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On the last day of the exam, I was more relaxed than usual because I took the exam mainly on arts and physical education subjects. I also had some spare time to watch TV. I was sitting on the couch in the living room, cushioned, watching TV. It was a program for love-related counseling.  I watched TV with my head tilted. A famous male actor came out. I don’t think my personality was particularly appealing, but I took the viewer’s question seriously.
– My boyfriend doesn’t keep pace. Even on our first date, we just held hands and it was over. I’m honestly looking forward to it, so, like a kiss. At first, I thought he didn’t like me. He then admitted that it was a misunderstanding and that it was his first relationship. So, since it’s his first time, I figured we’d take it slowly, but we’ve been dating for a year next month. We had rarely if at all, kissed up until this time. So, what should I do now?
The male actor listened seriously and then tilted his head.
– Looking at this story. Oh, my goodness. These days, young people only consult on all of these issues. I believe the two of you should talk more about it, and you can tell him things like, “I want to do this with you.”  …However, it definitely seems like your boyfriend is having a hard time. In my opinion, the person who posted the consultation is the first…
– Oh, please stop!
The panels stopped the actor. I looked at the TV with a puzzled face and looked away. Aside from the actor talking like an old-fashioned man, he was in serious trouble. Do people usually kiss on the first date? I just scratched my cheek.
Then, what would Dae-han want to do with me…
‘I want to kiss you.’
Lim Dae-han’s voice was faintly heard in my head.
“Ah!”
I wrapped my hands around my head. In the room, my brother slammed the door and kicked it. “You’re too loud!” He shouted. “So, sorry…” I immediately apologized.
By any chance… Aren’t I going to kiss Dae-han tomorrow, too?
I blinked with my eyes wide open. I rubbed my lips with my palm. Fortunately, I didn’t think I needed to use lip balm. No, ah… What should I do…
“…”
I eventually turned the television off. When the laughter and chit-chat were turned off, there was only silence. My mind became more muddled. I got up from the sofa shrugging my shoulders.
Study, let’s just study…
***
The bell rang signaling the end of the last exam. For some reason, the usual school bell sounds like a beautiful melody of music. However, Jung Ji-pil, who had been dozing during the exam, raised his voice even before the sound was fully quiet.
“Oh man, it’s over! I thought something was going to fall out.”
The teacher took the OMR cards that the student was picking up and asked.
“Aren’t you sophomores supposed to self-study for an hour?”
“Yes. We have to study on our own because of the exams of the 3rd graders. No, honestly we won’t study. Teachers, isn’t it preferable to go back rather than be concerned here because it’s already quite loud?”
The teacher received a complaint from one of the guys in front of me. In fact, the teacher’s expression was strikingly similar to ours. What sanctions might teachers face, now that I think about it?
Students would be cursed at and the teachers should be wary of the principal and vice-principal. Third graders have a high level of sensitivity. It wasn’t a simple task.
“I don’t know. I want to go, too. Anyway, you worked hard taking the exam. You should study on your own. The homeroom teacher will be here soon.”
After finishing his speech, the teacher organized the paper in his hand and left the classroom. “Goodbye.” I bowed my head from the back and sat down on my desk. I made a dejected look as I extended out my arms and touched the chair in front of me.
In fact, I’m not sulky and there were a lot of things to be concerned about.
I checked it first by biting my lips. Because my lips were dry the night before, I applied lip balm just in case. Others say to use toner, lotion, and other products, but I didn’t use anything in specific. Because it was inconvenient and uncomfortable. I’d never really paid attention to my lips. As a result, my lips were always chapped in the winter. Even so, I wore lip balm last night and slept with it on. It’s a little embarrassing, but…
To calm my mind, I rubbed my lips from side to side, pressing them together. I slowly closed my eyes and opened them to organize my thoughts.
If I and Lim-De-han kiss… What to do… Things like that.
I’ve never kissed before. There were pictures of me kissing my deskmate when I was in kindergarten, but that was it. And there was no one to ask for advice.
The only people around were my friends who didn’t even know anything about dating, and I couldn’t even ask my brother.
However, my brother was still quite popular, but if I asked him, “Hyung, have you kissed?” I was sure he would come after me in anger. However, I also couldn’t ask Lim Dae-han friends.
I couldn’t even study properly because I was struggling and thinking alone. But, because I’d seen it before, I just went ahead and answered the question properly. Normally, I would have taken out the exam paper and listened to the class president’s answer, but today I couldn’t.
The door to the classroom opened while the class president reading the answer. Out the front door, the homeroom teacher peeked in.
“You know it’s self-study, right? If you get caught on the way out, you’ll get in trouble.”
“Yes.”
The classmates answered in unison. The teacher raised her index finger and pointed around the classroom.
“Especially Lim Dae-han, Park Yeo-sun, and Lee Deok, you all went out… Dae-han-ah, where did you go?”
“I went out.”
A voice came from behind. When I turned my head, Lim Dae-han was sitting behind me. I looked at him with my eyes wide open.
“I asked to change seats.”
Lim Dae-han spoke as if to soothe me as I was surprised. “Oh, ah…” Lim Dae-han stroked my back as I stuttered. Because his bone was much thicker than mine, his bumpy fingers pressed down hard on my back. To be honest, I felt like my skin was being pressed down each time, but I endured it while frowning.
“Guess what I write on your back.”
Lim Dae-han has been playing a joke on me with a gloomy voice. I shook my head because I was afraid it might continue to hurt.
“I don’t want to…”
“Look ahead.”
Lim Dae-han was stubborn. I clenched my teeth and tilted my head to the side. As I turned around, I made eye contact with the classmate on the next row. He looked at me with pity again. That’s right. You are right… I’m a pitiful person. I had to sit up straight and face Dae-han’s hard-pressed hand.
K i you ng h yu n
Fo ol
“Did you write ‘Ki Young-hyun is a fool'”?
I tilted my head to the side and asked. Lim Dae-han had a grin on his face. What’s funny? I can’t understand at all. Jung Ji-pil also said I wasn’t fun, and I know I’m not, but Lim Dae-han laughed whenever he got the opportunity.
Maybe I’m funny?
I thought about it for a while, but it couldn’t have been.
“I’ll write more, so guess.”
“Gently… Can’t you? It hurts.”
Lim Dae-han glanced at me. My eyes accidentally touched Dae-han’s lips when I made eye contact with him. I flinched, panicked, and spun around to face the front. Did he apply lip balm before going to bed? His soft lips glistened in my head. Later, during the date, those soft lips…
“Ouch.”
Lim Dae-han used his finger to poke me in the back. It didn’t seem to be handwriting, and the purpose was to give pain. I grabbed my back and locked my gaze on him.
“It’s not fun anymore.”
“…”
“Play with me.”
Anyway, Lim Dae-han was on his own. I turned my body back to the side where I sat facing the front. I made eye contact with Lim Dae-han, who was leaning against the wall who had buried his face and his chin on the back of his arm. Handsome. Lim Dae-han was definitely handsome. His thick eyebrows and the bridge of his nose were also sharp, and the features were generally large. Especially his lips…
My eyes that were looking at Dae-han’s lips headed elsewhere. I could feel Lim Dae-han looking at me with his eyes wide open. Oh, it was really weird I feel like a perv. I pulled my hair and bit my lower lip.
“Do you have a habit of biting your lip?”
“Hey, why are you asking that?”
Lim Dae-han lifted his brows in response to my reaction.
“It’s because you bite your lip whenever you get the chance.”
“A-ah… Is that so.”
I gave a vague response and lowered my gaze again. Lim Dae-han pointed at my desk with his chin.
“Give me your notebook.”
“Why…”
“Hurry up.”
I handed it on to him because it was a memorizing notebook with very little content. Lim Dae-han raised his body. Then he tilted his head and turned the page with a sour expression on his face.
“Your handwriting is good.”
He muttered to himself.
“It was roughly written.”
I added words because I felt somewhat embarrassed. When Lim Dae-han spotted me, he pouted his lips and drew only one side up at an angle.
“Are you trying to sound humble?”
“What are you talking about… Give me the notebook back.”
I reached out my hand again. I reached for the notebook, but Lim Dae-han pulled it away from me. I couldn’t reach that far with my hands.  Eventually, I couldn’t get it. Lim Dae-han lowered his arm again as he rolled his eyes.
“I’ll write you a letter.”
“You have to write it on the back.”
“Look ahead. I will write it down.”
Lim Dae-han lowered his upper body as I slowly turned forward. The back was soon deafeningly quiet. My entire nerve was centered on the back.  However, because Dae-han was so silent, I bowed my upper body and fell on the desk after a while. I turned my head to the side. The cold desk surface touched my cheek.
I stared at the gray wall as I gently opened and closed my eyes. I’m starting to feel drowsy. The rate at which my eyelids closed decreased dramatically, and I finally closed my eyes.
My hands were on Dae-han’s lap. We were neatly dressed in school uniforms. We sat facing each other.  I drew my body back because something was touching the center of my thigh, but Lim Dae-han grabbed my butt and slapped me hard. He then said it quietly.
‘Stay still.’
I closed my eyes and didn’t know what to do. He raised his hand and caressed my cheek. Then he leaned in closer with his head tilted. Soon our lips…
“Ugh.”
I had a dream that I was kissing Lim Dae-han passionately. It wasn’t just a simple kiss. The tongue had a play as well. It was a midsummer day’s dream. As I jumped up, something touched the back of my head. Bang.
“Ah.”
I turned my head to the sound of what had caused the pain. Unlike me, who was upset, Lim Dae-han was making an expression while holding his chin.
“Ah, crap.”
Perhaps I slammed my head into Lim Dae-han’s chin when I stood up. I was flustered and stretched out my hand before pausing.
“I’m sorry. A-are you okay?”
I stuttered and asked Lim Dae-han. My gaze was focused on Lim Dae-han’s lips again. Those soft pink lips spoke to me. Slowly opened and closed.
“Yeah. Is your head okay?”
Lim Dae-han’s big hand was wrapped around my head. I shook my head. Let’s not think weirdly, let’s not think weirdly. I kept my mind under control until Lim Dae-han let go of his hands.
“…It’s okay.”
I took a big breath and exhaled slowly. I lived. I glanced around the classroom with my barely awake eyes. It was then that I realized that the classroom was quiet. There was no one in sight except for Dae-han. I looked up at Lim Dae-han and asked.
“Where’s the other guys?”
“They are all gone.”
“Ah…”
I looked at the clock and noticed that the school had ended 30 minutes ago. I thought I slept longer than I thought. I stood up and let out a slight yawn.
“Did you wait for me? You should have woken me up.”
Lim Dae-han put his palm over my head when I opened my eyes and asked. It felt like he was wiping dirt away, but for me, he was caressing me.
“I was watching you sleep.”
“…”
“You fell asleep with your mouth open.”
“…You don’t have to tell me all of that.”
I cut it off and packed my bag. I only needed to pack a notebook and a pencil box, as well as organize my bags. I got up with a lighter backpack in my arms than normal.
“Are we going now?”
Lim Dae-han nodded when I asked him. I was more concerned about how I would get through the day than about going on a date with Lim Dae-han. I’m already concerned about each and every one of them, but what will happen after that? It was just painful.