Two days have passed since Yuki-kunās confession.
The relationship between me and Yuki-kun may be the worst ever for me.
This is all my fault because I was insensitive to my own feelingsā¦
I had a lot of trouble with it last night, regretted it, and was depressedā¦ Thanks to this, Iām not sleeping well today, and Iām confident that Iāll fall asleep somewhere in the class after this.
But after a night of thinking, I was able to know my honest feelings. This time, it wasnāt a feeling that I had been influenced by my friends or the atmosphere, it wasnāt a misunderstanding that mistook longing and love, it wasnāt the purpose of falling in love itself, it was my genuine feeling.
I love you, Yuki-kun.
After rejecting Yukiās confession, I think itās an amazing turn of events even for me.
In addition, if I hadnāt rejected Yukiās confession, I would have at least put it on hold, which would have brought up some nasty regrets, and I would have felt terrible about myselfā¦
I donāt know if I can do this anymore. I donāt know if I will like myself like thisā¦
But I want to at least tell him how much I like him. Yuki-kun also tried so hard to tell me.
Thatās why today, just like yesterday, I pushed my sleepless body to come to school at a time when it could still be called early morning.
Itās all for the sake of watching Yuki-kunās morning practice!
āSo, where is Yuki-kun?ā
Today, Iām not looking for Yuki-kun from the classroom, but from the shadows of the school building.
If I look at the schoolyard, squinting my eyes as I stare, Iāll see people from the soccer team running around, kicking a ball. I wonder if theyāre practicing dribbling?
With that in mind, I moved my eyes around and spotted Yuki-kun rather quickly.
Yuki-kun, the manager, I guess? ā seemed to be calling out to him.
I know itās probably some kind of club activity, but the sight of it makes me feel really bad.
I didnāt care at all before, but now that I am aware of my feelings, I get jealous, which I think is amazing even for me.
I clenched my teeth and stared at Yuki-kun as he talked with the manager, growling softly.
Then, the manager suddenly raised her voice.
āā¦! Itāsā¦ responsibility to.. You!ā
The moment it reached my ears, I felt a creeping sensation in my back and the back of my head, and my heart went cold as if it had been frozen. But at the same time, my eyes were blazing hot and I couldnāt stop the heavy sludge from overflowing in my chest.
I had never felt this way before when it came to Souta-kun. This is the first time Iāve felt real jealousy, something Iāve never felt before.
I felt like I was angry and sad, a mess, and I didnāt know what to do.
I donāt know what Yuki-kun and that girl are talking about, and Iām sure it has to do with club activities. But I canāt control my irritation. Iāve been with him for a long time, and Iāve never used the word āresponsibilityā to describe Yuki-kun.
āUgh, whatās with that girlā¦ā
I canāt stop my voice from sounding bitter, but I canāt stop it. My gaze is fixed on the manager who was talking to Yuki-kun, and I notice that my brow wrinkles up.
I had no idea that I had such a personality. As soon as I became aware of my feelings for Yuki-kun, this happened. I was so jealous that even I was taken aback by it, and I couldnāt show it to Yuki-kun.
While I was agonizing over this, the morning practice was over and Yuki-kun was moving to his classroom.
āWhat should I doā¦ā
I canāt stop imagining that Yuki-kun might be taken by that managerās girl.
As if driven by impatience, I decided to go ahead of Yuki-kun.
I entered the entrance, ran up the stairs to the floor where my classroom was located, hurried into my classroom, grabbed a towel from the bag I had left there, and went back to the front of the stairs to wait for Yuki-kun to come up.
While I was waiting, I wiped my own sweat off with the towel I was going to lend Yuki-kunā¦ Itās only a little bit, Yuki-kun wonāt notice, right?
I think Iām a bit of a pervert, after allā¦ Iām also thinking about yesterdayās āYuki-kun used towel on my faceā incident.
But right now, Iām more concerned about Yuki-kun!
I grabbed a towel and stood by. Having gotten a taste of how Yuki-kun used my towel yesterday, I decided to use the same method to get involved with him today.
Besides, handing out towels is kind of manager-like, and it overwrites the girl from earlier.
āOh, Yuki-kunā¦ā
When I called out to Yuki-kun as he came up the stairs, he turned to me with a surprised look on his face.
Uhā¦ what should I do, Iām getting really nervousā¦
āOh, good morning, helloā¦!
Iām so tense!
Yuki-kun returned my greeting awkwardly, and then quickly walked into the classroom.
I smelled Yuki-kunās scent as we passed each other, and I couldnāt help but let out a weird āAhā¦ā sound, but Iām sure he didnāt hear me.
āI have to go after Yuki-kunā¦!ā
There was no time to think. I quickly followed Yuki to the classroom. I have to get him to use the towel!
After that, I managed to get Yuki to wash his face with my clever guidance, but he still seemed to be avoiding meā¦ Itās very sad, even though itās my own fault.
No, I canāt be weak, can I? I turned him down, but he confessed his feelings to me, so now I have to appeal to him!
I put my energy into it, and when Yuki-kun finished washing his face, I saw the timing and offered him a towel. I want him to use it like he did yesterday. I was hoping that we could chat from thereā¦
āItās not good if Souta misunderstands you or something.ā
Ugh!
āKanae, you said that Souta wasā¦ If youāre too nice to me just because Iām your childhood friend, Souta might have a weird misunderstanding.ā
Fuguā¦
āIām rooting for you, Kanaeā¦ā
Uh, Itās a terrible disaster because I said I liked Souta-kun!
What should I doā¦
I look down and think. My body trembles.
I think Iāll just say that I like Yuki-kunā¦? But if I suddenly say I like Yuki-kun when I said I liked Souta-kun two days ago, wonāt people think Iām weirdā¦?
No, itās definitely weird. Iām sure heāll think Iām a light woman. I donāt want Yuki-kun to think of me that way.
And then, as if to add insult to injury, the image of Yuki cuddling with the manager came to my mind.
āThen. Iāll wipe it off for youā¦!ā
I jumped up and forcibly scrubbed Yukiās wet face with a towel.
After a while, I looked at Yukiās cheeks and saw that they were red from the scrubbing ā Iām sorry, Iām sorry!
But in the confusion of the moment, I touched Yukiās cheek.
āIām going to take responsibilityā¦!ā
Before Yuki-kun could say anything, I turned on my heel and left for the classroom before I could see his face.
My heart was racing. I was very forceful, but I declared to Yuki-kun that I would take responsibility for him. I wonder if he thinks Iām weirdā¦ Iām sure he thinks Iām weird. No, on the contrary, he might think Iām dangerousā¦
āUgggghhhā¦ā
When I returned to my seat, I couldnāt help but hold my head in my hands.
If I donāt do something like that, Yuki will try to avoid me. Itās all my own fault for rejecting Yukiās confession, but I canāt help but think about how convenient it would be for him to understand how Iām feeling right now.
āBut when I sayā¦ responsibility, itās still āthat kind of thingā, isnāt itā¦?ā
Iām still a student, and more importantly, I think itās selfish of me to do this without Yuki-kunās permissionā¦
Oh, but you see ā I canāt stop my dizzying imagination anymore.