Chapter 22

Facing the Wall [to Reflect]

Can you stop talking about my little bird?!

The middle aged woman took Gu Mingxi and Pang Qian to the second floor, and led them down a dark, narrow corridor. There was a musty smell in the air. Occasionally, they would hear sounds from the rooms on either side of the corridor. And very unexpectedly, a half naked man with a smoke in his mouth walked past them.

Seeing Gu Mingxi and Pang Qian, the others would glance curiously at them. The sweeping glance over Pang Qian’s body made her lower her head and hide at Gu Mingxi’s side.

Gu Mingxi quietly comforted her, “Pang Pang, don’t be afraid.”

Pang Qian had never been to this kind of place before. How could she not be afraid? She could only stick to Gu Mingxi’s side and walk next to him. The middle aged woman brought them to a door at the end of the corridor. When she opened the door, a sour smell poured out. Pang Qian wasn’t a super spoiled big miss, but seeing that room, she felt it really was too shabby.

The room was very small, only 7 or 8 sqm. The walls were mottled and the floor was covered with a plastic mat. There were two 1 meter wide beds against either wall. The white bed sheets had already turned a bit yellow. Between the beds was a bedside table, and on top of it was a lamp and two cups. Across from the beds was a TV. Strapped to the window was an old air conditioning unit. But that stuff wasn’t anything. The worst thing was that there was no bathroom in their room.

Gu Mingxi furrowed his brows in displeasure. Pang Qian pulled at his sleeve and said, “Gu Mingxi, I don’t want to stay here.”

Gu Mingxi turned around and said to the middle aged woman, “There’s no bathroom here. How can we stay here?”

The woman turned around and opened another door in the corridor. So the bathroom was right across the hall. Inside, there was a squatting toilet, a sink, and a hot water machine. She said, “This bathroom isn’t communal, it’s just for this room. Everything’s in there, right? Your room’s at the end of the corridor, so other than the bathroom cleaner, no one else will come here. It’s very safe. And you’re both students, so I’ll only take 50 dollars.”

Gu Mingxi said, “Money isn’t the problem. Don’t you have any standard rooms? It’s okay if it costs more.”

“Little bro, you don’t have an identification card. I don’t dare rent you a standard room.” The middle aged woman continued, “You should know, if you go to another hostel, you won’t get any room at all. What if the police go raid the place? Then it’s trouble for everyone.”

Gu Mingxi was vaguely aware that what she was saying was true. He was seriously considering it, when Pang Qian pouted and let out a puff of air. Gu Mingxi thought a moment longer, then said, “Okay, we’ll take this room then. For one night.”

The middle aged woman handed the keys over to Pang Qian and then left. Gu Mingxi and Pang Qian entered the room and put down their backpacks. Right after he closed the door, he lifted his leg up to open the window.

The room was very stuffy inside. After the window was open for a bit, a surge of hot air came through it. Gu Mingxi sniffled, and he felt that with just a little work, the air in the room had become a little fresher.

Pang Qian sat down on the edge of a bed, her expression crestfallen. Looking at the darkened and dirtied floor mats and the spider web in the corner of the room, she couldn’t stop from complaining. “Gu Mingxi, why do we have to live here? This place is so bad.”

Gu Mingxi, who was looking for the remote for the air conditioner, said, “Who’s the one who wouldn’t call their dad’s friend? We don’t have any identification cards, so any better hostels wouldn’t let us stay there.”

Pang Qian pouted. Then she suddenly recalled Xie Yi. Xie Yi should be in Shanghai at this time. She wasn’t sure where he was staying, but he should be at the comic convention in the daytime.

Pang Qian got an idea. She happily said to Gu Mingxi, “Gu Mingxi! Can’t we find Xie Yi tomorrow?! Then we can ask him to help us get a room wherever he’s staying at. What do you think?”

Gu Mingxi finally found the remote, and was sitting cross-legged on the bed as he examined it. After hearing her words, he looked up at her. After a moment, he said, “Whatever.”

Seeing him unhappy, Pang Qian also became gloomier. Gu Mingxi turned on the air conditioner. It made some clanking noises and then the blinds opened, and there was a whirring noise.

Gu Mingxi went under the air conditioner and looked up at it. He murmured, “Why isn’t the air cold?”

He set the temperature to 20 degrees (68 F), but the air flowing out was still warm. Gu Mingxi gave up and said to Pang Qian, “The air conditioner is broken. It’s one night, just tolerate it.”

Pang Qian was upset and yelled at him, “It’s such a hot day! Even if there’s no air conditioning, there should at least be an electric fan! Otherwise, how can we sleep tonight?!”

Gu Mingxi’s eyes dropped and he thought for a moment. Then he nodded and said, “Okay, I’ll go downstairs to ask if they have an electric fan.”

He had just started heading for the door when Pang Qian jumped up and grabbed onto his sleeve. His s.h.i.+rt collar was pulled to the side. “Gu Mingxi, I’ll go with you!”

When he looked back, Pang Qian was blinking her eyes at him. He laughed quietly and said, “Pang Pang, why don’t we go out to eat dinner first. And we can take care of this stuff when we get back. It’s already 7 o’clock. Soon, everywhere will be closed.”

Pang Qian listened and nodded. Gu Mingxi walked over to his backpack. He sat on the bed and used his feet to pull open the zipper, then he pulled out his bamboo back scratcher, the “help yourself.”

He tilted his head and held the back scratcher between his head and shoulder. He said to Pang Qian, “I need to go to the bathroom first.”

Pang Qian stared at him and kept holding onto his s.h.i.+rt until they walked to the door. Gu Mingxi finally had to say, “Pang Pang, I’m going to the bathroom. Stop following me. Just wait in the room. No one will come.”

Pang Qian asked quietly, “Do you need my help?”

“No, I can take care of it myself.” Gu Mingxi smiled at her, then lightly b.u.mped her calf with his heel, as if to placate her. “Wait a bit and I’ll treat you to KFC. There’s one near here, I saw it from the car on the way here.”

“Aren’t we each paying half for meals?” Pang Qian asked. “I brought 500 dollars with me.”

“No, you can spent your money at the comic convention tomorrow. Didn’t you say that there were a bunch of comic books that you wanted to buy?” Gu Mingxi smiled again after he finished. He raised his leg and opened the door, then went out.

Pang Qian didn’t close the door all the way. She stared out at the door to the bathroom. Gu Mingxi was inside for a very long time. Pang Qian got really anxious and even wanted to knock on the door. Then suddenly, the door opened. His head was crooked to the side, as he walked out with the back scratcher.

He didn’t look any different, except the slippers he wore were a bit wet. His trousers too. Seeing Pang Qian staring at his feet, Gu Mingxi quickly explained, “This is water! I washed my feet, it’s not…something else.”

They locked the door and went out to eat KFC. When they left the noisy environment of the train station, the small streets carried a different, foreign style. Night was falling, but the alleys were still full of people enjoying the cool evening air. That kind of scene was a bit reminiscent of E City. Pang Qian’s restless heart gradually calmed.

She looked around curiously, thinking about how she was actually a three hour train ride away from home, here in Shanghai. She’d be spending the night here with Gu Mingxi. She suddenly felt a bit proud, and said to Gu Mingxi, “This is my first time spending the night away from home, on my own.”

Gu Mingxi smiled and said, “Actually, it is for me too.”

“You’re not scared?” Pang Qian asked. “I really was scared to death earlier. I didn’t want to get into that van at all.”

Gu Mingxi just smiled and didn’t say anything. Actually, he had been a bit scared as well. After all, he was just a 15 year old kid. Leaving home to go to a strange, foreign city would definitely make him a bit uneasy.

After seeing how scared Pang Qian got, Gu Mingxi had to suppress his uneasiness. He figured that the things he had to face were more or less just everyday activities, like going to the bathroom, eating, buying train tickets, etc. If he needed to, he could just ask Pang Qian to help him. There wasn’t anything that was life halting.

But for Pang Qian, it was more of a psychological fear. He could very clearly feel how much she was relying on him. And curiously, that made him feel kind of happy. And then, he felt that he wasn’t so scared anymore.

Pang Qian packed up their KFC dinner and carried it in her hand, as she walked back to the guesthouse with Gu Mingxi. Gu Mingxi asked the front desk if they had an electric fan, and the person working there answered impatiently that they didn’t. Pang Qian s.h.i.+vered a bit from fear and tugged at his s.h.i.+rt hem. The two of them had no choice but to just return to their room.

They had dinner in their room. Pang Qian opened their hamburger box and spread the food out on the table. Gu Mingxi just stood next to the table and bent down to eat. Occasionally he would take a few sips of cola.

He didn’t really like to eat Western-styled fast food, because there weren’t any utensils, which made eating rather inconvenient for him. But Pang Qian liked to eat it, so he just went along.

After eating, Gu Mingxi told Pang Qian to go to the bathroom to wash up and sleep early. Pang Qian listened and took a change of clothes and a towel with her. The bathroom was very cramped and there wasn’t any hot water. Pang Qian couldn’t be bothered to fuss about it though. She just clenched her teeth and s.h.i.+vered as she washed her hair and showered. When she finished, she went back to their room.

Gu Mingxi was watching TV when Pang Qian rushed in, wearing her pajamas with her hair dripping wet. He asked, “Was there hot water?”

She said angrily, “No, it was freezing cold.”

Gu Mingxi thought for a moment, then said, “Looks like we’ll have to stay somewhere else tomorrow night.”

“Mm.”

“Then, I’m going to shower.” He stood up and started gathering his things. Recalling the layout of that small bathroom, Gu Mingxi turned to Pang Qian and said, “There’s nowhere to sit in there. I’m going to have to take my clothes off in here first.”

Pang Qian was drying her hair with a towel as she watched TV. She answered casually, “Mm.”

“…” Seeing her without reaction, he said, “Turn around.”

“What for.” Pang Qian stared at him.”This place is so small. You want me to stare at the wall? It’s fine, just do what you need to. When we were younger, I even played with your little bird…”

Gu Mingxi was going to go crazy. He gnashed his teeth and said, “Can you stop talking about my little bird?!”

Pang Qian gave an affirmative sound and turned her head in a huff. Staring at the white wall, she said, “Hurry up!”

Gu Mingxi quickly took off his clothes. Taking them off was very easy. He didn’t have to unb.u.t.ton it because the neckline was pretty loose. He shrugged a bit and bent over, then tugged at the s.h.i.+rt with his right foot, and the s.h.i.+rt came right off.

His pants were easy too. They had an elastic waistband, so he just pulled a bit with each foot and they fell down.

Gu Mingxi carried his clean clothes from his mouth. His towel was draped over his shoulders, and his back scratcher was held up between his cheek and shoulder. He mumbled over to Pang Qian, “I’m opening the door. Hurry and close your eyes!”

Pang Qian cried out loudly, “You’re so annoying!”

Gu Mingxi quickly ran out, but he forgot to bring his keys.

Half an hour later, Pang Qian was lying on the bed watching TV when a knocking came at the door. She quickly became alert, got off the bed and walked to the door. “Who is it?”

“Pang Pang, it’s me. Open the door!”

Hearing Gu Mingxi’s voice, Pang Qian immediately opened the door. At the same time, she complained, “You’re the one who said to make sure you take the keys when you go to the bathroom, but you didn’t bring them…”

Then she stared blankly.

Gu Mingxi stood in front of her, a faint glow coming from the wall lamp in the hall. Pang Qian realized that hos body was bare, and he was only wearing a pair of underpants.

It had been many years since Pang Qian had seen Gu Mingxi’s crippled body. The last time was probably when she was about 9 years old. She went over to Gu Mingxi’s house to play. The 10 year old Gu Mingxi was wearing a white tank top that a lot of boys wore at the time. His round shoulders were prominently visible, along with the winding surgical scars.

What did Pang Qian say at that time? She vaguely recalled that she’d said his scars were terrifying.

From then on, Gu Mingxi never exposed his crippled shoulders in front of her.

Pang Qian had nearly forgotten about that matter, but after seeing Gu Mingxi’s body then, she remembered it. Gu Mingxi was a bit embarra.s.sed, so Pang Qian leaned to the side to let him in. He still had a towel draped over his shoulder, and he’d changed his underpants. In a quiet voice, he said, “Sorry I forgot to bring my keys.”

Pang Qian, “…”

“Stop looking at me. Turn around and let me put my clothes back on.”

He’d already walked back to his bed to pull out a clean t-s.h.i.+rt from his bag. Pang Qian didn’t listen to him, and quietly turned around to look at him. Gu Mingxi was standing on one leg, his body shaking slightly. His right foot was ruffling through his bag.

Pang Qian looked at his back and suddenly realized that he’d grown a lot compared to the thin Gu Mingxi in her mind. He’d gotten taller and his shoulders were wider. He wasn’t as skinny and bony as before either, as if the meat had finally grown out. His legs were long and straight, giving the image of very smooth lines, looking like they’d be very strong.

She saw his shoulders again. Gu Mingxi’s amputation surgery seemed to have destroyed his underarm hair follicles, so his armpit area was very clean and you didn’t see any hair at a glance. The scars there had changed with time and got lighter, but the shape was still the same.

Pang Qian stared at his shoulders, wondering how she’d ever thought they were terrifying. Looking at them today, she didn’t feel that at all. She’d often patted his shoulders, and when she touched them, she never felt that it was strange.

Gu Mingxi hadn’t noticed that Pang Qian had been secretly watching him. Just then, he turned to the side slightly, about to put on his clothes. Pang Qian saw the spot where his little bird was. The little, soft thing from her memories had now become a big lump under his underpants!

Pang Qian’s face started to redden, and Gu Mingxi seemed to feel something. He suddenly turned around and their eyes met.

Pang Qian opened, but then closed her mouth. Under his burning eyes, she slowly turned around and faced the wall [to reflect one’s misdeeds]. Behind her, it was quiet for awhile. Then the rustling of his actions sounded again.

After a few minutes, Gu Mingxi said quietly, “I’m done, you can turn around now.”