Whatâs done cannot be undone. Pang Qian finally understood what that phrase meant. She thought she just had to eat until she was full and that was all. As if being tortured by the teacher in school all day wasnât enough, she also had to go over to Gu Mingxiâs house in the evenings and suffer. After five nights of doing homework at Gu Mingxiâs, Pang Qian suggested she stop going, but Gu Mingxi wouldnât allow it.
âNo,â he said solemnly. âI didnât realize that your foundation was so bad. Pang Pang, how much time do you usually spend on homework each day?â
Pang Qian couldnât answer. Her evenings usually went like this: Watch an episode of a cartoon after school. Then eat dinner. After she ate, she would flip through a magazineâ The metals company would give their employees some money each year to order some newspapers or magazines. In the Pang household, Pang Shuisheng ordered the E City Evening Press, and then also ordered two monthly comics for Pang Qian.
It was usually past 7 oâclock when she finished going through the magazines. Her TV shows started then. Pang Qian always dallied and lied in her parentsâ room to watch TV dramas. It wasnât until Pang Shuisheng finally asked her, âDid you finish your homework?â that she would gloomily return to her room.
Sheâd spend an hour randomly doing her homework, and then sheâd wash up and get ready for bed.
Even before sleeping, she wasnât entirely honest. She would tell her mom that she wanted to listen to her English ca.s.settes, but her ca.s.sette player was already broken. She could only listen to the radio with it. Pang Qian would hide under her covers, ears plugged, listening to various music programs. Occasionally, she would listen to âWarm Harborâ at 10 oâclock.
A lot of people called in to the host, sharing all about the troublesome things in their life. Sometimes they would ask health questions. Pang Qianâs unprecedented curiosity would burst forth at that point. She would listen attentively to the callersâ questions, even though there were a lot of questions she didnât understand.
There was one question that sheâd heard asked many times before, but she could never figure out quite what it meant. So she took advantage of her time going to school with Gu Mingxi to humbly ask him.
âGu Mingxi, do you know what a wet dream is?â
Gu Mingxi was steering with his shoulders on the metal contraption. After hearing Pang Qianâs question, his bike swerved, and he immediately braked with his right foot, stopping the bicycle in its tracks.
Pang Qian was also startled. After she stopped her bike, she noticed Gu Mingxiâs complexion was a bit strange. His cheeks were completely flushed. She asked, âWhatâs wrong?â
âNothing.â Gu Mingxi started peddling his bike. Pang Qian chased after him, asking, âYou didnât answer my question. Whatâs a wet dream?â
Gu Mingxiâs response was slightly m.u.f.fled, âDonât know.â
ââŚâ Pang Qian felt that he was just putting on airs. She pouted, not too happy. Then she asked, âThen⌠Then do you know what premature e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.i.o.n is? Or nocturnal penile tumescence (colloq. morning wood)?â
Gu Mingxi was getting stressed about it, and shouted at Pang Qian, âI donât know! Youâre being so ridiculous! If you have the time to ask these kinds of questions, why donât you do a few more math problems?!â
Pang Qian replied unhappily, âI was just asking. If you donât know, then you donât know. Whatâs there to shout about? Youâre the one being ridiculous! Hmph!â
After she finished speaking, she started accelerated her peddling and charged ahead.
âPang Qianââ Gu Mingxi called from behind, unable to chase after her. It already wasnât an easy feat for him to ride a bike. He wasnât going to impulsively play around with his life on the line.
Following his own pace, Gu Mingxi peddled slowly to school. After he arrived, he realized Pang Qian was waiting for him at the gate. He got off his bike, bent over against the metal stand on his bike and pushed it forward with his shoulders. Pang Qian watched him, pouting. When Gu Mingxi walked over to her, he lightly kicked her on the leg with his heel, âLetâs go, weâll be late.â
Pang Qian didnât move, and was unable to stop herself from laughing.
After the two of them parked their bikes, they walked up the building. She kept on asking, âGu Mingxi, are you sure you donât know what a wet dream is? I heard Teacher Jia say that boys will usually start having them when theyâre 11 or 12. I just donât know what it means.â
Teacher Jia was the male host of âWarm Harbor.â Nearly at the point of collapse, Gu Mingxi thought for a moment. He spoke very quietly into Pang Qianâs ear, âItâs a physiological issue for males. You donât need to understand it. Pang Pang, youâre a girl. In the future, donât go asking these questions to other boys. It will make people think youâreâŚvery low cla.s.s.â
âYouâre the low cla.s.s one!â Pang Qian jumped. âI really donât understand! On the radio, people always ask, âTeacher Jia, I have wet dreams every night.â Or else, itâs âEvery day, I have morning wood.â I donât understand and itâs so annoying!â
She was in an uproar. Gu Mingxi looked around nervously. Then he glared at her, âBe quiet. Donât you know how to be embarra.s.sed!â
The innocent knows no fear. Pang Qian didnât know what he was afraid of. She said righteously, âWhatâs there to be embarra.s.sed about?! Itâs not like Iâve never seen a birdie (slang for p.e.n.i.s) before. Gu Mingxi, donât forget, when we were younger, we bathed together every day. Iâve even played with your birdie before!â
Gu Mingxi:Â âoâ
Their noisy, lively days continued. Their evening study sessions also continued. And one day, during a unit test in math cla.s.s, Pang Qian looked at her sheet of questions and suddenly realized that they werenât that hard.
This time, she scored 87 points, her position jumping up to the middle ranks. She was elated. At lunch, she generously treated Gu Mingxi to a can of Jianlibao (soft drink).
As a result, she no longer refused to go to Gu Mingxiâs house to study. After all, under his supervision, her homework (scores?) had gradually increased. Everyone started learning English in junior high, everyone had the same starting line. As Pang Qian was about to fall behind, Gu Mingxi pulled her back up. Every day, he would make her recite things and practice dictation. He even told her about the grammar rules. After awhile, Pang Qian didnât feel like her teacher was speaking in some other-worldly language during English cla.s.s anymore. And occasionally, when she was called on to answer a question, she could actually do it just the same.
There was also another important reason. Pang Qian loved to go to Gu Mingxiâs house, and thatâs becauseâ Li Han would always prepare a place of fruit and snacks and a warm drink. To Pang Qian, that was the worldâs most difficult thing to resist!
The weather started to gradually cool. Winter would soon be arriving.
After eating dinner that evening, Pang Qian was worried that her hair wouldnât dry if she washed it too late. So she washed her hair and bathed first, before bringing her homework over to Gu Mingxiâs house.
When she went in his room, she felt that it was abnormally warm. Then she realized that Li Han had pushed a s.p.a.ce heater into Gu Mingxiâs room, to give them some warmth.
âWow, itâs so warm and comfortable.â Pang Qian sat down in the chair with a heartfelt sigh.
When Gu Mingxi turned around, this was the scene he was met with.
A girl who had just washed, long hair that was still wet and loose. It hadnât been combed, so it was a bit messy. Her face was flushed from the heat, eyes s.h.i.+ning brightly. She was smiling as she picked up a piece of mung bean cake and flipped open her notebook.
Gu Mingxi has always liked watching Pang Qian eat because she always had a face full of enjoyment, an almost intoxicated look. It would always give Gu Mingxi a feeling of happiness.
With a ladylike gesture, using only her thumb, forefinger and middle finger, Pang Qian picked up a piece of mung bean cake and brought it to her mouth before taking a bite. She closed her eyes and let out an âoohâ sound, shaking her head slightly from delight. When she took a second bite, some crumbs fell down. She moved her other hand to quickly catch it. The crumbs kept falling, so she quickly finished off the piece of cake in her hand. Then she tilted her head back and brushed the remaining crumbs from her hand into her mouth.
Gu Mingxi saw that her hand. And maybe because she had just washed up, but her entire person seemed especially pale. Those small hands, thin fingers, her nails short and round and a healthy pink color.
It looked really nice.
Pang Qian had finished eating cake and was about to start her homework, when she lifted her head and saw Gu Mingxi. Seeing his stiff expression, she said, âHey, what are you daydreaming about?â
Gu Mingxi came back to his senses, his face turning completely red in an instant. Pang Qian blinked at him and asked, âAre you very hot?â
Gu Mingxi shook his head, then turned his body back to his desk. His legs were raised up on his desk, a ballpoint sandwiched between his toes. His back faced Pang Qian.
Pang Qian used her hand to fan herself and said, âActually, a s.p.a.ce heater makes it really hot. It I had known earlier, I wouldnât have worn a jacket over.â
She slipped off her jacket very naturally. Inside, she had on her pajamas. It was boatnecked with a pink pig pattern. After she took off her jacket, she felt much more comfortably.
During this homework session, Gu Mingxi felt a bit absent. He wanted to finish quickly, but Pang Qian wanted to continue.
While he was explaining the math problems, her attention suddenly diverted from the board to his feet. She said, âGu Mingxi, your toenails have gotten long.â
Gu Mingxi, ââŚâ
Pang Qian, âWhere are your nail clippers? Iâll help you trim them.â
Gu Mingxi replied stiffly, âNo need, I can cut them myself.â
Pang Qian disapproved, âWhen you cut it yourself, itâs really slow. Aiya, Iâll help you cut them.â
She was pretty familiar with his room, so she stood up and walked over to the bookshelf, and took out his nail clippers from a small box. Sitting down next to Gu Mingxi, Pang Qian pulled his legs over. She bent over and started clipping his toe nails.
âKacha, kachaâ sounds floated in the air. Gu Mingxi felt his mind was a bit dizzy. He forced himself to look at his feet, but couldnât stop himself from looking at Pang Qianâs hands. Her soft, white hands were lightly holding onto his feet then, helping him clip his toe nails.
It wasnât the first time sheâd helped him. Ever since Pang Qian learned how to clip toenails, sheâd always look at Gu Mingxiâs feet. Whenever his toenails were just a little long, she would wave her nail clippers, proclaiming that she would help him cut them, as if it were some kind of interesting game.
This game had progressed three levels.
The first stage was that she wanted to help him, but he wasnât willing.
The second stage was when he wanted her to help him, but she wasnât willing.
They were in the third stage now. He wasnât willing, and she wasnât willing. So, actually, Pang Qian hadnât helped Gu Mingxi cut his nails in a long time.
Gu Mingxiâs line of sight moved from Pang Qianâs hands to her body. He suddenly thought that, with Pang Qian bent over, her head lowered, and the collar of her pajamas hanging slightly, against the darkness of her hair that was draped over her shoulders, her skin looked even more snow-white. There was a boom that went off in Gu Mingxiâs head. Although he hadnât really seen the the scene inside her clothes, but just imagining it was enough to make his whole body go stiff.
Afterwards, Pang Qian was shooed home by Gu Mingxi. She didnât understand, and kept feeling that Gu Mingxi was very weird that entire day.
Gu Mingxi went to bed very early that evening. But he kept rolling back and forth, unable to sleep, and just laid there. It was the middle of the night when he finally drifted off to sleep, and he had a dream.
In his dream, he was still very little. He was standing inside of a large wooden bathtub and was.h.i.+ng.
Was.h.i.+ng and was.h.i.+ng and was.h.i.+ng. Then, in front of his eyes, a little chubby girl appeared. The girl sat down in the bathtub, naked. She tilted her head and looked up at him curiously.
Gu Mingxi suddenly felt a bit embarra.s.sed. He wanted to reach out his hand to cover up his little birdie, but after moving around his shoulders, he realized he didnât have any arms. Gu Mingxi felt very vexed. His little birdie wasnât very far from the girlâs face, her eyes doubtful, as she stared at this little swinging thing. And then she reached out her hand and grabbed itâ
Gu Mingxi suddenly woke up, and he realized he was still lying in bed. Only⌠He realized his underpants were wet.
He didnât dare to move, confusion filling his mind. He realized that something had changed there, and it was hard, resting against the bed. Gu Mingxi felt extremely ashamed, because he realized that lying there in that posture was actually very comfortable.
He gingerly moved his body. The small friction brought a wonderful feeling, which made him even more scared. He laid there with his eyes open, his body in his covers, his heart booming like thunder. After an unknown amount of time, the throbbing in his heart finally vanished. His body was covered in sweat. He twisted his body and threw his covers off, slowly sitting up.
Using his foot, he turned on the light at the head of his bed. He bent over to inspect his underwear. There was a thick liquid there, and it had soaked through the crotch on his underpants.
Gu Mingxi pursed his lips and sat in a daze for awhile. Then he let out a huff, âDonât ask for help,â before changing his underwear.
His s.h.i.+rt had also been soaked with sweat, so he changed his clothes as well. He took off his wet clothes and headed to his dresser to get some dry ones, when he suddenly saw himself in his dresser mirror.
His upper body was bare, and he was only wearing a pair of underpants. His skin was pale, his body thin and lean, with a pair of slender and well proportioned legs. At this time, Gu Mingxi was only 13 years old and 4 months, just the time when childrenâs bodies grew. Li Han had said before that all his pants would become too short after wearing them for just two months. And as they bought shoes, they had to buy him bigger ones as well.
Gu Mingxi knew that he was growing up. His body was going through a number of changes. There were many things that couldnât be avoided. For example, what had just happened when he was sleeping.
However, compared to other boys, it was undeniable that Gu Mingxi would have more confusion, hesitation, and fear.
It was the deep of night, silence in the air. The young boy stood in front of his dresser mirror, and seeing his deformed body, he let out a sigh. He put on clean clothes, turned off the light, and went back to bed.