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“When I inhabited that man, I was finally able to think using language and logic. The scenery, objects, and creatures I saw were given symbols. But not long after that, Shuu defeated me, and I went to possess Noa. From then on, it was the first time I stayed so long in one host… Thanks to this girl, my world has expanded so much—‘what am I?’ I’ve been thinking about that question all the time.” (Sparkle)
She looked down at her palms.
“The world I see through her eyes is nothing like mine. There is no living thing in her knowledge that corresponds to it. The words ‘demonic disease’, but I don’t even know how it is related to those other words. Shuu asked, ‘What are you?’ but really, I was the one who wanted to know the most.” (Sparkle)
Until I heard about it from Giran in Ouji, I had no idea whether the Demonic Disease was actually related to demons or not. In that sense, we had no information to link themselves to the demons.
It was like a child born and raised alone on a deserted island. They may have the intelligence to recognize the world, but they have no one like themselves, no words to define themselves.
It is a situation that ordinary people would not be able to relate to. When we imagine our state of mind, we can only come up with clichéd phrases like “loneliness” and “anxiety,” but in reality, even these are only interpretations on our side.
“But… when I met that demon in the Ouji Metro… the moment I saw that ‘awakened body’, even at a glance, I knew right away that it was the same thing as me–I was like that thing in front of Shuu. It’s the same nature as the immature figure I showed. That’s when I finally understood that I was also the same as the things called Demons. So, the first answer… is that I am a demon. Without a doubt.” (Sparkle)
When she borrowed Noa’s mouth and repeated those words again, I felt something tightening in my heart.
“I’m the same as that… I have no doubt. But… The core of the demon that I’ve heard about and the current me, I just can’t make the connection.” (Sparkle)
“What do you mean?” (Shuu)
“A Demon is the destroyer of Threadweavers. They take pleasure in killing people and bringing chaos to the human world. That demon Arato was just like that, I’m sure the other demons were like that too. But… I just don’t understand. I don’t have that kind of strong hatred or destructive urge in me right now.” (Sparkle)
“Well then, you’re not a demon, aren’t you? You’re similar creatures, but you’re completely different species. Something like a blue goblin and a red goblin.” (Shuu)
“I don’t like that analogy.” (Sparkle)
“My bad.” (Shuu)
It was not a metaphor that should be said to a lady.
“Well, still I don’t feel like I’m an ally of humans. I like this scenery because it’s beautiful, and the food was delicious, but the drunks are annoying, and I wanted to kill them a little.” (Sparkle)
“I know how you feel, but please don’t.” (Shuu)
If anything, I’m on the other side of the fence. I’m sorry for being a disgusting adult.
“…You know, I recently realized something. I am not only made up of the knowledge and ego I have absorbed from the outside. I contain something like a core that makes me who I am. And inside that core, there is something that is still tightly sealed away. I am sure… that this is the answer to my true identity.” (Sparkle)
Sparkle put her hand on her chest and narrowed her eyes.
“The key will unlock it one day… And I may become the real me. I may grow an ego as a demon, awaken to my instincts and mission as a demon… and I may want to destroy this scenery, the people who live here, and everything else.” (Sparkle)
“…If that happens, what about Noa…?” (Shuu)
“That person wasn’t the church member, she was completely Arato. So… that might be what would happen.” (Sparkle)
I clenched my fists tightly. My palms were left torn and bleeding.
“…Before that happens, how can I release Noa?” (Shuu)
According to Gillan, the real body of the demon is a [Fungus Stone]. It enters the host’s brain, takes over the host’s body, and turns them into a demon.
“Your body is like a stone, right? Isn’t there any way to get it out or get yourself out?” (Shuu)
If there was a surgical treatment, it would solve the problem at once, but I wonder how far the medicine of this world can touch such a delicate organ as the brain. If the [Fungal Stone] is embedded in a part of the body that cannot be removed in the first place, then there is nothing that can be done. If this is the case, we have no choice but to ask Sparkle to leave on her own volition.
Sparkle apologetically lowered her shoulders and shook her head.
“I’m sorry. I don’t even know if there is a way to get out of the host other than dying. I don’t know if I can do something about it myself… Or maybe I’ll know something when I grow up… at that time. I might have already become a real demon…” (Sparkle)
“…how much time is left?” (Shuu)
“That too… I don’t know. But I don’t think it will be soon. I still don’t have Arato’s strength.” (Sparkle)
Not right now, maybe. I want to believe in that hunch.
But the time will come sooner or later. Maybe in a year, two years, or even a month.
(—I.) (Shuu)
I clenched my face, closing my eyes tightly and stifle the tremors in my body.
“Abeshuu…” (Tamiko)
Tamiko’s hand touches my neck. Warm hands. First, I have to look at the whole picture,
(Is there anything I can do?) (Shuu)
“…now.” (Sparkle)
“Eh?” (Shuu)
“If you want to kill me, now is the time.” (Sparkle)
When I lifted my head, Noa—no, Sparkles was right in front of me. If I stretched out my hand, I could touch her cheek.
“Actually… I still haven’t regained my strength since I used that Fungal Skill in Ouji. Or rather, if my main body isn’t about to die, I wouldn’t be able to show that form. So I don’t have the power to fight Shuu right now.” (Sparkle)
“…and?” (Shuu)
“So—if you think I’m dangerous, now is the time. Sorry about Noa…” (Sparkle)
Sparkle spreads her hands as if to offer herself.
“…I’m sorry…” (Sparkle)
There are no other hunters around, but I can’t use [Katana] in the city. I clenched my right hand and hardened it with [Iron Fist].
“Shuu!” (Kure)
“Wait a minute, Abe!” (Sou)
Perhaps sensing the dangerous atmosphere, Kure and Utsuki, who were a short distance away, run up to me.
Sparkle points to her head.
“Do it properly… If you don’t break me, I’ll become someone else next time. If that happens, I’ll probably not be the person I am now.” (Sparkle)
“…are you okay with that?” (Shuu)
“I feel like if Shuu kills me, I wouldn’t mind.” (Sparkle)
From a hunter’s point of view, and as a person of this country, it’s a duty. You can even call it a mission.
The first choice you should take and there is no room for any other consideration.
In recent years, I have almost died many times in every contact with demons. I may be able to break that strange connection.
Above all, Noa—Noa?
What does she want?
What would she wish for after knowing everything?
(…that kind of thing…) (Shuu)
(How could I know without asking?!) (Shuu)
“Damn it!” (Shuu)
“Abeshuu!” (Tamiko)
“Bam!” a dull sound echoed.
The silver fist struck my forehead. Blood dripped into my eyes, and I could see Sparkle’s stunned, worried figure. While holding back tears from the pain that exceeded my expectations, a smile appeared on my mouth.
“I… don’t know what to do.” (Shuu)
There is no way I can do it.
Noa is still here. Because Noa is still alive
I breathed a sigh of relief and wiped my forehead with the back of my hand. The wound healed by itself with a faint creak. [Immortality] is convenient, but it doesn’t let me wallow in the pain at times like this.
“…you know, I still have a few questions.” (Shuu)
“Eh…?” (Sparkle)
“At that time… Why did you help me? Even though you realized you were a demon, I was fighting against your kind.” (Shuu)
Sparkle sat down and scratched her head and looked contemplative.
“That’s… because… you are different. Shuu and Tamiko.” (Sparkle)
“Eh?” (Shuu)
“Squeak?” (Tamiko)
Hesitating to say more, Sparkle paused for a moment.
“…Maybe it’s the influence of this child, Noa. Maybe not… But either way it’s fine. As Sparkle, I like both of you.” (Sparkle)
The smile that she suddenly showed was different from any of her previous smiles, younger and more innocent than Noa’s.
“I don’t hate myself, who makes me think that way, and Noa, who makes me think that way. But I wanted to save only Shuu and Tamiko… and only you two… I want to be on your side…” (Sparkle)
I sat down and scratched my head. It was dark, which helped, because my complexion can’t be seen.
“If possible, I’d like you to be on the side of humanity if you can.” (Shuu)
“…I’ll try not to kill, even if they piss me off…” (Sparkle)
“I knew she’s dangerous, squeak.” (Tamiko)
“Everybody has their dangerous moments.” (Shuu)
Noa herself is kind and devoted to our group, but she is by no means a benevolent saint. Rather, she is a strong advocate of killing bandits, and she is rather cold toward those who are not her friends. I wonder to what extent Noa’s influence is reflected in sparkles actions.
At any rate—as long as Sparkle is not the enemy of mankind, there is still time to save the day.
Not yet—a yes.
(–Yes, there is.) (Shuu)
There are things we can do.
Sparkle’s head swooned. She places her hands on the floor to support her body.
“…I’m sorry, I’m a little tired and sleepy…” (Sparkle)
I grabbed her by the shoulder. I certainly can’t feel strength in her limbs.
“…Next time, I don’t think I’ll be able to come out for a while. But it’s better that way…” (Sparkle)
A weak, shaky smile.
“…Because, I don’t want Shuu to hate me…” (Sparkle)
I lowered my head, desperately tried to string together words in a flash, and raised my gaze with determination.
“…Sparkle, let me be clear. The most important person to me is Noa.” (Shuu)
Sparkle’s heartbeat was transmitted to my arm.
“I’ll do whatever it takes to save Noa. If there is a way to get you out of there, I will definitely do it. So, until then… even if you are an enemy of the country or a super dangerous creature, I’ll take care of you. I’ll put my body on the line as much as I have to.” (Shuu)