ââŠDonât ever! Donât ever do something like this again. Understood?â I clung onto the Mage.
However, Seo Dawon merely smiled coldly. âLee-kyung-ah⊠Thatâs something you should say after youâve sliced through my stomach.â
Though his tone was chilly, it seemed like his anger had lost momentum.
After his sarcastic remark, Seo Dawon seized my neck with one hand. Though he didnât squeeze hard enough to choke me, I knew that he could easily break my neck with just a press of his thumb.
An uneasy atmosphere settled between us. However, the Mage couldnât even properly threaten to break my neckâhis fingers still trembled; I covered his hand with mine. Seo Dawon briefly glared at my hand before relaxing his grip; he then slowly lowered his hand down my exposed front.
âI thought about it.â He pressed on my most fatal injury, right under my prominent ribs. I flinched and inhaled reflexively; his hand did not stop pressuring that spot. Maintaining that position, Seo Dawon leaned in to whisper, âMy desire to kill you stems from instinct, regardless of my desires or will.â
ââŠâŠâ
âPlus, you have no idea whether or not your affection towards me is real.â
Seo Dawon had long stated he was drawn to my blood. Of course, he had never explicitly shown his desire for my blood in my presence, but, anytime we broached this topic, Seo Dawonâs expression looked so sensitive.
Since he never had this sort of impulse while alive, I thought this desire for blood may be a penalty crafted by the system.
And the Mage loathed that desire. He was someone that wantedâneededâcontrol over his situation; thus, he became angry at the barbaric (what sick system would make someone salivate over blood?) system that attempted to manipulate his actions.
However, this time, he was also doubtful of my own feelings. He attributed my affection for him as an emotion manufactured by this âcontract.â
At first, I couldnât understand what he said, so I stared blankly at him; soon, anger slowly rose withinâenough for me to forget my constant anxiety. It was like he was totally denying my feelings for him.
ââŠWhat nonsense is that?â I asked, as if I were picking a fight.
Seo Dawon, though, was unperturbed. Rather, he had a reply ready, as if he was waiting for my question. âRagi saw. Someone with âmy faceâ killed you in that nightmare.â
ââŠWhat?â
âHowever, you remembered none of that.â
I was simply dumbfoundedâWoo Ragi never said anything like that to me. âHow did Woo Ragi see inside my dreams?â
However, that wasnât important right now. Did I lose my memory through a trick from the system or through shock? âThe doctor said that there is a high probability that my memories have failed due to excessive bleeding. When I recoverâ!â
ââBut, I can roughly guess what had happened: who made you injured like this. You arenât scared of other people, but youâre frightened from just seeing me.â
ââŠâŠâ
âYou thought it was strange too, right?â
Of course, I thought my behavior was strange. However, I didnât think much furtherâI simply thought that Koo Hui-seo may have done something and not the Mage. Even though someone wearing Seo Dawonâs face may have harmed me, it must have been the ex-chimera instead.
At that moment, as if he had read my thoughts, Seo Dawon snorted. âWhat a convenient memory.â
ââŠâŠâ
âWhat do you think will happen if I stab you right now? I think I know the answer.â
ââŠâŠâ
âI can see it on your face, youâre thinking, âServants canât kill Masters anyway, so he canât truly intend to kill me.'â
ââŠâŠâ
With that said, Seo Dawon grabbed my wrist, the arm that was still clutching onto the Mage. After applying enough strength for me to feel the intent behind his grasp, he stated in a cynical tone, âWhat if I were to break your arm for no reason? Thatâs not a âlife-threateningâ injury, after all. Could you forgive me for that?â
ââŠâŠâ
âWhat if I were to rape you here? Will you say, âIt doesnât matter because I like him?'â
ââŠâŠâ I tried to deny him.
Seo Dawon saw me open my mouth to answer and pulled at my hand violently. âWhy are you only denying with your words? Right now, it feels like youâre unable to shake off my hand.â
When I heard that, I belatedly tried to push his arm away; however, strangely, my hands remained still. It felt like they were submerged in very deep water, and their mobility was reduced due to great pressure. I couldnât move my arm up and down easily; in the end, I couldnât push him away.
As he said, I couldnât defend myself against the threat of his attacks. My body simply didnât have the will to defend itself. That was absolutely shocking.
âNowâŠâ
ââŠâŠâ
âI think you finally understand.â With that said, Seo Dawon stood up. A deep shadow cast over me as he moved away.
However, I couldnât let him go.
The Mage believed that I only liked him because of the scenario or the quirks of the system⊠The thought that he held those foolish beliefs while looking down at me every night made my head steam and my temper rise.
I clenched my teeth and called out to him. â[Seo Dawon], this is a âcommand.â Donât leave. Stay here.â
Seo Dawonâs red eyes flashed, and two shadows fell on the blinds next to the bed.
The mage stopped in his attempt to turn around and stared at me. I slowly raised my torso, using his rigid, doll-like arms.
Finally, we were face to face. After wiping away the tears that threatened to spill due to anger, I could finally speak to my heartâs content. âHey, youâŠâ
âYes.â
âAre you an i-idiot? YouâŠrefused my blood when I slit my palm for you. You said that thereâs another way. Why are you acting like youâre the only one that can resist the systemâŠand not me?â
""
ââŠâŠâ Seo Dawon didnât answer, but he blinked obediently. His current expression was my favorite. I glared at him resentfully and embraced his head.
Judging from his reaction, the Mage seemed determined to dismiss all my advances as something manipulated by the scenario or a trick from the system.
More than knowing that the Mage desired my blood, it felt more despairing to know that Seo Dawon doubted my feelings and wanted to distance himself from me. He even thought he was acting on my behalfâto âprotectâ me.
âSince when was he such a romanticâŠ?!â The more I thought about it, the angrier I became. So, heâll start to distance himself even more to âprotectâ me? His judgment was awful.
That, at least, was clear.
It seemed like Seo Dawon was disappointed in himself because he thought I would die. And, because of that, he wanted to push me away? A while ago, he was so overwhelmed with jealousyâhe showed off so much in front of Han Kiseok⊠I didnât ask that from himâŠ!
âThinking about it, heâs so overprotectiveâŠâ
What was even more amusing was his confidence that heâd be able to kill me.
Seo Dawon liked me more than he realized. That was absolutely clear. However, if I were to ask him to confirm this fact, heâd deny everything.
Heâd probably continue to think up words to scar my heart. Like today, heâd try to scare me so that Iâd run away on my own. At the same time, if a person like Han Kiseok stumbled around my vicinity, heâd gladly interrupt. Even if I try to reject the suitor, heâd interrupt. I could clearly see his pained struggles as he tries to let me go, despite the very idea of being apart from me bringing him agony.
âSeo Dawon, this is a command.â
âYes.â
âClose your eyes and stay still.â
His jewel-like red eyes vanished, as if they had been sucked into his skull. [efn_note] This is⊠I believe a poetic way to say âhis red eyes vanished from view.â Except, I have a horrible mental image now. [/efn_note]
I slowly circled the IV needle stuck in the back of my hand. I deliberately tore at the skin while still leaving the needle stuck inside.
Blood billowed up along the torn line; in that state, I walked over to the Mage on my knees. Then, I raised my bleeding hand and swept it against his cheek. His cheeks slightly twitched in response to the scent of blood, but he did not open his eyes, still faithful to my âcommand.â
So, I was able to comfortably kiss his lips. Seo Dawon didnât move, but the moment my lips met his, my âcommandâ had already subsided. The Mage slowly opened his eyes.