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Chapter 526




Monk Dae-woo squared up his shoulders and breached Mu Ssang’s personal space with his bald head. His face was full of pride and confidence. He was like a kindergarten child anticipating a compliment.
“Ugh!”
Mu Ssang huffed and retreated. Teacher had disposed of his gray monk’s robe and went all black. Pitch-black rimless sunglasses, calfskin gloves, studded black leather jacket. He was no longer a monk but an old thug who was lately acquainted with the pleasures of the world. His glossy head contributed to the image of a member of a bike gang.
“Teacher, what is all this?”
He was well aware of Teacher’s childlike candor, but how could he fashion such a look in the July heat?
Mu Ssang turned his gaze to Kamdoong unconsciously. Cleanly shaven hair, old monk’s robe, white rubber shoes, big beads draped around his neck, a wild-spinach staff in his hand. His noble posture was that of an archetypal practising monk. Kamdoong’s appearance was as shocking as Teacher’s, albeit in a different way.
‘Did they swap souls?’
Teacher, always playful, could do such a thing with no qualms whatsoever. Mu Ssang scanned Kamdoong with Dimensional Sight. Kamdoong shook his head with grim eyes. He was as resigned as a bullied middle school student.
“Did you see?”
Monk Dae-woo insisted. His posture, with his neck upright and chin pushed out, was akin to a black man in Harlem. He must have been very proud of his feat. Mu Ssang felt like he was going to be punched if he did not answer quickly.
“I saw. It’s great.”
Mu Ssang averted his eyes and gave him a thumbs-up.
“This is quite a cinch. If the engine was stronger, I could have performed much more powerfully.”
“It was sufficiently powerful and exciting.”
“I went through two sets of tires last spring to learn how to do skidding. I realized that if one pours one’s whole heart onto something, it is bound to happen.”
‘Haha!’
The veins in Mu Ssang’s temple bulged as he tried to suppress his laughter. Teacher’s heart met the wrong owner. An F1-race feat was certainly doable by Teacher.
With Panda, he could turn mid-air, vault, and run along the wall like an acrobat. He was proud of himself because he did not use any supernatural powers and only used his muscles and reflex to control the vehicle. For a man in his nineties, he was quite great.
“You did quite a feat. Maybe you should be cast in a movie.”
“Hmm. I shouldn’t steal other people’s jobs.”
Monk Dae-woo kept moving his shoulders. A gold chain decoration hanging from the leather jacket clinked. Mu Ssang had no idea where he got such a hippie jacket.
‘This isn’t it!’
Mu Ssang’s smile faded. Teacher was dressed like a typical old motorcyclist on the highway between Seoul and Chuncheon. Mu Ssang felt a certain uneasiness. The feeling was not unwarranted.
“Mu Ssang, it is time I graduate from car driving. After learning how to skid, it is no fun anymore. A car is too tame.”
“Is that so? A car is safe and you can drive in bad weather and…”
“That’s the problem. It is not speedy and thrilling enough.”
Monk Dae-woo cut Mu Ssang off.
“Speedy and thrilling?”
Mu Ssang grimaced. Teacher had skittered around everywhere, engrossed in his car. Now he was saying that he would be a motorcyclist.
“You are a young man and don’t have romantic sentiments at all. Your entire emotional capacity is as big as a stingray’s penis. If you are a man, you shall love the low grumble of the engine and blare out some music from radio as you drive down a road covered with cherry blossoms.”
“A stingray is quite well endowed. And it has two penises.”
Mu Ssang defended the fish. A stingray’s penis is used as an insult in Korean because male stingrays are not a good catch with their small stature and the spine attached to their penis often injures fishermen. When they catch a male stingray, the first thing the fishermen do is sever the hand-sized penises with a blade.
“A sheathed Excalibur is no more useful than a kitchen knife in use!”
Monk Dae-woo glared at Mu Ssang’s crotch. Mu Ssang, startled, covered the area with his hands. Monk Dae-woo must be still disappointed with what he did or did not do with Jin Soon.
“That is quite a profound insight.”
“The black men on television are quite adept at handling their motorcycles. They can lift the front wheel and only run on the back wheel, lift the back wheel and run on the front wheel only, and can turn in a gliding motion in a narrow alley.”
Monk Dae-woo glanced at Mu Ssang’s back pocket as he spoke. Mu Ssang was dumbstruck. He came to his student’s housewarming party but paid no attention to the house but coveted his student’s motorcycle.
‘Gamulchi, this may be where we part ways.’
Mu Ssang detached the key from his belt. It was quite unfair for Teacher to hijack his student’s motorcycle but he was much elder, more powerful, and more eloquent than Mu Ssang. And now he is embodying an archetypal thug. Resistance was futile. Cooperation was the only way.
“Teacher, try out Gamulchi first. It has quite a power output and is quite stable. It is quite a ride.”
“That is quite auspicious.”
Monk Dae-woo snatched the key from Mu Ssang’s hand.
“Mu Ssang, I am quite fond of Harley-Davidson. The mixed beat of the vibrations tugs at my heart! Haha!”
Monk Dae-woo, excited, acted quite boisterous. Mu Ssang nodded. Gamulchi was better suited for driving but Harley’s V-shaped twin engines emitted a peculiar low grumble and exhaust sound that fascinated the male heart.
A human male, once past puberty, is instinctively drawn to speed. It was surely not surprising if Teacher, soon in his nineties, was suddenly fond of black leather jacket and relishing speed and vibrations. Men, as long as they had enough energy to walk, were keen to mount whether it was a motorcycle or a woman.
“Don’t worry. I will get you a Harley in a fortnight.”
“I thought it took more than a year to import one? My students should never lie.”
His wrinkled face was stretched smooth when his eyes widened.
“Don’t worry. I have that much leverage,” Mu Ssang said loudly. It just needed to be registered as a diplomat’s vehicle and be transported on Falcon.
Mu Ssang was happy to pamper Teacher. Monk Dae-woo had no attachments in the world. It would not have been surprising if he got on a stork’s back and went on to the other side at any moment. So, it was quite good news that he was beginning to covet things. If he asked for a personal helicopter, not Harley, Mu Ssang would have still obliged.
“What is this? You splurged big time.”
Monk Dae-woo, having accomplished what he came for, looked up at the main house. Its size, blocking most of one’s field of view, was tremendous. The many wooden parts connecting the pillars with the four-sided roof were reminiscent of Gyeongbok Palace.
“It is quite big.”
Mu Ssang flinched, still overwhelmed by Teacher’s eccentric behavior.
“Big doesn’t even begin to describe it. Most people would be overwhelmed by its size.”
Mu Ssang was discouraged. Teacher must have meant more does not equal better. Teacher had always done away with needless possessions. If he ordered Mu Ssang to sell the house and donate the money, that was going to be quite troublesome.
“Teacher, it is indeed too big. I had to buy off the houses of struggling neighboring elders. So the area became wider than planned.”
Mu Ssang hid his anxiety and explained in advance.
“I thought so. The town was in decline. Of course, many would sell their houses and move elsewhere! They don’t have any foresight.”
Priest Dae Woo clucked his tongue. Thanks to Mu Ssang who tended to the town’s energy, the Go Boon town regained its prosperity. The people who sold their houses metaphorically kicked out luck that tumbled their way.
‘Phew, I got lucky!’
Mu Ssang let out a sigh of relief. Buying off house after house, the area had become quite big. Teacher had lived his whole life without any intent or needless possessions. He got lucky because Teacher did not tell him off.
“Gonggong, read that.”
Monk Dae-woo pointed at a nameplate.
“The House of Accepting Hearts.”
Kamdoong responded politely.
“Do you know how to read Chinese characters?”
Mu Ssang’s eyes widened.
“Hey, even Samdi is better than you. You barely memorized Thousand Hands Scripture.”
‘Ugh!’
Mu Ssang had no retort to that. Samdi read through half of the 600 books of Prajnaparamita in the short time he stayed in the monastery. Mu Ssang was dumbstruck.
“I am sorry for disappointing you.”
“Is that attitude I’m sensing?”
“Would I dare show attitude in front of my great teacher?”
“You are such a petty man. That was attitude. I am going for a walk around the place.”
“I will guide you.”
“I have my own legs and eyes!”
Monk Dae-woo waved away then strode on. He was reminiscent of a baby black bear.
“Are you done regenerating?”
Kamdoong, quiet up until this moment and overwhelmed by Priest Dae Woo’s energy, joined his palms together solemnly.
“The Lesser Vehicle, Gonggong, thank the Eastern Swordsman for his concern. I have completed recharging and regenerating the damaged core.”
“Teacher turned him into a dork!” Mu Ssang clucked his tongue. He shuddered to think the amount of discipline that turned even Kamdoong into a proper monk.
“Why are you acting like that? Did you eat something weird?”
Mu Ssang glared at Kamdoong.
“Shush. When I met Jin Soon, Master beat me up for a month for getting caught by you. I tried to resist then…”
Kamdoong pointed at his forehead.
“Restraining Headpiece!”
Mu Ssang lamented. It was a control spell what Teacher used to turn Samdi into a human. Until the caster releases the binding, any being with a soul cannot escape the restraint of the headpiece. Xuanzang retrained Sun Wukong with this spell.
“The high-level ELF was no use. Neither was transformation. Whenever I had a thought that wasn’t monk-like or said a swearword, my entire body was disintegrated. I had to experience my cells being torn into molecules. That feeling and pain… Ugh!”
Kamdoong clenched his fists and shuddered.
“Teacher can be quite petty sometimes.”
“How dare you say such a thing! Teacher is as gentle as the sun in the sky and as merciful as the wind in a forest.”
“How did Kamdoong end up like…”
Mu Ssang could not finish his sentence and gazed at Kamdoong with pity. It also made him fear Teacher’s capacity. In a short amount of time, he perfectly instilled human emotions in Kamdoong. It was a more difficult task than moving a mountain or draining the ocean.
“Friend, be wary of what you say. Teacher is able to hear the sound of a window opening in the town below,” Kamdoong whispered.
“I can hear you!”
Monk Dae-woo yelled from the back garden.
“Ouch!”
Mu Ssang cringed and Kamdoong’s face was lit by golden light. The light stayed on the top of Kamdoong’s head then faded.
“Gonggong, I’ve released it.”
“Teacher, I am grateful!”
Kamdoong knelt on the ground. The persistent soul binding was undone.
“Friend, when you need some muscles, just tell me.”
Kamdoong rolled up his sleeves.
“You must be overflowing with power!”
“It must be because of the genes of the fellow called Ocelot. An incorrigible animal-like bastard must be beaten with a woodblock. My fists are barely holding it in.”
Without Restraining Headpiece, Kamdoong turned hostile. His expressionless face showed a subtle smile and his shoulders squared up. Mu Ssang understood why Teacher had to restrain him with the headpiece.
“Hey, that is why Teacher bound your soul. In the human world, even if you are strong, you shouldn’t act up. Also, don’t smile. Especially in front of women, don’t show your smile.”
“Haha. I do not know the difference between men, women, animals, and plants. I only care if I can empathize with them.”
“I think I get it.”
Mu Ssang nodded. Kamdoong was not an animal or a plant. His emotion and reason were also not genuine but a mask instilled by Teacher. He awakened and gained a human’s body but he still remained a bionic robot in essence. No wonder he felt nothing toward women.
“You’ve built 12 outhouses! You are finally showing some sense.”
Monk Dae-woo, completing his walk around the house, grinned widely.
‘Ugh!’
Mu Ssang frowned. He knew what Teacher was thinking. Designed after the story of Lord Mengchang who had 3,000 guests, the outhouses were for visitors.
“You did well to bring the valley’s water into the garden. It bodes well for feng shui. I doubt you did it consciously though.”
“You are exactly right.”
Mu Ssang scratched his head. He knew nothing about feng shui. He only did it because he liked water.
“I designated this area for the construction of your house because of the water’s energy connected here from the Palgong mountain. But even the water’s energy is no match to your fiery energy.”
“Should I make a pond in the energy’s center?”
“Never. The center is only where the water’s energy and life force gather. Water as a physical substance matters not. The center has finally stabilized. If you dig it up, how are you different from Japanese invaders?”
“I stay ignorant. You shall designate the spot for the pond too.”
“Huh. I need to go back to the mountain and you still seek to use me!”
Monk Dae-woo’s squashed eyes were overflowing with kindness. The resolve that kept him sane as he went through hell several times was apparent. He had sent Mu Ssang to war zones, trusting his good heart and strong resolve, but that still did not set him free from worries.
Mu Ssang had a good heart. It pained Monk Dae-woo to ponder the inner conflict and pain that Mu Ssang must have felt as he absolved the bloodthirst and violence that seeped into his soul. The public thinks of the six Buddhist supernatural powers as a solution for all, but it was not so. If human fate solely depended upon causality, the world would be a lot simpler..