It was embarrassing to say it myself, but I was on the side that my friendsâ parents liked.
My grades were pretty good, and I wasnât the type of person who enjoyed disobedience and bluffing. Even when I went to a friendâs house, I didnât make a fuss and pretended to be dead, and since I was a child, I was extremely careful about manners, so I tended to help with tidying up after greetings or meals.
So, I was sure Lim Dae-hanâs parents would like me quite a bit.
ââŠâ
ââŠâ
ââŠâ
However, contrary to my expectations, when I greeted Lim Dae-hanâs parents, they just stared at me blankly. I lifted my bowed head after saying hello, and his father, who resembled him, said something.
âIs he your friend?â
Lim Dae-han just replied, âUhm?â with an awkward face. It was then that his mother talked to me, âAh⊠Youâre Dae-hanâs friend. Are you in the same class? You have a different feeling from his usual friends.â She greeted me awkwardly.
I also knew exactly what kind of behavior Dae-hanâs friends had, so I understood why his mother and father were awkward. I just smiled awkwardly and said, âYes. We are in the same class.â It was all I had to say, and Lim Dae-han was embarrassed to say the least. His ears turned red and pulled my arm, telling me to go for dinner. Of course, Dae-ryong seemed to like me, so he was holding my hand from the other side as Lim Dae-han dragged me away.
The intercom sounded again while we were relaxing in the hanokâs living room, and we went down to the house below to come down for dinner.
After seeing the table, I realized how rude and inconsiderate I was when my friends came over, because I cooked ramen, ordered delivery, or just grilled some ham or eggs for a side dish that was already there.
A large table for eight was filled with food. The table seemed to sag. I opened my eyes wide and took a quick glance at the food, and both Dae-han and Dae-ryong seemed indifferent.
âLetâs eat.â
Lim Dae-hanâs father bluntly urged us to eat. It seemed that his father was quite strict. He was an example of a strict father in the drama. He doesnât laugh easily, heâs blunt toward his children, and heâs patriarchal. But that was my prejudice. This was due to the Dae-ryong, who was nearby, approaching his father right away. His father sat Dae-ryong on his thigh without saying a word.
ââŠâ
âMy son, letâs eat yamyam.â
Then, my eyes widened at his fatherâs cute act. I immediately shifted my sight to Lim Dae-han without realizing it. Lim Dae-han squinted one eye slightly and drew the chair closer to me. I nodded nervously when I noticed his chin signaling me to sit down.
âCome to think of it, I havenât asked for your friendâs name. Whatâs your name?â
âMy name is Ki Young-hyun.â
âItâs a nice name. It turned out nicely. There are a lot of things lacking here, but you can relax and enjoy.â
Lim Dae-hanâs mother spoke to me kindly. I didnât know what she mean by lacking a lot. She shouldnât have said that even out of courtesy. But, strangely, I couldnât keep up with his mother, who was much smaller than his father.
âLetâs eat.â
Lim Dae-han took a seat next to me. I was afraid Iâd eat it like in school, but there was no such thing because the side dishes were placed in separate bowls.
Lim Dae-han, on the other hand, ate well. Instead of saying this and that, Dae-ryong was busy squeezing his chubby fingers out while on his fatherâs thigh. His mother used to take a peek at me a lot. Just frantically reading those gazes and the strangely floating and chaotic air overwhelmed me.
While Lim Dae-hanâs mother was eating for a while, she asked me.
âYoung-hyun-ah, is the food suit your taste?â
âAh, yes. Itâs very tasty.â
The food was moderately seasoned. It wasnât too sweet, sour, or salty. The taste was just right so that no one would like it or dislike it. As I was vigorously eating the meal, I moistened my mouth with water. His mother smiled at me cautiously. Then she hesitated for a moment and spoke carefully.
âItâs⊠Itâs good then. But perhaps.â
ââŠâ
âYou werenât forced to come to our house, were you?â
His mother asked me with a worried look on her face. I asked back, confused.
âYes?â
âNo⊠No matter how much I think about it, Dae-han is not someone who would bring a friendâŠâ
âWhat do you mean.â
Lim Dae-han averted his gaze, which had been fixed on me. They took turns looking at Dae-han as if both his mother and father were thinking the same thing.
âItâs not like that.â
Lim Dae-han added afterward that it was unfair. I nodded slowly with an expression in agreement. At the same time, the corners of his fatherâs bluntly lowered lips rose with excitement. Hot, hot, hot! On television, there was frequently a smile that could be described as a handsome manâs.
âThatâs right⊠When did you see our son bullying the weak?â
â⊠Still.â
âHe got caught while drinking or smoking. Nonetheless, he did not bother anyone.â
I managed to raise the corners of my lips and answered his motherâs words. He didnât bother me, but it was unfortunate that his friends did something similar, which initially made the atmosphere in the classroom bleak. But it isnât anymore. It wasnât because I was his lover, but because it was the truth.
Recently, Lim Dae-han was well attached to the school and did not smoke or drink alcohol. Since we get along well together, our classmates frequently came to us to talk to Dae-han while pretending to talk to me when Dae-han and I were together. Although Lim Dae-han also maintained his characteristic sullen attitude, he managed to keep the conversation going. It was a big development.
âBy the way, why did you bring a friend? You havenât brought them with you these days.â
His mother questioned Lim Dae-han without even eating. Lim Dae-han responded with a hesitant expression.
âI bring him here because I like him.â
ââŠâ
Lim Dae-han responded as if it wasnât a big deal even though I was next to him. I stiffened as it was and glanced around him. Lim Dae-han had the same expression as usual. Heâs crazy⊠I couldnât say anything, only thought in my heart, and then carefully moved my gaze to his parents.
However, contrary to my expectations, his parents said, âOhâŠâ I looked at Lim Dae-han, who maintained his original expression of laziness and irritation at everything. He then placed his palm on the table and clashed his chopsticks with a loud clatter. He pretended to be okay, but I knew he wasnât. The tips of his ears were red as if saying, âLook at me, look at me.â
After dinner, the family sat together to eat fruit. Even when I was eating fresh and delicious fruit, I noticed his mother and father in the middle.
His father, who has big hands, grabbed the fruit that could fit easily in one hand and carefully cut the skin with a knife. Then his mother took it with a fork and handed it to me. âHe is the one whoâs good at handling knives. Iâm not good at cutting,â she said while smiling. It was a very sweet family.
Dae-ryong sat next to his father and swayed his legs. Even though he was sitting on the edge of the sofa, his feet did not touch the floor. Dae-ryong opened his mouth wide and bit the apple stuck in the small plastic fork.
I looked down at the small, round tooth marks, and when I saw such Dae-ryong, I smiled unconsciously. Dae-ryong then quickly turned his head toward me.
ââŠâ
ââŠâ
He must be felt a little bit weird that I watched him eat. IÂ averted my gaze and tilted my head to pretend I hadnât seen him. Dae-ryong, who was still staring at me, set the fork he was holding on the table and approached me. Then he took a seat between me and Lim Dae-han.
I tapped Dae-ryongâs shoulder. Dae-ryong grabbed my finger as it touched his shoulder and opened his mouth.
âMomâŠâ
âYes, son. What is it?â
âToday I⊠I want to sleep with hyungsâŠâ
My gaze met Dae-hanâs in an instant. I could feel Dae-ryongâs gaze, which alternated between us but couldnât reach us properly due to his low gaze. A fire blazed in Lim Dae-hanâs eyes. Lim Dae-han grabbed Dae-ryong, who was sitting between us and sat him on his lap. Dae-ryongâs hand, which had been entangled in my fingers, fell out. I clenched my fist and moved my index finger, feeling strangely empty.
Lim Dae-han put his hand on Dae-ryongâs tiny head and made him look straight ahead.
âNo.â
âWhat?â
âNo. Hyungs have something to talk about today, so Dae-ryong canât sleep together with us.â
Well⊠He said firmly to the child. I squinted at Lim Dae-han, who was strangely crooked and childlike to his heartâs content, and looked at him with a sour face.
Despite the fact that he definitely felt my gaze, he feigned not to notice and purposefully avoided looking at me.
ââŠOkayâ
After giving an answer after a long pause, Dae-ryong came down from Lim Dae-hanâs thigh. He shrank his shoulders and lowered his head, as well as the corners of his mouth, before slowly blinking at me. I felt sorry for the boy who was smiling because he liked his older brothers until now. Haa⊠A sigh came out of nowhere.
Dae-ryong trudged past me as if he was expressing his emotions freely. I could see his little lips protruding from his puffed cheeks like a birdâs beak. Then he climbed onto the sofa next to me, crouched, and buried his face in the sofa. He looked sad. He must have been upset. Itâs been a while since Lim Dae-han came, therefore heâd want to sleep with him.
I glanced into his parentsâ eyes as I looked at the little, curled-up body. They were both very sad.
I put my hand on Dae-ryongâs back. I lowered my body as if hugging him and whispered in his ear.
âDae-ryong, do you want to sleep with your hyung?â
ââŠâ
âHmm? Tell me, Dae-ryong-a.â
Then I rubbed Dae-ryongâs small feet with my finger, just as Lim Dae-han did before. His back jumped up when I tickled his foot one more time.
Dae-ryong looked at me as he turned his face in his hand. Then, using the armrest of the sofa as a pillow, he looked at me again and lay down. He didnât even care that his parents were there, and he then said while rubbing my shoulder with his small hand.
âI want to sleep with Young-hyun hyungâŠâ
He said Young-hyunâŠ
But because it wasnât wrong, so I didnât fix it. I had that much sense, too. Instead, I gently stroked Dae-ryongâs thin hair. I could feel Lim Dae-han poking my butt from behind, but I didnât react.
âDae-ryong, letâs sleep together.â
Dae-ryong turned to Lim Dae-han after he finished speaking and asked.
âCan I do that?â
Lim Dae-han nodded while squinting one eye while stroking his eyebrows. Dae-ryongâs face which had been gloomy, instantly brightened.
âGood for you, Dae-ryong. Young-hyun-ah, I know itâs hard, but please put up with him for one day.â
His mother asked me to look after Dae-ryong with a pleasant expression. I nodded with a confident expression.
âDonât worry. There are also Lim Dae-, Dae-hanâŠâ
I thought it was a bit odd to call him with his last name in front of her, so I switched my words. I turned my head to the other side as I felt Dae-hanâs gaze.
His mother had reorganized the table as she was about to clean up the fruits she had eaten. Just as I was trying to help his mother, Lim Dae-han grabbed my forearm with one hand.
ââŠWhat?â
When asked what was going on, Lim Dae-han tilted his head crookedly and pointed to Dae-ryong who was sitting calmly.
âTake Dae-ryong upstairs. I need to talk to my parents.â
âAh⊠Okay.â
I reached out to Dae-ryong. Dae-ryong, who had been wiggling on the sofa, rushed up to hug me. I lifted him as hard as I could. He felt strangely heavier than before after only one lunch. It wasnât quite like that, butâŠ
I hugged Dae-ryong tightly in my arms and bowed my head to his parents.
âGo in and rest.â
I returned the way I came, leaving his parents, who greeted me warmly. I organized my thoughts in my head as I made my way to Lim Dae-hanâs room.
What was Lim Dae-han going to talk about?
âAhâŠâ
It was then that I remembered the reason I came to Lim Dae-hanâs house. It was to uncover Lim Dae-hanâs secret, that was about the talk with the teacher. It would have been pretty serious if he need to talk to his parents without me⊠I didnât think I could ask. Of course, he said he would tell me, but I wasnât sure when. It must be something important. What if Lim Dae-han hiding something from me?
My self-confidence, which I had because Lim Dae-han liked me, gradually disappeared.