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Chapter 108
Seo Dawon’s face, which looked back at me after closing the door, was full of curiosity, but he didn’t rush me when he saw how hesitant, unable to form the words I wanted, I was.
I tried to keep as calm as I could, in this room full of silence, before opening my lips, “I wanted to ask
about Ryu Hyerin.”
“Ryu Hyerin?”
“I mean
Lim Jisoo and Koo Kyungman had a grudge against you, right? So, was there anything about Ryu Hyerin you can pinpoint
”
However, before I could further beat around the bush, Seo Dawon released a short sigh and said, “You heard from Sangyoon, huh?”
“

.” While nodding, I wondered if I had been too immature in showing my anxiety.
However, Seo Dawon, not pointing that out specifically, turned my body physically around with his arms, and stepped closer to me. And then, he asked, “Do you want to know what kind of relationship Hyerin and I had?”
“Of course I would like to know
 I mean, you don’t offer this kind of information unless asked.” I tried to put on my best professional face forward, as if I was purely concerned for the state of our contract.
Contrary to what I expected from my prying, Seo Dawon answered coolly while staring directly at me, “There was a rumor that appeared when I often hung out with Hyerin-ie. The both of us used that rumor as well.”
“

”
“As for engagement
that’s another one of those rumors.”
It sounded as if he was claiming that he and Ryu Hyerin were putting on a lovey-dovey performance for business.
However, I realized that Seo Dawon’s answer diverted the matter of his true feelings from me; aside from his professional relationship with her, I couldn’t tell from his answer whether or not he liked Ryu Hyerin or what her betrayal meant to him.
Considering how Ryu Hyerin’s tears alone incited intense hatred within Kim Olim, I thought the High Priest’s presence in Seo Dawon’s heart would not be small. Perhaps Seo Dawon
had been acting this entire time so as to not attract my attention.
However, I couldn’t ask him if he liked Ryu Hyerin at this moment. Not only was that a rude question, from the moment that Seo Dawon knew I was curious about his feelings, I would be handing over the handle of a knife to the Mage.
However, Seo Dawon suddenly reached out to me. Gently, he stroked my cheek and whispered, soothingly, “When I first opened my eyes after being resurrected as your servant, all emotions, besides two, faded away.”
“

”
“The first was my hatred for those that have toppled me into this existence.”
“

”
“The other, a craving for the contractor that stood before me.”
Therefore, he smiled and explained that whatever feelings he had for Ryu Hyerin before would not become a setback to their plans.
After pondering what he meant, the shocking underlying meaning of his words delivered a blow to the back of my head. So, when he opened his eyes as a servant, he held nothing but vengeance and obsession towards me

I had wondered why the resurrected guild members were being so nonchalant towards each other. If it were me, I’d run to them, arms stretched wide for a hug, as a fellow warrior who fought to protect each other on an unfavorable battlefield.
So, I left them alone, wondering if conversation would flow easily if I weren’t there. It wasn’t that: it’s just that all those emotions have been swept away.
Why couldn’t I have noticed this disharmony? I held onto Seo Dawon’s clothes, distressed from shock, and shouted, “
Why. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I knew you’d make an expression like that,” Seo Dawon answered, kindly.
“But
!”
“It’s inevitable for there to be many restrictions when you’re revived.”
“

”
“Every decision has its own price.” Seo Dawon held my trembling hand, as if he were telling me that there was no need for sympathy. “Lee-kyung-ah, think. Souls that a Necromancer would want to use must have great power. If such resurrected beings are burdened by the relationships of their previous life, then that would rather be more ridiculous.”
“

”
“For example, let’s say the Necromancer is facing off against an enemy. But, it turns out that the opponent is actually a member of the servant’s family. Then, is the Necromancer supposed to give up and flee?”
“

”
“If the situation is one where they can’t run away, then what are they supposed to do? They must fight back or be killed. If the servant had as much ego as any other living being, then of course they wouldn’t be able to kill their own relative.”
“

”
“How ridiculous–a weapon that can judge and choose their victims. A weapon has no need to be tormented by something like that. That’s up to the living ‘human’ who wields the weapon.”
“

”
“So, when you’re a servant, all unnecessary emotions will vaporize, and all that is left is the craving they feel for the contractor; this is a necessary restraint for a weapon.”
I couldn’t talk anymore and simply looked up at him.
Seeing the Mage’s calm red irises reminded me of all that had happened to us. Meaningful words exchanged, his weird obsessions, and the way words that weren’t said out loud were conveyed through pointed gazes

‘After all, you have a better weapon on you than a dagger.’
I recalled something Seo Dawon had told me one day: it was neither empty talk nor bluffs. I felt a heavy pain on my chest, as if someone was pounding it.
Similarly, I realized why so many Necromancers failed with their [Vengeful Ghost Contract.] After all, it was a contract that stated one must become a living tool without much promise for anything better after achieving their brief revenge. Even for those that have unjustly died, there must not be many vengeful ghosts that are willing to go through with something so crazy. What was more
there were probably even less people who had lived such shining lives enough to throw away everything to sign with a Necromancer

“So, you don’t have to worry about Ryu Hyerin.” Seo Dawon raised my hand and kissed the very confused me on the finger–exactly on the pattern that symbolized my contract with him.
I pushed him away, startled as if I had been burned. “W-What are you doing?”
“There’s something you want from me.”
My fingers in Seo Dawon’s grasp flinched. I missed the timing to deny him and simply stared up.
Seo Dawon tilted his head without blinking, as if he were staring at me through the sights of a gun. Then, he stepped closer–close enough for our lips to touch–before saying, “Command me, Lee-kyung-ah.”
* * *
[Clack, clack!]
Lackey came to me, bringing the diary that I had stuffed into the trash can. Its expression seemed to say, [Isn’t this important to you?]
“No. I’m just going to throw it away
”
[Clack, clack

]
Perhaps it thought it was being helpful and expected compliments. As soon as I waved my hands, the skeleton’s shoulders dropped.
If it were any other day, I would have made a giant show of accepting the diary quickly, but now I couldn’t afford the mental effort for such consideration. I felt sorry for Lackey, but I had to concentrate on keeping his head steady so he wasn’t buried in the overwhelming emotions.
“What about this?” The Mage asked.
“
Take it.”
Of course, Seo Dawon easily ignored my efforts. He came out of nowhere, asking if he could bring the vase that mother sent. Seo Dawon’s expression was the same as usual, and I couldn’t read any of his inner thoughts.
He had no problem lingering around me; perhaps, as a man who’s had multiple people like him, he had no trouble miserably dashing the hopes of his suitors. Of course, it wasn’t like he knew he’d done that to me.
I maintained my poker face the best I could, only inwardly grumbling. Since the metaphorical bomb happened last night, I wasn’t sure if my poker face was immaculate.
Still, it was fortunate that there were things to be done at this moment. If we weren’t in the middle of moving, I would have locked myself in the bedroom to cry alone
But, on second thought, I thought the servants wouldn’t leave me alone if they heard me sobbing; I spat out a melancholic sigh.
Today, we were moving to our newly purchased home. The concept of moving trucks and the likes of traditional moving didn’t exist in the hub–one had personal inventories that could carry all luggage. So, you just had to gather the luggage together and sort it well. Therefore, the process was far from hectic.
Reluctant to let the fact that I stayed up all night show on my face, I emptied the inventory to make room. After purchasing additional inventory, I only put in the things I bought on my way to the old home or brought from outside the hub to take to the new house.
The servants also helped with the preparations. Seo Dawon carried my luggage and helped to organize it. Jung Garam and Kim Olim were sitting on the sofa, ordering needed furniture for the new home through my cell phone.
[Clack clack?]
Of course, Lackey was no different. This time Lackey entered the room carrying flower trees in some pots that I had tried to grow a while ago. Actually, I was going to throw the pots away, but I couldn’t bring myself to disappoint his tilted head. So, I simply patted its skull to say that he did a good job. The skeleton seemed happy, releasing a quiet [clack clack clack].
‘ ‘Command me,’ what on earth are you talking about
.’
‘Ah, come on
’ Before Lackey’s cuteness could sink in, I suddenly recalled how stupid I sounded yesterday.
Unable to stand it, I closed both eyes firmly. Even when I closed my eyes, however, the faint memory did not disappear. Instead, the vivid recollection became clearer, and soon I could distinctly hear Seo Dawon’s soft voice.
TL: There’s a few things to say that I thought were going to be too long for footnotes! So, I’ll just put them in the translation notes at the end.
1) Seo Dawon, when speaking to Lee-kyung about his fading emotions, actually says something that gives the nuance of “roughly said” or 'simply put.” It means that there’s more to this, but he doesn’t feel the need to say it at the moment. Of course, Lee-kyung is more devastated about what this all means for being a Necromancer, and is focused on that.
2) This puts an interesting light on how Kim Olim was shocked that a necromancer would expect a Paladin to become a weapon for the ‘evil.’ But also how she views the person who put her precious people in a contract like this. I really do wonder what Seo Dawon thought when he first agreed to this.
3) I feel sorry for MC . He’s dense, but I get why he’s so willfully dense tbh. He’s deep in denial
because being out of denial would mean acknowledging some awful facts. Including the fact that Seo Dawon is
you know
dead.