âExcuse me!â Seeing the two of them blocking her path, Xiang Wan smiled and nodded at them. When they moved to let her pass, she walked straight towards Bai Muchuanâs office.
She hadnât seen him the entire day.
When she reported for work, as well as in the afternoon when she ate her lunch in the canteen, he was nowhere to be seen.
Xiang Wan knew he was busy with work, so she didnât try to ask for his whereabouts. After all, she wasnât in a convenient position to do so.
However, at this moment, she really felt like asking himâŠ
She wanted to ask him if what those people were saying was true?
She wanted to ask him if he had stayed behind in Jin City because of her?
When she added up all the things that heâd done for her, the gratitude she felt for him was too heavy to bear.
Xiang Wan guessed that he should be inside his office. However, when she went closer, the office was locked. There was no one inside.
The officers who werenât on duty were preparing to leave for the day. They walked together in groups of twos and threes, chatting and joking with each other.
Xiang Wan was standing in the hallway outside the office when Cheng Zheng spotted her solitary and desolate figure.
He and Mei Xin were coming down from the upper floors. When he saw Xiang Wan, he stopped in his tracks. âYou can go ahead first!â
This sentence was said without emotion and was directed at Mei Xin, but he didnât spare her a glance when he said that.
Mei Xin narrowed her eyes slightly at his side profile, and she furrowed her eyebrows a little. âHm,â she replied casually and left.
Cheng Zheng didnât even notice her leave.
He stood where he was for more than ten seconds before catching up to the woman who was walking with her head lowered.
âHeâs not in the office today,â Cheng Zheng said quietly.
Xiang Wan saw his legs first before she slowly raised her head and looked him in the eye. âWho?â
âBai Muchuan.â
âHow did you know I was looking for him?â
âWhat do you think?â
Cheng Zheng always had this certain look on his face.
His expression and his tone were always indifferentâeven his eyes looked aloof. Although he was staring at Xiang Wan, she didnât get the sense that he was looking at her at allâŠ
âThe whole world knows,â he said, âIâm not stupid.â
âUhâŠâ Xiang Wan dragged the tip of her shoe to and fro against the tiled floor. âYes, I have something to ask Captain Bai, but since heâs not around, Iâll just ask him tomorrow.â
She laughed awkwardly. âCaptain Cheng, if you donât need me for anything, then Iâll go back home now.â
âHm, together.â Cheng Zheng immediately turned around after saying that.
Xiang Wan was stunned for a while. âThereâs no need toââ
âItâs on the way.â
ââŠâ
He was her second landlord and neighbor, of course it would be on the way.
But Xiang Wan really didnât feel like accepting the offer.
The moment she accepted this excuse of âitâs on the wayâ, would it become âitâs on the wayâ every day then?
Or maybe he might even knock on her door and borrow some soy sauce in the future�
When she continued to stand there without moving, Cheng Zheng appeared to get a little impatient and suddenly turned around. He looked at her with a serious expression that she had never seen before. âThere are some things that I felt you should know. Weâll talk on the way back.â
It was hard to reject this after heâd spoken so formally.
Xiang Wan paused a little before following after him.
It was the rush hour; traffic in Jin City was congested as always.
The weather was cloudy and gloomy without any sunlight, yet the air was stuffy enough that it made people feel suffocated.
The car eventually joined the main traffic flow. Cheng Zheng drove for quite a long distance before Xiang Wan heaved a sigh. She had yet to hear him say a word about the things that she needed to know.
Cheng Zheng narrowed his eyes, still looking ahead as he thought for a while. âWhat do you know about Bai Muchuan?â
Eh? Xiang Wan furrowed her brows. âWhat do you mean?â
âIf you donât know much about him, why are you letting yourself sink deeper and deeper?â
ââŠâ Xiang Wan found herself at a loss for words.
After thinking for a while, she gave a light grunt in dissatisfaction.
âCaptain Cheng, this is my personal matter. I donât need to explain myself to you.â
Cheng Zheng didnât look at her. There was never a smile on his face, nor did he ever display any other emotion.
âDo you know why he wasnât at the office today?â
The sudden question left Xiang Wan perplexed. She didnât understand how this was related to his previous question, and she chuckled with disdain.
âHeâs the Captain of the whole unitâhe can go anywhere he likes. Itâs not my business to care where he goes.â
Cheng Zheng slowly turned to look at her. âXiang Wan, you know too little about him. No, you know absolutely nothing about him. Sometimes, I donât even know if I should admire your obsession towards him or mock your brainless, childish actionsâŠ?â
ââŠâ
Nobody liked being criticized. Even though Xiang Wan had a good temper, she couldnât help feeling irritated about it.
âCaptain Cheng, Iâm getting down at the junction ahead, thank you.â
Facing her sudden cold treatment, Cheng Zheng didnât take it to heart. He still used the same tone and speed to talk. âDo you believe the rumors? That he chose to stay in Jin City all because of you? Are you so moved that you canât think of anything else?â
Xiang Wan took a deep breath, trying to keep herself from swearing.
Well, both of them held different views about life, values, and ethics. They were unable to communicate. There was no need for her to explain.
She kept an indifferent expression and chose to stay quiet.
Cheng Zheng glanced at her and suddenly remarked, âHis girlfriend came to Jin City and sheâll be staying here for a few months. He went to visit her at the set.â
Girlfriend? Visit her at the set?
Xiang Wan felt like she got struck by lightning. She didnât react for a long time.
There was a red light at the junction.
Cheng Zheng stopped the car and turned to her. âHis girlfriend is the actress who will be acting as the female lead for âThe Grey Listâ⊠Xie Wanwan,â he said hesitantly.
Xiang Wan didnât move.
Cheng Zheng looked at her for a long time, only looking away when the green light came on, and he started driving again.
âSeems like you donât really pay attention to the news in the entertainment industry? The shooting location for âThe Grey Listâ will be at Jin City. But⊠very few know about their relationship. Well, sheâs a celebrity, so itâs natural for her to keep that information under wrapsâŠâ
âActually, I do follow the entertainment newsâŠâ Xiang Wan felt a ripping pain, twitching every now and then in her heart. She was upset but was unable to talk about it. This feeling was stronger than sheâd expected. When she spoke, her voice was so hoarse that it didnât sound natural to the ears. âHowever, my attention is on the hot young stars, Iâm not interested in the female celebrities. Thatâs what you would call⊠opposites attract.â
She actually admired how she could say so much in such a calm manner.
Cheng Zheng was less optimistic about her response.
He swept a sidelong glance at her. âTheyâve known each other for many years, and their relationship is very closeâŠâ At this point, he paused and suddenly changed the subject. âBefore Bai Muchuan returned to the capital, she came to Jin City once. You might not have knownâŠâ
Before?
Xiang Wan tried hard to recall.
She remembered calling Bai Muchuan when she learned that he was going back to the capitalâ sheâd heard the gentle voice of a woman.
Or when sheâd been eating alone at the Hotpot restaurant, and she coincidentally spotted their group. Wasnât there a woman with long hair standing beside him?
Xiang Wan tried hard to remember what the girl looked like, but to no avail.
Even if Xie Wanwan was a popular celebrity, Xiang Wan didnât know about much about her anywayâŠ
Of course, Xie Wanwan had a beautiful face, but she looked just like those internet wannabes who were very pretty but seemed to share the same momâXiang Wan couldnât differentiate between these women. She was one of those people who had face blindness, unable to tell these beautiful women apart from each other. Therefore, with regards to Xie Wanwanâs shows or dramas, she wasnât too interested in them.
The last time Xiang Wan saw any news about her would most probably be due to âThe Grey Listâ.
This was because Xie Wanwan had taken the role of the first female lead of âThe Grey Listâ.
As the loyal fan of Second Young Master Mu, Xiang Wan was actually not too pleased with the choice of Xie Wanwan taking up that role.
Well, Xie Wanwan was probably the first choice of the entertainment company as she was a popular young starlet, had millions of fans, generated huge public interest, a major VIP in Weibo⊠Her A-List status could fit the role of the hugely popular âThe Grey Listâ. Nevertheless, Xiang Wan had always felt that Xie Wanwan and the image of the first female lead inside her head were unable to overlap with each other.
Some people commented that Xie Wanwan had managed to secure that role because of her name.
As for Xie Wanwanâs fans, they had been supporting their idol by generating a lot of interest, saying that Second Young Master Mu had used her as a reference when he wrote about the female lead in his first book, âThe Grey ListââŠ
Well, coincidentally, the name of the female lead in âThe Grey Listâ was also âWanwanâ.
She had no surname, only two wordsâWanwan.
Back when the âThe Grey Listâ was still being written, and she was following the novel closely, numerous readers left comments asking Second Young Master Mu why his first female lead, Wanwan, had no surnameâŠ
Second Young Master Mu never explained why.
Of course, he never replied to any comment at all. Heâd been a headstrong person right from the start.
âSighâŠâ
A long while later, Xiang Wan noticed that her palms were sweaty.
The ripping, twitching pain in her heart had subsided. It was as if sheâd woken up from a certain emotion, and she gave a not too pleasant-looking smile.
âIâm not interested in knowing all that. You didnât need to tell me about it.â
Cheng Zheng pursed his lips, and he spoke in a tone that didnât sound as cool and collected as before. It was the usual cut-and-dried speech about life to educate and brainwash her.
âItâs best that you think like that. I believe that youâre someone who knows what you want in life. Actually, life is short. In just the blink of an eye, decades pass by just like that. There are so many interesting things to be done, why do you want to spend so much time on romantic relationships? Xiang Wan, donât let your feelings hurt you, itâs not worth it.â
ââŠâ
She took a deep breath and put on a smile.
âCaptain Cheng, you think too much.â
Cheng Zheng furrowed his eyebrows. âYouâre no longer a young girl. There are a lot of things that youâll surely understand. What is love? A product of phenethylamine. Human beings misinterpret some natural physiological codes and give themselves too many misunderstandings⊠Many people think that love is a necessity of life, especially women. In fact, it is not soâhuman beings wonât die without love.â
Is he consoling me?
What a unique way of consoling a person.
However, this was not what Xiang Wan needed.
She didnât really need much consolation either. She and Bai Muchuan had never crossed the line. Most of the time they were just joking with each other, which she didnât need to be serious about. She might like him, but it didnât have to be him.
Plus, she was someone who would stand by her decision the entire way. Even if there were no Bai Muchuan, she wouldnât agree with Cheng Zheng, who had a cold-blooded attitude towards feelings.
Nonetheless, everyone had their own way of living their life.
She might not have agreed with him, but she wouldnât try to change him.
âAs long as youâre happy with it. Perhaps not secreting phenethylamine is also a kind of happiness.â
Cheng Zheng saw that although Xiang Wan was smiling, there was a look of loneliness on her face.
But he didnât say anything about it until he reached another red light and stopped his car.
His hand stroked the steering wheel repeatedly as he mulled over something. âXiang Wan, I donât want to lie to you,â he began earnestly, âI might not feel your so-called love⊠but Iâm serious about you.â
ââŠâ
Here he goes again.
Xiang Wan was unable to say anything.
She could only smile like she hadnât been sad at all just now.
Cheng Zheng took a look at her. âIf we were a couple, I would give you absolute freedom, I would respect your preferences and habits. You can do whatever you like, and I wonât interfere, but I will raise my concerns if I feel itâs particularly inappropriate. Of course, you will have the final say on that. Weâll be in a relationship that would be better than friendsâŠâ
In a relationship that would be better than friends? Hurhur.
It sounds so much more ideal than Platoâs philosophy of love!
She wasnât sure why, but at this very moment, this was exactly the kind of relationship that Xiang Wan dreaded to hear the most.
âThank you, Captain Cheng!â At this time, she was unusually calm. She didnât want to turn to another personâs sheltered embrace just because sheâd lost someone she wanted to embrace.
âI know that youâre actually a good man,â she told him sincerely. âThose around me have been telling me that youâre a good catch, and itâs my good fortune to have met you. But I have to tell you truthfully, I donât feel anything towards you⊠Well, the phenylethylamine you mentioned, it didnât take effect at all.â
Straightforward, thorough.
She didnât think of this as hurting him. It was about taking responsibility for the other personâs feelings.
âCaptain Cheng. Actually, I really hope that one day you can find someone who can make your heart race. Someone who can make your phenylethylamine react strongly⊠By then, youâll definitely thank me for rejecting you today.â
Xiang Wan said this seriously, but Cheng Zheng didnât respond for a long time.
He was still driving, and his expression was calm and apathetic. That, at least, was a relief to Xiang Wan as it meant Cheng Zheng didnât have a heart made of glass. For someone who had no phenylethylamine, he had accepted her rejection calmly once again.
âActually, you still canât let go of Bai Muchuan, right?â
Cheng Zhengâs reaction seemed to be rather slow. He nearly drove past an entire street before Xiang Wan heard his voice.
âNo!â Xiang Wan laughed. âThose are two different matters, and I mean that. Iâm not someone who insists on something that I canât get.â
Cheng Zheng nodded. âNo matter what, I respect your opinion.â
Xiang Wan smiled. âThank you!â
Cheng Zheng suddenly turned to look at her intently. âWell, you need to remember that this is the third time that youâve rejected my sincere request.â
ââŠâ
Xiang Wan was at a loss for words.
Whatâs the difference between the third time and the first time? she thought.
She understood herself very well. She didnât feel anything for him at allâŠ
When they reached their neighborhood, Cheng Zheng dropped Xiang Wan off before he drove into the underground carpark.
Xiang Wan waved at him, but he only looked at her without moving. âI have a request, and I hope youâll agree to it.â
He said this in his usual calm demeanor, not once did he deviate from his own pace. He was like a solid stone; no matter what happened, his peace of mind would never breakâŠ
âPlease say it.â Xiang Wan pulled at her clothes, feeling warm when she saw him sizing her up.
âWe⊠Can we be friends?â Cheng Zheng asked.
ââŠâ
Xiang Wan was speechless once again.
At that moment, something seemed to gently nudge at Xiang Wanâs heart.
It was his somewhat fiery gaze, mixed with a trace of emotion, which surprised her. She hadnât expected it, and her immediate reflex was to avoid his eyes.
âI can add a deadline,â continued Cheng Zheng when he noticed her silence. âWhen you have a boyfriend, we can stop being friends. That way, it wonât affect you.â
Xiang Wan was slightly taken aback. âWe⊠are considered friends, I believe.â
âOkay.â Cheng Zheng looked relieved. âSo, weâll go to work together tomorrow morning. Youâre not allowed to refuse!â
Xiang Wan: ââŠâ
With that, the car drove into the underground carpark.
Xiang Wan paused for a while before she went upstairs.
While the lift went up, her brain seemed to hum randomly along with the lift, and she didnât know what she was thinking about.
Ding!
The lift stopped.
The moment she stepped out into the hallway, before making a turn, she could already hear someone laughing blissfully in front of the door to her newly rented house.
âStop that! Keep your hands to yourself, or Iâm going to chop them off for you.â
âHeheh! Quick, open the door.â
âWait a minute, Iâm finding my keys⊠Wait, how am I going to get my keys if youâre like this⊠Hm⊠Hahaha⊠Stop it⊠Youâre annoying!â
Xiang Wan stopped walking when she heard this.
It was Fang Yuanyuan and Huang He. From their conversation, there seemed to be some PG-grade scenes, a.k.a in need of parental guidance. If she went over now, it wouldnât be appropriate, right?
But if I donât go there, where can I go?
Clack! The door swung open.
She heard Huang Heâs voice. âI have something to do tonight, so I need to get going nowâŠâ
Fang Yuanyuan sounded a little unhappy in her reply. âWhat are you so busy with when you havenât even started your detective work?â
Huang He: âI⊠I canât go back to work yet, but I still need to work to support myself, right?â
Fang Yuanyuan: âEh? You found a job already? What kind of job is it?â
Huang He hesitated for a while and responded rather weakly.
â⊠Security officer at a nightclub. Yuanyuan, are you unhappy about that?â
ââŠâ
For a good while, there was no reply from Fang Yuanyuan.
Although Xiang Wan was far away from them, she could feel the tense atmosphere between them.
She understood Fang Yuanyuan. She knew that once Yuanyuan made up her mind to love Huang He, she would march forward courageously and wouldnât look down on his new job⊠The problem was; when he was a detective, her family already didnât give their blessings for their relationship. If their youngest aunt knew that he was just a security officer now, how could she accept this?
âIâm alright.â
Fang Yuanyuan finally responded with a smile.
âNo matter what you do, Iâll support you.â
She was sincere but because of the long pause, Huang He felt a little awkward.
âIâm sorry to disappoint youâŠâ
âIâm not disappointed. Iâm just thinking⊠have you already given up on being a detective?â
â⊠Once youâre detained, it stays in the records forever. What happened to me canât be considered a criminal record, but there are many job positions where people will care about that fact. You know, society is like that⊠But you donât have to worry, this security officer job is just temporary. As long as Iâm alive, there will be a way out.â
âHm, I believe you.â Fang Yuanyuan hugged him by his waist, resting her head on his chest. She took a few deep breaths to hold back her tears and laughed lightheartedly. âIâll be with you anyway. Even if you end up begging, Iâll still want to be with you then.â
âSo silly!â Huang He hugged her tightly. âI swear that I will surely give you a good life.â
âI believe you.â
ââŠâ
When a couple is deeply in love, they will always make a pledge of devotion.
âŠ
By the time Huang He walked to the lift, Xiang Wan was still standing in front of it.
Their eyes met, and Huang He scratched his head in embarrassment. Xiang Wan was even more embarrassed.
âWell⊠I just came back.â
âI heard.â Huang He was a detective after all; he had sensitive ears and sharp eyes. He knew Xiang Wan must have come back, but Yuanyuan didnât notice the sound of the lift.
âTeacher Xiang, Yuanyuan⊠is unable to think properly at times, so you need to help her out.â
What does he mean by that?
Xiang Wan looked at him vigilantly. âDonât tell me you want to run away again?â
âNo, no, no.â Huang He waved his hands frantically and heaved a sigh. âIâm starting my new job today, and Iâm going to be busy from now on. So⊠I thought of asking you to take care of her. Sheâs different from you; sheâs not as wise and sheâll dwell on unnecessary things. Sheâs impulsive, impetuous and capricious. Hurhur, sheâs still a young girl.â
A man who treats his girlfriend like a childâŠ
Xiang Wan felt warm inside and suddenly felt like laughing. âI will, sheâs my younger cousin.â
Xiang Wan paused for a while and looked at Huang He. âYour case, is it really so serious? You⊠canât go back to the police force?â
Actually, she still had some doubts.
If Bai Muchuan could make her an advisorâthough not a permanent employeeâwhy couldnât he get Huang He back into the team?
This didnât make much sense!
Huang He met her gaze for a second, then slowly turned his head away. âI think I canât go back,â he said after a few seconds of hesitation, his lips set into a straight line.
âBut didnât Bai Muchuan sayââ
âItâs complicated.â Huang He gave a light cough and looked at the time again. âI canât talk right now,â said Huang He with a smile. âIf I continue to chit-chat, Iâm going to be late for work. See you again, Teacher Xiang.â
âSee you later.â
Huang He left in a hurry.
âŠ
Xiang Wan entered the house and saw Fang Yuanyuan sitting on the sofa, hugging her knees while deep in thought.
Unsurprised at seeing this scene, she poured a glass of water for Fang Yuanyuan.
âWhat do you want to eat tonight? Iâll cook for youâŠâ
âSis!â Fang Yuanyuan lifted her head suddenly and looked at her with tears in her eyes. âWhat do you think I should do? Youngest Aunt surely wonât agree to let me see Huang He! If he could go back to the police force, I could still persist and try to persuade her slowly⊠Now heâs a security officer, I⊠I wonât be able to say a word if I faced Youngest Aunt and my parents now.â
ââŠâ
What to do?
What to do?
At this moment, Xiang Wan felt her limbs turn numb, her nerves and thoughts had yet to be restored. What could she do for others when she hadnât been cured herself?
âWhere thereâs a will, thereâs a way,â she said.
It would be the same for Fang Yuanyuan, as well as Huang He.
It would be the same⊠for herself as well.
âŠ
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