Chapter 15

Warm Smile

Crab, did you know, Gu Mingxi was just watching us play.

Pang Qian’s scores dropped on the midterms for the second semester. She only scored well enough to be 37th in the cla.s.s. When she returned home, she was naturally scolded by Pang Shuisheng. Fortunately, he didn’t beat her.

Pang Shuisheng smacked the table and asked Pang Qian, “Tell me! Why don’t you go to school with Gu Mingxi anymore? Why did you want to change your seat? After you spent two months doing homework with Gu Mingxi, your test scores weren’t bad! Why have they dropped again?! He never blamed you for being troublesome! You’re just too lazy! After being deskmates with him for so many years, why didn’t you ever learn to be hardworking like him? If you continue like this, you won’t even get into General High! At best, you’ll have to go to a vocational school, do you know?!”

Pang Qian stubbornly tilted her head and didn’t make a sound. Jin Ai’hua couldn’t listen on any further, and pulled Pang Qian to her. “Why are you yelling at her? Qian Qian’s growing up. She’s already this big. Why should she be stuck with Gu Mingxi all day long? Maybe her scores are bad because she’s always had to sit in the corner with him. The teacher would always be worried about Gu Mingxi, so when would they have time to care about Qian Qian.”

Pang Qian lowered her head and Jin Ai’hua knocked her on the head. She said, “But you’re disappointing too. You’re not stupid, so why are your scores so poor? If you’re still doing this poorly at the end of the semester, I’ll find you a tutor. We’re definitely not going to a vocational school. You have to get into at least General high, and then go to a good university.”

After being lectured, Pang Qian returned to her room. She bit on her pen and zoned out. She also didn’t understand how her scores had dropped so drastically. The first half of this semester, she had worked pretty hard. She completed the recitations and dictations that the teacher a.s.signed for English. She never skipped her math homework. But there was one thing. After that talk with Teacher Cao, she wouldn’t ever go to the teacher’s office to ask for help, not even if you beat her to death. For the questions she didn’t understand, she could only just memorize them.

She couldn’t help but to think about Gu Mingxi. In the past, Gu Mingxi would explain it to her, calmly, detailed, until she understood it. He never complained that it was troublesome. Even when Pang Qian pestered him or made jokes, he would never get angry with her.

Now that Pang Qian wasn’t deskmates with Gu Mingxi, whenever she had trouble with math, she would ask Xie Yi. He would also explain it. But after he explained once and Pang Qian still didn’t understand, Qiu Lina, who sat next to him, put on a ridiculing expression. Pang Qian felt embarra.s.sed, so she just thanked Xie Yi and turned back around. After that, she was always too embarra.s.sed to ask Xie Yi again.

Gu Mingxi scored 1st in the whole grade on this exam again. Xie Yi only came in 4th, but he didn’t mind at all. He still ate when it was time to eat, played when it was time to play. He even called Pang Qian to play ping pong together once.

He asked, “Crab, can you play ping pong?”

Pang Qian could only play a little, so she shook her head, “Not really.”

“Let’s go. When we play, I’ll teach you.” Xie Yi called together a few other students, “Qiu Lina, Hu Tianli, Jiang Lei, let’s go!”

He was a ping pong expert. He had a coach when he was younger. He beat the whole grade and was known as invincible.

The kids switched off. When you lost five times, you would switch out. Pang Qian couldn’t play, so she would always lose five times in a row. Watching at the side, Xie Yi couldn’t stand it any longer. “Crab, let me show you how to serve. Your serving is really too poor.”

He walked over to Pang Qian to demonstrate. He bent over, tossed the ball with his left hand, and whacked with the paddle in his right hand. The ball flew over the net to the other side. Hu Tianli received it, but then it went out of bounds.

Pang Qian thought to herself, “So cool.” And then she looked shyly towards Xie Yi.

“You see? This is a very easy method of serving, but the ball curves, so your opponent won’t be able to return it.” He demonstrated a few more times, and then told Pang Qian to try it. Pang Qian boldly followed as Xie Yi demonstrated. She hit it with her right hand, and she served the ball. But it just flew away.

The girls at the side laughed. Pang Qian knew that she’d embarra.s.sed herself. Xie Yi didn’t say anything, but just went to fetch the ball. He raised his eyebrows toward Qiu Lina, “What are you laughing at? Pang Qian hit the ball on her first time. That’s talent right there, okay?”

He handed the ball over to Pang Qian. He very naturally grabbed onto Pang Qian’s right hand that was holding the paddle. “Toss the ball and then watch carefully what I do.”

Pang Qian’s heart was thumping. She threw the ball up with her left hand, and Xie Pi pulled her right hand to swing the paddle. With a crisp sound, the ball bounced on the other side, and Hu Tianli couldn’t return it, once again. With a huff, he went to pick up the ball.

Xie Yi released her hand and smiled, “Got it? That kind of strength, just like that.”

Pang Qian, “Mm.” She lowered her head and looked at her wrist. There was still a trace of the warmth left by Xie Yi’s hand. It made her face burn up.

After playing, the few kids walked back to the cla.s.sroom covered in sweat. Xie Yi walked quietly next to Pang Qian. He started talking to her in a soft voice, “Crab, what’s with you and Gu Mingxie? Why don’t you talk to him at all this semester?”

Pang Qian felt a pang of surprise. What Xie Yi said was right. She really hadn’t spoken to Gu Mingxi in a long time.

They’d always been together since they were young. But these few months, even though they were neighbors and cla.s.smates, Pang Qian felt that the distance between them had grown a lot.

She didn’t even meet Gu Mingxi when they left for school. She adjusted the time that she left for school, from 7 to 7:30, but regardless, she’d never run into Gu Mingxi. And then ten minutes after she arrived at school, Gu Mingxi would walk into the cla.s.sroom.

Later on, Pang Qian realized that Gu Mingxi purposely waited for her to leave before leaving himself.

Pang Qian didn’t know how she should react to Xie Yi’s words. After a long time, she finally gave a reason, “Because all the stupid boys in cla.s.s kept talking about me and Gu Mingxi. It was really annoying.”

Xie Yi was caught by surprise and asked, “Just because of that?”

Pang Qian silently nodded.

Xie Yi thought that was incredulous. “I heard Jian Zhe say that you’d been good friends with Gu Mingxi since you were younger. But just because of that, you’re ignoring him?”

Pang Qian, “…”

“That’s not really good. Can you bear it?” Xie Yi was. .h.i.tting the ball with his paddle as he walked. He was really amazing. The small, white ball started bouncing on the paddle. He raised his head and casually looked at something. A bit lazily, he turned to Pang Qian and said, “Crab, did you know, Gu Mingxi was just watching us play.”

Pang Qian felt like she’d been hit by something heavy. Her eyes suddenly raised to look at the third floor windows. The boy at the window couldn’t turn away quickly enough, so he just didn’t try to hide, his eyes calmly watching Pang Qian.

Deep inside, she couldn’t bear it. In fact, she regretted it.

Pang Qian didn’t know how she and Gu Mingxi ended up like this. But she really hadn’t found the opportunity, nor did she know how, to mend their friends.h.i.+p. At school, she felt embarra.s.sed searching out Gu Mingxi to talk. On the way to school and back home, he would avoid her. Most importantly, the current Pang Qian appeared very happy. Leaving out her grades and ranking, she’d made several new friends. On the weekends, her cla.s.smates would invite her out with them.

That kind of happiness wasn’t something that Gu Mingxi could give her. Sometimes Pang Qian thought that maybe her relations.h.i.+p with Gu Mingxi could only be maintained if they were deskmates. So when they sat at opposite corners of the room, they would also slowly fall out of each others’ worlds.

The only time that Pang Qian and Gu Mingxi had spoken was on a Sunday afternoon in the first week of May.

That day, Pang Qian was biting her lollipop as she opened the door. And right across from her, the door to Apt. 502 also opened. The boy behind the door was distracted for a moment. Originally, he was going to walk out, but he just stood there.

Pang Qian looked at him, then opened her mouth to greet him, “Hi, Gu Mingxi.”

“Ah,” he responded, still not going out.

He was carrying a drawing pad and a canvas bag on his back. Pang Qian walked down together with him and asked, “Where are you going?”

“To learn to draw,” he said simply. When they walked down to the second floor, he couldn’t stop himself from turning back to ask her, “What about you?”

Pang Qian blinked and then said, “I’m going to Xinhua Bookstore with w.a.n.g Tingting.”

“Oh, to buy the exam book that the math teacher talked about?”

“Mm.”

“Can you get me a copy?” Gu Mingxi asked. “I don’t have the time to go.”

“Okay.”

“The money… Should I give it to you now?” He stopped on the stairs and said, “It’s in my bag. You can take it out.”

“You can just give it to me next time.”

“Okay.”

The two of them walked towards the bike shed together. Gu Mingxi pursed his lips and then said, “They’re rearranging cla.s.ses again after the final exam. Last time, they changed four people. I don’t know how many they’ll change this time.”

Pang Qian, “…”

“Pang… Qian.” He looked at her, and said seriously, “You should work harder a bit, don’t just play. You should try to stay in the top 25 students. We’ll be learning physics and chemistry later, which will be harder. Looking at your results now, you can’t really say where you’ll end up when it’s time for the high school entrance exams.”

Pang Qian was suddenly a bit angry, her eyebrows jumping up. She said loudly, “How do you know I’m not working hard?! How can you say I’m only playing?! I also want to be in the top 25, but it doesn’t just happen just because I want it! Gu Mingxi, you’re so annoying! I know that you’re ranked 1st! But please, just leave me alone!”

Then Pang Qian tossed her small bag into her bicycle basket and rode off. She felt that Gu Mingxi was getting less and less cute, always trying to lecture people. What’s so great about being 1st? Xie Yi also did really well, okay? But he never talked about things like exams, graduating, and ranks with others. How did Gu Mingxi become so annoying?! It was just the first year (of three) of middle school. Why did she always have to worry about the things that would happen in the next two years! It was really so boring!

After that, Pang Qian and Gu Mingxi’s relations.h.i.+p hit the freezing point. She helped him buy the exam book, but she didn’t personally give it to him. She asked Li Han to give it to him.

In the middle of May, the metals company started building the new factory west of the city. Gu Guoxiang went on a business trip to Beijing to inspect their a.s.sociate company. He’d be gone for a week.

Only Li Han and Gu Mingxi were left at home. The days pa.s.sed calmly, but things abruptly changed.

That evening, after dinner, Pang Qian was doing homework in her room. Jin Ai’hua was was.h.i.+ng the dishes, and Pang Shuisheng was watching the news. At that moment, there suddenly came a loud shout at the door, following by a booming knocking sound. In a frightened voice, Gu Mingxi called out, “Uncle, Auntie! Uncle, Auntie, open the door! Help! Uncle, open the door! Help! Please, help my mom–”

Jin Ai’hua quickly opened the door. Pang Shuisheng and Pang Qian ran out from their rooms. When the door opened, Gu Mingxi’s appearance gave everyone a fight. His feet were bare, his face pale, looking very panicked. His white s.h.i.+rt and gray pants were covered in blood.

Pang Shuisheng immediately ran over to Gu Mingxi’s house. He found an unconscious Li Han in the bathroom. She was bleeding a lot, her pants completely soaked with blood. Pang Shuisheng calmed himself down and told Jin Ai’hua to call 120 (ambulance). Then he had Pang Qian get a large towel to wrap around Li Han to keep her warm.

Gu Mingxi stood outside the bathroom the whole time, watching everything anxiously. Pang Qian walked over to him and reached out to tug on his s.h.i.+rt sleeve. He trembled and then turned to her, looking completely lost.

The ambulance arrived very timely. Pang Shuisheng rode with Li Han to the ambulance. After tidying up a little, Jin Ai’hua took the two kids over in a taxi.

After Li Han entered the operating room, Pang Shuisheng floundered to call Gu Guoxiang in Beijing. Gu Guoxiang was very anxious and bought a plane ticket for 10 o’clock that evening, saying he could be back soon.

When Gu Guoxiang arrived at the hospital, it was 3 in the morning. Jin Ai’hua was watching over Li Han after her surgery. Pang Shuisheng was taking care of Gu Mingxi, and so Pang Qian also spent the night at the hospital.

Seeing the fatigued Gu Guoxiang hurrying over, Pang Shuisheng immediately went to meet him. Gu Guoxiang asked, “What happened? What’s wrong with Ah Han?”

Pang Shuisheng pat his shoulder and said, “Guoxiang, calm down. Ah Han’s life isn’t in danger. She just…had a miscarriage.”

Gu Guoxiang was extremely shocked, “Ah Han was pregnant?!”

“You didn’t know?” Pang Shuisheng said a bit awkwardly, “Maybe she didn’t know either, or maybe she hadn’t gotten to telling you yet.”

Pang Shuisheng walked with Gu Guoxiang over to Gu Mingxi. He was sitting upright in his chair. The blood on his clothes was already completely dry, now a frightening dark red color. He looked up to see his father and immediately stood up.

“Dad.”

His voice was dry and very hoa.r.s.e. Pang Qian was sleepy and had fallen asleep in her chair, but she opened her eyes after hearing him. He saw Gu Guoxiang standing in front of Gu Mingxi coldly asking, “Mingxi, what happened?”

“I don’t know either.” Gu Mingxi lightly shook his head. Then he started retelling the events of the night, “After school, I had dinner with Mom. Then we went to the market to buy some things. I don’t have any more paint, and we need it for cla.s.s tomorrow. So Mom said we’d go out. After we got home, Mom said her stomach wasn’t feeling well, so she went to the bathroom. She went in and then fell. I ran over to see… She was bleeding a lot, said her stomach hurt… I… I couldn’t help her up, so I went to find Uncle Pang.”

Gu Guoxiang pondered for a moment and then asked, “You went out with your mom to buy paint. Did you buy anything else?”

“Notebooks, ballpoint pens, toilet paper, shampoo, and…” Gu Mingxi tried hard to recall. “And rice. Mom bought a bag of rice. She said we were almost out.”

Pang Shuisheng’s face became imposing. Gu Guoxiang’s voice already started trembling and he asked, “Rice, how much did it weigh?”

“Probably… 10 jin (2 jin per kg).” Gu Mingxi watched his father’s gaze, “Dad…”

“That’s enough, don’t say anymore.” Gu Guoxiang waved his hand feebly. “Your mother carried a 10 jin bag of rice, and other things, from the market all the way home?”

Gu Mingxi nodded.

Gu Guoxiang smiled miserably, his body started shaking. Pang Shuisheng hurried over to help him. He rubbed his eyebrows, and said, “Shuisheng, just look! I’ve really got such a great son.”

Pang Qian didn’t really understand what the questions Gu Guoxiang asked had to do with Li Han getting sick. But she knew that the last words Gu Guoxiang said were criticizing Gu Mingxi.

Of course, Gu Mingxi also knew that. But he was also as confused as Pang Qian. He just stood there, head lowered, not sure what to do. He didn’t look like he was in a good state at all. His clothes were a mess, spotted with blood. The empty sleeves of his t-s.h.i.+rt hung there as his body trembled.

—

Two days later, Gu Mingxi got up from bed. He was biting on a “help yourself” (back scratcher), using the small claws on the stick to pull on the elastic waistband as he put on his own pants. Then he picked up a t-s.h.i.+rt with his teeth, sat down on his bed, pulled open the hem area with his feet, and twisted his body into the s.h.i.+rt.

It was summer, and he was already very adept at putting on these kinds of clothes. As long as he has that “help yourself,” he doesn’t need anyone to help him.

Gu Guoxiang had left for work. After Gu Mingxi changed his clothes, he went to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. He did all of this with his feet. Though it was a bit slow, he could do it all on his own. After was.h.i.+ng, he went to the refrigerator and pulled out a bag of bread with his teeth. He dropped it onto the table and then lowered his head to eat. Lastly, he went to his parents’ room and turned to Li Han on the bed, “Mom, I’m going to school. Are you alright?”

Li Han opened her eyes and smiled at Gu Mingxi. She reached out to pat his hair, and then she said weakly, “I’m fine. Grandma will come over in a bit. Just take care of yourself.”

“Mm,” Gu Mingxi nodded. “Then I’m going.”

“Go. Be careful on the way, and don’t ride your bike.”

He thought for a moment and then nodded. “I know. Bye Mom.”

Gu Mingxi carried his backpack and walked downstairs. He walked outside and looked toward the bike shed, towards his own bicycle. After thinking for a moment, he walked in the direction of the front gate.

Walking all the way to school took 45 minutes.  Gu Mingxi took large strides on the street. He was completely focused on walking, and didn’t take note of any of the curious stares that he attracted.

It was the start of summer and the temperature was a little hot. He was also walking quickly, so a thin layer of sweat appeared on his forehead. It wasn’t the first time Gu Mingxi was walking this path, but this time, the more he walked, the stranger he felt. He started to feel a bit spooked. Then he stopped in his tracks and suddenly turned around.

In the midst of people walking to and fro, there was a girl wearing a fuchsia dress with her hair tied in a ponytail, standing 5 or 6 meters behind him. Seeing him turn around, she stopped walking. Carrying a backpack on her back, she looked at him.

Gu Mingxi looked at her calmly. Pang Qian looked at him with her head slightly tilted, even sticking out her tongue and making a face.

The morning rays were s.h.i.+ning on Gu Mingxi’s body. Facing the sun, he squinted, and then suddenly smiled.

That smile she hadn’t seen in so long was still so familiar, warmly hitting Pang Qian’s heart. She looked at him foolishly, and then she also smiled.

Those two kids stood facing each other on the street, both smiling at the other. Pang Qian walked over to Gu Mingxi, lifted her head to look at him, wrinkled her nose and then said, “Don’t smile. Your canines are expose and you look like a little kid.”

Gu Mingxi immediately closed his mouth. He kicked at a pebble on the street and asked, “What are you doing?”

“Doing?” Pang Qian played dumb. “I’m going to school.”

“Why aren’t you riding your bike?”

“I’m happy.” Pang Qian lifted her chin asking, “Why didn’t you ride your bike?”

“…” He put away his smile and remained silent for a moment. Then he said, “A few days ago, I rode my bike home and someone hit me.”

“Ah? Did you get hurt? Why didn’t I know?!” Pang Qian reached out to pull at his clothes. “Are you okay?”

Gu Mingxi twisted and pulled himself away. In a low voice, he said, “When I fell, I sc.r.a.ped my leg. There’s some bruising, but everything else is fine.”

“Why were you so careless?! What a dummy!” Pang Qian complained, immediately crouching and grabbing at Gu Mingxi’s trousers.

“I said that someone else hit me, I didn’t hit them!” Gu Mingxi couldn’t pull away, and she’d already gotten hold of his pants. She saw the scar on his calf, and it was pretty big.

“Did you go to the doctor’s? Did that person compensate you?” Pang Qian asked anxiously. She reached out and touched the bruise with her finger. Gu Mingxi pulled his leg away in pain, “It hurts! Don’t press on it!”

He kicked Pang Qian slightly with the tip of his toes. “Get up, stop looking.”

Pang Qian pouted, but got up. Then she asked, “Did you catch the person who hit you?

“How can I?” Gu Mingxi shrugged his shoulders, his s.h.i.+rt sleeves swaying. “After that person hit me, they just ran away. They even broke my bike.”

Pang Qian pouted even more. “Why didn’t you say anything.”

“To who?” Gu Mingxi smiled. “It’s not a big deal. It’ll be fine in a few days.”

“So you’ve been walking to school these few days?”

“Mm.”

“It’s a long walk!”

“It’s okay. I can work on memorizing for English cla.s.s as I walk.”

“You’re really hopeless!”

Gu Mingxi and Pang Qian walked together. After awhile, Pang Qian said, “Gu Mingxi, let’s just go to school and back home together in the future.”