Ch 21 Confession of love to you (Kanae’s POV).
The happiness of answering Yuki-kun’s call and hearing his voice in my ear was short-lived, and I realized to my dismay the position I was in.
ā€œActually, I was told by Souta himself today. Kanae has someone she loves, so don’t hang around her too muchā€¦ā€
The moment I heard that, my whole body froze.
I’ve never told anyone about my true feelings for Yuki-kun, nor about my misunderstanding of Souta-kun until now. And yet…
Ugh…Who is this ā€œperson I likeā€ that Souta-kun refers to…?
I’ve been in a situation where I’ve been interrupted this morning, and I feel bitter and unreasonably angry towards Souta-kun.
No, but Souta-kun doesn’t know what’s going on, and I think he’s saying it for the best.
Besides, in the first place, all I have to do is tell him that I like him, that I’m sorry for rejecting him, and that I want to go out with him.
In my head, I’m already imagining a future where I’m married to Yuki-kun and have a child, but in reality, I’m disgusted with myself for being so spineless.
And then, as if to push me over the edge.
ā€œI’m really sorry… but it was because I did something unnecessary, like confessing to Kanae, that I ended up in a situation where Souta had to warn meā€¦ā€
There was an unconcealable pain in every word, and Yuki’s voice, as he tried to hide his feelings and make up for it, made my chest tighten up, and at the same time, I wanted to disappear because of the unworthiness of making the person I love say such a thing.
The image of Yuki, covered in scars and clenching her teeth, came to my mind as the blood drained from my head, and I found myself bursting into tears.
No more, no more…
ā€œYuki-kun… I have something to tell youā€¦ā€
No thoughts, no nothing, just desperate words.
ā€œPlease listen to me… Pleaseā€¦ā€
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With a trembling voice and a terribly pathetic plea, I decided to ask him to listen to my feelings.
There’s no time to lose. I want to go to Yuki-kun as soon as possible. Yuki-kun, Yuki-kun, Yuki-kun–!
I ran out of the student council room and headed for Yuki-kun’s place.
On the way, I met Souta-kun by chance and he gave me a great pep talk… Maybe Souta-kun has been pushing me since this morning.
Thank you, Souta-kun…
I call out the name of the person I love, thanking the boy I grew up with for his incomprehensible and clumsy kindness.
ā€œYuki-kun!ā€
I hugged Yuki-kun, who was waiting for me just outside the school gate.
ā€œWhoa! Kanae?ā€
Yuki-kun was surprised and tried to pull his body away, but I would never let him go.
I press my whole body against Yuki’s and wrap my arms around him, hugging him tightly.
After doing this, my face and head, as well as my entire body, are already burning hot, and my heart is racing like it never has before.
ā€œYuki-kun, please… listen to meā€¦ā€
I hugged Yuki-kun, and only turned my face upward to say.
ā€œI love you, Yuki-kun… I love you…!ā€
My voice was shaking and I stammered, which was very uncool…
ā€œEh… But Kanae said that Souta is… and Souta is also… about Kanae.ā€
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Yuki muttered in confusion.
ā€œUgh… I’m sorry… After Yuki confessed his feelings to me, I thought about it a lot… I even talked to my mom about it… And then I realized my true feelingsā€¦ā€
Yuki-kun said, ā€œWhat, to Aunt? –He was curious about that part, but I was too busy telling him how I felt…
ā€œWith Souta-kun I don’t feel anything… I get very jealous when Yuki-kun is talking to other girls… And then I get worried that other girls will take youā€¦ā€
Then Yuki-kun said in a panic.
ā€œNo, no, no, no! Not like this!ā€
I thought to myself, ā€œThat’s not true!ā€
ā€œIn addition, Souta-kun sent me here… to tell Yuki-kun my honest feelings, and Souta-kun assured me that Yuki-kun would definitely respondā€¦ā€
Then, Yuki seemed to be unexpected and was very confused.
ā€œOh, really…? Well, I’m sorry… what can I say…?ā€
I know it doesn’t mean the same thing, but the moment Yuki said ā€œI’m sorryā€ to me, I felt like I was being filled with a dark despair and even felt my consciousness receding.
My body trembled with fear of being rejected, and I desperately clung to Yuki-kun.
ā€œYuki-kun… now that I’ve done this… I’m afraid you won’t like me, butā€¦ā€
My vision was shaky and my voice was completely nasal, such a pathetic confession…
ā€œI love you… please… go out with me, please…!ā€
I can’t lower my head because I’m stuck to him, so I press my forehead against Yuki-kun’s chest plate.
Uh … scary, scary, scary-the reply is scary, and the arm that hugs Yuki-kun gets stronger.
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Yuki-kun did such an amazing thing, so firmly…
In this situation, I fell in love with Yuki-kun again–if he rejects me, I’ll cry… and die…
And from the way he was breathing, I could tell that Yuki-kun was trying to open his mouth.
ā€œOh, wait… no, no, Yuki-kun… don’t reject me… I’m sorry, I’m sorry… please forgive me…. please forgive meā€¦ā€
My tears are already ragged and my nose is soggy… What I’m saying is so pathetic, I think most people would be turned off.
But Yuki-kun–
ā€œNo, no, no, no, no, no! I can’t reject you. I’ve always loved Kanae… Even after I was rejected, I couldn’t give up and wanted to get revenge! –Oh, no, I’m not talking about that now… Anyway! I’m so happy!ā€
Then, Yuki-kun said with a new look.
ā€œI like you too Kanae! Thank you very much!ā€
And then Yuki bowed his head, causing me to shrivel up in his embrace.
I laughed while crying because it made me feel funny.
Then, for the first time in two days, I was alone with Yuki-kun on the way home. But I’m walking home with a completely different ending and mindset than I had two days ago.
Like Azaka-senpai, Rinka-chan, and Chris-chan did with Souta-kun every morning, I take Yuki-kun by the arm and hug him.
I’m stunned at my own naivety for already feeling happy after such a desperate and pathetic confession, but I want to think that it was worth the traumatic embarrassment.
ā€œHey Kanaeā€¦ā€
Then Yuki’s low voice comes out with the most mysterious expression of the day.
The low voice that seems to hold me down makes my hips tremble and my stomach gets warmer, and at the same time, I feel the negative fear of what I’m being told.
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ā€œWhat is it?ā€
With a strange mixture of nervousness and excitement, I asked back with caution.
ā€œHow far did you consult with… aunt…?ā€
Eh, That?
After a pause, I couldn’t help but blurt out.
ā€œHmm, hmm, let’s go ask her directly now.ā€
I also have something to report to my mother, who has been pushing me a lot.
ā€œI got a boyfriend today!ā€
–I said with a smug look on my face!