CH 51.1

…Who else would dare knock so rudely on the duchess’s room in the Valentino residence? Even without asking, I knew who the uninvited guest was outside the door.

I raised my head and spoke in a faint voice.

“…Come in.”

The door burst open almost immediately. He seemed to be able to pick up on even a hushed permission… Or maybe it was because he never intended to wait for it at all.

I got up and stood straight. Theodore, striding in from the doorway, stopped in front of me and looked down at me with cold eyes.

Eyes without warmth.

In an icy voice, he said.

“I heard strange stories from the knights and my aides.”

“…….”

“That I lost my memories.”

Certainly, by now he would have heard about it from others.

But I didn’t expect him to come to me so soon.

I thought he was going to take care of the backlog of work first.

Theodore Valentino, who puts his estate’s matter first, would do that.

However, if it’s the version of him who lost his memory…

Did he abandon the matters of his estate and came to me first?

“…….”

Why am I thinking like this. It’s all meaningless…

“Indeed, there are gaps in my memory.”

Theodore mumbled, pacing in front of me. With a frown on top of a very displeased face.

Yes, it’s only natural that it’s unpleasant for him.

I’m sure he would have heard all the wonderful stories about how close he had gotten to Lily Everett, who he hated.

…Thinking back, it was really absurd. I’m sure others would think the same too—for him to hear that Theodore Valentino had become affectionate with the daughter of his family’s nemesis. It was something that would make the ancestors of the Valentino family rise from their graves.

“I hurt my head on the last expedition… I remember until that point.”

But he stared intently into the air as there was something he couldn’t understand.

…Maybe, by any chance, he couldn’t remember in detail how he hurt his head?

Again, doubts arose about Owen and his mage.… But Theodore’s memory was almost back, and if there was something suspicious he would surely remember it soon. So I wouldn’t have to step up myself.

Either way, he wouldn’t like me to get involved in his matters.

…Obviously, he would only doubt me and be suspicious of me, thinking that my actions would hinge on what’s good for House Everett. That would be the version of Theodore Valentino that I’m seeing today.

“…I will ask you one thing.”

Theodore stopped in front of me again and started to speak.

I raised my head, which had been slightly lowered, and responded while facing him.

“Ask.”

“You.”

The cold eyes stared straight at me.

“Did you play tricks on me when I lost my memory?”

“…….”

My head went blank at that moment and I couldn’t think of anything.

Me, playing tricks on you…? Are you serious now?

…What a stupid question.

Of course, to be honest… because of those short days, I had forgotten about it. First and foremost, Theodore thought of me as Everett’s loyal minion.

This was what was ‘normal’ between us.

“…That we were a good married couple—did you deceive me like that?”

Theodore’s question came again. As I looked at his eyes, where I couldn’t find an ounce of goodwill, a smile leaked from my lips. It was an act of mockery against myself.

Stupid Lily Everett. Really, what did you expect?

With a deep sense of shame, resentment filled my heart. I didn’t want to hide it any longer. I just wanted to reveal how dark my heart was. Because I really, really, really just wanted to end it.

Gone were the days when I secretly hoped for a piece of his attention, that he would someday understand me and be sympathetic to my suffering.

Any semblance of me who thought of such a thing in the past—I’m going to completely kill that part of me.

If I have to suffer because I love someone, then I will end that love.

It’s apparent that I was destined to never be happy until I’d die.

“…Why are you smiling?”

Theodore asked, frowning. With nothing more to hide, I answered without hesitation.

“It’s funny.”

“What do you mean funny?”

He seemed a little angry. But strangely, I wasn’t afraid anymore. In the past, his vitriolic language, irritation, and anger would always shake my heart.

My heart no longer fluttered or pounded with anxiety. Rather, it heightened my mood.

Maybe I did go crazy.

Still with a smile, I answered.