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Chapter 54.1




Chapter 54 – We Just Have To Start Over Again
“…”
“Whom are you going to use it for?”
His voice contained both resentment and disappointment toward Ashia. Haa, Kaligo sighed deeply and squeezed his temples with his fingertips.
“Who the hell did I kiss and whom did I confess to?”
“…Kaligo.”
“Was that woman someone other than you?”
Ashia bit her lower lip again.
“I’ve never imagined another woman next to me… but why are you always thinking of another woman beside me?”
“…”
He spoke coldly with a hardened face again. “Do you want that?”
“…”
“Tell me. didn’t you ask me… if I want to have another woman by my side?”
’Another woman… another woman by Kaligo’s side.’
Ashia hesitated. The first reason was that he was her ex-husband, and the second one was that he was the original’s male lead. The third was that she was afraid of his change after confronting the female lead, and the fourth…
‘The fourth is…’
She was afraid of getting hurt by her own selfish choices. Her heart wanted to ignore the original, as well as the worries that he would get hurt as he constantly swayed her. But if she had to choose between the two of them, she would…
Ashia slowly shook her head. “No.”
“…”
“I don’t want another woman… by your side.” Ashia couldn’t bear to look at him and continued speaking with her head down. “…Sorry. It was just… it came out of habit.”
“…”
“I am a person who may put the people around me in danger. That’s why I am pushing people away rather than keeping them close to me.” She fiddled with her fingers with a self-deprecating smile. “I don’t dare think that my position can be beside the person I want. It’s just… a luxury. I think that was how I defined myself. That I just had to live my whole life quietly atoning. That I shouldn’t have false hopes and create accidents…”
Everything was an absurd position for her. It was also the same for the duchess’ position, the seat beside the male lead. She pushed him away because she felt it wasn’t her place.
Quietly listening to her words, Kaligo moved. He sauntered to the sofa where she was sitting and called her name.
“Yes…” Ashia still couldn’t raise her head.
Kaligo sat down next to her. “Look at me.”
“…”
He gently wrapped his arms around her shoulders and turned her body. Following her body, Ashia turned her head to face him belatedly.
There was a faint smile on his mouth. She was momentarily nervous with worries—perhaps he was angry at her for repeatedly pushing him away, or because he had lost all of his pride. But Kaligo was looking at Ashia with a smile of absolute satisfaction.
“You’re active in other people’s affairs but defensive in your own.”
“…”
“Ashia, you were the one who told me that this place was inside a book.”
“That’s…”
“But once in a while, you act like a character in the original story that you don’t know about. Even though it can be avoided and confronted.”
“…”
That was true. Because she didn’t want the original to change, she tried to follow the flow of the original more accurately.
“Ashia…”
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“Yes.”
“This time, live as the protagonist.”
Asha’s eyes slowly grew in size.
Kaligo’s smile deepened even more as he looked at her. “In your life, and in my life….”
“…”
As he got closer, she felt composure wash over her. A rough touch swept her hair behind her ear and grabbed her cheek. His temperature and scent, his eyes and voice – every part of him permeated not only her skin but deeper into her heart.
Ashia was getting her peace of mind from him.
“I will make it happen.”
“Kaligo….”
His voice and eyes captured Ashia’s shaking heart every time. Nervousness and anxiety melted away with a few words from him.
Looking back, this was also the case during the old days with Kaligo Edmund. It was shameful how he pushed her away and turned his back, but his presence was more reliable than anything else in this moment of necessity.
Ashia looked him straight in the eye. “I… I thought I was a very confident and positive person.”
“…”
“No… it’s still the same today.”
Ten years after entering the book, she woke up at the worst moment and survived until now. The present Ashia now was very different from Renna in a good way, but she was still very stubborn.
“But I am only like this towards you. I feel like I am Renna again in front of you… I assume and misunderstand, then I feel timid and heartbroken by myself.”
“Ashia.”
“You’ve changed a lot… but I am still standing in that place alone. I am still…”
“That, too.” Kaligo held her hand and gently hugged her. “It’s my fault.”
“…”
Ashia quietly listened to his words inside Kaligo’s arms.
“If our beginning wasn’t like that… if I had been more thoughtful, you wouldn’t have been hurt.”
“…”
“We wouldn’t have met such a futile end.” Kaligo pulled himself away from Ashia and looked at her face. There was an impish grin on his face again. “We just have to start over again.”
“… ”
“Let’s make happy memories so that we can forget all about the past.”
’Again? Memories happy enough to forget all of the others?’
Ashia slipped out from his arms and looked up at Kaligo’s face.
’With this person…’
Kaligo’s eyes arched as if he could hear her thoughts. “Of course, I know you still don’t want to date or get married.”
Ashia, who had been serious for a while, burst into laughter. “Of course. I plan to live a beautiful single life until your feelings melt away.”
Kaligo gently caressed her smiling face. “Now, this is just like you.”
“…”
He gazed deeply at her jewel-like eyes. Ashia was no different. She looked at him then buried her face in his touch and smiled softly.
There was no eternity in the flowing time. Everything faded and traces of time were engraved. It wouldn’t be much different with Ashia and Kaligo. Just as there was no eternal pain, hatred, or resentment—it might gradually fade, then suddenly disappear one day.
(T/N: Hah, my single self and this fluff here… let me just cry in the corner because they are just cute~)