I remember this voice, a manās thatās notably sweet and lovely. There is only one person I know of that it could be.
Lan Guan stood at the doorway of the stone room, holding its frame with both hands as he leaned on it slightly, complexion a bit unnaturally white.
Heās typically soft and charming, and this position makes him look even more delicate as a woman, entirely suitable for a Dan role; were he disguised as a woman, no one would have any idea he was a man. He had formerly been a famous Dan who was popular on both sides of the Yangtze river, and nowadays, though heās since changed professions into a procurer, everyone is still accustomed to calling him āProprietor Lanā.
āWhat am I doing?ā Yuan Qingyun callously mocks him, simultaneously letting go of me. āYou donāt know what Iām doing?ā
The twisted-up chains rotate in the air due to the reactionary force of the sudden release, causing my attached body to swing in a half-circle. In my slight dizziness, I seem to catch sight of Lan Guanās face turning even paler.
āHow is the House?ā Yuan Qingyun nonchalantly tidied up his lower garments.
āI listened to what you said and set off the fire, itās almost burnt nowā¦ Yun, you shouldnāt have done it like this. We put so much effort into the Everfragrant House, the Lord will be angryā¦ā
āShut it!ā Yuan Qingyun rebuked him coldly. āThatās your Lord, not mine! So long as I can take my revenge, he can find someone to come kill me if he doesnāt like it!ā
āYunā¦ā Lan Guan called weakly.
āYou werenāt watched by anyone? Were your tracks uncovered?ā
Lan Guan shakes his head. āI took advantage of the chaos to leave, and switched carriages three times on the way over.ā
Yuan Qingyun huffed. āYou need to have extreme caution. A lot of Zhangās cronies arenāt new meat. That punk Yao Jinzi is someone Iāve know from childhood who keeps quiet, but actually has the spirit of a fox.ā
āDonāt worry, Yun,ā Lan Guan quietly consoled him. āThis is a very hidden place. No one could find it.ā
Lan Guan looks at him, then looks at me, wavering, wanting to go yet stopping his steps. He eventually bit his lip and whispered imploringly, āYun, you stabbed him to death, yes?ā
Yuan Qingyun didnāt answer. He slowly turned sideways, gazing at Lan Guan with his un-smile. āHm?ā
āKilling him wouldnāt be overdoing it. Yun, I know he and you are arch-nemeses. Kill him and itās over with. Why must you give him fragmented pieces of misery?ā
āLanāer.ā Yuan Qingyunās dangerously elongated cadence came from his soft voice, much like the whisper of a lover, yet often used with deadly words. āAre you jealous?ā
Lan Guanās pale was was suffused with a wisp of redness. āYun.ā
Then he said firmly, āThereās too much to do today. I must write a letter to notify the Lord, and thereāll be plenty of time for that later, anyways. Why are you being impatient, Yun?ā
Yuan Qingyun tilts his head as he thinks about it, smile growing. āThatās also true. You canāt get tired of eating good food, or lose your appet.i.te for it.ā
Yuan Qingyun removed me from the iron chains, dragging me beside a wooden cage. I donāt have the strength to stand on my own now and can only let him tow me along. The whip lashes constrict me, causing unbearable pain, as I grit my teeth to bear it.
The cage is small, its opening smaller. Yuan Qingyun first stuffs the lower half of my body in and leaving my upper half outside of it. I know struggling is useless, so I obediently let him manipulate me about. That I can presently escape from being raped from me is already very satisfying, anyways.
He suddenly lowered his head and bit me on the shoulder. It wasnāt very hard, but it was still extraordinarily painful and came so suddenly, shocking me into giving out a small cry of fear. Raising my head to see his beautiful face up close, that burning fire beginning to rise up in his eyes again, those thin lips smelling of l.u.s.t, I canāt refrain from shutting my eyes to not look at him.
Yuan Qingyun chuckled lightly, grabbing my chin and lifting my face up to scrutinize it delicately. The hand isnāt rough, itās thumb ā intentionally or not ā caressing the delicate skin on my neck. āSir Zhang,ā he whispers next to my ear, āSo sorry for leaving you cold and alone tonight. Iāll definitely accompany you well tomorrow.ā
A vicious chill moves throughout my body and I very nearly shudder. I force myself not to look him in the eyes. He grinned harder, his hands hardly gentle as they shoved the rest of me in the cage and locked the door on it.
Yuan Qingyun and Lan Guan leave together, extinguis.h.i.+ng the lights and leaving me alone in darkness.
All of the welts seem like theyāre some sort of living creature, attached to my body, nibbling and biting me, the pain and burning sensation continuous, every rush of blood following every beat of my heart aching. I gradually get hungrier, not having eaten anything today. I didnāt have time to eat breakfast that morning because I had to go to the Palace after Court. My parched lips seem as if theyāre cracking. My bodyā¦ needs no further detail, the invading cold air making it slowly go numb.
Yet as time slowly goes by, all these pains and discomforts become insignificant as my consciousness begins to focus in on one aspect: the cage is very small. I cannot stretch my legs out or sit down, only able to maintain a half-crouching half-sitting position. Having to maintain this posture for this past half a s.h.i.+chen is a torture within a torture, every second as difficult to endure as a century.
Yuan Qingyun is truly too vicious.
I wanted to cut my legs off. I wanted to die right then and there. I wished that when that plan crash happened I had just straight up died. Why did I come here to endure such punishment? I started to hate my mother who birthed me into this worldā¦
The empty darkness began to reverberate with the sound of my soft sobbing.
Whatās Jinzi doing right now? Is he madly trying to find me? Iām regretting my excessive self-protection att.i.tude. If I had known beforehand that Iād be in a life-or-death situation like this where I could do nothing about it, would I still cling to those insignificant matters? Itās caused both of us anguish. Itād be better to forgive and forget the small stuff.
I donāt know how long I suffered this torment, and for a long time doubted that I was still alive, when I heard the sound of delicate footsteps.
The visitor stopped in front of my cage, the subtle radiance of the tiny torch illuminating Lan Guanās graceful face. He opened the cageās door and dragged me out in his arms. Itās then I realize Lan Guan is a man, able to lift me without much effort.
The second I came out, I felt like I was alive again. Never have I been grateful to someone like this like I am to Lan Guan now.
My legs canāt straighten themselves anymore, aching and numb and hurting like they arenāt my own. Lan Guan lightly pulled them, causing me to yelp in pain. He didnāt let go, gently pulling them straight and placing them on his knees, slowly ma.s.saging them until my blood resumed circulation.
āDid you come to kill me, Lan Guan?ā I asked softly.
He shook his head. āI thought about it. Killing you would be the best for you, but I wouldnāt be able to in the end.ā
āThen will you free me?ā I beg him.
He shakes his head. āI canāt let all of Yunās efforts be wasted.ā
He pulls out a small case and opens it up to a medicinal scent. He uses the tips of his fingers to stir the ointment and smear it on me, tenderly and meticulously.
āā¦Really, Yun isnāt a bad person, heās very kind-hearted. Donātā¦ hate him too much. If I didnāt know it well, Iād suspect there was a mistake somewhereā¦ How could someone like you bring harm to his family, Sir Zhangā¦?ā
āSomeone like me?ā I nearly laughed. āLan Guan, how do you know what kind of person I am?ā
āYou are a good person,ā he says resolutely. āIāve seen many men, and I can differentiate the good from the bad. Yunā¦ isnāt bad either.ā
ā¦ā¦
[T/N: ā¦ā¦]
If my level of goodness is only on par with Yuan Qingyun, then I am 100% not a good person. Also, Lan Guan definitely cannot differentiate between good and bad guys.
āLan Guan, do you like him?ā I ask.
Lan Guanās fair face reddens in the dim light, a flash of brightness pa.s.sing through his eyes.
āWe were lowly wh.o.r.es,ā Lan Guan lowered his head and spoke, āBorn solely to serve people. The better the faces we came with, the more bitter our fates were. I was sent out at fifteen, performing in opera while occasionally going with a few men to entertain them. No one looked at us as peopleā¦ I remember Yun from an earlier time. He could have still been considered a child back then. Such a pretty and respectable person, so unlike othersā¦ Heās always treated me very wellā¦ With my status, Iām unworthy of stating what I like and donāt like. But so long as Yun is happy, he could even tell me to die.ā
I watched him speechlessly. What am I supposed to say? That love isnāt divided between superiors and inferiors? That would have to be agreed upon by the involved parties, and Yuan Qingyun probably doesnāt think the same.
Besides, with my current plight, how can I be my enemyās psychiatrist and love counselor?
Lan Guan carefully attended to all my wounds with good medicine. Some of the locations are quite awkward, causing me severe embarra.s.sment.
āYour body really is beautifulā¦ā Lan Guan sighs lightly. āIāve seen many pretty boys, but never have I seen such complete beauty. No wonder heāsā¦ infatuated with youā¦ā
Infatuated with me? I abruptly raise my head to look at him.
Lan Guan gently smoothed out my messy locks, holding me in his embrace and whispering, āDonāt be stubborn with him. He can be coaxed but not coercedā¦ Yield to him a bit, flatter and cater to him, and heāll be unable to hate you or be so evil anymoreā¦ Now that your martial arts have been crippled, escaping from here will be as difficult as ascending to Heaven. If you want to suffer less, this is all you can doā¦ā
I stare at him. Is he actually suggesting this to me?
āYun is also suffering inside ā Iāve seen it with my own eyes these days ā so heās doubled his savageness towards youā¦ā
He lifted me up and placed me back in the cage. I now view this thing like a rabbit does its natural predators, my heart sinking as I hit real, extreme fear. Unable to even think about my dignity, I reached out and tightly hugged Lan Guanās neck, sobbing out, āDonāt put me in there, please.ā
Lan Guan sighed helplessly, tone soft. āYun will be angry if he knows. He wonāt care about me, but he will torment you moreā¦ā
āHe wonāt come now, it isnāt daybreak, he wonāt comeā¦ let me stay outside of it for a momentā¦ā I buried my head into Lan Guanās chest. The fragrance of his warm body, not unlike the first time seeing and smelling oneās own mother, enveloped me. Being in his arms is very warm, too.
āBut it will be soon,ā he said forlornly, but didnāt push me into the cage again, instead gently stroking my hair to comfort me.
āI donāt want toā¦ā I canāt stop from crying like a spoiled child in their motherās arms, hugging Lan Guanās neck even tighter, tears smearing on his shoulder.
Hah, how long has it been since Iāve thrown a tantrum? The tortureās made me weak.
Lan Guan is a very maternal sort of man, and he canāt resist holding me tight. āBe good. Donāt be afraid.ā He then hugged me for a long time.
When I recall this comical scene later, Iāll probably be endlessly ashamed, but I secretly decide that if the day comes that I escape, I will properly repay Lan Guan for giving me medicine and mutual warmth someday.
āAnd what are you doing?ā A cold voice sounded out, freezing my body. Lan Guan pushes me away and jumps up.
Yuan Qingyun held a lamp, lighting up his increasingly ashen face.
Lan Guan is somewhat stumped for an explanation. āItās not- Yun, this isnāt what you think it is.ā
Yuan Qingyun didnāt acknowlede him. He stared at me ferociously, tone contemptuous. āSir Zhan, you really are loose. Can a man really not stand one night of this? I truly admire you, though. Even Lanāer is fooling around with you!ā
I laugh sarcastically. āA vile person like you naturally sees others as the same kind of vile.ā
Lan Guan still wants to resolve this, and got a giant, roaring āScram!ā from Yuan Qingyun. His face was deathly pale in an instant, teardrops scramming from his eyes yet not falling. He covered his face and ran out.
Yuan Qingyun s.n.a.t.c.hes me by the hair and pulls me over, wordlessly viciously slapping me in the face twice again, blood coming out from my lips once more. I already donāt care about this, only inwardly hoping that he doesnāt knock out my teeth. Thereās no dentists in antiquity.
's.l.u.t.ā This guyās personal insult vocabulary is really lacking.
I ignore him.
āWhat should I punish you with this time?ā He seems like heās talking to himself.
Recalling all those weird instruments of torture, my face goes white.
āI know.ā He suddenly smiles. Picking up Lan Guanās abandoned jinchuang ointment, he then pulled out a fine dagger from his waist. āIāll castrate you first. You wonāt have a use for that thing later, anyways.ā
As I look at this smiling demon in front of me in indescribable horror, my mind blanks out. Only one thought remains: