âNext timeâŚ.Think about what she likes. Iâll think about it with you. I hope you make up.â
Nataniel barely smiled after gritting his teeth.
[See you later.]
âYes!â
[Remember what I said. YouâŚ..]
âWhose world am I going to be?â
Kyrie smiled broadly and whispered again in Nathanielâs ear.
âI wish I could be a kind person like you, Nathaniel.âŚ.â
Kyrie entered the room, and MaryAnne followed the doctors. Of course, Nathaniel was not involved in her treatment. He waited three days in the room next to Kyrieâs bedroom. It rained all three days, and all three days he could hear Kyrie howling.
âNo, I donât want to! Please⌠Please leave me alone! Iâm sorry, Aaron! Aaron! Ahhhhh! Ahkkkk!â
On the day he couldnât hear the scream, he heard sobs. Nathaniel could not tell which one was better. He was equally afraid of either side.
On the fourth day, a doctor came out into the hallway and visited Nataniel.
âWe succeeded, butââ
[Is there a problem?]
âShe has severe depression and lethargy. Some memories were damaged because her mind was not intact. She hasnât fully recovered, so she can often lose her discernment like before.â
The doctorâs words sounded like stories from another world. Nathaniel nodded slowly and headed to Kyrieâs room. Because of the rain clouds, the room was dark. Kyrie was lying on the bed like a withered magnolia.
[Kyrie.]
Nathaniel called her name. Kyrieâs head flinched in the dark.
The silence lasted quite a long time. It wasnât long after that she screamed so much that she opened her mouth with a hoarse voice.
âNathanielââ
As soon as he heard the voice, Nathaniel couldnât say anything for a moment. For a while, only the sound of rain knocking on the window rang.
[âKyrie.]
He said it again. As he took a step closer, he could see Kyrie. She was like a dying flower. There was no trace of a smile in her blank eyes. She was calm and desperate, like someone waiting to die.
Naturally, Nathaniel had no choice but to think of Kyrie Buchanan when he first met. And after that, he remembered Kyrie Buchanan, who chatted with him, talked to him, got angry at him, and reached out to him with her life.
And then he remembered. Kyrie Buchanan, who gave him the answer with a ten-year-old heart.
[âŚ..I]
Nathaniel spoke with a trembling voice. Kyrie slightly turned her head. The rotten grape-like eyes turned to him. Nathanielâs heart sank. He made a voice by squeezing his own heart.
[IâŚ..]
He could hardly speak. He had so much to say, but the woman in front of him seemed to break with just his breath.
[âŚMe, toward you, reallyâŚâŚ.]
Nathaniel narrowed his forehead and clenched his fist. It was hard to breathe. He should say sorry. That wonât solve everything, but it must be the answer because itâs Kyrie Buchananâs answer.
However, compared to the sin he committed and the apology he had to do, his throat was extremely narrow, and he eventually couldnât say anything. And Kyrie seemed to already know what he was going to say.
âNathaniel.â
She smiled quietly.
âItâs too lateâŚâŚ.â
Nathanielâs breathing stopped slowly.
Kyrie looked at the rain for a long time behind Nathaniel, who had no answer. Time went by meaninglessly without anyone saying anything. She felt Nathanielâs gaze, but even reacting was exhausting and difficult. But she eventually had to move.
âManagement of the mansionâŚâŚ. Compensation should be given to employees. If they need a letter of recommendation, I have to write it down, crack it down, and figure out how rumors are aroundâŚâŚ.â
She would rather suffocate, but she had to move unless she suffocated to death. Kyrie said in a hoarse voice.
ââŚGet out of here. Iâm tired.â
She deliberately did not look at Nathanielâs face. She didnât want to waste her emotions anymore. Nathaniel took another step forward.
[Kyrie, betterâ]
It was a low voice. Kyrie stood up ignoring him.
âMaryAnne. Come on in.â
MaryAnne, who has a good ear, carefully opened the door as soon as Kyrieâs words ended. MaryAnne was crying behind the door.
âLady.â
ââcome here.â
MaryAnne almost dragged her feet into the room. She rolled her eyes around, rolling a white apron in her fist. Kyrie hugged MarryAnneâs shoulder lightly.
âYou must have been sad that I forgot you.â
âHik.â
MaryAnne sniffled with a stuffy nose. Kyrie patted her on the back.
âIt was because I had a hard timeâŚâŚ. Itâs okay now.â
âI was so scared that you forgot me.âŚ.â
At MarryAnneâs words, Kyrie patted only her small back without answering. Iâm sorry, but Kyrie couldnât afford to properly embrace MarryAnneâs feelings. She was like a poplar flower dried up in the mind. She wanted to die, but she didnât even have the will to die. Only the thought of wanting someone to kill her without pain was repeated.
Kyrie hugged MaryAnne with an expressionless face and smiled hazily again by the time she released the hug. She looked at her with very tired eyes.
âI need to wash up.â
âYes, yes!â
âIâm going to my father after the renovation, and Iâll have to see how the mansion is being repaired afterward. He must have replied to the official letter sent to the territory, so I need to bring it.â
âLadyâŚAre you going to work?â
Kyrie nodded with a blank face.
âI have to do it.â
MaryAnne took in a big breath. As soon as she said something, Nathaniel opened his mouth first.
[Canât you rest for a few days?]
After a brief silence, Kyrie gently pushed MarryAnneâs shoulder.
âGet out.â
âYes.â
MaryAnne left the room looking at Nathaniel.
[Kyrie.]
Kyrie ignored the voice calling her again. Soon she unbuttoned the front of her pajamas, Nathanielâs hand gently restrained her movement.
[The doctor said you need a break.]
Kyrie shook her hand. Nathaniel held her hand again.
[And I ask you to do it because Iâm going out.]
At that, Kyrie looked up and glanced at Nathaniel. She had never seen him with such worried eyes. She didnât feel embarrassed, perhaps because of his natural arrogance. Even if he begs with his forehead on the ground, he will be as noble as the king of the ruins. In the end, Kyrie is the only one rolling on the floor.
She tried to laugh, but her cheeks were not moving. She said blankly.
âWhy didnât you just sleep with me when I was out of my mind?â
[What?]
Nathaniel didnât seem to understand what he heard for a moment. Later, his face hardened frighteningly.
[Did I look like a person who would do that?]
âYou kissed me. I thought you were feeling sexual desire for me. Why didnât you just do it once when I was crazy?â
At the sharp word, Nathaniel paused. Kyrie struck out Nathanielâs hand. The dry and desolate gaze swept around the room meaninglessly.
âNo⌠If that was the purpose in the first place, you should have told me earlier. Itâs not so difficult for a noble to sleep with someone whom they donât even like.â
Nathaniel moved with his mouth slightly open throughout Kyrieâs words and then closed his mouth tightly at the end. Blue eyes, which were just transparent and beautiful, one after another soaked in sadness and despair.
He said a word long after like squeezing.
[âŚâŚI never had that kind of purpose]
Kyrie glanced up at Nathaniel. And asked in a cynical tone.
âCan you say you donât want to sleep with me?â
Nathanielâs eyes got a little bigger. Among the clear blue irises, the pupils were seen shaking in time for the heartbeat. He pressed his lips and covered his face with his hands. As Kyrie expected.
âThereâs no answer.â
[IâŚ]
âWhatever you think, whatever you want from meâŚâŚ Now do as you please. Iâm going to do what I have to doâŚâŚ, thatâs all.â
As soon as she turned around, Nathaniel blocked her again.
[Kyrie, you just woke up from the bedâ]
Kyrie frowned and covered her ears with her hands. Nathaniel then said, shining dimly with impatience.
[Of course, your parents are too much for youâŚ.]
âThatâs it!â
At that moment, Kyrieâs voice, which had been devastated so far as if all thoughts had been weathered, cooled down at once.
âWhatâs wrong with my parents? What about my childhood? Do you want to sympathize with me?â
Purple eyes showed blatant aggression different from before. It was the appearance she hid even before death.
The hidden side of the moon.
Nathaniel stopped moving thinking of such a word. Kyrie opened her eyes and smiled like a crazy person.
âWas it fun to peek at what others were hiding? Did you think something would change if you were nice to an innocent Kyrie Buchanan who knew nothing?â
[I didnât treat you like that with that intention.]
âIâm glad you didnât. It means that I am not a child who is still struggling to be loved in your eyes.â
[You know I donât care about that.]
Nathaniel struggled to open his mouth. The sentence was smooth and the voice was sweet, but his expression revealed tension like a person who had never explained his feelings to others.
[Whatever you are, it doesnât matter to me. Even if youâ ]
âIâm your world?â
Kyrieâs face was filled with laughter. Uncovered sorrow flowed through her voice.
âSo what did the world give me? More burdens, more responsibilities, more words, more rumors, more roles! Is that all I have?â
Kyrie shook her head roughly. Itâs small. Her enlarged pupils gradually lost focus.
âI wanted to run awayâŚI wanted to run away! I wanted to quit! Everything! I canât die with my own hands, so I just wanted to forget everything!
[Kyrie.]
âBut you took me back here! To this hell!â
[I didnât do that. I donât know whatâs good for you anymoreâŚâŚ.]
âLies!â
Kyrie breathed out a rough breath and shouted. She pulled out her neck like a deer just before itâs death, screamed long, and smiled gently at the air.
âI didnât want to come back! I want to forget! Iâm sick and tired of everything! Pretending to be fine in front of others, pretending not to be hurt by others, everything! I donât like having to protect people from you, I donât like being the only one who can do it, but I hate myself the most!â
At the scream, Nataniel could not say anything.
Kyrieâs scream was cut off in the middle. Her eyes were getting wet. She raised her trembling hands and covered her eyes.
âBut if thatâs not the case, it means nothing to meâŚâŚ.â
âE, excuse meâŚ!â
At that time, the heavy atmosphere was cut off and a voice was heard from the door. Fear immediately came to Kyrieâs face, and as soon as Nathaniel saw her, he covered Kyrie with his body. He judged that she wouldnât want to show that. Perhaps the idea was right, Kyrie did not move behind his back.
In the threshold area, the maid stood with anxious eyes.
[Whatâs going on?]
Nathaniel spoke coldly, hiding Kyrie behind his back. Limo replied.
âIâm s, sorry, ladyâŚ.. we have a guest from P, PronoiaâŚâŚ.â
***
In the drawing-room, there were more than fifty scholars but not more than a hundred, fully occupied the drawing-room. It was clear that Ernst, the butler, would have had a hard time giving out the chair.
Kyrie approached the most welcome person among them.
âDr. Poe, Dr. Hawksong.â
âL-lady!â
Dr. Poeâs clothes were very colorful, perhaps because he was dressed up as the capital city. He screamed anew and rushed to Kyrie but stopped rushing, and blinked.
âLady. What happenedâŚ?â
âLong time no see. Nice to meet you.â
Kyrie deliberately ignored Poeâs words and turned to Dr. Margaret Hawksong next to him. Dr. Hawksong narrowed her shining eyes under the glasses. But her eyes were full of worries, too.
âI hope youâre doing wellâŚâŚ, as expected, life is not so easy.â
âThere was only a small accident, so donât worry.â
Kyrie somehow smiled and crossed the subject. Dr. Hawksong once again only shone her eyes beyond the glasses and said nothing.
Kyrie looked around the audience once.
âBut⌠What happened?â
A group of Sixty-five years olds, all composed of wizards, blinked at each otherâs faces. In the meantime, Dr. Hawksong took a step forward.
âThereâs a letter of introduction that you gave me before, and I got a call that we were neededâŚâŚ.â
She glanced once at Nathaniel behind Kyrie.
âSince you donât know it, I guess the lord didnât tell you.â
ââŚâŚ.â
Kyrie sighed slightly tiredly. She did not see that Nathanielâs gaze was shaken by the sound.
âYeah⌠Even if there was a mistake, you canât abandon the guests. Welcome. The mansion is being repaired now, so itâs hard to accommodate everyone, so Iâll get you accommodation.â
âWeâre thankful, butâŚâ
Dr. Hawksong looked around. Scholars have made a fuss boasting each otherâs beard length as they have experience. Thanks to this, the voices of Dr. Kyrie and Dr. Hawksong were quickly buried.
ââŚâŚ There are a lot of bad rumors in the capital. Are you okay?â
âOh⌠Rumor.â
Kyrie mumbled, covering her eyes with her hands. There were so many things to point out that it was difficult to specify. But whatever she could do, there was only one answer. To smile and say, âItâs okay.â As if she doesnât exist. Because if she does, she has to act as if it would last forever.
âItâs okay.â
[Kyrie.]
Nathaniel stepped out from behind. He spoke low, looking only at Kyrie, just as no one else could be seen.
[You need to rest.]
As always, people held their breath when they heard Nathanielâs voice. Kyrie gritted her teeth and ignored him. She called the butler Ernst.
âErnst. Please find suitable accommodation for the guests.â