CH 37

“My lips hurt…”

My lips were hot. It also seemed to be swollen. Lim Dae-han turned and looked at me as we walked outside. He grabbed my chin and probed my lips. I swallowed dry saliva and looked him in the eyes. He pressed his thumb against my lips. At the same time, the waves that had risen to the beach began to fall into the sea.

“It’s pretty.”

After he finished speaking, Lim Dae-han patted my cheek and returned to the pension. I frowned, having never been told that I was pretty. I raised one of my lips at an angle and kicked the seawater at him. However, because I was the only one who stayed put, no matter how much water I sprayed, it did not reach him.

I glanced at Lim Dae-han’s back who had gone near the pension. He went to the terrace and threw off his clothes. A strong body appeared in front of my eyes.

“Shall we play with the other guys?”

He didn’t even take his clothes off when he was with me.

While we were rubbing our lips together, Lee Deok, Park Yeo-sun, and Jung Ji-pil were playing in the water almost naked.

“No, I am fine. You play with the guys.”

“Do you not like playing in the water?”

“No, that’s not it, uh, I just want to see you play.”

Lim Dae-han nodded slowly as he heard those words. Then I went to the pension alone. He was also very aggressive in the water. He picked up Lee Deok and threw him straight into the water. Lee Deok was wet and drenched in water. Le Deok then poured water on Jung Ji-pil and Park Yeo-sun, who were arguing for nothing at the time. Jung Ji-pil, who enjoys playing, attempted to spray water to Lim Dae-han, Lee Deok, and Park Yeo-sun at once, but it naturally became a confrontation between David and Goliath.

I sat on the terrace railing and watched the four of them playing. I didn’t like playing in the water that much, but in fact, the sea was actually a medicine for young people. This was due to my childhood memories of dragging the tube to places where my brother couldn’t reach. Of course, it wasn’t like my brother abandoned me or anything.

Lim Dae-han could easily pick up and toss anyone into the water. He was really strong. I somehow became gloomy like the current weather. Even though I had a good time with Dae-han until now, I was in a bad mood.

“…I should wash my feet and turn on the air conditioner.”

In the end, I turned around and turned my back on the four of them. I took off my slippers and went inside, walking into the bathroom with my heels up as much as possible to keep my feet from touching the floor.

I washed the wet areas roughly and sat on the sofa wearing only a brief and a short-sleeved T-shirt. The air conditioner was so cool that I thought I was going to sleep right away. Outside, Jung Ji-pil screaming voice was heard, “Don’t do it! Stop!”

Jung Ji-pil was outgoing and got along well with Lim Dae-han’s friends. It was not the case with me, who was still uncomfortable around them. Maybe that’s why Lim Dae-han didn’t want to bring me along. I don’t know how to play properly and I’m forcing myself.

I’ve always wanted to be with Lim Dae-han. Even now, I wished I could bring Lim Dae-han, who was still having a good time in the sea, to my room so that it would be just the two of us. I felt weird. I lay down, staring at the ceiling and pouting my lips, eventually leaning over to the back of the sofa.

I knew that Lim Dae-han was not a friendly person. He had an indifferent side, he wasn’t all that different from other kids his age. Still, I had the impression that Lim Dae-han has truly cared about me, but somehow I felt sad and disappointed. I wiggled my toes and finally closed my eyes. I was annoyed.  I knew I was bad, but I could just not show it. Everything in the world began with a clear beginning. Anyway, that’s what happened.

It was cozy and fluffy when I opened my eyes. It felt like I was buried in a cradle. I wriggled like a caterpillar and burrowed deeper into the blanket.

Blanket.

I was curled up on the blanket. It was different from when I fell asleep alone on the sofa. When I opened my eyes, I saw Lim Dae-han’s round back.

He was watching TV with his arms crossed on the sofa. He tilted his head and stretched his legs out. The face that could be seen from the side seemed unimpressed as well.

It was probably Lim Dae-han that brought the blanket.

It was unusually quiet outside. I turned to Lim Dae-han.

“Did you bring the blanket?”

Lim Dae-han tilted his head at an angle when I asked the question.

“I can see your legs.”

“What are you talking about?”

I just laughed at his words that I didn’t understand. Lee Deok and Park Yeo-sun were smoking again on the terrace. They seemed to be tired of playing now. Lim Dae-han turned completely toward me. I was lying down and pulled the blanket to my nose in case my face looked weird.

“Why are you covering your face?”

Lim Dae-han pulled the blanket down without hesitation. I’d never been able to win against him with force. As I faced Lim Dae-han, I felt the sadness I felt before falling asleep wash away like water. It was extremely a strange feeling.

He gently caressed my cheek with his hand. His hands were rough and a little strong, but it wasn’t too bad because I was just like feeling his touch.

“Crazy. It wasn’t even their honeymoon.”

A voice was heard from behind. I got up from the sofa in an awkward position. Jung Ji-pil, who was wearing a towel around his neck and short sweatpants like hot pants, was staring at us with an uncomfortable expression.

“What is that. Is that pants, or panties.”

Lim Dae-han did not hesitate to mock Jung Ji-pil as he looked through him. Jung Ji-pil covered his legs with the towel around his neck.

“I’m trying to dress comfortably!”

“Cover up your legs. They’re dirty.”

Then he looked at me while burying his cheek in the sofa. I alternately looked at Jung Ji-pil and Lim Dae-han, but I remained motionless because I was afraid I couldn’t control my facial expression. Jung Ji-pil spoke for a long time. Ki Young-hyun, the student, should carry out his responsibilities. You should know that I followed you because you were like this. Ki Young-hyun, think of your parents and brother. I’m not sure how you can do this here when you know your brother was scary. He spoke for nearly a minute before fleeing to another room as soon as Lim Dae-han changed his position.

For some reason, the two of them became awkward. I paused and gazed out the window.

“Is it raining outside?”

It wasn’t much, but it was pouring helplessly in the cloudy gray sky. I think that was why they stopped playing in the water. I had a lot of random thoughts. Lim Dae-han carelessly rubbed my cheek. It was about to crumble. At that time, Lee Deok and Park Yeo-sun came inside and said.

“Dae-han, let’s grill some meat.”

I got up slowly, thinking that I would help too. Lim Dae-han then pressed my shoulder.

“Stay inside. I’ll grill it and bring it to you.”

Did Dae-han think I was a fool? I couldn’t figure out how Lim Dae-han perceived me. Even if I was short and thin compared to him, I was not a person who couldn’t do anything. I was good at grilling meat… The meat was well cooked… The meat was also cooked to perfection.

“That’s right. You and Jung Ji-pil just need to cook ramen and come out.”

Park Yeo-sun also added. It seems that Park Yeo-sun and Jung Ji-pil didn’t talk properly, but they were calling each other familiarly. As I sat still, Lim Dae-han moved and opened the door where Jung Ji-pil was.

“Help Ki Young-hyun. We’ll grill the meat.”

“Oh, Okay.”

Jung Ji-pil moved without saying much.  Lim Dae-han and his friends went out the front door. When I first walked into the pension, there was a grill made by splitting a drum in half and a bench with a table in the space under the roof that stretched like eaves, and I think we were going to eat there.

Lee Deok, who arrived late, asked.

“How many soju bottles should I bring?”

“Bring everything in the fridge.”

Lee Deok remained silent. When I first arrived, I took out all of the bottles I had brought with me and refilled the box with soju that couldn’t fit. Jung Ji-pil and I sat next to each other, watching television. It was a humorous entertainment program, but I didn’t laugh much.

“I don’t think they’re the bad guys though.”

Jung Ji-pil hinted at it. I felt the same way.

“Yeah.”

I answered roughly. I didn’t want to continue talking.

“I think I can see why you’re dating Lim Dae-han. He’s nice.”

“…”

I was afraid to say it. Despite his harsh appearance, Lim Dae-han appeared blunt and friendly, but he was indifferent when you expected his kindness. Despite knowing this, I went on a trip with Dae-han’s friends, but I was disappointed when Dae-han played with his friends even a little. I didn’t want the other kids to know Lim Dae-han’s kindness. It was a very childish idea of an 18-year-old, two years before becoming an adult.

“Let, let’s make ramen…”

In the end, I couldn’t respond to Jung Ji-pil’s words and got up. “Ah, seriously.” Lim Dae-han complained because Lee Deok made a strange noise outside. Laughter could also be heard. I filled the pot with water and lit the stove. Contrary to the sparks that have risen, my heart has turned cold.

I could hear the door opening. I was in the kitchen, right next to the front door, and I couldn’t figure out who opened it.

“Where is Ki Young-hyun?”

It was Lim Dae-han. Jung Ji-pil, who was sitting on the sofa, pointed towards me with his chin. I made eye contact with Jung Ji-pil for a brief moment before returning my gaze to the boiling ramen water. I should add the noodles. Thinking alone, I put five noodles at once.

His footsteps were getting closer and closer. I stepped to the side and reached for the dishwasher. I took the tongs, which I’m not sure who washed it.

“Are you cooking ramen?”

“Yeah.”

I couldn’t look at Lim Dae-han, so I just stared at the noodles. Although the water was clearly boiling, the noodles did not spread easily.

“Ki Young-hyun.”

“Yeah.”

“Look at me.”

“What…”

I looked up at him. Lim Dae-han pulled me a little toward him. It was a position that would not be seen unless Jung Ji-pil pulled his head out. I was almost in his arms. Lim Dae-han’s chin rested on my shoulder. He pressed it down as if he were playing a joke.

“It hurts…”

I muttered to myself. Lim Dae-han grabbed my back hard, hugged me a little tighter, then moved away and made eye contact with me.

“Tell me when you’re done cooking the ramen, and I’ll bring you meat.”

“I’ll go out to eat.”

“You don’t like things that are too hot.”

Lim Dae-han’s fingers brushed against my bangs. I quickly covered my forehead with both hands just in case it showed my face clearly. Lim Dae-han raised the corner of his mouth as he looked at me.

“It’s all right. I’d like to go out to eat.”

“Then do it that way. When you’ve finished cooking it, call me. Because it’s heavy to hold the pot alone.”

“Okay.”

My heart was pounding so hard that I was terrified of even one of these things. Love was unbelievably harmful for the body.