Just like last time, a second warning will be issued before the problematic content along with a link to a non-explicit summary.]
Regarding the major event of the Annual Election, I must find Shao Qing to talk that over with him. Speak of which, I've been avoiding him for the past two days, and he hasn't batted an eyelid at that, more like watching what my goal in doing this is. I'm afraid that it'll be bad if I keep dodging him.
When I went to the Shao's home, I deliberately sent Jinzi away and brought along ol' Tian and Zhu.
A Shao family servant greeted me at the gate, and took off at the speed of light indoors to let Shao Qing know. This also incited two people to bring out a sedan chair from within, helping me switch over from the carriage to it.
This is not the Shao family's ancestral home, just their vacation home in the capital, but it's still much grander than my own gifted one. As Shao Qing campaigns for years on end, the Shao home's Lady, along with Shao Min and his wife, are arranged to live here in his place for the greater part of the year.
The sedan was carried to the drawing room for probably ten minutes. This is the c.u.mulation of generations of the Shao family's aristocrats, —. Shao Qing was already at the hall's door to welcome me, and upon seeing me get off the chair, comes forward to grab my hand. “Qinglian, you finally came to look for me. How did you find the time today?”
I smile and say, “I've received your fine horse, and came today to return the favor.”
Shao Qing gave me a burning look and moves his lips like he wants to say something teasing, but is hindered by the presence of others, shrinking back from that. He only speaks in husky voice, “There's lots of people here, Qinglian. Let's go to my study.”
My heart skipped a beat, but it wouldn't be good to decline, and he was already pulling me forward by the hand anyways.
Shao Qing's study is simple, with not many ornate artworks to be seen. There's a sword and a qin hanging on the wall, green muslin and white curtains hanging around, and a few expensively-made scrolls of calligraphy, but that's all.
He asked me to sit, and a pretty little maid offered up tea. Shao Qing had her withdraw, sipping the tea at a pace neither hurried or leisurely. “Let me guess… you came to speak with me about the Annual Election, Qinglian?” He says cheerily.
I'm secretly startled, but keep a smile on my face. “You guessed right. This matter's exactly what you've figured it is.”
Shao Qing looked at me with his own faint smile. After a while, he only said, “There really are a lot of vacancies for lucrative and important posts this year. The Imperial Censor is an old man who's looking to retire, and the Minister of Revenue Ji's parents have died so he must resign and return to his ancestral home. Sir Gu and Sir Li are likely to fight like mad over those spots. Though the people under your control are many, they don't amount to much and the aren't qualified enough, so I'm afraid it won't be easy. Or would you be willing to let an outsider have them?”
“What delicacies there are these days, but I'm not afraid of getting burned, nor am I greedy. Although the post of the Imperial Censor is of utmost importance, I don't have anyone who can eat that up here. If you have someone in mind, then by all means. I'll certainly support your choice in Court. However, Liu Chunxi of the Ministry of Revenue is an astute one with a sharp creative mind. He also has good insight into the fraud going on in that Ministry, so I'd like to promote him so he can take care of this matter.”
Shao Qing wrinkles his brow. “The Ministry of Revenue's Left Chief Deputy, Liu Chunxi? I know of him. He does have some true talent, it's just that his mind's somewhat uppity and scatterbrained. Supposing that he can be given more power at all, with how young he is and how shallow his experience is — promoting him up to the Minister of Revenue? I don't think there'll be many that'll be convinced.”
“He doesn't have to be promoted; whoever Gu Yunzhi and Li Minguo recommend just need to be put down. Then, as Liu Chunxi remains in his original post, and he'll be put into place as a temporary consultant for the Ministry of Revenue.”
“This is feasible,” Shao Qing says. He then discussed some offices and candidates with me, brainstormed over who the Gu-Li duo might suggest, and how to find out and nitpick the faults of those others. He then suddenly asked of me, “Did you have a part in the Cui family's human duck incident?”
I jumped, not expecting him to say anything about that. He continues on, “I know of your difficulties too, but this matter can't be handled cleanly. Thankfully, my older brother and Uncle Yuwen don't know the truth. I'll take over responsibility for this, so don't do anything else about it. Also, were you in the Palace the night the Emperor was poisoned?”
I nod. Shao Qing scolded me, “Why didn't you silence the witnesses? You have to secretly wipe the slate clean, Qinglian. You've never overlooked something like this before. How many troubles will this add? How many future repercussions?”
I have nothing to say to his instruction. He got up and walked in front of me, gently propping up my chin. “Qinglian, what's going on? What happened in this half a year I've been gone? You're very different from before… and also more cold and cursory towards me…” He said softly.
My conscience is a bit guilty. I want to avoid his hands and eyes, but though his touch is soft it can't be shaken off.
He pulls me up and draws me into his embrace, bowing his head to search for my mouth.
There's endless contradictions in my mind. Do I rebuke him or not? Not refusing is out of the question, but then, how would I placate him…?
——
While I'm waging a celestial war in my head, Shao Qing changed tactics and sucked on my lip, trying to also slip his tongue into my mouth. It's beyond uncomfortable, especially since he's hugging me in a deathgrip, the kiss getting hotter and hotter and deeper and deeper, his hand moving around erratically on my body.
I ultimately pushed him away a bit, gasping for air as I spoke, “Minzhi, I-I can't breathe…” I hadn't even finished speaking when the hand he had on my waist suddenly flies out, jabbing at a few areas on my body faster than I can react. My entire body immediately goes limp, not a trace of strength left in it, and I softly fall into his embrace.
“Minzhi!” I'm scared and angry, my voice raising to a shout. “What do you think you're doing?”
Shao Qing bridal-carries me in his arms, effortlessly striding over to a side-room. Within was a chaise meant for napping which he set me upon, then set about taking off my clothes.
I can't move a muscle as I helplessly watched him take my clothes off piece by piece, unable to cover up my nude form that'd been exposed to the air. My voice trembles in worry and dread, “Minzhi, why did you seal my acupoints?”
He used a hand to fondle my a.s.s while also leaning over to brand a kiss on my back. I can't help but shudder. He lifts up his head, speaking in a gentle voice, “Qinglian, I know you don't like being underneath, but I really can't help it… I want to be inside you…” His voice became hoa.r.s.e with desire at the end.
[T/N: You don't like being on the bottom so let me force you to be real quick? Okay??? Way to be a rapist instead of a normal human being you stupid f.u.c.kin' deer-looking a.s.s]
I've always rejected him, perhaps because I'm afraid of his excessively intense desire. What's more is that I currently have no possibility of resisting him, only feeling a deep chill in my heart…
Shao Qing turned me over, caressing and kissing every inch of my body. Looking up to gaze at my face, his voice is low, and filthy. “This body is still so beautiful…”
I want nothing more than to cry, but I manage to restrain myself, indifferently watching him manipulate me as if my soul had drifted away from my body and is now watching at the side, so much so that I believe that the one he's playing with is Zhang Qinglian and not me at all.
Shao Qing takes out a small box of some kind of ointment. Completely giving up hope, I open my mouth and mumble, “…Minzhi, turn me over, from… from behind's better…”
I don't want to watch myself getting taking advantage of by someone, don't want to see what expression he makes when he's making love, and don't want to let him see my own expression.
He thinks it over, then agrees, flipping me over on my request.
I felt his finger slowly entering me. I felt his finger slowly entering me. It hurts a lot, especially from his nail, which though short still feels like it's scratching me up. The fingers swivels around as if he's ensuring the ointment is evenly spread out. I sense a coolness; whatever it is must have something like mint in it.
He pulled out his finger, and the sound of him undressing followed. When he finally grabbed my hips with both hands, my whole body tenses up, yet still could not obstruct an object from entering me little by little.
I painstakingly try to convince myself to treat this as if I was receiving an enema, but an enema wouldn't hurt this much. It hurts more than when I lost my virginity. It hurts more than a broken bone. I'm completely unable to withstand this pain, wanting to cry, scream, plead, and say whatever I have to say so long as it stops, even if I have to die immediately afterwards… now I know that those traitors who sold out their organizations and parties under torture were truly justified.
But I'm very proud of myself that I'm neither crying bitterly or shrieking, even more so that I'm not pleading. I bite the corner of the bedspread, doing my utmost to bear with it, only to find that Shao Qing had already undone my acupoints who-knows-when.
Yet I have no room for resistance. Shao Qing is pressing me down and incessantly ramming me from behind. In addition to the pain, the lower half of my body is practically numb- oh, there's also a warm liquid slowly trickling from my body. It can't be his e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.e judging from his actions, so it has to be my… blood.
The biggest pain of this torment is not knowing when it's going to end,
and the actions of my pain-giver are becoming increasingly frantic, not exercising any control at all, with every wave of pain superimposing on the last becoming even more intense…
Shao Qing keeps moving as he reaches one hand out to my front to stroke me, the other petting my back comfortingly, gasping out, “Qinglian…Qinglian…”
What's the meaning of calling out like this? Is he crying out the name of his beloved?
I don't answer, my body's self-protection mechanism having already kicked into gear, with fainting induced by enduring too much physical pain.