I was about to head to the study again today, but Laura rushed to chase me and blocked me, so I confronted her by the door.
âIâm sorry, Madam.â
Laura put her hands together and bent so deep that I couldnât see her face. The sight made me scoff. My eyes narrowed as I stared at her, then at the door. As if Kyle was there.
âIs that what His Grace ordered?â
ââŚâ
Laura didnât speak, but there was no clearer answer. I bit the inside of my cheeks, trying to contain my anger. What the h*ll was he thinking?
Locking me in the bedroom didnât mean my will was extinguished as quickly as light in a candle.
âIâm sorry, Madam.â
I stared at Laura as she continued to bow and apologize. After everything weâd been through the past year, I thought she would do her best to help me and be on my side. I shook my head in disappointment while thinking of the past.
âLaura, how could you be like this?â
The corners of Lauraâs wrinkled eyes trembled, but when she raised her head, her eyes had hardened. Maybe she thought I was trying to commit suicide by going to the forest of Quetray.
âGet out of my way. Iâm leaving the bedroom.â
Laura stood motionless, her hands clasped together as if she couldnât stop me by putting her hand on me. I passed her and opened the door.
Luckily, the door wasnât locked, but before I could even cross the threshold, someone blocked my way.
âPlease step back.â
A handsome knight of the Harace duchy stood in front of me, barring my exit. I had never been to the barracks of the duchy, so I never met the knights personally, but I heard they were elite warriors who went to the forefront when Kyle led the war. They said the knights had skills comparable to the Imperial knights.
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Even when I tried to show off a friendly face, he didnât budge. As I looked up at him, someoneâs figure beyond the knightâs shoulder caught my eye.
âKyle?â
As usual, he looked relaxed and well-dressed. But, unlike him, my eyes were dark and sunken; it displeased me to see him looking so put together.
âYour Grace.â
At my call, he quickened his pace. Then he looked directly at me with shining gray eyes.
âWhat are you doing? I told you to kick me out!â
âDid I tell you I was kicking you out?â
ââŚâ
âI donât remember anything like that.â
As Kyle drew near, the knight guarding my door withdrew. When I looked away, the knight and Laura widened their distance from us and retreated. Even though I could hear him well enough, he came close to me to hear his breathing.
âI defintely told youâŚâ He paused, then lowered his head to whisper in my ears. A dangerous glint flickered in his gray eyes. âEven if you roll around with him in this mansion, we wonât divorce.â
My blood boiling, I glared at him. However, I wasnât even a threat to him, the so-called âhero of the battlefield.â
Kyle leaned back and tilted his face. His gaze, taking in my shabby appearance, traveled from the top of my head to the tip of my toe.
Then his eyes flashed with unfamiliar emotions. He immediately took off his jacket and draped it over my shoulder. The movement surprised me, and I turned to stare at my shoulder to try to understand what had just happened.
âYou canât leave this mansion.â
ââŚâ
âThe forest will be sealed off soon, so at least stay calm until then.â
Sealed off? My eyes widened, and all the strength left my body. I hurriedly grabbed his sleeve and approached him. His gaze moved to my hand.
âWhat did you just say?â
He looked down blankly at my trembling hands but didnât answer. His eyes seemed to tremble like my hands.
âAre you planning to barricade the forest?â
ââŚâ
âOnly just to stop me?â
ââŚâ
âWhy would you do that?â
Each time I asked a question, my voice rose. I bit my lip and stared at him, watching him as his eyes skimmed through my hands and arms and slowly went to my face. Then his eyes narrowed as if doubting what he had heard.
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âOnly? Your life is at stake.â
ââŚâ
âIf you hadnât said you would go in the first place, I wouldnât have done it.â Then he held my hand, wrapping his hand around mine.
My resentment suddenly boiled over, so I hit his hand as hard as I could, the back of my hand feeling as if it had been burned. A moment later, my hand flushed red.
As if worried about the back of my hand, Kyle furrowed his brows and said, âAelle, you need to treat your handââ
âI donât need it.â
I hid my hand behind my back, but he tracked my movements like a hawk that had found its prey. I scoffed at his contradictory behavior, yet he ignored me, staring intently at where I hid my hand.
âThis doesnât even hurt for me.â
ââŚâ
âThis isnât whatâs killing me.â
Meeting his eyes, I pushed his jacket off my shoulder and let it drop to the floor. Then, as I turned around, I saw him look down on his feet.
He stared at the jacket lying abandoned on the floor.
I sat in front of the table and stared into the void. The silence was only broken when Laura entered the bedroom and audibly sighed.
âExcuse me.â Laura approached me, grabbed my hand lying on the table, and turned it so the back of my hand was visible. She then took ointment from the medicine box she had brought and carefully applied it to the back of my hand. It was a delicate touch that conveyed her worry.
It was unpleasantâ the cold, sticky medicine on the back of my hand. Everything felt meaningless, and I moved my hand away with a shallow sigh.
âStop.â
Laura, noticing my discomfort, hesitated for a moment before saying, âHis Grace ordered it.â
Why would he be? I slowly raised my gaze and stared at Laura.
âHeâs worried.â
ââŚâ
âBecause heâs so clumsyâŚâ Laura drifted off, looked into my eyes, and continued. âHeâs been like that since childhood. He doesnât talk much and often doesnât let people know whatâs on his mind, so even I, his nanny, had a hard time with him.â
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ââŚso you want me to understand him?â
Her face fell, and she shook her head.
âI just want you to be safe.â
ââŚâ
âThatâs all I want.â
Laura tightened her grip on the medicine box and bit her lip. Neither she nor the other maids expressed concern over the atmosphere at the mansion that made them walk on eggshells, but it looked like Laura could no longer help it. After sighing once, she buried her feelings once more and stepped away from the table.
âMadam, the meal isâŚâ
âLeave me alone,â I said, turning away from her. Laura left the bedroom without a word.
After confirming that the door was completely closed, I leaned back against the hard wooden chair.
âUgh.â
I cradled my forehead, my head suddenly aching. It felt as if an arrow had pierced my temple. As I pressed my fingertips against my temple, the pain began to throb.
I sighed, closing my eyes to escape my jumbled thoughts.
âI donât care,â an empty voice leaked out. It didnât matter anymore why Kyle wouldnât divorce me. What I wanted wasnât just a divorce.
It didnât matter whether you were using me to protect Hari or because you were acting like a child whose candy was stolen from him. I could only think about the affair and the guilt about the baby.
âI have to go.â
I clenched and unclenched my hand. I needed to get out of the mansion before he blocked the forest. I rarely went outside, so no one knew my face, and I didnât have portraits that people could reference.
I couldnât shake off my nerves. I gnawed at my knuckles and narrowed my eyes.
Could I leave this mansion on my own? Takan said he would return, but he still hasnât shown up after quite a while. Was I blindly trusting him too much? Like Laura, he belonged to Kyle.
I lowered my hand, riddled with sharp teeth marks, and tapped the table impatiently.
âPlease donât die.â
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No, no. I shook my head as I remembered Takanâs voice. The groundless conviction was dangerous, but I could hear it in his voice. The note that betrayed his master was proof enough.
âThe study.â
Come to think of it, why did Takan tell me to look at the library? There were no books or articles on Quetray Forest in the library. Perhaps he had left another note there, so I stayed in the library all day and looked through the books. There wasnât a single item I didnât check.
I frowned.
âWhatâs exactly in the studyâŚâ I thought hard for a moment, then stopped at the sudden thought. âCould it be? What if the study Takan was talking about wasnât the DuchessâsâŚâ
Ha, the corners of my lips turned upwards. Looking back, Kyle hasnât stepped foot in his study since the last day Hari visited the mansion. I didnât know why, but I was certain that he had never gone to his study since.