanted to drink, and that I slightly believed and had confidence that I wouldn’t be the person Jang Yoonsung made me out to be and black out first.
But also in anticipation of that confidence, I also wanted to bully Jang Yoonsung. I wanted to see the man who was always relaxed and elegant to be disheveled once. Since I was the one who was always making embarrassing faces in front of him.
We sat face to face around a round table in the corner. I was worried about the eyes of the many people there but fortunately it was dim inside and no one seemed to notice my long hair. Still, just in case, I pulled down my hoodie and waited for Jang Yoonsung to order something.
“What do you want to drink? If you can’t drink well then…”
“I drink well.”
Contrary to what he said on the elevator, Jang Yoonsung was scanning the menu in search of a weaker cocktail and raised his head. Perhaps, he thought that I was bluffing but he stared at me and handed me the menu with a small smile.
“Choose what you want to drink.”
I accepted it but the menu that I came across in the middle of Seoul was written only in English so I was a little embarrassed. Even if I managed to read the name and description, it was difficult to imagine what it tasted like.
Eventually I couldn’t choose and turned the page. I saw a familiar name. I didn’t know what the cocktail was but it was a name I heard before. So I pointed at it and said, “This…” and took my hand off to see the price written next to it.
Jang Yoonsung looked taken aback but in the end, he ordered what I pointed out.
I didn’t like alcohol enough to actively search for it. However, there were times when I had no choice but to join a drinking party. Thanks to that, I knew that I could handle alcohol pretty well. Also, the pale faced young master who was sitting in front of me was an easy going opponent.
I emptied my first glass as I imagined what jang Yoonsung’s drinking habits are. Even the gently grown young master easily emptied the glass several times. Rather, I felt like i was the one defeated by the drinks that I was not used to.
How much did I drink? The world seemed to be leaning sideways and my arms were so weak that I dropped the glass enough to make a sound.
“Are you dizzy?”
Jang Yoonsung, who looked fine, asked.
“No, no.”
I shook my head and answered no. Actually, I was a little dizzy but I thought it was because I was shaking my head. Jang Yoonsung moved his chair next to me and held out a cup of water.
“Come on, drink some water.”
I thought I should, so I calmly drank it and I also ate the fruit that came as a side dish in my mouth. It was a pineapple as sweet and juicy as the one in the villa..
“One more.”
After saying that, I waited with my mouth open and the pineapple came in conveniently. I laughed profusely that I thought my life was worth living while being inebriated.
“Do you feel better?”
It wasn’t a worry that I could forget because I drank. Instead of answering, I smiled again. Jang Yoonsung held out another pineapple and asked me.
“I’ll give you another one so tell me what happened at your home.”
“Home…”
It seemed that the alcohol was not a concern but a sense of vigilance. I opened my mouth to answer Jang Yoonsung’s question. But nothing came to mind as if there were dark clouds circling my head.
“Home…Home…”
I was blinking without saying a word but a warm drop of water fell down my cheek. The burning tears trembled around my eyes. I was annoyed even in the middle of not being in my right mind.
I didn’t like crying. Even after i found out about my mother’s illness, I tried hard not to cry. I felt as if I would become weak if I shed tears. I felt as if the small drops of tears would belend in with the energy and power that kept me going and disappear forever.
So I grudgingly shot a glare at Jang Yoonsung who made me cry. Jang Yoonsung quickly put down the pineapple with a panicked face and swept my wet face with his hand.
When was the last time I cried? Probably because it was a long time ago, I couldn’t remember and my tear glands which were brimming with tears must have been holding itself back.
Tears flowed endlessly as if they would not miss the opportunity they had in a long time. Jang Yoonsung was watching me cry anxiously and sighed as if he had lost in the end.
“Okay, I won’t ask. I’m sorry.”
Instead of adding, “Don’t cry” to his sentence, he pecked me. Curiously, the tears stopped when his soft touch that touched me parted away.
For a moment, I thought that would be a remedy to make me stop crying so I froze for a moment. But it was soon followed by a hiccup, like a side effect. Jang Yoonsung looked at me apologetically and burst into laughter as my body heaved with hiccups.
“Don’t…”
Hiccup. I couldn’t even say, “Don’t laugh” properly. Hiccups, hiccups. Just as I couldn’t stop my hiccups, Jang Yoonsung couldn’t stop laughing. No matter how much I glared at him, it was useless. Hiccups were harder to stop than tears.
The hiccups finally stopped when it became so painful that it was uncomfortable to move my body.
“Good job.”
Jang Yoonsung tapped me on the back and pushed the last pineapple left on the plate into my mouth. I ate it without thinking again. Jang Yoonsung couldn’t take his eyes off me even while I was chewing the pineapple.
“If you do it again…”
“I’ll kill you!”
I didn’t mention what he was going to do again, but I replied furiously. It was my first time reading Jang Yoonsung’s eyes so clearly. He didn’t seem to take my threats seriously but he didn’t pester me anymore.
Jang Yoonsung checked the merely emptied bottle and asked, “Should we stop drinking?” He wanted to talk about this and that while I was drunk but he seemed to have given up after seeing me cry.
I took the bottle from Jang Yoonsung’s hand and served while I filled out glasses with little alcohol left.
“Order another bottle.”
I didn’t think I could sleep unless I got paid for my tears. Whether it was paying from Jang Yoonsung’s wallet for the drinks or watching him being drunk, one of them would at least relive my anger.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
Jang Yoonsung asked anxiously but called the waiter anyway. I tapped him on the back while he was making the order and whispered.
“A more expensive one.”
As if my request was ridiculous, Jang Yoonsung’s eyes widened a little and then returned to normal.
“Then not this…”
While smiling, he eventually asked the waiter for another drink and a fruit plate containing only pineapples.
It would have been the first time and last time I drank so competitively. What did Jang Yoonsung do to me that I poured alcohol into my mouth even though I could feel my tongue twisting and my head was getting heavy. If I emptied a glass, Jang Yoonsung followed to empty another glass.
Even though we were almost par with our drinking, Jang Yoonsung was strangely fine. I watched him drink in case he threw some sips away but there was no such instance. As the bottle went empty, the earth seemed to turn faster and faster. Now, even if I tried to hold the glass, I struggled to keep my eyes open and focus properly and my hands fumbled to touch anything.
I looked at Jang Yoonsung sitting next to me again. Finally, Jang Yoonsung’s body seemed to sway so I was happy but I was disappointed when I realized that only my vision was shaky.
Then I had a wild idea.
“Hey, isn’t that water?”
“What?”
Jang Yoonsung looked at me as if I was a drunkard and answered briefly.
“No way.”
“No. It can’t be anything else.”
Thinking that I should grab the evidence, I took the glass from Jang Yoonsung’s hands and poured it in my mouth in one swig. As expected, I couldn’t taste anything.
“I told you, it’s water…”
My confident voice could only reach there. Feeling the cold scent that filled my mouth, I fell into Jang Yoonsung’s arms.