But Deatrice would be a fool to believe the words of a fickle man. Not to mention, he was angry all morning, said childish things, and acted like a listless kid itching with the need to prank someone.
When Deatrice didn’t say anything, Lucius added more, thinking that his earlier apology was lacking.
“I’ll make sure not to drink alcohol in the future, if you want me to.”
“It doesn’t matter.” Deatrice didn’t think alcohol was the problem and instead mentioned another matter, “I just want you to make your stance clear.”
“My stance?”
She glanced at him lightly, “Sometimes you’re kind and nice, sometimes you’re mean. I am already aware that you hate me, so there’s no need to do the former especially when we’re alone together.”
“Pretending to be kind to you?” He laughed, flabbergasted with her words.
“I have never faked my good attitude towards you, because why would I do such a burdensome thing? Just because you’ve never been genuine with your feelings and treatment, especially with me, doesn’t mean that everyone else is the same as you.”
“But—”
“And who said that I hate you?” He frowned as if he had been insulted. “I am not that unreasonable to still hold a grudge up to this day. You say I hate you? My wife, it’s already been six years.”
“But yesterday—”
“I only did that because I was too drunk to control myself.”
He spoke as-a-matter-of-factly, but Deatrice didn’t think what he said was the truth. He had already mentioned during that awful carriage ride, that people tend to reveal the truth when they lose control of their emotions…
Last night, he didn’t seem as completely free from their past as he would like her to believe.
Silence fell.
In the end, Lucius let out a sigh, sensing that she did not accept his words.
“Alright. Perhaps not everything has been completely forgotten. There are those certain times when I would think about the past and feel inevitable resentment towards you, but that feeling would only last for a brief moment before it’s gone.”
Lucius told her honestly.
“Besides, we’re already married. Shouldn’t we both get away from our murky past and start our relationship anew?” He tried persuading once he saw her lips slowly turning into a frown.
Then, he added another apology.
“And I’m truly sorry about what happened yesterday. Something must’ve gone wrong with my head back then because no matter how drunk I was, those things shouldn’t have happened. When we go back to the mansion, I assure you that won’t happen again. We will sleep in different rooms, and you won’t see me as much then.”
Deatrice frowned. It wasn’t that she didn’t agree to his words. On the contrary, she was more accepting of this new arrangement. It’s just that…
Leaving the past behind, living a new life again, him saying that such an insult would never occur again because they wouldn’t get to see each other that much anyway… Deatrice felt like those weren’t the words that she wanted to hear from him.
Her frown deepened, then she felt a sense of embarrassment.
What did she want to hear from him, then?
Deep inside, she had already braced herself for the time when he would say that he would just make her hate him.
What exactly is it that she wanted to hear from him?
Deatrice didn’t know. She just… didn’t want him to be so kind to her anymore…
It’s already becoming increasingly more difficult for her to endure whenever he would show that friendly side of him. His affectionate touch and his tender smiles—
—she just wanted it all to end. Everything was making her feel the taste of regret.
After a long bout of quietude, Deatrice finally spoke.
“Alright. I am… glad to hear that.”
***
Deatrice became sick on their trip back to the mansion. The duke had sent them a gift to take back with them, which had significantly slowed down their progress, lengthening their journey to an uncomfortable span of time.
She claimed she could tolerate the pain, but her face was already showing signs of pain. Lucius looked displeased with her forcing herself and told her to recline on the cushion next to her.
But Deatrice had only avoided his touch and spoke coldly.
“Don’t touch me.”
The heat of her hand rubbing against his felt a little too hot to the touch and dissatisfaction rose in his heart.
Despite her rising fever, the woman still acted as if her dignity was of utmost importance.
Still, Lucius maintained a calm appearance. He didn’t want to hurt her any further by arguing or forcing something on her, let alone today that she was ill. Therefore, he could only let her do as she wished.
But in the end, Deatrice could no longer fight it and had finally succumbed to the sweet call of sleep, eventually leaning against him in an uncomfortable state.
He let her do what she wanted, so Lucius did what he wanted too.
He gave her medicine, wiped a damp towel on her forehead and neck to reduce the heat, then he adjusted her into a more comfortable position by making her recline against the cushion.
He attended to Deatrice, just like that.
“After all, in the public’s eyes, you’re my wife…” He muttered to himself, saying words like how this small favor would be nothing more than a formality because he couldn’t leave her sick like an insensitive scum.
Due to his efforts, her fever gradually began to go down. When they were only a few distance away from the mansion, Deatrice’s condition improved a lot, giving her ample time to look around for a short while.
Deatrice took a short tour around the estate. Right now, it was just a property that the emperor had told Lucius to manage, but as the two of them were now married, it was land that they would soon rightfully own.
The mansion was on a slightly smaller scale, but the entirety of the place looked rich and promising. Even the garden was an impressively beautiful spectacle.
All the servants went out to welcome the master and his wife coming together for the first time.
As it was the first time she met them, Deatrice felt conscious of her appearance and tried fixing her clothes and her hair. But then, the look on her face as Lucius assisted her down the carriage wasn’t very good.
It was because Lucius told her that he would call for a doctor, but Deatrice refused.
“Nonsense! Which newly wedded couple would call a doctor just as soon as they come back? Do not fret that much, I will get better after some rest.”
She clearly declined and their conversation seemed to end there.
The head butler then began introducing the servants to her, and after being greeted in unison by said servants, she followed the butler inside as he showed her the interior of what would soon become her new home.