âNow what do I do?â His throat felt sandy like he caught a cold. He loosened up his faultless necktie and flinched when he felt the silky fabric. He fiddled with the tie unconsciously, then while he was at the stoplight, he pressed his lips on the bottom of the tie. Not surprisingly, he felt nothing.
He was clenching and releasing the fabric like he was crumpling a piece of paper when his cell phone vibrated. He dropped his tie and took the call, hands-free. He felt more anxious as it was from his sister.
âIkyung?â This was the first time he had a phone call with her since she came over to his apartment.
âYoonshin, is now an okay time to talk?â Her voice sounded much better, making Yoonshin somewhat relieved.
âIâm driving, but the speed limit is low here, so I can talk. How did you know to call? Did that family tell you that I met her?â
âYeah. Apparently, she was raving as soon as she got home. How come you never dated anyone when you could captivate a womanâs heart like that? You had girlfriends when you were still in school, but you stopped meeting anyone once you became a lawyer.â
âWell, that was because I was quite busy. I was younger back then, but meeting someone was too burdensome because I had to also consider marriage.â
âYou should start to consider that now. She said you were easy to talk with and kind yet manly. She said she liked you a lot. Thatâs great.â
âMy reaction was probably good because she was also a good person.â
Ikyung must have thought this was a positive sign as her voice brightened up. âDo you like her? Thatâs even better.â
âShe wasnât bad. I could probably marry her, but I donât think I could love her.â
As joyful as she was, she found his reply to be odd and asked back, her voice a few decibels higher, âHow do you know after one meeting?â
Yoonshin could tell, vaguely. This wasnât the womanâs fault. This was completely on him.
Throughout the conversation, Yoonshin could only think of another person. It wasnât charged with like or hateâhe simply kept thinking about the other man. He wanted to stop, so he tried to push the other man out of his mind. Yet Sehun filled his brain, completely dominating it. He couldnât begin to express how guilty he felt by thinking of another person while sitting across from his prospective marriage partner.
Yoonshin felt like he would never be able to forget this strange feeling he got today. For as long as he remembered that funny feeling, he wouldnât be able to see the other person who was with him rationally. Yoonshin was slightly more conscientious than the average person in that way.
âI just got the feeling. Itâs like an intuition of sorts,â he said.
Part of it was his sisterâs situation, but another part was because of Sehun, who littered his mind. Yoonshin didnât tell her that though because he thought it would be overly complicated to explain everything.
âIt could change after the second and third meeting. Love isnât all about something glittering at first sight,â Ikyung said, trying to persuade her brother.
âI know. But I just kept thinking that this wasnât right. Weâre not meant to be. I didnât like her enough to ask for a follow-up meeting. I wasnât interested in her at all,â Yoonshin continued.
âYoonshin.â
âDonât think that Iâm confused because I didnât get an electrifying feeling from the meeting. I know what it feels like to wonder about another person and want that person to be by my side.â
Ikyung fell silent for a moment and asked in a noticeably cautious tone, âDo you happen to be seeing something else? I assumed that you werenât, so I never asked.â
Upon hearing that question, nobody should have come to mind. After all, Yoonshin had neither a lover nor anyone close enough to call a romantic interest.
But still, Sehun floated in his mind.
The image of Sehunâs curved and arched lips, the cold eyes that pierced through him, and his rigid fingers that sometimes touched him all whirled in his head, making a mess of it. Yoonshin hesitated briefly and replied honestly, âIâm not.â
âSorry. I didnât want to burden you. I only wanted to protect you⌠And you donât usually date anyone. I just thought it was a good opportunity. If you really donât like her, I can reject the offer for you. Still, meet her a few more times, okay?â Ikyung said.
Yoonshin didnât reply. It didnât seem like she was expertly trying to throw a wrench in his plans just yet, so he changed the topic in consideration of Ikyungâs complicated feelings. âAre you holding on well? If you showed up like that again, I donât think I could last.â
When he brought up his concerns that he had pushed down in his heart, she let out a sigh.
âWorry about yourself. Iâve only bumped into Attorney Sehun Kang a few times, so I donât know him well, but heâs very irritable and cold. But you said you were hanging on well. Attorney Song was praising you to the skies. Although that could just be empty praise to satisfy me.â
Yoonshin automatically thought back to the dinner where he saw Mihee and Sehun. Yoonshin looked sincere and tilted his head slightly to the side. He tried to imagine what face his sister would make if he said that his thoughts were chaotic because of Sehun. He didnât think she would be very welcome to that, so he decided not to mention it.
âI have a lot to learn,â he said instead.
âThatâs a relief to hear.â
âHey, Ikyung, I told you this before, but Iâm a lawyer too. I know you donât have great faith in me, but let me know if you ever need my help,â Yoonshin said.
Ikyung chuckled at the sweetness of her brother, which in turn melted Yoonshinâs heart with affection.
âThatâs reassuring. Thank you. Letâs hang up now. You should concentrate on driving,â Ikyung said.
Yoonshin understood that Ikyung didnât want to continue the topic. He wanted to go against her wishes internally, but as usual, Yoonshin agreed good-naturedly and bid her well, telling her to hang up first, âOkay. Itâs late. Good night.â