Two more trails of tears trickled out out Li Helanâs eyes when she heard these words. She really wanted to grab Li Qitianâs hand and demand, âDo you mean that? Will you really protect me no matter what? If you actually want to protect me, then betroth me to Pang Zhixi!â
âŠâŠ
But she wasnât a rash ditz in the end. Though she could be more arrogant in front of her mother, she still knew what the limits of propriety were when it came to Li Qitian.
The bonds between brother and sister could never be as before, once her brother had taken the throne. They were no ordinary brother and sister. He was the emperor, and she the subject-sister. To put it bluntly, her lifelong happiness depended on his favor. His single word could proclaim if she was happy or not, living or dead.
So as much dissatisfaction as she currently bore, the only thing she could do now was to grit her teeth and shove all those thoughts deep inside. When faced with Li Qitian, she could only be a docile, sensible younger sister.
âRoyal brother, Lanâer knows. Itâs just a small matterâno big deal. With royal brotherâs favor, who would dare bully me?â
Li Qitian couldnât help but pat Li Helanâs head when he heard this.
She was his only young sister, and he really had made use of her in this matter. Forget it, it was enough to confirm that Li Helan had reached out to Pang Xiao. He didnât need to pursue that further. He couldnât expect a girl like his sister to hold the same political views as him.
âYour royal sister-in-law made a set of hair accessories a few days ago. We felt that it looks quite beautiful and had her make a set for you too. Remember to wear it when itâs delivered. Youâre the eldest princess, the purest of royalty. Donât mistreat yourself out of desire to be thrifty. Even if the nationâs coffers arenât deep at the moment, you still wonât go without.â He scratched her nose with tender emphasis.
Is he compensating me materialistically because he feels guilty?
Li Helan sighed to herself and curtsied with joy. âMany thanks to my royal brother and royal sister-in-law.â
âWeâre all family here, thereâs none for thanks.â Li Helanâs smile was infectious, brightening Li Qitianâs mood. He turned to speak with the empress dowager.
The emperor was the empress dowagerâs support, so she basically followed all of his advice. She would also respond accordingly to his mood. She was a smart woman, just like Li Helan, and was fully aware of where her happiness stemmed from. Thus, there was never a conflict with Li Qitian, and mother and son had quite an amiable relationship.
The emperor had a very lovely conversation and left in high spirits.
The empress dowager dismissed all her servants once he was fully out of the vicinity. She kept only Li Helan with her, and pulled her daughter close to murmur. âLanâer, you need to be more broad-minded and let some things go. You already have all the happiness a woman can attain in life. Donât be greedy. I donât know why youâve set your sights on Pang Zhixi, but you must realize that it's impossible for the two of you. Itâs set in stone that you will marry the Marquis of Northern Stability. Thereâs absolutely nothing that can be done to change it. The marquis is also an unreservedly handsome man with stunning ability. You must be satisfied with what you have, understood?â
Li Helan stared at her mother without saying a word, slowly nodding her head after a long while.
The empress dowager could tell that her daughter hadn't taken her words to heart. The older woman sighed with resignation.
A mother knew her daughter best. The empress dowager was very right. When Li Helan returned to her side hall, she burrowed into the blankets and wept bitterly. After thoroughly venting her feelings, she ordered Hexiang, âHave them prepare the carriage. Iâm going to wait in front of the Pang Manor. I donât believe that Pang Zhixi wonât come out!â
âYour Highness!â
âDonât bother persuading me otherwise! He pretends heâs not home when I visit. He fobs me off with an excuse when I send him an invitation. When will I be able to see him if I donât lay in wait for him at his front door?â
âBut, youâre the purest of royalty. YouâŠâ
âDonât mention that again!â Li Helan finally exploded in fury. âItâs because Iâm royalty that my happiness and future canât be tied to the one I like! If I donât even have the option to fight for what I want, then Iâd rather not be royalty at all!â
Hexiang seemed to have been yelled into submission. She stood there dumbly, unable to react.
âWell?! Go have the servants prepare the carriage!â
âUnder, understood.â Color had drained from Hexiangâs face and she quickly took her leave after a curtsey. She breathed out in relief once outside the palace, stopping for a quick word with an unassuming eunuch outside the Palace of Serene Piety, before going on her way.
âŠ..
âYour Highness, why donât you tell Miss Qin first and bring her with you to look at the manor?â asked Xie Yue with a smile.
Pang Xiao shook his head, adjusted his leather coat, and picked up a horse whip with a smile. âIâll go take a look first. If even I donât like it, then thereâs no need for her to go look. But with Sir Xie in charge of things, Iâm confident that the manor is suitable.â
"It was perfect timing that a family wants to move away from the capital. They havenât decided if they want to sell yet. We can take a look first, and we can talk it over with them then if Your Highness thinks itâs suitable.â
Pang Xiao nodded, had the servants ready the horses, and left on horseback with Huzi and Xie Yue. But theyâd just trotted through the doors when a window curtain lifted in a carriage parked on a street corner.
Li Helan was clad in an exquisite white leather coat, her pale face wrapped by a fur collar. It highlighted her red lips and white teeth. Bashfulness and plaintive complaints brimmed in her eyes, while the sentiments between her brows seemed as deep as the fathomless see. One could nigh well drown in them.
âYour Highness, the days are so cold, arenât you still recovering? Where are you going on horseback and in the snow?â
Li Helan alighted from the carriage, unable to put up a haughty act in front of Pang Xiao. She spoke gently and with a smile, but the notes of complaint deepened in her tone.
On horseback, Pang Xiao had been prepared to ignore her. But she was the eldest princess after all, with the lofty status to boot. Sheâd already stepped down, so itâd be inappropriate if he remained sitting in his superior position.
The prince jumped down gracefully and fully observed all the courtesies with his bow. âSo itâs the eldest princess. You know the days are cold as well, so why arenât you resting in the palace? Why have you braved the snow to come here?â
âWhy? How would you possibly not know?! Royal brother has betrothed me to Ji Lan! Iâm going to marry Ji Lan! What are you going to do about that?!â
The interrogative tone made it seem like Pang Xiao had abandoned her, discarded her by the side of the road.
Pang Xiao arched a brow with a smile. âYes, I do know of this. I naturally need to prepare a hefty gift for such a wonderful occasion.â
âYou!â Li Helan had thought that the man she dreamed of night and day would have similar feelings for her, that it was also unbearable for him too. Who wouldâve thought that when she threw the problem to him, heâd only say that he would prepare gifts for her!â
Tears flooded out of her eyes; the many days of suffering made her no longer able to control herself. She choked back sobs as she demanded, âJust what do you mean by this, why are you avoiding me?! What about our past together?! How would you possibly not know the feelings I've had for you all these years??â
Pang Xiaoâs brow knit together.
At the same time, in another street corner, Ji Zeyu was fully taking in the sight of Li Helan sobbing in front of his sworn brother. Someone had secretly told him that something highly important would happen in front of the Pang Manor today, and heâd rushed here out of worry.