CH 90

Earnest feelings are really strong, regardless of how pure they are.

The former Mariabell dyed her hands with many evil deeds to get her hands on the one she desired.

Her unsightly acts made you want to cover your eyes but she was always serious. Seriously hurting and seriously enjoying herself.

And so, Christine-sama is the same. She seriously wants to defeat me. She doesn’t care how I feel, but she wants to push me aside since I seem like I’d get in the way of her standing next to Runa. Without asking others, selfishly, for her self-satisfaction. That’s why she can go so far and be so straightforward. She is moving seriously in a straight line, changing into whatever will help her fulfill her goals.

If this were a shoujo manga, Christine-sama would be the heroine and I would be the rival. Well, this is the world of an otome game and I was originally the villainess, so it’s not far from that.

However–sorry– there is one important point that differs.

Whether it’s a shoujo manga, an otome game, a heroine, a rival, or a villainess, there’s something they all have in common.

I don’t even like Runa; I’m not even aiming for him out of self-interest!

“That’s all I wanted to talk about. I didn’t want to win without saying anything and then tell you ‘a loser like you is unsuitable’ afterwards.”

I wish you had told me sooner. Well actually, I wanted you to win without dragging me into it. If you were going to go and have misunderstandings on your own, you should have just misunderstood my intentions and gone ahead and won the match on your own.

By the way, if it were Mariabell, she would have done that. She would have won and then after the match she would have dragged her target in and started throwing insults at them. In the game, the heroine ended up competing but if she hadn’t, Mariabell definitely would have used the opportunity to insult her. Mariabell was a shoo-in to win after all.

“Well then, good day to you.”

“Eh, wai-”

Nothing is alright…! Hold on, don’t just end the conversation!

I wanted to say that, but the words were stuck in my throat. I really wanted to say it but, I couldn’t think of anything to say afterwards. In the end, I just had a useless hand raised towards Christine-sama’s back as she walked out the door and disappeared.

Well, no matter what I say, she probably wouldn’t believe me.

Being Runa’s fiancée, it’s a position that would cause hands to come out of many noble ladies’ throat. [TN: hands coming out of your throat is an imagery for desire] If Runa were scum or trash, I wonder if it would be different… In reality, he’s cool, calm, has a strong sense of justice, and is a deep, earnest lover…?. His appearance alone makes him someone to be sought after.

Well, not for me.

“This is the worst…”

Written as the utmost evil, the worst. [This is a reference to kanji, 最悪 is written using the characters the utmost and bad/evil]. My life in the automode was the worst, but that word suits the present situation right now.

Right now, in my head, there are three evils circulating. There are three ultimate terrors destroying me and I feel like I’m falling apart. Each and every one together is the ultimate Gestalt destruction. [TN: Honestly I have no idea what she’s saying. Gestalt is a psychology thing about parts coming together as a whole. So, I think she’s saying that the three terrors together are magnifying each other.]

“Ah…”

Come to think of it, Keito is waiting for me. That was the only thing the last of my logic could muster. How long did I spend talking to Christine-sama? It felt like I was talking to her for three hours but…. maybe it was only thirty minutes.

It felt like a long time ago that I was playing in the dirt with Keito, but in reality it was just a bit ago. My daily life quickly went from normal to hell in a split second.

Anyway, I should quickly return to Keito.

I rewashed my hands again to calm my fingers, which had become cold.

×　×　×　×

“Welcome back, you’re late.”

“……….”

“……. Maria?”

Thanks to Keito’s voice, I was able to snap out of it and gather myself. My mind had gone blank due to my encounter with Christine but, it looks like it returned.

Keito’s voice calmed me down and so my feet stopped moving. Keito, who had stood up from the bench, could tell that something was wrong when I didn’t approach him. My heart was not here. The sight in front of me seemed so far away. It looks like the damage from earlier events still remained.

“Did something happen?”

With his own bag and my bag slung over his shoulder, he peered into my face. He got closer to my face than normal. “His face is as pretty as always,” I thought for some reason.

His tone was without doubt and full of assertion; was he asking a question or interrogating me? Usually he would be strong and fearless, but a rare expression of bewilderment was on his face.

Due to the shock, my brain wasn’t working properly but, I was still surprised by Keito. I have cried and clung to him before, and when I tried to hide I would definitely get caught, but I’ve rarely acted so listlessly before. The way I’m acting right now, even people besides Keito would be able to tell that something was wrong.

“Hey, Keito.”

“Yeah, what?”

“Is there a way to catch a cold and sleep for four days during the school festival?”

“…. What?”

He was making another rare, puzzled face. I often surprise or amaze him, but never like this, especially not over and over again. It was certainly a valuable expression.

I was about ten percent serious about what I said though. It wasn’t really that crazy but, I really do want to crush my health somehow.

“… It’s impossible… I think. Appointing a specific day is impossible, but first of all, Maria, you don’t catch colds.”

“Yeah, I thought so…”

“It’s a different story if a cold is going around though… You’ve only ever caught a cold once right. And that was because you caught it from me.”

I think that happened when I was around 6 years old. I had a very high fever so my memory is a little fuzzy, but I remember Keito being the first one to be stuck in bed. We were together every day, so I caught it. Apparently I was scolded by the doctor, and Keito came to apologize to me too.

I didn’t mind at all though… I do remember him worrying too much about it. Besides, Keito was in elementary school so he probably caught it from someone there. Or maybe he got it from somewhere else. In the first place, I went and caught it on my own anyway.

Above all, thanks to that experience of my body breaking apart, I didn’t have to go to Soleil-sama’s birthday party… Though in the end I had to go to Runa’s birthday party and had the worst encounter anyway.

Since that one time, I’ve never gotten sick again and have had a healthy body. Maybe it’s because I didn’t interact with other people much, so when Keito got sick in elementary school I ended up catching it. And so, because of that one time, Keito never let me come near him ever again if he was sick.

“Maybe I’ll fake it.”

“Faking something like that is impossible, right?”

“Uwaaaa….”

There’s nothing I can do, I can’t think of a single solution. If I can’t rest in my room, then I have no choice but to withdraw… It seems like if I do, it’ll get even more troublesome in the future.

Most importantly, all events conducted on campus are managed by the student council. There are people who handle the entrants but, the student council handles all information. The special feature of the culture festival is the contest so the names of the participants are definitely being leaked. So, my natural enemy is there. There’s no way HE would let such an interesting development escape from him.

Furthermore, if I show an attitude where I don’t want to appear in the contest, he would happily make plans to force me to appear. He’s that kind of man. Someone who is familiar with the underworld would know exactly what people dislike. A person who knows pain can become kind, but that also means they know exactly what people hate after all.

So, if I act like I hate it in front of him and say it to him straight, there’s no way I would be able to escape and he would definitely make me appear on stage. He would close all the doors and block every means of escape. No doubt.

“Seriously, what’s wrong? What happened?”

“…. It seems like… I’ll be appearing in the Ozcon…”

As the words left my mouth, I could fear the despair within me grow…. Not saying it out loud was my final form of resistance. I had a little bit of hope that there was a possibility of it not happening. By the way, I am definitely not lucky.

Maybe the words that came out of my mouth weren’t easy to understand. Keito still had a puzzled expression. I could see that he didn’t seem to comprehend my words. I feel the same, seriously, I understand what you’re feeling.”

“Umm… Why?”

“That’s what I want to know.”