After a while, he moved the corners of his mouth. He moved his mouth like a man who wanted to smile somehow, but then he stopped. His trembling blue eyes trembled like a child who lost his parents in the crowd. Kyrie turned away from the struggle-like gaze that she couldnât let go of once she saw it.
ââŠâŠI will go first.â
[Only today.]
A hoarse voice could be heard in Kyrieâs ears as she was about to pass by him.
Nathaniel kept his standing posture, bowing his head slightly, and opened his mouth with difficulty.
[Bet on my nameâŠâŠ.Iâll do anything within my abilities, just for today.]
ââŠâŠ.â
[âŠâŠEven for an hour.]
The breathing of the squeezed out voice was harsh. Nathaniel, startled for a moment, turned his head in the opposite direction.
[Really, just lookâŠâŠ..]
Kyrie stopped. It was already a broken relationship. Holding onto such a relationship and trying to revive it somehow made her upset. What is the end and what is the worst thing in the world? Now heâs like Kyrie Buchanan when she was young, begging to be petted because she worked hard. It was the look that Kyrie didnât want to see the most. And she didnât want to take responsibility for anything anymore.
ââŠâŠ.no, I do not want to.â
Having said that, Kyrie walked out of her room, clenching her teeth so as not to look back. And Nathaniel was left alone in hell.
He stood there upright for a while. The inside of his chest seemed to burn quietly. Nathaniel closed his eyes and waited for it to pass.
But no matter how much time passed, it never passed. Rather, as time passed, the weight in his heart became clearer. It was probably broken into twelve pieces and flowing with blood. Seeing how hot his body is.
He couldnât move. It felt like something might explode the moment he moved. Nathaniel stood and swallowed it. His neck was twitching several times, and the strength that had entered between the brows could not be released.
He seemed to melt, but strangely, the top of his head seemed to burst from the inside. His chest fluctuated irregularly, then subsided, and then something swelled up again and again. He didnât know what it felt like to be âbrought to tearsâ.
It wasnât until after a while before Nathaniel was able to sit as if collapsing on the sofa, which was only a few steps away. Not knowing what he would do if he relaxed his body, he clenched his fists tightly. And he hardened his chin firmly so as not to let out a small moan. Fortunately, Kyrieâs words were still stagnant in the room. That kept Nathanielâs patience thin.
He once had a similar night. When Kyrie was kidnapped by Orewinbridge. Even then, he wasnât very well, but he certainly had some leeway. At the time, Nathaniel knew that Kyrie was, of course, very small and cute, but not irreplaceable.
Everything was like that. There is no such thing as unprecedented genius. He wasnât even a hero. No matter how special it seemed, it wasnât that special in terms of eternity. In the endless hours of time, there were so few that he could count on his fingers the only âoneâ being. Nathaniel was one of them, and there were countless others.
Kyrie was definitely Nathanielâs world. At least in this century it is. However, it was difficult to believe that it would be strong for Nathaniel, who realized how often and easily the world in the past was falling apart.
Believed and betrayed.
Believe and be killed.
Believe and get ignored.
But believe, believe, and believe againâŠâŠ
Then he decided to build a fortress that would not be destroyed by hatred. It was very easy, and no one could blame him for changing his attitude according to his mood.
ââŠâŠBut I canât. You said that we change our attitude like turning our palms around to speak kindly, taking care, âŠ.Everything canât go back to normal, NathanielâŠâŠ.â
Still, he told Kyrie not to do that much.
The sun set in the room, and night came. One by one, lights were turned on to illuminate the darkness in Buchananâs mansion. Leschaux was escorting Kyrie at Nathanielâs request, and Kyrie went to sleep later than usual.
Nathaniel was sad again. He has been out of breath. What if Kyrie has another nightmare? She now has no one to take her away from her nightmares. What if someone sends an assassin? The weak Kyrie Buchanan would die if only one of her arms was cut off.
If she eats poison.
Even if she falls from a high place.
Even if that father does harm.
But despite all his worries, he couldnât go to Kyrieâs bedroom in the end. Her cold voice whirled in his ears.
âNo, I do not want to.â
Nathaniel couldnât quite remember how he felt when he heard those words. He only remembered that his whole body had received all of Kyrie Buchananâs voice without filtration.
âI am nowâŠ..Iâm afraid when you see me I want to run away. I hate to talk to you, and I think Iâm going crazy when you call my name.â
Since it was the last time, he just wanted to show a plausible image if possible. If itâs Kyrie Buchanan with a weak heart, sheâs sure to think like, âDid I mean something bad?â So he just tried not to show it as much as possible.
But every time he smiled, she sighed, and Nathaniel could only hide his embarrassment. Even now, Nathaniel didnât know what he was supposed to do. He felt like a child who knew nothing.
That was the saddest. It was as if you were sentenced to be an outsider forever. He will never understand Kyrie.
Nathaniel slowly tilted his head.
If thatâs the case, heâd rather not let her know loneliness. He didnât want her to make others feel warm (to be responsible for them). Let them know that spring is coming at the end of winter.
It was painful, as if his five internal organs were being ripped to pieces. Still, the night passed hopelessly, and the last day dawned. When the dawn light came through the curtains, Nathaniel foolishly turned back time. The edge of the sun goes down again to the earth, the sky turns black, and then it passes, into a ripe evening. And gradually back to the original time.
(T/N: yes he can turn back time)
After running like that dozens of times, he turned his head and looked out of the window. It was then that he realized it.
He will never see her again.
[KyrieâŠ..]
Why should she have been born with a broken heart for a single name? He will never know. Closing his eyes at the sunlight that pierced her eyes, Nathaniel let out the saliva he couldnât swallow.
And he regretted it.
If this was really the last time, Iâd say Iâm sorry. No matter how unworthy and common it was, I would say it.
âSorry. Iâm afraid of you.â
âIâm afraid of youâŠâŠSo this is for a reason. Understand me.â
âIâm sorry. You know too much.â
They throw stones at him even if they are sorry, betray him even if they are sorry, and try to kill him even if they are sorry. The apology he knows is justification and self-rationalization, just to relieve their guilt. He thought they would be happy to ger reward them with actions and material things if they gave him that much.
Still, he would have said he was sorry.
But itâs already too late.
Nathaniel slowly stood up. It was more like being dragged than getting up. Now he had no awareness of moving a humanoid body. Whatâs the point if itâs not having Kyrie?
As Nathaniel left the room, he met MarryAnne at the door. The one-eyed maid was the first to get scared and shocked.
ââŠN, athaniel, sirâ
Her handmaiden gasped for her breath. Nathaniel didnât do anything. Just because heâs too strong. Just because heâs so strong, a normal being will go crazy or die just looking at his true form. Her heart would soon stop, too.
But if she dies, Kyrie will be sad.
Nathaniel, who looked down at her maid with her eyes closed in fear, refined his body into a human form. MarryAnne took a deep breath with a pale face.
âUghâŠ..â
[ Anything to say?]
MarryAnne looked up at Nathaniel with a mixture of fear and hostility.
âA, are you goingâŠâŠ?â
[Leaving.]
Nathaniel replied calmly. He checked the location of the Kyrie, ran to her, and stood with a cane to avoid kneeling on the floor.
[You have a role too.]
Nathaniel lifted his head for a moment and looked at the scene through the window. He thought that there was a world where Kyrie was alive somewhere, so there was nothing she could not be sad about.
[You must have known. Cesar Buchanan is Kyrieâs biological father, no matter how petty it may be, and Kyrie knows that sheâs not a flexible child enough to spare the person who killed her father.]
MarryAnne flinched like a man who had been stabbed. The little head faltered.
ââŠâŠ MarryAnne didnât want to be hated by her. MarryAnne of course hates the Lord, and I want him to disappear, butâŠ.â
[Yes. That seems to be the case.]
ââŠ..Yes?â
[So you stick to Cesar Buchanan. When the time comes, if he finds Kyrie first, even if at all, take him to Kyrie.]
Nathaniel gently lowered her eyes.
[But if notâŠ.]
His voice lowered one level.
[Leave him alone and walk away. And tell Kyrie that I killed him.]
MarryAnneâs eyes widened and her mouth opened. Nathaniel looked down at the speechless blonde maid, then turned his head. He was jeopardized as if the magical power, which had been condensed in the royal palace, would be shattered. He couldnât delay any longer. Nathaniel smiled like a smirk.
[Itâs always up to me.]
***
Kyrieâs pen stopped looking at the documents. She thought of Nathaniel for a moment.
It was the second time she had seen Nathaniel look like he was about to collapse. The first time was in a secluded house far from Pronoia, and even then he had that expression on his face.
âStrangely pathetic.â
Kyrie flicked her pen and fell into her thoughts.
âThe three days Sir Leschaux said are today. Why three days? What is happening today?â
Kyrie looked out of the window. The capital remained unchanged. The reconstruction of the mansion was also proceeding safely, and there was no other attack. The wizards of Pronoia came and said, âMagic! magic! But I believe in the Lord!â They used to say the same thing, but when I asked them more closely, they didnât even know what was going on.
Kyrie turned her gaze back to the papers. She was exhausted no matter what, and she thought every day she would do what she had to do. Sheâll probably live that way for the rest of her life, but it doesnât matter. Donât fail if you donât expect it.
Soon Rimo came in with a knock on her door.
âOh, lady.â
âWhatâs the matter? Iâm busy, so keep it simple.â
Kyrie said without moving her gaze. She replied, as Rimo swallowed her saliva.
âThe Crown Princess has come to visit.â
Kyrieâs pen stopped. Ink dripped from the nib that pierced the paper, growing a black dot. Anxiety spread like that in her mind.
Rubinia Orewinbridge was wearing all black. Her black dress that covered the tip of her neck and her fingertips gave a delicate impression. said Rubinia, who covered her face with a black veil on her palm-sized hat.
âCome with me, Kyrie Buchanan.â
Kyrie sat facing her in front of her and blinked her eyes. Rubinia slowly removed the veil that covered her face.
âCome with me. You have to go with me.â
Kyrie found a cut on her Rubiniaâs cheek. She was slapped. She (Emperor) was out of control and it made her sad. The world is so full of misery. With peopleâs lives like this, it was no wonder that Nathaniel was regarded as a god.
âWhy are you still being treated like that, Your Royal Highness?â
Rubinia snorted at her.
âIsnât it the same for you? The more I see you, the more miserable you are. At least Iâm here because I want to.â
At Rubiniaâs words, Kyrie lowered her gaze to the floor. Thatâs right. Sheâs just here because she canât die.
âDid the Emperor tell you to bring me?â
âCome with me.â
âWhat will happen to me if I donât go?â
âYou donât know? Come with me.â
âI will not go.â
âI thought you would say that.â
Although she refused, Rubinia seemed to like her answer. But she soon opened her eyes like a wildcat.
âSo we decided to hold a memorial service today.â
âWhat?â
âDead Guards. It was a disgraceful discharge.â
Kyrieâs mouth opened slightly. She could predict what Rubinia would say next.
âI will treat them as honorably killed in a memorial service today. They will all be treated as men of merit, and they will be enshrined in the national cemetery. The Buchanan family has provided financial support, but only the royal family can give the honor.â
âHowever, the grave was dug up and the ashes were thrown awayâŠâŠâ
âIt was executed by the royal family at the command of the Legendary Lord. Thereâs no way theyâd really throw it away, right? A hand that is good to use like that.â
Rubiniaâs eyes were indifferent.
âAaron Fitz. He will get his honor back. I decided to give medals to other victims as well. It is unusual.â
Obviously it is. Kyrieâs face darkened, and Rubinia was determined.
âThat unusual thing wonât happen unless you attend the memorial service.â
âIf I go.â
âNo matter what you do, I will restore their honor. Of course, if you believe in me.â
Kyrie closed her eyes. Aaron and Meloniâs images of the past flashed.. The sad thing was that Kyrie was now dulling their deaths. In the hardships of life, the sharpness of emotion becomes blunt day by day.
So donât be late.
In the end, Nathaniel was right. Death is the only way out, given equally to everyone. Kyrie slowly opened her eyes.
ââŠâŠ.Thatâs fortunate. I just documented yesterday what the Buchanan family would do if my father and I died at the same time.â
Rubinia looked sullenly at her.
âDo you believe me?â
âBecause you are the one who does what you say you will.â
ââŠâŠis it so? Iâm telling you that youâve come all the way here, but if you come, you might die.â
ââŠâŠ.â
âWould you risk your life for someone elseâs honor?â
Kyrie got up from her seat.
âPlease wait.â
Kyrie slowly walked out into the hallway, and she entered a small garden where no one was there.
âLord Leschaux.â
After a brief whisper, Leschaux appeared, stepping on the grass. The giant sword was still loosely wrapped around his waist.
ăNathaniel left the mansion in the morning.ă
Kyrie paused. The nuance was strange.
âHe left?â
ăYes.ă
To her question, Leschaux replied with an incredulous look. Perhaps he was in the habit of not revealing his purpose for ever. Leschaux showed an attitude of asking if she had any questions, but Kyrie avoided her gaze after silence.
âI see.â
ăAnd I will not sanction you for whatever you do.]
âWhatever I do?â
ăYes.ă
Kyrie looked at Leschaux with a smile. He still didnât change his expression. However, Kyrie read from him a sign of wanting her to follow Rubinia.
After a while, she smiled softly.
âThe Lord actually wanted to kill me, or he wanted me to die.â
Instead of answering, Leschaux smiled. It was a smile with no meaning.
Kyrie turned her body and went back to the room where Rubinia was.
âLetâs go, Your Royal Highness.â
***
T/N: The angst ends(?) Here, now weâll see the epic war between the Emperor and Nathaniel~~