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Confessions of a Cowardly and Weak Conman
Duke Yellowmoon’s domain was east of the central nobility domains, on the edge of the imperial capital.
His manor was in a remote part of his domain. It was a little on the small side for one of the Four Dukes to live in, but it was still much bigger than the homes of other nobles.
It had a flower garden in its courtyard, and a man was standing in the middle of all the plants. He looked like he was in his mid-fifties, and his waist size backed that up. His shape reminded me of what a certain princess might have looked like if she hadn’t been able to fight off her F.A.T. There were dark circles under his eyes, and they moved around like a small animal who is scared.
“No, but
 Not that way
 Even so, the poisonous mushrooms
”
Duke Lorenz Etoile Yellowmoon walked around his garden nervously while muttering to himself.
All of a sudden, I heard the sound of footsteps coming closer. They rang with a steady rhythm, though he didn’t seem to notice. An old butler appeared, who walked up to his master with the stately posture of a career attendant and respectfully bowed his head.
“Sorry to bother you, sir.”
Lorenz was caught off guard by the respectful greeting, and he jerked back before he looked in that direction.
“Oh, it’s you, Bisset!” he said with relief when he figured out who was talking.
“You surprised me. I was
absorbed in my thoughts.”
The old butler was unmoved by his embarrassed smile.
“I apologise for disturbing your contemplation, milord. I have, however, urgent news that requires your ear
 Pardon my curiosity, but have you been here since last night?”
“H-Hm? Well, I guess I have. After all, it’s a very important matter.”
Lorenz answered shyly, “I can’t afford to sleep,” and then he yawned.
“Then let me make you some tea to keep you from getting sleepy. The report can wait until then
”
“Ah, all right. That’s a good idea. Bisset, thank you
”
Lorenz let out a deep sigh as he watched Bisset turn and walk away.
“But please, sir, you have to go to sleep. Even if just for a few hours. This way, your strength won’t last.”
When Bisset got back, he was quick to scold his tired master. Lorenz, on the other hand, did nothing but grimace.
“I’d love to, Bisset. I would really
 But I’m a con artist, and I’m not very good at what I do. I have to use every bit of my brain to get what I want,” he said as he rubbed his tired eyes and pressed his fists into his face.
“Holy Eve Festival is coming up. There isn’t much time left for me to get out of this cursed head of mine the few ideas I have.”
“In fact, that’s what this report is about.”
Lorenz’s shoulders moved in an uncomfortable way.
“The festival on Holy Eve? What’s going on? Has something changed?”
“Yes. The mushrooms in the forest that are dangerous to eat are the salamandrakes. They have been found by Her Majesty.”
“Aaah
”
Lorenz turned his face up towards the sky and leaned back. As his arms fell to his side, he seemed to lose what little strength he had left.
“So she has
 Ha ha
 How unfortunate. She really is the Great Wisdom of the Empire. Her Highness is not just a name for nothing
”
His lips started to smile slowly. It was a smile of resignation, the kind that comes after all other feelings have been used up.
“That girl is pretty cool. It took every bit of wisdom I had to do what I did, and all I did was put things off a little
 I even had to ask my daughter to help me clean up
 Bisset, I had to do what the demons told me to do in order to get this far. She, on the other hand, just
 She really is a wonder of a girl
 But I digress. Was there any more information? Does anyone know what happened next? What plans does Barbara have?”
“Unfortunately, none of these things are known to us. Her Highness’s entourage is proving to be very skilled. Wind Crows being kicked out of the empire was a big blow to us. We can only see so much.”
“Oh, right. Of course. That was also done by Her Highness, right? Remarkable. Really amazing,” Lorenz said as he shook his head and let out a long sigh.
Bisset said, “I have heard, though, that the wolfmaster has failed.”
“Moons, we’ve been losing a lot lately, haven’t we? On the other hand, I guess this news isn’t all that surprising. We already knew that Her Highness has a very good sword with her. I have to say, though, that the Serpents should be very proud of this wolfmaster. He failed, so I don’t think they’re taking this news very well either.”
“Yes, they look pretty flustered. He almost died himself in the process, so they say
 I’ve been told that they want to bring him back for now.”
“I
see.”
Still looking around nervously, Lorenz let out a sigh, but this time it was a sign of relief.
“All right then. We have no choice in the matter at all. Give them all the help they need to get him out—”
His face changed in an instant.
“If I remember
 Which means the direction is
 From Saint-Noel, through Belluga
”
He started muttering again. Bisset didn’t try to stop him. Instead, he just stood there and watched in silence. After a while, Lorenz stopped and smiled shyly again, as if he had noticed his butler’s patient gaze.
“Ah, look at me. Again lost in my thoughts
 Apologies, Bisset. I must be giving you a lot of trouble. Also, you’ve been here for a long time. You must miss home, right? You could have followed them back.”
“Your kindness is very much appreciated, sir, but I don’t think I’ll be back until I’ve paid you back. Moreover
”
Bisset paused.
Then, his face changed, as if he had changed his mind.
“Instead, I would like to ask to stay. It’s a pleasure to serve you, sir.”
“Come on now. Stop trying to make me feel good. I’m stupid, scared, and a liar. So, even if I just want something small, I have to drain my brain of all its limited knowledge.”
Lorenz got lost in his thoughts again. He spoke again after a while.
“Unhappily, my mind isn’t enough
 There are too many streams, and their flow is hard to understand. I can’t tell what’s going on. But at Saint-Noel, something could happen. Let’s do everything we can to get ready
”