And then, It seems like I made some kind of mistake.
(TL: I am so sorry I can only do mtl TT^TT This is my first time doing this so if you find any major mistakes or grammatical errors, which I'm sure there will be plenty of with my technical level, please let me down gently. This story was dropped by the original author for a long time so there is likely no hope of it ever finishing, but I thought I should at least publish the rest of the chapters that were released. Enjoy the reading ^^)
In a room that is still dark and silent before dawn, two men are engaged in a close-range confrontation on the edge of the bed, holding a dagger between them. What kind of scene is this? I was tired, and I’m still tired now. Why did it come to this!?
“You shouldn’t know my circumstances. I understand that you hadn’t thought deeply, and that you only gave me a name because you didn’t want to call me Latu knowing the meaning. You confirmed my real name and gave me the name Suou... and that made me happy.
It’s understandable if you think of me in terms of power. Among those who came before, there were certainly individuals like that. But I’m not like that. You have no choice but to believe this, but until I met you, I was fine without power. However, after meeting you, I didn’t run away from myself, and I wanted to be the me I desired.”
“...”
What do you want me to say? No matter how much you ask, the answer is already decided. I grip Suou’s hand tightly. Suou didn’t relax, the tip of the dagger was still on his neck.
“Because you are like that, I want you to become my master. I want to release my right eye and use everything I have, including my left eye, for you.”
Heavy! It’s too heavy!! Why is this person fixated on me to this extent? I heard the reason earlier, but it doesn’t seem like the balance between their desire and the reasons behind it are quite right. I don’t understand what he means by right eye or the left eye... And, come to think of it, I have no idea what kind of power would be unleashed, which is terrifying in itself.
“Haa. For now, remove this dagger from your neck. And then, start by telling me your story. It’s unrealistic to become a master without knowing anything. You wouldn’t like it either, would you? Becoming a master so lightly... At the very least, give me some basic information. I don’t understand what you mean by the right eye and the left eye, and it’s scary. Let me listen to your story and think... just a bit! Let me think.”
No, even if I think about it, the answer remains the same. I feel like I’m falling into a trap here. It might be better to firmly decline. I know I shouldn’t give them hope, but if they still won’t understand even after I say no clearly, What should I do?
“Normally, that would be the case, but if it’s you it’s fine. Well, I understand your perspective, so I’ll tell you. I don’t have any intention of letting you go. If you’re willing to listen, that means you’re prepared, right?”
Upon saying this, Suou relaxes his grip on the dagger. On the other hand, I’m left speechless.
I’m willing to listen, but I’m not prepared for this! Shouldn’t I have just not listened to begin with!? But in the current situation where not listening wouldn’t work either, I thought it would be better to listen and then decline to someone who won’t understand otherwise. At first, I thought this might be a casual conversation, but it seems heavier, and I didn’t expect it to be like this. Oh no... I think I made a mistake!! I don’t know where I went wrong, but I definitely messed up, right!? Me!!
As I stand there dumbfounded, Suou sheathes their dagger and kneels in front of me. I’m surprised there’s kneeling etiquette here as well. Even though I’m trying to escape from reality, Suou mercilessly continues the conversation.
“First, let’s start with a brief discussion about the clan... the bloodline and secret techniques that flow within me.”
“I’m begging you, please tell me the bare minimum. I don’t need any more information than necessary. Yeah, I don’t need it!”
I don’t want to hear more heavy stories than necessary. It’s probably not a mistake to feel that the more I listen, the less I’ll be able to escape. I can’t afford to make any more mistakes!!
“Ah, well, the situation is complicated and troublesome. I don’t intend to burden you with our side’s problems.
Do you remember the discussion we had during the day about the ‘Closed-Eye Clan’? This clan is known as the ‘Philight.’ Although things might have changed a bit now. Over the years, the clan, due to their unique abilities, has been sought after by those in power, who stripped them of everything imaginable. The name ‘Closed-Eye Clan’ was given during the harshest period.”
“Does that mean those in power were using your clan?”
“Yeah, that’s right. They sought the secret techniques of the Closed-Eye Clan and used them for their own gain. People around them saw the effect of that power and grew fearful of it.
The members of the clan were continuously exploited for their value, and it became natural for them. They couldn’t walk any path other than the one dictated by their value to others. A clan that has no self and can only live through the Lord. So, without losing hope, they continued to seek new masters... and I’ve lived my life thinking they were a bunch of fools. That didn’t change even after inheriting the mark of the left eye, or rather, I had to think that way to survive. But after meeting you I was able to learn about and accept myself.
Suou gently touches his closed left eyelid. The fingertips used were trembling faintly.
“The tribal chiefs all held their own and continued to resist, so that they wouldn’t be overwhelmed by their own abilities. It was for the successors and the future of the clan that they did so. Above all, it was for the sake of being themselves, to fulfill their desires. Every time they felt like they were being swallowed up by loneliness, they lived with the hope of meeting someone who would accept them and live happily together. Especially for those with the ‘Memoria’ mark, a master is a special and indispensable existence.
While I mocked those ancestors, deep down, I secretly envied them. I have no value. I have always been despised by my clan and those who serve it. I’ve been considered worthless, someone who isn’t needed and can even cease to exist if inconvenient. That was the norm, even after gaining my left eye; I realized how useless I was and how much of a burden I was. I felt like my very existence was a mistake. And that’s precisely why I couldn’t admit these feelings of envy.”
Suou speaks expressionlessly and matter-of-factly, but blood flows from the hand he is clasping. If I were to gently apply healing magic, their eyes that seem on the brink of tears would meet my gaze, reflecting a sense of helplessness. Suou closed his eyes momentarily, then opened his eyes again after regulating his breathing. Those eyes are so strong that they almost make me shiver, and I unintentionally straighten my back.
“I experienced warmth for the first time. And it was you. I don’t want to go back to not knowing, and even if I could go back, I wouldn’t.
Within the Philight’s abilities, there’s a unique power that only appears in the direct descendants. This power allows those born with the same hair and eye colors as mine to control beasts and magical creatures. This ability is channeled through both eyes, which is why, by the ancient ancestors’ wish, it’s sealed in both eyes, especially the right eye, through the ‘Seal of the Ancients.’ This seal is released when a pledge to a master is made and certain conditions are met.
This seal is inherent from birth and prevents the use of magic and sorcery due to its influence. Those who don’t know this situation see me as useless.
And the mark of the left eye is called the ‘Memoria’ mark, an emblem of knowledge that includes memories passed down from the ancient ancestors, inherited by the clan chief. I realized the spell that was cast upon the dogs at the royal castle due to the knowledge contained within this ‘Memoria’ mark.
Having inherited the mark of the left eye myself, I learned about the seal on this right eye. Even though it’s about the clan, these two seals were highly classified matters. Who knows about it? The patriarch, his master, and the successor; if there was anything left, it would be the one who owns the power that leaked it.”
“...”
Can I just pretend I didn’t hear anything? Manipulating beasts and magical creatures is an incredible ability, isn’t it? Would that make him a tamer? I’ve never heard of such a thing in this world! I don’t recall reading about it in “Renka” either!!
Furthermore, if you dig deeper, the one who heard it... My mind starts to spin into overdrive, and as soon as it stops, my blood drains from my face. Seeing my reaction, Suou puts on a grin that wouldn’t be out of place on a wicked magistrate.
“Have you realized it? You who have heard the story must either become my master or kill me. There are no other options.”
“Why is it only these two choices!? And they’re both terrifying options! There has to be something else. Like pretending I didn’t hear this and looking for alternatives, or looking for... something, anything! Or you giving up!!”
When I say it, I’m laughed at in a dismissive manner. Why am I the one being made a fool of!? Clearly, you’re the one at fault here, right!?
“I can’t do that. I will make you my master no matter what. If not, it’s as good as being dead. How many times do I have to say it for you to understand?”
“There are things in this world that I don’t want to understand. And you’re not understanding either, right? How many times do I have to say that I have no intention of becoming your master!?
I value myself above all. I’d kill people if it meant I could keep living. Do you want me to kill you!?”
“No, what I want the most is for you to become my master. If that can’t happen... well then. I told you, “I experienced warmth for the first time. I don’t want to go back to not knowing, and even if I could go back, I wouldn’t.’ If I went back, I wouldn’t be the same me anymore. And besides, you said, ‘You should do what you want to do in your own way.’ I’d be happy to make that happen.”
“I didn’t say anything like that... Did I!? I mean, I didn’t intend for it to sound like that. Right!?
More importantly, you’re not like an imprinted chick, so don’t go around believing there are genuinely good people out there. Don’t delude yourself. Yeah, you should see more of my true nature and realize I’m not worthy of being your master! I’m an idiot, just like you said. Instead of swearing allegiance right away, it’s better to take some time and think rationally! It’s not too late to make a pledge after that. Yeah.”
“Calling it imprinting... That’s a clever metaphor. Truly fitting for the one who is to be my master. Because of your nature, if I were to wait, you’d likely disappear, wouldn’t you? There’s no reason for me to let you commit such folly.
...Give it up already. Do I need to stab myself again, this time not in the neck, but perhaps in the chest? Whether you pledge now or after waiting, it’s the same thing. So, it’s only natural that you pledge right now. What’s the point of doing something meaningless?”
Gulp. When someone as usually cheeky as you starts using polite language, it’s really scary! And that last sentence, his voice got super low.”
“So, you... you shouldn’t take it so lightly...”
I start saying, but stop midway. Suou, who suddenly stood up, grabbed my shoulders with tremendous force.
“Now, meeting you has made it anything but light. Right now, it’s just a matter of staking my life on it. If you accept me, I will become the me I desire to be, and my life will become even more precious.”
Looking at Suou’s earnest eyes, I somehow lost my strength. Oh... it’s no use, I feel really tired for some reason. Where did I go wrong? The fact that I’m not even seriously trying to escape is proof that it’s already hopeless. Killing is out of the question, I can’t run away, and I don’t even feel like I can run away.
“If your oath is taken and the seal on your right eye is removed, won’t your abilities go out of control? Won’t there be harm to your surroundings or to yourself?”
“I haven’t experienced it myself, so I can’t say for certain, but based on the knowledge from the ‘Memoria’ mark, there shouldn’t be any issues.
In case of emergency, one of the conditions for releasing the seal is that there must be someone who can stop it. In this regard, I believe you would be capable. If you’re worried, you could cast a spell on me after the seal is released. You should be able to seal my right eye, I think.”
“Huh? But if I seal your right eye, wouldn’t that mean your wish wouldn’t come true? Well, in that case, maybe you don’t even need to pledge?”
“You... hah. I’m not making the pledge because I want power. It’s because I want you to become my master. Besides, even if the secret technique of the right eye is sealed, I believe I’ll still likely be able to use magic and spells. Even without that, I’ve trained in various martial arts and swordsmanship. I’m literally offering all of myself to you.”
“Offering all of myself... I wonder if it’s like this when you get married? I wouldn’t know, I don’t have memories of having a lover or a spouse, but either way, it feels heavy, too heavy.
This isn’t a joke, after all. Haah~ Why did things end up like this?”