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Why did Sehun think that he would hurt Yoonshin even before they even started going out?
Yoonshin couldn’t deny it anymore. Sehun’s coldness hurt him. And the moment that he accepted that, Yoonshin realized that his feelings for Sehun were already firm.
Sehun always occupied Yoonshin’s mind and disturbed him, and at the same time, he was someone Yoonshin could depend on. Yoonshin thought it was possible to date Sehun with these light feelings because it was a sign of attraction.
If he thought about it a bit more rationally, his feelings couldn’t be that simple. He had never considered a person of the same sex as a romantic interest before. However, touching Sehun didn’t feel gross—rather it was thrilling. Sehun’s existence made Yoonshin’s heart leap. Just moments ago in the office, Yoonshin was prepared to let the other man go all the way.
All of that was evidence of his true feelings, but he had excluded the big picture because he was unaccustomed to it.
Once he recognized that, Sehun’s sharpness pierced him anew.
‘Trying to date a twisted person is hard from the get-go,’ Yoonshin thought.
He sighed away his frustration as he fiddled with the button in his hands.
Act 14
Knock, knock.
After the polite knocking, the door opened cautiously from the outside. Yoonshin, who was at his desk, looked up.
Secretary Tak lightly waved some documents for Yoonshin. “Attorney Do, are you busy?”
“Oh, Secretary Tak. No, come on in,” Yoonshin replied.
Secretary Tak walked up to the desk and handed the associate a file folder. Just as he was about to read it, Secretary Tak gave the other man a stern look and covered the first page with his hand.
“Wait. Before you read, I have to ask you something. Do you know why Senior Attorney Kang is in such an irritable mood these days?” Secretary Tak asked.
Yoonshin listened intently, prepared to answer, then looked baffled. The secretary had thrown him a question that he had also failed to find the answer to.
“He is a bit irritable these days, isn’t he? I’ve been thinking that was the case since a few days ago. Do you know what happened?”
“I don’t know—that’s why I’m asking. He’s asking for pain meds again.”
Naturally, Yoonshin recalled what Sehun had coolly said last time in his office. “I’m already used to people using me.”
Yoonshin thought that maybe he did something to irk the other, but he didn’t have the slightest clue on what went wrong. Despite musing about it these past few days, he still couldn’t find a reason. He didn’t recall making any mistakes or misspeaking. Yoonshin became bewildered and lapsed into his thoughts. Secretary Tak noticed this change and disturbed the associate’s train of thought by changing the topic. “Didn’t you pull me to the side after the meeting about acquiring Youngjin because you wanted to ask me something? You wanted to talk to me the day after.”
Yoonshin finally remembered why Secretary Tak visited him. “Oh, right, that meeting. That wasn’t an appropriate place to talk to you. It was a complete warzone.”
“Right? All the hot-shot lawyers in the firm were gathered there,” Secretary Tak agreed.
“Can you give me any tips?”
“Do you want to catch Attorney Kang’s eyes?” the secretary offered.
Judging by what Sehun said, that seemed to be solved a long while ago.
“Rather than that, I want to be of actual use,” Yoonshin said.
“They’re all good at doing what they do, so if you want to leave a strong impression, you need to get your hands on information that is too fatal to reveal, but difficult to hide and cover up. You know what I mean, right?”
Yoonshin could easily come up with that himself. However, exchanging information under the table wasn’t his forte. A strong network of information was built on money and resources. He needed the boldness to take risks and the decisiveness to cut people off when needed. Moreover, he needed flexible ethics to turn a blind eye to situations of questionable ethics.