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Expectation, Possessiveness, and Madness
Trigger Warning: Death (suicide), disturbing scene
***
“Long time no see, Noona.”
Aaron said hello with a smile.
Aaron was on the roof of the palace. Kyrie was on the lawn in front of the palace. It was hard to see because of its location, but it was obviously Meloni who was bleeding and lying next to Aaron.
“Aaron, what have you done…….”
Kyrie said in a frightened voice in the midst of the falling snow. Aaron looked down and waved his hand that was holding a sword.
“The Legendary Lord is also here, isn’t he? Hello!”
Nathaniel stood behind Kyrie. He only looked, with the bystanders around him like glass beads, but never responded to Aaron. Aaron laughed.
“I don’t think I can be seen in the eyes of a man of high status. Or is it because of the snow? That’s strange…….”
“Aaron, first of all……let that person go.”
“Eh, oh, this person?”
Aaron tilted his head and looked down at the man at his feet. It was the man who chased Aaron the other day. He sat on the palace railing with a mushy face. He was even in a position to fall if Aaron pushed his back a little bit.
“Why me?”
Aaron tilted his head with an innocent face.
“Aaron.”
“Ha ha! Noona, I feel so refreshed. It’s like I’m breaking away!”
“Don’t do this, Aaron.”
“It’s just the same as the weather that day……. It’s snowing.”
Aaron’s face was bright and then repeatedly went blank. He used to speak forcefully, and soon, he squirmed his head as if he were weighed down by his thoughts.
She couldn’t leave it like that. Kyrie blinked carefully at MarryAnne. It was shortly after MarryAnne grabbed the hem of her skirt and lowered herself.
“Oh? Don’t do that? I love those eyes, I’m looking at them all!”
Aaron put one foot on the man’s shoulder.
“Anne…… Did you say MarryAnne? You said I’m nice, right? But I’ll be faster if it’s in this distance. I’ll push him with my feet if I have to.….”
“Let’s talk, Aaron.”
“Talk? That’s what happened with Aunt Meloni. Now I have no ears, Noona…….”
The boy, who was muttering emptyly, soon smiled broadly.
“Oh! Yes, Noona, actually, I called you. I want to ask you something… I thought you’d come if I killed Aunt Meloni.….”
“Even if you didn’t do that, I would have come if you called.”
“Ah? Really? Why?”
“You also came to see me.”
Aaron’s face became weird. Half of it seemed to frown, and the other half seemed to smile.
“Why do you say that?”
“What?”
“Don’t you think you’re cocky? I said it nicely, but I’m sure you just left?”
“Should I have held you down?”
“You were supposed to do that.”
“Aaron.”
Kyrie took a step forward and spread her arms.
“If you’re having a hard time, say it’s hard. I’ll hug you.”
Aaron looked at such a Kyrie for a long time. He was like a child who lost their parents. A murmur flowed out of the boy’s mouth like a deranged person. Tears flowed from his brown eyes.
“If you’re going to say that so kindly, then why did you do that……?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why……. didn’t you stop me…….”
Aaron sniffled.
“The snowstream guard has been decommissioned… In the meantime, I was hired as Noona’s escort……? Learning the sword from the Legendary Lord……?”
“What?”
Kyrie doubted her ears. She had never even heard of it. Realizing something late, her head stiffly turned back. There, Nathaniel was staring at her like someone who was leisurely taking a walk.
Before she could ask Nathaniel anything, Aaron continued.
“But I was able to stand it up to that point. I was able to hold it in! But…….”
Aaron, who was wiping away tears with his arms, began to laugh like crazy.
“All of my colleagues died during the operation, huh, haha!  But they were dishonorably discharged! Why, why?”
Aaron’s sword pointed sharply towards Nathaniel. It seemed that the hatred in his eyes condensed into tears and fell.
“Because I couldn’t block the Legendary Lord! I couldn’t stop him… Haha, is there anybody who can do that?!”
“I didn’t know, Aaron. I’ll take care of it, so put the sword down first.”
“And that’s not the end!”
Aaron opened his mouth wide and cried out as if laughing.
“Why did you dig their graveyard?”
Aaron’s cries, breathless and frantically, rang out in the winter skies.
“Why the gravestones of my colleagues? Why’d you dig up all the remains that you even laid in place and throw them away without knowing where they were?”
“Aaron…….”
“Why did you dig up Kelly’s grave!”
It was a desperate scream as if the mountain streams and plants were singing. Kyrie never thought that humans could make such a sound. Kyrie stumbled. She trembled like a person with chills.
“Aaron, Aaron, I……, let me have an audience with Her Majesty, the Emperor.”
“Audience? Hahaha! Noona, do you think that will solve the problem?”
“I’ll do everything I can. I’ll try.”
“Shut up, please!”
Aaron, swinging his sword in the air, began to smile with his mouth wide open.
“Why are there so many loopholes? What’s wrong? I’d rather you be like a villain! Why are you acting like a victim?! Then who am I to blame!”
“I’ll be the villain or anything. Come down!”
“Why do you make me think that this is all because of Noona!”
Aaron screamed again with a force that seemed to have been squeezed out of the soles of his feet.
“Why are you making me miserable…….”
Aaron, bowing his head and staggering in his bent position, lifted his sword with a trembling hand.  The blade stopped in front of the boy’s neck. Kyrie screamed.
“Aaron!”
“Don’t move!”
“Aaron, no, not that! Don’t do that!”
“So, this, this is probably the best…….”
“Aaron, stop it, Aaron!”
“Because I can’t kill Noona anyway, and I can’t get revenge on the Legend…….”
Aaron glanced down at Meloni with blank eyes.
“Aunt Meloni, too, would not have to bear the pain of her son’s death from the Legend…….”
For a moment, Kyrie thought that all the lights in the world were out. It was an illusion. It was just dark in front of her eyes.
“……What?”
“You didn’t know? I thought so.”
Aaron smiled with a teary face.
“Timothy was my friend……a guard, the son of Aunt Meloni, and the man who was beside you and whom you killed.”
Kyrie covered her mouth and hardened like a pillar of salt.
Meloni’s face, which was always smiling at her and always couldn’t feed her anything more, came to mind.
Kyrie realized how brazen she must have looked to her and turned white. How would she feel? Did she want to kill her? She wondered if she was upset. Did she think it was ridiculous whenever she looked like she was going to die in front of her?
“I, I didn’t know. If I knew, I’d never…….”
“I know it’s not your fault……. By the way, Noona.”
The boy looked up at the sky with his chin up.
“As long as Sir Legend likes you, people will die eventually. You know that, don’t you?
I know. I know. Kyrie wrapped her arms around her.
Tears and laughter passed by. Aaron’s face now showed nothing but aloofness. The boy’s eyes were looking higher. Or something that was totally low. Aaron lowered his head and looked at Kyrie. A thin, calm smile came to his lips.
“So, since you’re a good Noona, I’ll ask you this…….”
“…….”
“Noona, can you please die?”
That word was a catalyst. The curse words hidden from Aaron’s mouth began to pour out.
“Please die, Noona. Please die, this is over only when Noona dies. Who’s blocking the Legendary Lord……? No one can stop him. Even if it’s you.”
Aaron murmured like a madman.
“Wouldn’t it all be over if Noona died? No one can kill you, so please kill yourself. It’s weird… He’s the legend, a legendary hero, and he can’t kill us recklessly, she must have done something!”
“…….”
“But Noona is kind. Because so many people died, can’t you just die for them or for the rest of them?  Please die, please. I beg you. I…”
Aaron, who was talking like crazy, stopped as if he had broken down. Soon, Aaron’s sword squeezed near the carotid artery.
(PR note: carotid artery is one of the biggest arteries, that is located on both sides of your neck and supplies your brain and head. If you cut it off, you’ll die immediately due to hypovolemic shock/blood loss.)
“Because we will die together…….”
Kyrie couldn’t say anything. She saw people, standing in the distance like spectators, nod their heads with sad faces.
So that was the reason that Kyrie had so far been shunned.
She just needed to die. Everyone wanted Kyrie to commit suicide.
Tears flowed from Kyrie’s eyes.
“Noona.”
Aaron smiled brightly. It was a bright smile that matched the end. (T/N: ‘the End’ used here doesn’t signifies nathaniel in anyway, it signifies, death)
“I’m going to die.”
The blade tore the boy’s neck. His blood splattered. As the boy’s body collapsed, even the man sitting at his feet fell down the roof.
Thump, there was a sound.
Blood spilled over the accumulated snow. It seemed like the boy muttered the name Kelly, at the last minute.
Kyrie sat down with an empty face. She was too tired to reveal any feelings. Yet her eyes did not fall off the wriggling Aaron with a bubble of blood. Nathaniel covered the corpse.
[He’s a great speaker. I don’t know why you misunderstand that everything will be over if you die.]
Black robes. Long legs. He stood like death in front of an old man and looked down at Kyrie. Kyrie’s head slowly went down. Both hands touched the floor, nails scratched the ground and snow.
“……You knew everything, didn’t you?”
[Of course.]
Nathaniel replied.
[To explain it to you, your encounter, your consolation, your isolation, your encouragement, the disbandment of the Guard, the cemetery, and many more.]
He didn’t seem to feel any sense of inspiration for the horrors he had made with his own hands.  Kyrie opened her mouth several times to say something about him, but there was no sound. Her tears shed from her wide open eyes.
“……Why?”
[There is no reason.]
Nathaniel replied without even asking. Kyrie burst into laughter.
“You’ve instigated all of this for no reason……?”
[Yes.]
Kyrie opened her mouth as if she were going to throw up her heart. The only thing that came out was the sound of her throat.
“He’s dead, Nathaniel. The man is…….”
She spoke, and at the same time realized how useless her words were. Nathaniel fell on one knee. He put down his cane and raised Kyrie’s cheek with one hand to make her see himself. And he smiled at Kyrie with clear, childlike eyes.
[It’s not like you’re dead.]
The silence subsided for a while.
Kyrie slowly began to laugh. Her hand grabbed Nathaniel’s cheeks. He did not avoid her hands which were dirty from melted snow and dirt. Rather, very lightly, he rubbed his cheeks against her palm. Kyrie looked into his blue eyes and whispered in a small voice that seemed to go out.
“Now…… I think I can say it.”
Nathaniel’s eyes blinked.
Expectation in one blink, possessiveness in one blink, madness in one blink.
Kyrie smiled with her eyes wide open, as if not forgetting her revenge.
“I hate you…….”
At that moment, a faint cruelty emerged from Nathaniel’s seemingly meaningless smile. His head tilted a little more. His open eyes didn’t blink anymore, but it wasn’t because of anger.
He was delighted.
“I regret meeting you.”
Kyrie laughed a little louder.
I should have told you sooner if it was going to be like this anyway.
I was wrong, that I didn’t say that I would ‘believe you’.
She should not have thought about dealing with the unknown. Nothing would have worked anyway.
“You…… I wish you were dead.”
***
“Are you satisfied now, Sir Nathaniel?”
MarryAnne asked. She had just taken Kyrie to her room.
Nathaniel, sitting in front of the drawing room’s chessboard, stroked his cane and smiled softly. He looked in a good mood.
[It’s not bad, the hard work pays off.]
“…….”
MarryAnne stared at him quietly. His flawless face was as serene as a full beast. It was a completely different serene look from when he faced Kyrie in the snow. (T/N: first meeting)
Yes, at that time.
Kyrie didn’t notice, but MarryAnne couldn’t breathe from the moment Nathaniel fell on one knee.
Nathaniel’s shadow was hovering around Kyrie as if he were alive. Like a kid who was thinking about whether to eat candy or not. MarryAnne thought for the first time she wanted to run away from her owner.
[You’ve been pretty good, too.]
Nathaniel’s words awakened MarryAnne’s thoughts. He smiled mildly like a heavenly lion.
[Tell me what to tell, hide what to hide, encourage what to encourage.]
“It’s all for the Miss. Sir Nathaniel has to keep his word.”
[Yes.]
He blinked slowly.
[I decided not to kill her, so I did it. I don’t know if your master would like it.]
Seeing him talk this long with someone other than Kyrie, he seemed to be in a really good mood. MarryAnne fiddled with her skirt helplessly. Obviously, it was for Kyrie, but she felt like she was being used by Nathaniel without hesitation.
“…… Sir Nathaniel likes Miss.”
It came out as a self-talk, but it was definitely for Nathaniel. Nathaniel turned his head. He looked at MarryAnne with a deep, tranquil gaze.
Both know it was a too big and exclusive feeling to say that he ‘liked’ her, but there was no other appropriate expression.
Nathaniel lowered his eyes as if he understood.
[It could be described that way.]
Clinging to his rarely seen generosity, MarryAnne said.
“Can’t you…… be nice to her? You can be nice to her and make her stay with you.….”
[Well, that’s a boring thing to say.]
“Boring?”
[Yes.]
Nathaniel tilted his head and rested his chin. Boredom was slowly emerging on his face.
[Likeability is highly volatile. People always focus on what’s good, what they don’t like, what they don’t have yet, rather than on the things they already have.]
“But……!”
[On the other hand, hatred is different.]
Nathaniel looked straight ahead again. The fireplace flames were swaying over his face, but it didn’t look warm at all.
[Hatred has a very long lifespan, more tenacious and even desperate than your favorite romance.]
Nathaniel put the cane on his knee and said neatly.
[So if you want to own someone, kill that person’s parents as cruelly as possible.]
“…….”
[Then someone will hate you forever, and you can have them forever.]
MarryAnne’s face was becoming more and more tearful, but she did her best to pull herself together.
“But, didn’t Sir Nathaniel burn Miss’s parents?”
[It’s so easy to get out of despair.]
It was a significant remark. MarryAnne let go of the grit of her skirt and stepped back.
“……Are you going to make Miss Kyrie cry again?”
Nathaniel’s eyes glowed tenderly. The boredom, which had been slowly pushing its head, quickly sank when Kyrie’s name came out. He smiled beautifully as if it were only natural.
[It’s pretty.]
(PR/N: when she cries)
That was the scariest part of him. He was so purely in love with Kyrie’s suffering.
[It is wonderful to cry, to suffer, to have anticipation, to have hope and then to despair. The best of them is probably the appearance of being broken, but once you break them, it’s irreversible……]
When she wanted to say that he needed to be careful, her words faded. No wonder she seemed to be agonizing, and MarryAnne hurriedly brought up another topic.
“Anne, MarryAnne doesn’t like if Miss is crying!”
Nathaniel, disturbed by her thoughts, opened his mouth somewhat coldly.
[Did I just ask you about your preference? I didn’t notice that.]
“Bu-, but, Sir Nathaniel, Sir Nathaniel told MarryAnne that he wouldn’t kill Miss…”
[I guess I looked like a man who couldn’t keep his word.]
“It’s not that……!”
MarryAnne lowered her head in a hurry to not make eye contact with him.
“Sir Nathaniel…… is everything alright with you?
[I don’t know what you’re talking about.]
“Even if Miss cries all the time…… Do you feel alright?
[Kyrie?]
“Even if she doesn’t smile anymore, and she doesn’t like Sir Nathaniel… Are you sure it’s okay?”
Nathaniel tilted his head with the cane at the tip of his chin, as if it were not a matter of much importance.
[If that’s true, I’d say it’s perfect.]
His drowsy blue eyes were wet as if they were dreaming.
[If she goes mad because of her hatred towards me…]
Nathaniel closed his mouth. He seemed to recall something, eyeing the blazing fireplace flame. Accordingly, an eerie energy jolted in the room.
Watching the scene, MarryAnne felt as if she was suffocated by such evil energy. She groped through the wall and managed to get out of the room.
Only then did the strong winter wind pass through MarryAnne’s cheeks through the open hallway window where she breathed. MarryAnne put her hand on the window frame and looked up at the moon. She had sad eyes.
“MaryAnne can do it……. Now, MarryAnne really has to protect Miss…….”
***
T/N: this child finally understood that she has to protect Kyrie, I feel Anne is also Obsessed with Kyrie in her own way, and Aaron….that boy died, seriously, he deserved so much good and his love(Kelly) also died…. that’s why immortals and humans can never coexist with each other.
Sometimes when I Translate this novel I think that I am fortunate that an existence like Nathaniel and Leschaux aren’t there.
The reason why Nathaniel never killed Cesar was because his death will never make an impact on Kyrie, yes, she did mention in volume 1 that she wouldn’t like to see Cesar die in front of her but that’s not her heart saying it was her responsibility as a daughter towards her father that’s it. (It’s just my speculation lol)
So Nathaniel chose Aaron.