Madame lowered her head. She probably knew she couldnât ask for another chance. She knew I was being generous by just reprimanding her and not doing anything else for insulting me.
I sighed and shook my head resolutely.
Honestly, I wanted to send her back without buying anything, but I had to choose something small at least because Kyle had sent her to me. Under the rack, I pointed to a pair of shoes that was exceptionally shiny.
âThat one.â
âYes, Madam.â
Along with Lauraâs reply, Madame sighed in disappointment.
âItâs finally tomorrow.â
Maybe because it was the day before I visited Countess Harden, but Iâve been having trouble sleeping.
I sat up and looked around the bedroom, then placed my feet on the ground. Finally, after a long time sitting in such a daze, I saw the moonlit terrace.
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âShall we go outside?â
No, I shouldnât. I shook my head, got up, and headed towards the door. I might completely wake up if the cold wind hits me.
If I feel sleepy while walking in the hallway, I can just go back to my room. I wore the robe draped over a chair and tied the ribbon around my waist with that in mind.
I opened the bedroom door and made my way through the long hallway, relying on the lamp hanging on the wall. As I aimlessly walked, I arrived at the hall on the second floor. Just like my bedroom, the hall had a terrace overlooking the mansionâs garden, but this terrace was much bigger than the one in my room.
From what Laura told me, the Duchess often held social gatherings there.
As I reached the end of the hall, the moonlight across the huge terrace shone through the hall. I wandered as if possessed by the moonlight and involuntarily looked away from the cold energy. The oval terrace window remained open.
âYour Grace?â
Kyle was leaning against the railing of the terrace and staring at something. He was dressed in a white shirt that clung to his broad shoulders and lean body. He looked indifferent to dawn.
Did he not hear my call? Kyle still had a faraway look in his eyes.
I didnât know what he was looking at but judging by his frown, I knew it was bothering him. Who was he thinking of? Hari or Louis?
It felt bittersweet that I couldnât see him after eating together and only see him from afar. I smiled and stared at him for a long time and only looked away when the chill reached my body.
I didnât want to interrupt his time. So I turned around to return to the bedroom.
âWhat are you doing here?â
At that moment, the sound of a voice stopped me in my tracks. When I turned in the direction the voice was coming from, I saw Kyleâs cool expression. His gray eyes were more severe than the moon.
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âYour Grace.â Surprised, I reluctantly walked towards the terrace.
As I approached the terrace, I paused for a moment before continuing. It felt like I was invading his space.
I only stopped walking when I reached Kyle and looked up at him, whose back was against the moonlight. Unlike his usual clean look, his shirt was unbuttoned down to the middle of his chest. A faint smell of alcohol spread over him.
âI was walking because I couldnât sleep.â
Kyle remained silent as he stared at me with gloomy eyes. I wasnât expecting an answer anyway, so I put my hands together after running it through my hair.
I pressed my fingertips together. When I was with Kyle, thereâs a strange tension in my whole body. It was different from when I was with my father. With Kyle, I felt a heart-pounding excitement.
Since I was interrupting Kyleâs time, I knew it would be unreasonable to suggest a walk. But contrary to my thoughts, my mouth was already trembling as if I would pour out words right away. Instead, I chewed my lips and raised my head in determination.
âYour Grace.â
ââŠâ
âIf you donât mind, why donât we walk around the garden together?â My voice trembled as I trailed on.
When I didnât hear a response, I nervously rambled on, âLaura told me thereâs an artificial pond, but I havenât seen it yet.
ââŠâ
âIâm curious, and Your Grace canât sleep, so letâs go togetherââ
âI thought you had a good grasp of the subject.â
My heart sank at the sound of his cool voice.
âAre we close enough to walk around the garden together?â
ââŠâ
âOr could it beâŠâ
Kyle approached me slowly, his expression as severe as before. Even if he didnât speak, I could see his displeasure, his footsteps heavy and pointed.
Kyle stopped at a close distance and stretched out a beautiful hand. Then, with his fingertips, he lifted the robe that covered my collarbone and said, âAre you trying to replace her again tonight because itâs lonely?â
ââŠâ
âIt doesnât matter to me.â
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Kyle stared intently at my disheveled outfit. For a moment, he referred to the day when I became someone else because he wanted to hug her. He dismissed the sad, miserable, and lonely day as a fleeting moment of lust.
I lowered my trembling eyelashes and held back tears. Kyle hated me anyway, so he would hate it if I showed tears like this.
I swept my tongue through my teeth, the feeling in my mouth similar to when I drank strong liquor. I disturbed him with my useless rambling. I should apologize, but my lips refused to do it.
I licked my lips several times, and then the tears that had been pooling in my eyes fell to my feet.
Kyle glanced at me.
âSorry,â I managed to croak out.
The hand holding onto my robe flinched and soon moved away. I couldnât tell how he felt because I couldnât see his face, but he probably found it absurd.
It was probably amazing to see me, a shameless woman, cry at his words. But I hugged you right away because I loved you. I couldnât even say that. I was afraid he might ask me to end the marriage.
I put my hands together, bowed my head, and turned before I showed any more tears. Although it wasnât a bedroom, it was such a long-cherished time. Talking to him face to face on the terrace.
I swallowed my tears as I comforted myself that my wish had come true.
âItâs done.â
Lils and Mas, who assisted in preparing me, stepped back and left me alone in front of the mirror. The dress came down, wrapping smoothly around the body line.
I was finally going to see the Countess of Harden.
I chose the most beautiful dresses left behind by the former Duchess and mended them every night for the past few days. Unfortunately, I couldnât get a dress from Madame, so that was the only way.
Laura was shocked, but the result was satisfactory, so she didnât say anything else after I promised never to sew again.
âIs it okay?â
As I blushed and smoothed down my dress, Laura shook her head and smiled softly. I turned around, holding the hem of the dress by hand, and stared at Lil and Mas.
âLil, Mas, what do you think?â
Lil and Mas stared at me in surprise. Why? Did I look weird? As I tilted my head, they hurriedly bowed their heads.
âI-Iâm sorry. I didnât think Madam would remember our names,â Lil stuttered, avoiding eye contact.
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âIâm sorry.â
Their answers caught me off guard. Takan received Lauraâs report and gave them a pay cut, but Laura said they thought there would be additional punishment.
Servants who insulted their masters were usually fired, and if rumors spread, it would be difficult for them to find a job. Some nobles even joke around that they prefer servants who have heavy mouths[1]Â and deaf ears to servants who couldnât work.
Laura said I was too lenient.
When I didnât say anything, Lil and Mars looked at me, the two of them looking terrified. Did they think I didnât fire them so I could harass them?
Come to think of it, I heard that Lil was bullied out of her previous employersâ house. It shocked me that it happened to her before she became an adult, and she only entered the Duchy recently.
Somehow, she seemed to hate me from the moment she met me. Did she really just hate noblemen and not me?
It wasnât my intention to harass them. I stretched my hand out to her, intending to pat her shoulder.
âLil?â
Before I could reach her, she flinched and closed her eyes.