CH 8

Confession

“I understand the general idea now. In essence, you are saying that this world is not real, but a fantasy world that is gradually invading the real world, correct?”

“Yes, exactly! This world is fake! Everything in it is fake. The sun, air, water, temperature and everything else you can sense is fake. You can consider it similar to a bubble. Can you imagine a bubble within a bubble? See, the bubble within the bubble doesn’t affect the bubble outside. Now, however, the bubble within has expanded and expanded; consequently, it’s impacting more and more people. If the bubble within and bubble outside completely fuse, both bubbles will end up exploding. Both the world I come from and our current world will both be destroyed. My goal in coming here is to locate the origin of the b-.”

Mera cut him off with a soft laugh: “In that case, you must have located the origin by now, right? If it is as you say and that the origin of the bubble originates from someone around you, you know who it is now, right? What are you still hesitant about, then?”

“Because…”

The man gently balled his fist on the table. He had something to say but refrained. Mera gently placed her hands on his fist. He reacted surprised. Mera smiled: “Say whatever it is that you want to say. I do not know why you are telling me these things. As you are willing to inform me, why do you not continue? I do not know what relationship we have in your world. Regardless, you must have wanted to tell me this if you came here. That being the case, you should give me the entire story.”

Nostalgia and sorrow suffocated him. For a moment, Mera was surprised. She never knew a human’s eyes could hold so much emotion in them. If she had to compare, she would compare it to a well that contained years and years of sadness that had sunk to the bottom. Despite the sorrow belonging to the man, she, herself, was on the verge of tears and suffocation due to the sorrow.

“In that world, the so-called real world the man spoke of, what sort of relationship do I have with him? If we were in love, why would he be so sad? What exactly happened between us? I am eager to know. I really want to know,” thought Mera.

“You’re just as you were in the past. Oh, pardon, I meant in my world. Whenever I’m at a loss for what to do, you’ll be there for me to encourage me. When I want to say something, you’ll be able to tell. You were always there to encourage me in my world.”

The man grabbed hold of Mera’s hand and solemnly continued, “Because I can no longer decide which world is better… You know, in my world, in other words, the so-called real world, you’re dead, and I was the one who killed you with my own hands. Even now, I still feel the sensation of me thrusting the sword into your chest. I can still remember the sensation of your blood spilling onto my hand. I can still remember and feel it all.”

Mera’s expression didn’t change in spite of learning of her death. She maintained her friendly smile. She could feel his emotions. While he was one who killed her, the pain he suffered was far worse than her pain. His expression didn’t look unusual, but tears had formed in his eyes. He looked as though he’d crush his own teeth, tongue and lips. It was as if he was forcing out the pain, blood and despair from his body every time he mentioned a word related to her.

“So, you want me to live?”

The man didn’t speak. Instead, he tightened his hold on Mera’s hand. She gently stroked his face with her other hand. Voice soft, she stated, “I am already happy to know that you feel this way. Nevertheless, I still want to know what I was to you… in that world. I was your…”

“My benefactor.”

“That’s all?”

He shook his head: “… Perhaps there was love between us, as well. I’m honestly not sure. Our time together was far too short. Every time we met, though, you’d show me the way to go. Even at your last moment, you told me to muster up the courage to kill you. You led me every step of the way. You were important to me. Had it not been for you, I wouldn’t be who am I today. Hence, I’m still grateful to you. That said, I still don’t understand my feelings for you. I’ve lost you forever… Now, however, I’ve finally had a chance to see you, Luna and everyone else who was associated with me and met with misfortune. You’re all alive and leading happy lives. As a result, I don’t know what I should do anymore… I want to protect my world, the people around me and their blissful lives, but when I see you all still alive and leading happy lives, I… I… I really… really…”

“I understand.”

Mera gently wiped the tears coursing down his face and explained, “It is fine. I am here. You can still feel me, my warmth, breath and me. I am right here. I do not know why you killed me in your world, but I believe that there was a reason that we both understood. I do not regret this. If I can feel your love here, that will be all I can feel and nothing more.”

“Mera… Mera…”

“I would say that it is a miracle we can meet again. If we both love each other, meeting again is bliss. That is enough. Do what you want, Your Highness. You need not consider me. If this world of ours is fake, I am also fake, just as your dreams are. It is all fake. Whether it is me in this world or me in your world, we want you to be happy, and we hope you can protect yourself…”