I have two childhood friends who have been with me since kindergarten.
Souta-kun and Yukiya-kun.
Both are my dear childhood friends who have been close to me for a long time.
Souta-kun has always been known as āan amazing person who is usually inconspicuous but can actually do well in both studies and athletics,ā and as āa cool boy who looks unassuming at first glance but actually has a face like an idol.ā
Especially among the girls, he was often talked about secretly, and in junior high school, there were girls who wanted to be introduced to him, and some of them actually confessed their feelings for him.
I was a childhood friend of Soutaās, so I was often asked for help and advice.
āSouta-kun is really cool when you look at him closely.ā āSouta-kun is really popular.ā āKanae is a childhood friend of Soutaās, right? Please introduce me.ā āIām thinking of telling Souta-kunā¦ What do you think Kanae?ā
I hadnāt noticed it when we were close as childhood friends, but every time I heard about it from others, I became aware of it, and before I knew it, I started to follow Souta-kun with my eyes.
When I casually told my friends about it, they said that Kanae was also after Souta-kun, and I remember that I started to be conscious of Souta-kun.
When I thought that I was in love, I started to get nervous, embarrassed, and happy, and I felt like every day became more fun.
It made me feel happy to be able to talk to Souta-kun and care for him the same as before, and I thought that it was a blessing to be able to do that for me, and that I was lucky to be closer to him than the other kids around me because we were childhood friends.
āIām in love with Souta-kun.ā
That was my self-awareness.
It should have been.
I stared at Yukiās back with a sense of resentment as he walked a few dozen meters ahead of me.
Yuki-kun confessed to meā¦ to meā¦
I canāt help but remember the scene from earlier.
Then my face instantly became hot, and I felt a pain in my chest.
āUhā¦ā
I felt like something was going to burst from inside my body, so I hugged my shoulders and shivered by myself to hold it in.
Iāve been hiding behind Yuki-kun and trembling alone in the shadows ā Iām definitely strange nowā¦
In the first place, considering what had just happened between me and Yuki-kun, I should have given him some time off or taken a different route home, but when I saw him moving away, I naturally followed his back.
I donāt know why I did it, but I did it subconsciously.
Iām in love with Souta-kun, and I thought I answered Yuki-kun properly by saying soā¦
Itās hard to be confident in your feelings and actions when youāre like this.
In the meantime, I had reached the front of my house.
Yuki-kunās house is a little further away, so of course heās still walking.
āWhat should I do?ā¦ā
My feelings were stirred by Yuki-kunās distant back, and I muttered unconsciously.
As if to shake myself out of it, I ran into the house.
āOh, welcome back.ā
When I walked in the door, I ran into my mom.
āUh ā¦oh, Iām home.ā
I was so confused that I let out a strange sound.
āWhatās your reaction? How rudeļ½ā
āUh, thatā¦ Iām sorryā¦ā
An attitude that seems to others as if I were wondering. Itās like saying something happenedā¦
As expected, the mother also squinted at me suspiciously and peered at me.
I donāt want people to see through me, and when I try not to think about it, I canāt help but think about Yuki-kun.
Ka, my face is hotā¦
āHmmm? Hahaha, I got itāŖā
She smiles, grinning.
I felt a small tug at my throat.
āUfufu, I wanted to ignore it, but it sounded interesting, so Iāll point it out. Itās a boy!ā
I shouted and protested to my mother, who was trying to guess my opponent.
I mean, thereās hardly any boys that my mom even knows, especially this time, and sheāll be right in no time!
The mother laughs and flutters her hands, saying, āOkay, okay.ā
I decided to run upstairs to my room so that I wouldnāt be teased any more. I walked past my mom and ran up the stairs as fast as I could.
āBut-ā
I was again greatly shaken by my motherās words thrown at my back.
-Batan.
I went into my room and closed the door.
My face is hot. My eyes are watering, and my heart is pounding.
And what naturally comes to mind is the incident with Yuki-kun on the way home.
Today, Souta-kun, who always goes home with me, was called away by another girl, and Yuki-kun had a day off from his club activities, so it was a rare day when it was just me and Yuki-kun going home from school.
On the way home, Yuki-kun confessed his feelings to meā¦
Yuki-kun, with a bright red face, was at a loss for words, but still did his best to convey the message.
āOh, I want you to go out with meā¦!ā
The moment I heard that, my heart raced and suffered like never before.
āIāve never been that nervous about anyone, not even Souta-kunā¦ā
In addition, at that time, when Yuki-kun bowed his head after confessing, I unconsciously tried to answer him with the following words while gulping.
āAh āYesā-ā¦ā
I was naturally going to accept Yuki-kunās confession.
By chance, my voice faltered in the middle of my response, butā¦ I donāt know why. Iām sure Iām in love with Souta-kun, butā¦
I start to worry that maybe Iām just a light-hearted girl with a flirtatious streak.
āI canāt do this anymore, I have to stop thinking about Yuki-kun!ā
But the more I think about it, the more conscious I become of it. No, even if I donāt think about it, it just pops into my head.
āAh, Itās because of Yuki-kun.ā
I was surprised at how sweet my voice sounded, and my face got hot again.
No matter what I do now, I canāt help but think about Yuki-kun. Because thatās what happened to me, and Iām honestly happy that my precious childhood friend said āI love youā, even if I canāt answer.
At the same time, I remembered what my mom had said to me earlier.
-But you made such a face, itās not like youāre not happy, you mustāve been really happy~.
āFuhā¦ā
I sighed as if to expel the heat from my burning body, and casually turned my attention to the mirror in the room.
There was me, who moistened her eyes with a red face and sloppily lost her temper.