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I called Choi Kyung-sik to my bedroom. Due to the skills Seo Dawon had cast onto this space, I realized I could talk comfortably here.
“You want to do an experiment, and you’ll need a syringe?” Choi Kyung-sik stared at me with a strange expression. He then crossed his arms, as if he had seen through me, before I could even respond, “Are you thinking of drawing your own blood?”
“…Yes. But not too much…”
“Haah…” Choi Kyung-sik sighed blatantly before looking me up and down. Then, with an exhausted expression, he nagged at me like a doctor, “Lee-kyung-ssi, do you perhaps even know how much you weigh?”
“Yes?”
“You’re down 10 kilograms from your normal weight. And, considering your recent hospitalizations for the past three months… No–Let’s disregard that. It seems that you don’t really grasp your own body’s condition right now.” With that said, Choi Kyung-sik grabbed my wrist. Even though he was slender like me and didn’t appear to be a physically fit person, his grip was like a jail. To be frank, this was humiliating.
Shaking off his hand, I tried to protest, “That’s…!”
However, ignoring my struggles, Choi Kyung-sik continued, “By the way, about the potion you drink every day… Do you know how much it costs to manufacture that potion? If Guildmaster-nim hadn’t given me a mana stone he had salvaged after dismantling one of his personal items, I wouldn’t be able to think about crafting that potion.”
“What did you say?”
“One of the potion’s effects involves regenerating your blood quickly. You spent so much money on replenishing your body’s blood and now you want to pull it out? Why would you be so inefficient?”
Startled, I looked at Choi Kyung-sik. However, he merely pushed his glasses up, exasperated, before staring at me blatantly. Then, caring little whether or not I heard, he clicked his tongue. With that loathsome perceptiveness, the young Alchemist must have known what reaction I had hoped for. And so…
“Our potion materials have been sufficiently stocked since we raided Geum Miyoung’s safe house. That is to say, we no longer have to destroy innocent items anymore. Are you satisfied?” Choi Kyung-sik glanced at me momentarily while speaking. His expression, in that short moment, looked incredibly angry. That was the most intense and emotional expression I had ever seen on his face.
Of course, when our eyes met, that intensity disappeared in an instant. But, there was a lingering coldness on his face.
Choi Kyung-sik’s smile seemed strained–as if he had barely managed to draw the corners of his lips upwards. The words that tumbled from his lips were colder than ever. “Therefore, Choi Lee-kyung-ssi… You shouldn’t think, ‘I’m sorry I made you destroy your items.’ Rather, you should think of preserving your own body first.”
“No, I meant…”
“No. You still don’t understand what I’m saying. Choi Lee-kyung-ssi, you… You almost died last time. Back when you were trapped by Koo Hui-seo.”
“……”
“That’s why Guildmaster-nim smashed that item in a hurry, had the potion made, and fed it to you. But, what’s this? Now you want to draw your own blood? This isn’t stubbornness–you’re being obstinate.”
As I listened to the Alchemist’s words, it occurred to me that I no longer saw the small ring that Seo Dawon wore on his pinky finger.
After seeing my darkened expression, Choi Kyung-sik opened and closed his lips as if he had more to say before turning his head, holding his remarks inside. He stared at the wall for a long while before speaking in a subdued tone, “Why are you so impatient? What we want from Choi Lee-kyung-ssi… Is for him to stay safe. Just that. You know that well, right? We don’t want you to die a dog’s death.” 1
I felt a little overwhelmed listening to him.
Choi Kyung-sik was probably the most emotionally distant servant from me–not that he cared about that. Rather, he was always willing to observe me quite objectively. Just like a scientist.
Despite that indifference, his words, just now, were full of sincerity. I felt pure anxiety and sadness exuding from the Alchemist, and my heart felt uncomfortably guilty. Pressing my beating heart with one hand, I answered slowly, “About that…. Being safe and all… Now that Ryu Hyerin is gone, my safety is no longer guaranteed. They’re probably already suspecting us. Now, the war hangs on speed.”
Choi Kyung-sik hesitated before looking at me.
To some extent, he must have also realized that we could not continue our operations in this manner. None of the servants had voiced this opinion, but the atmosphere inside the home felt like the calm before the storm.
Choi Kyung-sik did not confirm nor deny my words; however, I could now perceive that he shared my worries.
Despite his silence, I continued to voice my opinions. “I’m not planning to draw a lot of blood–about a pack at most. And, I won’t draw blood often, either.”
“…….”
“I think, in a way, this blood can become a safety device. To confirm my hypothesis, though… I’ll have to conduct some experiments.”
“So, is that why you called for me?”
“Yes. Choi Kyung-sik is the most… Mm. Well, you seem the most rationally cold-hearted.”
Choi Kyung-sik raised his eyebrows, as if he were displeased, but he didn’t deny it. After all, he was the Servant that maintained a professional distance with me.
Woo Ragi was too self-righteous, and I couldn’t predict Garam’s behavior. Seo Dawon and Kim Olim seem to have stabilized, so I’m not sure their reactions to my blood experiments would be significant enough to generate data.
Choi Kyung-sik released a deep sigh, as if he finally understood me. Then, in a broken voice, he said, “I might become too excited by the blood and hurt you.” 2
“About that. Seo Dawon has already attached protective skills to my body; it’ll probably be a bit difficult for you if you try to attack me,” I answered calmly.
Those words seem to have persuaded the Alchemist; Choi Kyung-sik grumbled, “I don’t think Guildmaster-nim had this in mind when he cast those spells.”
“Of course. However, you can leave soothing Seo Dawon to me–you won’t get into trouble over this. All Kyung-sik-ssi needs to do is answer whether or not he’ll participate.”
“……”
“For what it’s worth, if you refuse, my experiments will not end here. I’ll go to Woo Ragi or Jung Garam instead. They may have more violent reactions compared to Choi Kyung-sik-ssi; I wonder which one is a safer option…”
“Haah… Alright. Damn it.” Choi Kyung-sik ran his hand through his hair, disheveling his locks, and inserted his hand into something midair–his inventory perhaps.
When he brought his hand out, there was a square box in his grasp. Without relaxing his uncomfortable expression, he raised his other hand, which had been continuously holding onto my wrist.
“What is that?” I asked.
“I’ll be collecting some blood for now. This model doesn’t hurt, so please relax your hand.”
I blushed a bit when he reminded me not to exaggerate my pain, but since Choi Kyung-sik guaranteed its effectiveness to pain ratio, I placed my finger in the collector. When the Alchemist pressed the button on its side, blood soon leaked out despite the fact that I felt nothing.
Choi Kyung-sik collected a few drops of my blood and placed them in the specially crafted alchemy box. And, when he wiped my finger with something that appeared to be gauze, the wound quickly healed. This was all so painless that I didn’t feel as if my finger had been pricked.
“Is that it?” I asked.
“…Haah. Yes.” Choi Kyung-sik exhaled as if he had been holding his breath for a long while. Perhaps I was the only one that felt the ordeal was painless.
As I looked down at him, I asked, “Choi Kyung-sik-ssi, are you also very sensitive to the smell of blood?”
“Yes.”
“How unexpected. You’ve never shown such tendencies before.”
Choi Kyung-sik raised his head at those words. I watched his red eyes twinkle for a short while.
The young Alchemist, wrangling his impulses with his cold rationality, spoke slowly, “In my case, the desire for your blood presents itself as something similar to dire thirst. It feels like I haven’t drunk anything for around three days.”
“……”
“Actually, even though I know it’s futile, I’ve been drinking tea to try and compensate. It felt terrible–like I was swallowing sand.”
As I listened to him, I remembered that Seo Dawon had once spat out food immediately after taking a bite.
Choi Kyung-sik continued to mutter in a tearful, gloomy voice, “Then, when Choi Lee-kyung-ssi approaches…”
“……”
“It feels like someone is wiping my lips with a wet towel. It feels as if I can breathe a little.”
We stood there, staring at each other. I asked, “Then, why do you always sit so far away?”
“Is there any reason to ask when the answer is so obvious, Lee-kyung-ssi? You already know everything. You must know that, as our contract continues on, there’re more effects that may occur as we open our hearts to you.”
“……”
“I desire to remain a human being, even if I thirst for blood. I don’t want to live as a servant, continuously coveting you.”
“…Dawon-ie and Olim-ie are maintaining their balance. Even if we become close…”
“Those two have strong egos. They have faith in their abilities.” Choi Kyung-sik revealed, for the very first time, his own vulnerabilities. He turned his head, avoiding my gaze, “I’m a normal person in both will and ego…unlike those two.”
—–
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TL: Pre-emptively sorry for the long TL note below:
Let’s talk about Korean and English. Rather, let’s talk about how English doesn’t have many forms of address that carry meaning. When “you” is spoken, usually the tone of the word is determined by the tone of the speaker. ‘You’ can be angry, loving, etc…but that doesn’t come off in writing inherently. Thus, English novels need a signifier or adjective to show what kind of “you” is being used.
Korean is different. I’ve said before that Koreans don’t really use pronouns. We often use names when talking to or about others. However, when pronouns are used, they carry connotations. The neutral ‘너 (nuh)’ is informal but devoid of emotional connotation unless there is a tonal signifier. This is our equivalent of the English ‘You.’ However, Koreans have other ways to say ‘you.’ ‘당신 (dang-shin)’ is one of them. (Which is how Choi Kyung-sik refers to Choi Lee-kyung in their argument above).
당신 is a complicated term–it’s not used often. As a pronoun, it paradoxically is both intimate and distant. For example, when someone you don’t know says ‘당신’ to you, it can be that the person is drawing a line in the sand–creating distance. 당신 is also used between *married* couples to give the connotation of ‘honey’ or ‘dear’ to the addressee. However, this is complicated further by the fact that 당신 is also used to show displeasure. Within married couples, while 당신 can be a sign of intimacy, it can also be used by the wife or husband to show that they’re upset with each other…Especially when 당신 isn’t used often in their relationship.
It’s funny–I often see Google Translate use 당신 when they translate the English ‘you’ into Korean. Because that’s quite formal. However, that’s when I know that a Korean comment on Youtube or something is google translated–Very few people online use ‘당신.’
Footnotes
I think I’ve explained this before, but a ‘dog’s death’ refers to a death that is too pitiful for any human. I’ll explain the specific ‘you’ Choi Kyung-sik uses in the footnotes below.