Outaishihi ni Nante Naritakunai!! Chapter 250
Queen and Dispelled Doubts
I lost my way in a blind alley.
I feel lost ever since the day I thrust away my son and shook off my husband.
A country southwest of Wilhelm. Thatâs the country I come from.
Because our country borders Sahaja, our country has always been afraid of their aggression.
Our country canât really be called small, but there have been concerns about its military power.
Especially because the current King of Sahaja is a vigorous man called the Invader King, we didnât know when his attention would turn to us.
In those circumstances my father, the King, made a decision to marry his daughter, me, to the Crown Prince of Wilhelm.
I would marry him in exchange for protection, it was a common story.
Of course I readily agreed.
Having been born royalty I understood itâs natural to marry for the sake of the country, and if the peace could be maintained with just my marriage, it wasnât something to be troubled about.
Fortunately, although Wilhelm accepts polygyny, the Crown Prince didnât have a concubine yet. It was encouraging I would be the first one heâd marry.
And so the engagement was decided, and the wedding would take place after a year.
I went to Wilhelm for the engagement ceremony, and there for the first time I saw the face of a person who would be my husband, butââ.
What a beautiful person he was.
A beautiful countenance with blond hair and blue eyes. His appearance as he smiled at me was more than enough to send the heart of the young girl, who hadnât known of love, pounding.
Wanting to accept the marriage for the sake of the country no matter what, I hadnât looked at the portrait of my marriage partner even once, so that my determination wouldnât falter.
Thatâs why I had been unaware, but he looked more beautiful than any man Iâd seen so far.
My marriage partner, the Crown Prince of Wilhelm, Lord Johannes, met my eyes. He froze for a moment, then broadly smiled. Without hesitation he knelt before me and even though it was still before the engagement ceremony, he spoke the words used during it.
âI am Johannes van de la Wilhelm. I am honored to be able to welcome you as my consort.â
Understanding that Iâm welcome, I felt relieved and told him my name according to the formalities.
The wedding would take place a year after the engagement ceremony. I wanted to slowly mentally prepare in my country.
However, when the engagement ceremony finished and I was preparing to go back to my country, Johannes told me with a smile.
âMistress Elizabeth, I would like you to remain in Wilhelm until the wedding.â
I was puzzled by the sudden words.
Until the wedding, that is to say I wonât be able to return to my country anymore.
I was surprised since I hadnât heard about that before. When I looked at Lord Johannes who would be my husband, he casually said.
âThe common sense and just about everything is different between your country and my country. If you suddenly become the Crown Princess, you will often be confused. I would like you to use the year before the wedding to familiarize yourself with this country.â
â⌠If Lord Johannes says soâŚâ
I was about to say that I wanted to go back, but I held back.
Itâs decided that I will marry this person. I should fulfill my husbandâs wishes to the utmost, and considering that he would protect my homeland afterwards, I couldnât refuse.
I was able to agree to what I was told.
I regretted that I wasnât able to properly say goodbye to my parents, since Iâd thought Iâd go back home immediately, but thinking about my role I knew what to prioritize.
When I agreed, saying that he was glad, Lord Johannes smiled happily.
Although it was a political marriage, there was nothing to complain about my arranged partner.
Considering the possibility that I could become the second wife of a king who entered old age, it was the very best conclusion that I would marry a young crown prince of a large country as his princess consort.
On the day I came to Wilhelm I swore this to myself and, excited, went to bed in the prepared bedroom. With my eyes closed I thought to do my best tomorrow.
However, on that day I hardly got any sleep.
The reason is, during the night Lord Johannes crept into the bedroom where I was sleeping.
Naturally I couldnât refuse my husband-to-be who Iâd had the official engagement ceremony with, and despite my lack of mental preparations I was embraced by Lord Johannes. I absolutely didnât expect he would do this without waiting until the wedding.
âL, Lord JohannesâŚâ
Lord Johannes smiled at me, who was thrown into confusion.
The tone of his voice sounded like he was soothing me.
âWe had the official engagement ceremony. And Elizabeth, you will remain in this country until the wedding. You wonât return to your home country. I donât think thereâs any reason for us not to embrace.â
âT, thatâs true, butâŚâ
While confused I was pushed down, and like it was natural Lord Johannes embraced me, who didnât know anything. He didnât finish at ejaculating once, he soon got used to it and his hot liquid was poured into my innermost place over and over.
Of course, when I woke up in the morning the condition of my body was terrible. My whole body hurt, and I felt discomfort like something was caught in my crotch. I couldnât even move. Just recalling that dreadful intercourse made me afraid, but I shook my head that it should be alright.
Surely, only the first night would be like this.
The next time it shouldnât be so dreadful.
Actually, when I afterwards heard the explanation about the magical seal that appeared called the Royal Flower, I came to the conclusion that Iâd been embraced so many times despite it being my first time for that sake.
After all, the situation was special. From the next time onwards, he surely wonât desire my body so unreasonably. I thought so.
That was nothing but my wrong impression.
Starting from the first night, the curtain rose on my nightmarish days.
I completely got used to the wet feeling deep inside my body.
After connecting our bodies on the night of the engagement ceremony, Lord Johannes desired me almost every night.
After one year had passed and we got married, it even happened during the day.
My mind was gradually getting exhausted from the act that repeated almost every day.
Thatâs how much I was desired. Surely, I wasnât disliked.
But, despite being desired so much, he hadnât said it to me even once.
Itâs a political marriage. I donât have the luxury of wanting him to tell me loves me.
However, it shouldnât be a sin to wish heâd speak a few gentle words to me. Even though I understood it was my duty, it was painful to only be desired.
Court ladies were delighted by Lord Johannesâs deep affection, but I didnât think that was the case. He just desired my body. I couldnât feel anything but that.
The excitement I felt at first had already been buried in the depths of my heart, now every day only felt depressing.
Still, I endured and somehow managed to get pregnant and give birth to a son.
I was relieved to have finally fulfilled my duty, and yet.
Lord Johannes mercilessly forced himself on me, who had already fulfilled the minimum of her duty. I sincerely thought that my duty as a wife got harder than before.
I donât want it. I donât want such an unloving sex anymore.
I fulfilled my duty as a queen. Thatâs why I want to be set free already.
I was driven to the wall until my limit, and at one point I exploded and rejected both my husband and my son.
Iâll never forget their hurt faces at that time.
Even though it was me who shouldâve been hurt, a heartrending feeling of guilt welled up.
I wanted to immediately apologize.
The words I just said were all a lie. I love my son, and I donât dislike my husband. I just wanted to spit out those bottled up emotions. I just wanted to be treated gently by my husband.
But the words once said cannot be erased.
My son, who didnât do anything wrong, ran away with a shocked face. I shouldâve immediately followed him, but I already couldnât even do such a simple thing. I was exhausted.
I just stood there petrified as Lord Johannes bowed his head saying he was sorry for what happened until now and left the room.
Only I was left on the spot.
When I came to, everything was over.