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Ch106 - Without Restraint




“Who’s this Chongjue you mentioned?”
“A paramour. No name, no status—purely physical lust…”
“…”
“I’m going to say it—paramour, paramour, paramour—!”
No household registration, barely acquainted, simply because of Phoenix Bone fire and an attractive appearance—seniority, gender, ethics all cast aside without hesitation for dual cultivation.
…It couldn’t even be called dual cultivation. Just a purely physical relationship.
Before when Su Hansheng clamored “Chongjue is my paramour,” Chongjue thought the child had been taught badly, learning a new word and using it carelessly.
But now, thinking it over, this word was actually the most accurate.
Su Hansheng didn’t think there was anything wrong with this, looking confused at the man who seemed completely petrified.
“Chongjue?”
Chongjue gripped the entire string of beads in his palm, five fingers exerting force until the jade beads creaked. He barely maintained his last shred of rationality remembering these were Su Hansheng’s gift, otherwise he’d have crushed them to powder.
He rubbed his aching brow before finally saying after a long while: “Mm… what happened after.”
Since they’d already… already…
A pure, meditative person like the World-Honored One couldn’t even say those two words!
Since they’d already cultivated together, the evil one should have cherished and protected Su Hansheng carefully. Given his temperament and methods, he’d probably thrive in Infinite Hell like a fish in water, not letting Su Hansheng suffer alongside him.
The reason Su Hansheng perished and was reborn again probably couldn’t be separated from Qi Jianyi.
Thinking this, Chongjue relaxed once more.
Then he heard Su Hansheng still using that story-telling, casual tone as he spoke.
“…After that, he got annoyed that I always wanted to run away. He threatened to break my legs and found chains to lock around my ankles, confining me to the bed so I couldn’t get down.”
Chongjue: “……..”
Chongjue’s face went completely pale.
Though he knew the evil one had no restraints, this was too much…
Seeing Su Hansheng’s matter-of-fact manner, not realizing how excessive the treatment he’d received was, Chongjue’s headache intensified. His chest even faintly emitted a coldness heavier than the earlier malice.
Seeing Chongjue’s expression growing worse, Su Hansheng couldn’t figure out what he’d said wrong. He simply and concisely finished the rest in a few words.
Though the youth had grown quite a bit taller, his frame was too thin. Sitting with his knees drawn up before the tall Chongjue, he still seemed like a boy who hadn’t grown up.
The evil one, Qi Jianyi, the strange illusory spacetime…
Chongjue listened until his heart nearly went numb. For a moment he didn’t know whether to be angry or heartbroken. Both emotions intertwined in his heart, truly letting the World-Honored One—who could remain composed even if Mount Tai collapsed—experience what it meant to have mixed feelings.
After Su Hansheng finished speaking about drowning himself, he saw Chongjue’s expression was unprecedentedly terrible. Thinking he’d changed his mind, he hugged his knees and looked at him timidly.
Chongjue stiffened, struggling to quickly sort his emotions into a clear thread. Trying his best to stabilize his feelings, he spoke warmly: “…Don’t be afraid. You did nothing wrong.”
The one at fault was Qi Jianyi who pushed him into the abyss.
Adding fuel to the fire was the evil one’s madness dragging him even deeper into the mire to sink and rot together.
From beginning to end, Su Hansheng had no real choices. He’d always been pushed forward involuntarily by various people and events.
Even in that illusory spacetime it was the same. He seemed to choose to drown “Su Xiaoxiao,” but in truth fate never truly gave him the right to choose.
If he hadn’t “possessed,” he would have remained trapped in that bizarre spacetime, repeating the cycle endlessly, never able to achieve rebirth.
It seemed Su Hansheng chose to drown himself and take his place, but thinking carefully reveals the bone-chilling truth: in that illusory world, aside from “possession,” Su Hansheng had no other path to walk.
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Su Hansheng shook his head: “Not afraid.”
Though he didn’t know which moment Chongjue was asking about, whether it was self-destructing to death or drowning himself in that illusory spacetime, his state of mind had always been joyful.
Excited and happy about the imminent liberation.
The irritation and anxiety in Chongjue’s heart grew even stronger. Thinking carefully, he realized this emotion wasn’t directed solely at the evil one.
But also at himself.
Recalling his reunion with Su Hansheng three years ago, he’d arbitrarily and firmly decided the newly awakened Su Hansheng was a possession ghost, then coldly knocked the soul right out of him.
Chongjue didn’t dare think about what Su Hansheng must have felt then.
Their subsequent interactions too.
In his past life, Su Hansheng had been corrupted by the evil one from Infinite Hell. Yet after rebirth, seeing what he thought was the same person, Chongjue used methods and principles completely different from the evil one’s, vainly attempting to forcibly straighten Su Hansheng out.
No wonder Su Hansheng sometimes acted mad. Anyone would go crazy.
Chongjue’s heart ached. He tentatively tried to reach out and embrace this person who’d suffered too much, but his hand froze in place the moment it extended.
No matter how unwilling to admit it, the World-Honored One of Mount Sumeru knew clearly in his heart—as if clouds had parted to reveal mist—that the embrace he wanted to give was not that of an elder toward a junior.
But rather pity and guilt toward someone his heart moved for.
These were entirely different sentiments.
Su Hansheng looked at Chongjue’s slightly raised hand in confusion: “What?”
Chongjue withdrew his hand, speaking softly: “You won’t need to be afraid in the future. I’ll be by your side.”
A casual remark, yet Su Hansheng froze in place, tilting his head to watch Chongjue for a long while, as if judging the weight of his words.
After a good while, he finally showed tonight’s first genuine smile: “Alright.”
The youth’s face still carried signs of illness, but when he smiled gently, he was more beautiful than plum blossoms blooming in winter.
Chongjue was dazed for a moment before suddenly and without warning raising his hand to pull Su Hansheng’s thin body into his embrace.
Su Hansheng paused, feeling this embrace was different from all previous ones.
He didn’t think much of it, only assuming Chongjue felt pity after hearing so many tragic stories.
Su Hansheng wasn’t the type to use suffering to gain sympathy. If Qi Jianyi hadn’t used this to threaten him, perhaps he’d never let Chongjue know even the slightest bit until death.
After the truth came to light, that Chongjue held no grudge against him was already great fortune.
Su Hansheng wasn’t quite used to Chongjue’s proactive affection from pitying him. He just wanted to turn the page quickly. Clearing his throat, he changed the subject: “Will you continue your seclusion after this?”
Chongjue stroked the back of Su Hansheng’s head, inhaling his fresh scent of grass and trees. Instinctively holding his breath, his voice grew even warmer: “No need. In a few days I’ll return to Wendao Academy with you.”
After tonight’s great sorrow and great joy, Su Hansheng had no energy left to act out mischievously. Even speaking lacked strength.
But hearing this promise, he couldn’t help the happiness in his heart. His eyes curved as he raised his arms to return the embrace around Chongjue’s lean waist.
“If I cause trouble again, I won’t get beaten by Big Senior Brother anymore, right?”
Chongjue’s body suddenly stiffened.
Su Hansheng quickly withdrew after the brief hug.
After Chongjue learned the truth without casting him into Infinite Hell, this gave the constantly anxious Su Hansheng enormous security, and also helped him vaguely find a rare sense of belonging in this world.
Seeing him leave, Chongjue’s hand froze in midair for a while before imperceptibly withdrawing. Seeing the heavy weariness on Su Hansheng’s face, he said: “Are you tired?”
Su Hansheng nodded.
Chongjue reached out his hand toward him again: “Then I’ll…”
Send you back?
But Su Hansheng nimbly scrambled up from the ground, showing none of the weakness from earlier when Xu Nanxian had to carry him back to his room.
Chongjue: “…”
Su Hansheng was still thinking about Qi Jianyi coming to find him tonight. But seeing Chongjue sitting there about to enter meditation, after much hesitation, he surreptitiously issued an eviction order.
“It’s so late. Aren’t you going to rest?”
For some reason, Chongjue glanced at Su Hansheng, lowering his gaze to rub the beads in his hand, giving a flat “Mm.”
Su Hansheng was confused.
After three years apart, why had Chongjue’s thoughts become even harder to fathom?
Su Hansheng probed: “Then… then I’ll go rest first.”
Chongjue nodded.
Su Hansheng walked back to the inner chamber, looking back every three steps.
There was no movement in Hanmang Garden, only the sound of melting ice dripping onto the ground like rain, sounding from time to time.
Su Hansheng tossed and turned for a full half hour. Figuring Chongjue should have left long ago, he tiptoed down from the bed and carefully cracked the window open to peek outside.
Before his gaze even swept out, a familiar voice sounded.
“What, can’t sleep?”
Su Hansheng: “…”
Su Hansheng’s hand trembled, nearly knocking the window open.
He awkwardly pushed the window half open, unsurprisingly seeing Chongjue still sitting in the same place, not having moved half an inch.
Su Hansheng stammered: “You… why are you still here?”
Chongjue closed his eyes, fingering his beads, speaking flatly: “Sleep. I’m here. No one will harm you.”
Su Hansheng: “…”
I… I want to go harm someone else.
Su Hansheng was accustomed to pretending to be obedient. His instinct was to hide his killing intent from Chongjue. But then he reconsidered.
Wait, Chongjue already knew his true nature. Why should he hide his plan to kill Qi Jianyi?
Su Hansheng had completely thought it through. He pushed open the other window as well, speaking candidly: “I don’t want to sleep. Qi Jianyi said he’d come find me tonight. I’m waiting for him.”
Chongjue’s brow furrowed lightly as he turned to look at him: “You still want to see him?”
Su Hansheng nodded, answering casually: “What’s wrong with seeing him?”
Chongjue spoke coldly: “No.”
Su Hansheng froze, looking at him in confusion, thinking he’d misheard.
“What?”
Chongjue was also stunned after speaking.
If it were before, even if the virtuous one detested Qi Jianyi, he wouldn’t have said this “no” so decisively without a single wasted word.
Chongjue had spent three years in seclusion barely merging a small portion with the evil one, but tonight—because of the irritation and malice that arose—it seemed to accelerate the process, with more and more of the evil one flowing smoothly into his body.
Chongjue gripped his beads tightly again, speaking coldly: “He clearly knew you suffered greatly in your past life. As the main culprit, he still threatened you with your suffering to force household registration. This person’s character is vile—truly not a good person. Even with a betrothal card, you cannot register with him. You should…”
He cleared his throat before continuing: “Try to avoid associating with such people.”
These words were perfectly reasonable both emotionally and logically.
Chongjue thought Su Hansheng had listened, but saw him tilting his head, wearing an expression of pure innocence as he asked: “According to Uncle’s meaning, someone who knows I suffered and feels pity and affection—that’s a good person?”
Chongjue: “…”
Chongjue’s expression remained cold, yet beneath his robes his heart pounded with that candid remark.
Su Hansheng’s words seemed the same as when he’d intentionally teased his uncle before—all his mischief showing on his face, wanting to stir ripples in the World-Honored One’s frozen pond. But because his methods were too crude, they rarely had any effect.
Now this casual remark—devoid of any seductive flirtation—nearly made Chongjue lose his composure instantly. He even suspected Su Hansheng was deliberately provoking him.
The World-Honored One seemed to struggle between reason and emotion before about to answer.
Su Hansheng said “Ah,” laughing as if nothing had happened: “I was confused. How can they be compared? Just because someone pities me, must I pledge myself? Then I’d have paramours all over the world, wouldn’t I?”
Chongjue: “…”
Su Hansheng leaned against the window, secretly observing Chongjue’s expression the whole time, his feet practically pushing off the ground wanting to climb outside for a closer look.
Chongjue lowered his eyes to look at the lotus pattern on his sleeve, concealing the complex emotions in his heart.
Just then, those dark blue eyes flashed with a strange snowy color. Chongjue’s brow furrowed lightly. Instinctively looking toward Hanmang Garden’s entrance, he rose abruptly.
Su Hansheng was startled, nearly tumbling headfirst out. He quickly steadied himself, feigning composure: “Wh-what? Did I say something wrong?”
“No.” Chongjue withdrew his gaze, the earlier complexity gone. He spoke warmly: “Since you don’t intend to register your household with him, I’ll retrieve the betrothal card for you.”
Su Hansheng: “Huh?”
Chongjue was succinct: “Go to sleep.”
With that, he stepped forward directly, his plain white kasaya sweeping past dew-covered orchids nearby as he walked leisurely toward the garden’s exit.
Su Hansheng was still confused.
But just as Chongjue reached the entrance, a soft knocking sounded at the gate.
“Hansheng.”
It was Qi Jianyi.
Su Hansheng was still in a daze when Chongjue had already pushed open the door and walked out.
The gate closed gently. A Mahayana stage barrier instantly enveloped the vast Hanmang Garden.
Su Hansheng hurriedly put on his shoes and ran out, but before he could approach the entrance, an extremely gentle wind blocked his path. He couldn’t hear even a sound from outside.
This domineering approach wasn’t quite like the World-Honored One of Mount Sumeru.
But it was something the evil one would do.
***
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