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Chapter 4.6




I walked up the stairs and stood in front of Akari’s room.
“I have a lot to say…”
I have a lot more to tell Akari than Nanami.
What I’ve done, what I did yesterday, and what happened today.
I don’t know how she will react, anyway…
“Akari…”
I knock on the door.
I usually sneak into her room, but today, I’m going to do it with manners.
“… It’s fine, come in.”
A few moments later, Akari opened the door for me.
“Yeah, sorry to bother you.”
It was a familiar room. The memory of reading her notes here almost every day for two years suddenly comes back to me.
Following her instruction to sit down, I sat down on the cushion she had prepared. In the same way, she sat down in front of me across the desk. It was the first time we’ve faced each other head-on like this except at the dinner table.
… Well, first things first.
“First of all, thank you. About earlier, if you hadn’t come, I probably wouldn’t be able to return.”
“… Hm”
If she had not come, Nanami and I would have crossed the line. If that had happened, our relationship can’t return to normal. And it would’ve made things tough for all of us.
“Well, I noticed that from the app…”
She took out her smartphone and showed me.
“When did you install this app?”
“… Friday night. Because the next day, you said you were going on a date, so I prepared it to follow you.”
The next day was the day I went on a date with Nanami.
I wondered how did she interrupt us at the most inopportune time, but I guess she was listening to the whole conversation…
“Well, I also wanted to tell you everything. Cut to the chase.”
When I told her that, Akari shuddered.
She knew that the main topic of the conversation was about yesterday.
“First of all, everything I said yesterday is true. When I was in the third year of junior high school, I went to your room to borrow some textbooks, and I happened to find that notebook.”
“… Did you read it?”
“Yeah, I was hesitant to read it without permission… But when I saw “Onii-chan Note,” I couldn’t control my curiosity… And that’s how I found out about you. About the wiretapping, about the cameras, about everything.”
“… But I didn’t notice it at all. Onii-chan, you never showed any signs of it.”
“At first I thought it would be better to talk to mom and dad about it. But I couldn’t do it. I didn’t know how they would feel, and I thought I should just keep it to myself.”
“Is that so.”
“I thought that if we graduated without any problems and moved away from each other, your love for me would disappear. That’s what I used to believe… But then the other day, I found a notebook with your plans written in it, and I realized that if I didn’t do anything, I would be in big trouble.”
Yes, if I hadn’t known about the plan, I would still be living the same life as before. I wouldn’t have pretended to go out with Nanami, and we wouldn’t have been chatting like this.
“You know Akari when you distanced yourself from me and was trying to show everyone that we didn’t get along. I decided to do the opposite and get closer to you. That way, your plans could’ve been failed.”
When I told her that, she said in a quiet voice,
“… Onii-chan, you were trying to stop my plan, right? If that’s the case, you’ve succeeded. I don’t want to go through with that plan anymore.”
She said it…
I had a suspicion that my plan would fail, but it turns out that it was successful.
“At first, I was unsure. I was so happy that you were talking to me, and I had to ignore you because of my plan…”
I knew that because it was written in her notes.
I knew that she was confused and that she found the situation difficult.
“When I heard that Onii-chan had started dating Haruse-san, I thought I couldn’t go on like this. And before executing my plan, Onii-chan would be taken away from me. So I decided to start talking to you again.”
“… I see why your attitude changed all of a sudden. So you’re saying that you didn’t want to carry out the plan anymore?”
“No, I won’t do that anymore.”
… Oh, thank God. I’ve been through so much today, but I think I’ve accomplished my original goal.
When I was relieved, Akari continued,
“I like you, Onii-chan. But I also know that it’s not normal. I know that siblings can never be together and that I shouldn’t have these feelings. But I still couldn’t give up on you. Because I like you because I love you. I couldn’t erase those feelings.”
“That’s why you made that plan?”
“… Yes. I thought that if it was not normal, then the only way we could be together was unusual. The reason why I was writing notes, using cameras, and listening in was that I was having a hard time keeping you at a distance and I wanted to relieve my loneliness.”
Akari had always known that the feelings she had were wrong.
But she still liked me more than anyone…
“Thank you, Akari.”
“… Why?”
“No, I just wanted to thank you for loving me.”
I finally realized that I was genuinely happy about Akari’s affection.
“I didn’t want to make everyone sad,” it was just an excuse. Maybe that’s why I overlooked her actions until today.
“I love you too, Akari. As siblings, of course, but that feeling hasn’t changed since we were little… Well, I’d be more than happy if you won’t spy on me anymore. I’m kinda glad that you like me. Yup.”
When I was in junior high school, I was so sad because all of a sudden she stopped talking to me.
But not anymore, I’m glad we’re back to normal.
I couldn’t give up on her.
Maybe it was all because I cared about her so much.
“Umm, Onii-chan…”
“Hm?”
“You don’t hate me, right?”
“Why?”
“I’m your sister, so maybe you hate that I have these feelings for you because…”
“—It’s not normal, right?”
As if to interrupt her, I said the words I wanted to say the most today.
“Yesterday, you said the same thing, right? It’s not normal. But I can’t decide who you should like or not. Nor I’m asking you to hate it. Yesterday, you left without listening to me until the end, and I was wondering what to do, but I’m glad I told you now.”
At first, I was just confused.
I didn’t know how to face the fact that my sister had taken a liking to me. That’s all I could think about.
“… You don’t mind if I continue to love you, Onii-chan?”
“Yes, it’s okay. I will never hate you… However, if possible, I’d like you to refrain from spying or making strange plans in the future… Haha!”
You shouldn’t spy on people. Never.
“I’ll always love you, Onii-chan. Even if you never look back at me, I’ll love you forever.”
“It’s up to you, so I’m not going to say anything. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to live up to your wishes, and I hope that someday you’ll fall in love with someone other than me, but… yeah, I don’t mind if you stay that way for a while.”
Whether it was Akari or Nanami. Maybe it would have been better to reject both of them outright.
I don’t know if I’ll be able to return their feelings, and I feel like I’ll just keep doing things half-heartedly.
But I don’t think I made the wrong choice.
Because. They both gave me such a beautiful smile.
“—Oh, by the way, Onii-chan…”
When I finished talking and was about to go back to my room, Akari stopped me in the hallway.
“How did you do things with Haruse-san?”
“How far you say…”
“A while ago. How far did you go before I arrived?”
Oh, so that’s what… she was talking about.
As I was wondering how I should respond, Akari gave me a huffy look and said,
“Maybe you crossed the line…”
“No! No! That’s never happened! Just a kiss, yeah. It was just a kiss!”
There was a little more to it than that, but I couldn’t answer… honestly.
“… I see, you kissed.”
But I guess she didn’t like my answer.
Her voice turned much colder, and she looked like when she intimidates her followers.
“But that was unavoidable…! And after that, Nanami apologized to me.”
As I desperately tried to patch up my excuse…
“Chuu~”
Suddenly, a soft touch pressed on my lips.
“…!?”
When I came to my senses, her lips were right in front of me.
… Wha— Wha— What?
“~~~~”
While I was confused, she went back to her room, hiding her blushed face.
I did nothing but stand there in a daze for almost fifteen minutes.
The summer of my second year of high school.
I kissed my childhood friend and my little sister.