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Ch63 - Mind in Turmoil




When Su Hansheng first entered Infinite Hell, he was like a sheet of pure white paper. All his passion and desire had been painted in mottled colors by Chongjue’s brush, stroke by stroke.
But what good could a demon possessed by evil thoughts teach him? In his past life, Su Hansheng had been wantonly indulgent, knowing more provocative words than the most debauched libertines.
Even after rebirth, when he daily dreamed of spring nights with Chongjue from his past life, Su Hansheng didn’t mind—he even enjoyed it, because from beginning to end he never thought desire was something shameful—instead, he found dragonfly-light kisses mortifyingly embarrassing.
In the familiar dream, Su Hansheng’s mind was too muddled to think clearly. He could only instinctively speak the words Chongjue had taught him to please him, lest he be tormented for so long he couldn’t sleep.
However, in today’s dream, Chongjue seemed very abnormal, his face dark as if water would drip from it, his slender hand reaching toward him coldly.
Su Hansheng’s pupils were scattered, staring blankly at that distinctly jointed hand, instinctively wanting to press against it.
Suddenly, two fingers like cold blades pressed against his forehead, and a fierce spiritual power ruthlessly charged into his consciousness like breaking bamboo.
Boom—
The Sanskrit chant was deafening.
The spiritual power of the World-Honored One of Mount Sumeru could cleanse all impurities in the world. Su Hansheng’s pupils went blank for an instant, as if a huge Buddha shadow flashed through his mind—majestic and serene.
A clear sound transformed into an invisible whip, suddenly striking him down from great heights.
The overwhelming sensation of weightlessness struck, and Su Hansheng felt as if his soul had suddenly crashed to earth. He gasped violently and staggered back onto the bed.
His ears buzzed continuously. Su Hansheng gasped repeatedly, taking a long while to come to his senses.
Chongjue stood in plain robes beside the bed, looking down at him expressionlessly like a majestic Buddha.
“Are you awake now?”
Su Hansheng’s face was streaked with tears, looking at him in confusion: “Uncle?”
Chongjue spoke with rare icy sharpness: “You still know I’m your uncle?”
Su Hansheng stared blankly for a long moment before finally realizing that the World-Honored One, who was always properly dressed, now had his robes and waist sash in disarray, looking as if he’d been molested.
Hazily recalling how that lustful ghost in his dream had suddenly acted strangely when he’d been clinging to his past-life Chongjue, Su Hansheng vaguely realized a terrible possibility. His face went blank with shock—he was even more dumbfounded now.
Chongjue said in a deep voice: “Su Hansheng, get up.”
Su Hansheng shuddered.
The last time Chongjue had called him by his full name was when he’d beaten him with a cane.
But this time it was well-deserved.
Su Hansheng silently endured Chongjue’s fury as he climbed off the bed. The moment his bare feet touched the ground, his knees went soft and he couldn’t control himself—he fell to his knees with a thud, performing a full prostration.
Chongjue didn’t help him up, watching coldly with a dark face.
Su Hansheng knelt there awkwardly, struggling to get up but his whole body was so weak he could barely support himself, as if the bone-clinging antidote’s effects hadn’t completely worn off.
Feeling the cold gaze above boring through his skull, Su Hansheng was afraid Chongjue would get angrier if he waited too long. He quickly braced himself against the bed edge and slowly stood up.
But Zhou Gushe had been too bold with her medicine. Su Hansheng’s whole body ached and felt weak—even more uncomfortable than when the bone-clinging poison was still active. Just as he’d managed to support himself on one knee, a wave of weakness hit him, making his frail body uncontrollably lunge forward. His hand vaguely grabbed something and pulled down hard.
“Thud.”
Su Hansheng was back on his knees, staring blankly at the strange object pressed under his palm.
…He’d completely pulled off Chongjue’s already-loose waist sash.
Su Hansheng: “…”
Su Hansheng felt extremely guilty. Not daring to glare at Chongjue like last time, he knelt obediently with his knees together and head bowed, not planning to get up anymore.
He’d just kneel like this.
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Chongjue was stunned.
After making this excuse, Su Hansheng himself was also dazed for a long moment, looking blankly at his hands gripping the hem of robes and the black hair scattered on the ground. Evening sunlight slanted in through the window lattice, silently falling just three inches away from him.
There was never sunlight in Infinite Hell—he was back in the mortal world.
…He’d done nothing wrong, just mistaken someone’s identity.
Su Hansheng didn’t think there was anything wrong with desire—though he’d mistakenly taken reality for a dream in his confusion, shouldn’t the biggest fault be Chongjue casually approaching his bed?
This didn’t seem to be Falling Parasol Lodge?
Oh, now Su Hansheng was even more in the right.
If he’d been sleeping peacefully at Falling Parasol Lodge, he absolutely couldn’t have wandered over to the Buddhist hall in a daze to brazenly molest the World-Honored One of Mount Sumeru!
Nine-tenths of the fault lay with Chongjue.
Su Hansheng’s bent back grew straighter and straighter, his courage growing bolder and bolder, until finally he brazenly raised his head to glare at Chongjue.
He wasn’t wrong.
Chongjue’s pupils were ice-cold, his hands at his sides gripping the prayer beads so hard they might break.
A crisp crack sounded.
Su Hansheng watched wide-eyed as two beads in Chongjue’s hand suddenly turned to powder, trickling through his fingers with only the string left hooked on his slender fingers.
Su Hansheng: “…”
He’d only hugged a neck and tugged at a waist sash—he hadn’t even forced a kiss like last time. Why was he this angry?
Su Hansheng had never seen Chongjue so furious. He wanted to run but his legs wouldn’t move, so he could only back down, saying diplomatically: “This junior has offended the World-Honored One. Whether you beat or punish me, I’ll accept without complaint.”
Su Hansheng was willing to take this beating.
Seeing the usually pain-fearing youth extending his hand with the resolve of one facing death, Chongjue’s temples began to throb with pain. His usually clear consciousness seemed covered by a sinister fog.
Su Hansheng waited and waited without getting beaten, carefully squinting one eye to look up.
Chongjue’s dark pupils seemed to flash with a cold white light as he looked at him indifferently, struggling to speak word by word: “Those… nonsensical ravings—who taught them to you?”
Su Hansheng was stunned.
Had he said nonsensical things? If he’d said anything while immersed in the dream, it would only have been some lewd words…
Only then did Su Hansheng realize why Chongjue was so furious.
Because his past-life Chongjue’s appearance was too deeply imprinted, and the World-Honored One hadn’t taken vows, Su Hansheng had always found it difficult to truly treat him as a Buddhist cultivator.
Now thinking about it, he’d spoken a bunch of lewd words to a monk who hadn’t touched meat for thousands of years—and this was an elder who’d given him his pet name. It was like being struck by lightning.
Now Su Hansheng understood what Chongjue was angry about.
An old man who hadn’t opened his desires for thousands of years—what thin skin.
“The World-Honored One is a Buddhist cultivator, like the bright moon atop a mountain that cannot be defiled,” Su Hansheng steeled himself to offer flattery, saying quietly: “You probably don’t know about our Dao cultivators’ dual cultivation methods—these are all required courses.”
Chongjue: “…”
Buddhist cultivation also had joy meditation, and Chongjue had traveled the three realms extensively with broad experience, yet he’d never heard of Dao cultivation having such “required courses.”
But Su Hansheng spoke as if it were perfectly reasonable: “An elder taught me. Once Dao cultivators become dao companions, they dual cultivate daily—spiritual power merging, souls intertwining. This greatly benefits cultivation.”
Chongjue seemed stunned by these well-reasoned words, unable to believe someone could speak so righteously about “intercourse,” and remained speechless for a long time.
Su Hansheng’s knees hurt from kneeling. Seeing that the “leader of Buddhist cultivation” seemed to have had his worldview overturned, he secretly tried to use the bed edge to attempt getting up again.
Whether from kneeling too long or the poison not yet gone, his body swayed and he toppled sideways again. Having learned from his earlier mistake—more importantly, if he tore the World-Honored One’s clothes again, this beating would definitely be unavoidable—he forcibly twisted his body at the critical moment and lunged sideways.
The youth was like a moth rushing toward flame, stumbling with half his body falling into the evening sunlight.
The midsummer evening sun was still fiery hot, blazing up in scorching flames across his body.
Su Hansheng had expected to be burned and didn’t make a sound, struggling to crawl toward the shaded area beside him.
The scent of burning flames made Chongjue suddenly snap back to awareness. Seeing Su Hansheng half-ablaze, his dark pupils contracted sharply as he struck out with spiritual power to forcibly pull him onto the bed.
The flames were instantly extinguished.
Su Hansheng wrapped his disheveled clothes tightly and took out a porcelain bottle of spirit pills from his pouch, swallowing them whole without a second thought.
The spirit pills entered his abdomen, instantly transforming into moist spiritual power that poured into his parched spiritual roots and meridians. His weak hands and feet gradually regained strength.
Chongjue saw his pale face and was about to check his pulse with a dark expression.
Su Hansheng estimated that Chongjue didn’t seem as angry as before. He awkwardly dodged his hand, staggering as he got off the bed and said carefully: “World-Honored One, may I go back now?”
Chongjue’s extended hand suddenly paused, his five fingers curling slightly before slowly withdrawing.
“You…”
The burn marks from the flames on Su Hansheng were slowly fading. He looked up: “What?”
Chongjue said: “Don’t you have anything to ask me?”
The strange flower bud growing from the companion tree, clearly still being burned by sunlight despite the bone-clinging poison being cured…
These were matters of life and death. In the vast three realms, perhaps only Chongjue could answer them for him, but Su Hansheng seemed to have no intention of asking him from beginning to end, avoiding him like a plague.
Su Hansheng shook his head.
How dare he ask Chongjue anything more? Not getting beaten today was already fortunate.
Chongjue’s eyes were ice-cold, about to say something.
The disciple token at Su Hansheng’s waist suddenly vibrated violently. A red spiritual talisman with a magpie seal drilled out and silently landed in Su Hansheng’s palm.
Su Hansheng looked down, his expression instantly changing.
The sun was setting in the west.
Su Hansheng hurriedly took out the Cloud Veils from his pouch and stuck them in his hair, saying hastily: “World-Honored One, is there anything else? The Disciplinary Hall’s Chief Enforcer wants me to come over, saying it’s urgent.”
Chongjue saw his almost jumping eagerness and rubbed his forehead.
After a long while, he waved his hand, indicating he could leave.
Su Hansheng was immediately delighted.
Though it was indeed a message from the Disciplinary Hall, it was only notification about having to call an elder to the academy tomorrow for embarrassment.
Su Hansheng hadn’t had time to be shocked before seeing a message from Xu Nanxian.
“I know about calling the elder. Come to Four Illuminations Hall—Senior Brother has something to tell you. Whether you can avoid tomorrow’s beating depends on yourself.”
From these words, Xu Nanxian apparently had confidence he could make that violent big senior brother show mercy.
Su Hansheng could use this as an excuse to escape Chongjue.
One sentence from Xu Nanxian had saved him from two beatings—excellent, excellent.
Su Hansheng bounced away happily.
Chongjue couldn’t tell whether he was eagerly fleeing from himself or if the Disciplinary Hall truly had urgent business requiring him to rush over.
From a distance, he vaguely heard Su Hansheng’s voice.
“Oh, Senior Brother Lingge, why are you here? Hahaha, birds are even nesting on your head—how long have you been sitting here?”
Zhuang Lingge said gently: “I waited for you to wake up to give you medicine.”
Su Hansheng’s treatment of peers lacked the deliberately provoking cunning he showed Chongjue, or the careful probing and flattery when backing down. When speaking, he was lively and spirited, carrying unprecedented vigor.
“Thank you, Senior Brother… oh, your horns grew out again.”
The voices gradually faded away.
Chongjue returned to the Buddhist hall expressionlessly to close his eyes and chant sutras.
Su Hansheng’s troubling breathing had long since dispersed. All around was dead silence without even insect chirping, yet he felt even more troubled.
…It was like hands gripping his heart, treating that mass of flesh like cocoon silk, desperately pulling and tearing in all directions.
The prayer beads for calming the mind had two broken by his grip, loose and unwieldy when fingering them.
Everything seemed unsatisfactory.
Chongjue’s hand fingering the beads paused. He suddenly opened his eyes and swept the messaging device from the small table before him.
He found Zou Chi’s spiritual power and sent a thread of spiritual power over.
Zou Chi seemed busy with something, taking a long time to respond.
Chongjue let the prayer beads slide through his fingers one by one.
The peak of Mount Sumeru was perpetually frozen in ice and snow. When the World-Honored One meditated, it was often for hundreds of years, passing like the blink of an eye.
But in this small Buddhist hall, a mere two quarters of an hour felt like an hourglass clogged with sand grains.
The sand fell drop by drop—each day like a year.
Finally, Zou Chi sent back a message.
Chongjue flicked his finger to open it.
“What’s gotten into you, caring about the Disciplinary Hall out of nowhere?” Zou Chi said. “I asked the Chief Enforcer—the Disciplinary Hall has no urgent matters, and the academy students are quite well-behaved. You needn’t worry.”
Chongjue: “…”
Soon Zou Chi sent another message: “But I asked one more question out of curiosity—Xiaoxiao seems to have missed too many classes and had a bunch of points deducted. He’ll have to call an elder again this time.”
Chongjue’s hand that had been spinning the prayer beads like a pinwheel suddenly stopped. The inexplicable troubled mood dispersed somewhat.
Call an elder again?
***